RVB Arrancars Chorus
by darkmachines
Summary: Crash on a planet, the Reds and Blues get stuck in a war, but their more behind this war that each side and the group knows about. New action, characters, and surprises.
1. Ep 1

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _One-Zero-One!_

 **Washington:** ( _voice over_ ) Journal entry "one-zero-one."

 _Fade in to a canyon. The camera pans down to reveal a communications tower and soon other areas of the canyon._

 **Wash:** ( _voice over_ ) It's been a while since I've done one of these so uh, let's get caught up to speed. Everything can be traced back to Project Freelancer, a military organization gone horribly wrong. The men in charge were corrupt and the soldiers who followed them were blind. Guess which side I was on? Eventually it was the project's own creations that tore it to pieces, and I was the one sent out to pick them up. I recovered, weapons, armor and A.I. fragments, all in an effort to keep the wrong people from getting them first but I was too slow. Everyone fought over the remnants of Project Freelancer. I didn't think I could believe in anyone anymore. But then... I met the Reds and Blues.

 _Pans over to Baraggan approaching Di-Roy on a bridge._

 **Baraggan:** Hey Di-Roy!

 **Di-Roy:** Hello.

 ** **Baraggan** :** We've got a proposition for ya.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** For me? Oh well you shouldn't have.

 **Wash:** ( _voice over_ ) They had been used by the Freelancers just like I had. They were cannon fodder in a conflict with no purpose. But more importantly...

 _Pans over to Baraggan and Di-Roy talking to Rey._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Rey the Reds gave us a proposition. We should really send them some sort of thank you basket like... fruit.

 **Rey:** Proposition just means a choice you idiot.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Oh... We will take the fuzzy one.

 ** **Baraggan** :** But you don't even know what the proposition is yet.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Well then we don't know that it isn't fuzzy then do we?

 **Wash:** ( _voice over_ ) ...They were just stupid enough to trust. Together we were able to put an end to everything. The Freelancers, the A.I., even The Director of the whole operation. They're all gone. And as for us. Well, we're ship wrecked. Crashed during our ride home, and if we're not rescued soon. I have a feeling something else might find us first. This is Agent Washington signing... _(loud explosion)_ Awww, what now?!

 _Cut to Baraggan in a tank, firing at Red base._

 **Findor:** You missed sir.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Dag nabbit! Who in Sam Hill set this thing to inverted?

 ** **Findor** :** Well sir, statistically most users enjoy...

 ** **Baraggan** :** _(annoyed grunting)_

 ** **Findor** :** Well eh err, it was probably Nirgge sir.

 _Nirgge exits the base._

 **Nirgge:** Hey! What the fuck is going on out here?! Who's firing at our base?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** We are.

 ** **Nirgge** :** You are?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Our base is in desperate need of renovations. Figured I'd tear down the east wing and put in something nice and decorative. Like a mortar cannon.

 ** **Nirgge** :** And it didn't occur to you to warn me before you started blowing holes in the side of the wall?

 _Baraggan fires the tank right next to Nirgge._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh come on!

 ** **Findor** :** Direct hit sir.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** No it wasn't.

 _Wash approaches the Reds._

 **Wash:** What are you two doing?!

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Well if it isn't our good friend Agent Washington.

 **Wash:** Don't try to butter me up. Also, please refrain from pointing that at me.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Fine.

 ** **Findor** :** We were just borrowing the tank for a little construction work.

 **Wash:** Really? And which one of my men authorized this?

 _Findor stares at Wash._

 **Wash:** It was Di-Roy wasn't...

 _Pans left to reveal Di-Roy behind Wash._

 **Di-Roy:** Probably.

 **Wash:** Sarge get out of the tank.

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** :** Not a chance Blue! Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The other tenth is a tank. I've got both. Besides, we need it to upgrade our quarters.

 **Wash:** Your quarters are fine.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Yea! Now get out of the tank you senile old-

 _Baraggan fires the t ank at Nirgge._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Fucking son of a bitch!

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** :** Finger slipped.

 **Wash:** Out now!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** My turn!

 **Wash:** Please be quiet.

 **Di-Roy** : ( _whispering_ ) My turn.

 _Baraggan exits the tank._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** This is an outrage! Blue base is built directly below the crash site. You've got an unfair advantage.

 **Wash:** Sarge, the Reds and Blues aren't fighting. We're just camped at opposite ends of the canyon... in color divided teams. While heavily armed.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** True. But have you ever considered that fighting is just in our nature? It's almost instinctual. If we're not constantly trying to stab each other in the back... we'll surely die.

 **Wash:** Dear god, I hate you.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************ :** That's the spirit. He he.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** We may not be fighting but you're still way closer to the food storage than we are... and that is something that I will not stand for.

 **Findor:** You won't stand for anything fat ass.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** If you were a few feet closer, you'd be sorry.

 **Wash:** If we don't ration our food we'll all be sorry. We've yet to get our communications dish online and if we run out of food before we can radio for help we're screwed.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Buzz kill.

 **Wash:** Come on Di-Roy. We need to go have a chat with Private Rey.

 _Wash and Di-Roy leave for Blue base in the tank_

 ** **Findor** :** There goes the revered leader of the Blue Army. What a dick.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************ :** Fine! We don't need that tank anyway. As many great 21st century movie trailers once said. This is only the beginning. And then text would appear on the screen. And the music would cut out abruptly. and they'd say one... final line of dialog to leave the audience with the ultimate sense of excitement!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Like what?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************ :** ...I don't know.

 **Well, everyone here the start of season 11. Please like and review this arc and enjoy everything too.**


	2. Ep 2

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Get Your Tucks in a Row!_

 _The tank is seen driving over a bridge, heading for Blue base. Cut to Rey exiting the base._

 **Rey:** Oh shit.

 _Di-Roy appears from behind the tank._

 **Di-Roy:** We are back.

 ** **Rey** : **Di-Roy?! Christ I thought you were in that thing. Wait, who is in that thing?

 _Wash exits the tank._

 **Washington:** Hello private.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh shit.

 **Wash:** Rey, what is the one thing I tell you each and every morning?

 ** **Rey** : **Wake up.

 **Wash:** The other thing.

 ** **Rey** :** For the love of god, stop sleeping naked.

 **Wash:** Don't let anyone touch the tank.

 ** **Rey** :** Heh, okay I can see where you're going with this.

 **Wash:** Until we're rescued, we need to be more mindful of the supplies that we have.

 ** **Rey** :** I know, I know. Ration the food, maintain our equipment.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Brush your teeth, don't talk to strangers, try not to shoot anyone while they're trying to brush their teeth.

 **Wash:** And always report in to me.

 ** **Rey** : **Do we have to?

 **Wash:** Yes. I even put up that old Blue Team organizational chart to help demonstrate the point.

 _Cut to a view of the Blue team's organization chart._

 ** **Rey** : **Yeah, but we never really listened to that. Skullak just kinda shouted orders and we'd get around to them...eventually. Or we wouldn't, whatever.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** He was an inspiration to us all.

 **Wash:** Well Skullak and Carolina decided to run off without so much as a goodbye. So it's up to me to keep us all together. Maybe if someone hadn't have crashed the ship, we wouldn't be in this mess.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Whoa, wait a second. Why are you looking at me when you say that?

 **Wash:** I just have a hard time believing that thousands of well trained crew members were to blame for the incident.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Well they definitely didn't survive it. Ah ha ha ha. Ahem.

 **Wash:** Wow.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Yeah.

 **Wash:** You proud of yourself?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **No.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Yeah that was, that's too soon. Prob-probably too soon for sound effects too. ( _makes sound effects_ ) " _Meeer. Oh god help us, Kapow._ " Yeah that's too soon.

 _Cut to Red base, where Baraggan approaches Nirgge and Findor outside the base._

 **Baraggan:** Absolutely unacceptable.

 **Findor:** I couldn't agree more sir.

 **Nirgge:** But you have no idea what he's going to say.

 ** **Findor** : **Oh, right yea, just got a little excited.

 ** **Nirgge** :** You are the worst kind of person.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Quiet morons, we've got a situation on our hands.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Which is?

 ** **Baraggan** : **The deplorable condition of Red Base.

 ** **Nirgge** : **You're still hung up on that? We're stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a mysterious, and seemingly uninhabited jungle might I add, and you're worried about the condition of our makeshift fort?

 ** **Findor** :** Besides, I don't think our base is even that bad.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Well...I wouldn't say that.

 ** **Findor** :** What? What's wrong with it?

 **Nirgge** : Seriously? There's an enormous hole in the roof. Every night it rains, I get washed into the corner!

 _Cut to a view of Red base's hole._

 ** **Findor** : **Oh, well, yeah there's that, but I mean overall.

 ** **Baraggan** : **And the majority of the west wing is made up of sand bags and rain tarps.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Which reminds me. If we have rain tarps, why aren't we using them to cover up the hole in the roof?

 ** **Findor** :** Listen, I think you guys are blowing this whole thing a little out of proportion.

 ** **Nirgge** : **You're just saying that because you're the one that designed the base.

 ** **Findor** :** Well I did a better job than you would have done.

 ** **Baraggan** : **That's not saying much.

 ** **Nirgge** : **I bet I could at least do it in a better location.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **But this is the _best_ location. The sunlight is perfect for maintaining my vegetable garden and the faulty engine from the ship should keep us warm all winter.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **But aren't slipspace engines extremely radioactive?

 _Cut to a view of the slipspace engine._

 ** **Nirgge** : **Well that would explain why my hair keeps falling out and why all your cabbages have three heads.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **I thought I was just really good at farming.

 ** **Nirgge** : **No Findor, you're good at other things. Like always being on time, maintaining your virginity.

 _Nirgge runs towards Red base._

 ** ** **Findor**** :** _(yelling)_ Oh yeah, well we'll see who's laughing when my garden produces a bountiful crop in the coming harvest!

 ** **Nirgge** : **Glad to hear you still have that virginity on lock-down buddy.


	3. Ep 3

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Barriers to Entry!_

 _Fade in to the canyon where Rey is seen doing squats. Washington watches him._

 **Rey:** Sixty! Sixty-One! Sixty-Two! Sixty-Three! Sixty-Four! Sixty-Five! Sixty-Six! Sixty-Seven! Sixty-Eight! Sixty-Nine...

 **Washington:** Rey, you can't keep stopping on Sixty-Nine.

 ** **Rey** : **No! This time, my legs went out.

 **Washington:** ( _sighs_ ) Come on.

 ** **Rey** :** Ohhoh, Holy Christ! I haven't been this sore since that bachelorette party on Bourbon Street.

 **Washington:** You want me to believe you banged an entire bachelorette party?

 ** **Rey** :** I want you to, but really the groom just showed up and cracked three of my ribs.

 **Washington:** That's what I thought.

 ** **Rey** : **Why do we have to train so much? We never had to do squats when Skullak was in charge.

 **Washington:** Exactly. I'd say you two have fallen out of shape, but generally in order to fall out of something you have to be in it first.

 ** **Rey** :** Hey, that's funny! You should try comedy Wash. Why make one person miserable, when you can work over an entire room?

 **Washington:** Alright! Time for sprints.

 ** **Rey** : **Fuck you!

 **Washington:** I want five laps around the canyon.

 ** **Rey** : **Die in a fire.

 **Washington:** _Six_ laps, around the canyon!

 ** **Rey** :** Hey! Why isn't Di-Roy down here? Shouldn't you be making him do dumbbell rolls, or inverted push-ups or something?

 **Washington:** I think he's having one of his... off days.

 ** **Rey** :** Oh...

 _Cut to the Red base interior. Baraggan walks down a ramp and speaks to Nirgge and Findor._

 **Baraggan:** Men! It has come to my attention that we have been approching this base problem from the wrong direction.

 **Findor:** What do you mean?

 ** **Baraggan** : **I _mean_ we've been approaching it from the _outside_. What we should have been focusing on is the interior, the layout is all wrong. Upon reflection, I realized that a man of my military expertise, requires more private quarters, a place where I can reflect on my vast victories. And contemplate, on my non-existent failures.

 **Nirgge:** Is the place called denial?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Which is why I ordered Private Nirgge here to erect this new wall.

 _Findor looks around for a wall._

 ** **Findor** : **Okay, I give up.

 ** **Nirgge** :** The sandbags.

 ** **Findor** : **What?! That's the wall?

 _Findor and Nirgge approach a small pile of sandbags._

 ** **Baraggan** : **Nirgge! I asked you to give me a proper _erection_ , not to stiff me!

 ** **Findor** :** So glad Charlotte's not here.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Hey! It's not like I'm some expert carpenter or something.

 ** **Findor** : **This isn't even carpentry, this is stacking things in a straight line... poorly.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Well, it's all I could find, so build a bridge and get over it!

 ** **Findor** : **Hey Nirgge, when I build a bridge, should I use a few sandbags, or you know, something fucking useful?!

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Useful or not, I hereby declare that from this point forward, this side of the wall is to be reserved for my own personal use.

 ** **Findor** :** Wait wait wait, you get half of the base all to yourself? What about me and Nirgge?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Sorry Findor, afraid I can't hear you from the next room. These walls are just too thick!

 _Baraggan backs up from the two._

 ** ** **Findor**** : **But I-

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** : **Enjoy your new roomate! ( _chuckles_ )

 _Baragga leaves._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Ground rules, if there's a sock on the door, don't come in!

 ** ** **Findor**** :** But we don't have socks, or a door.

 ** **Nirgge** : **And I don't have an internet connection, but we've all gotta find some way to masturbate, now don't we?

 _Cut to Di-Roy looking at a mirror. Wash approaches him from behind._

 **Di-Roy** : ( _depressed_ ) Sigh. Groan. Oh, woe is me. Oh, I don't know what that even means.

 **Washington** : ( _awkwardly_ ) Still standing in the corner, Di-Roy?

 **Di-Roy** : Oh yeah, Yeah, I just... yeah, I just miss Skullak sometimes.

 **Washington** : I know you do, buddy. He was your leader for a very long time. ( _walks closer to Di-Roy_ )

 **Di-Roy** : Yeah, I am just...I, I'm just so lost without him! I... I don't even recognize my own face!

 **Washington** : ( _awkwardly_ ) Well, you don't have your old helmet anymore, Di-Roy. Also, your helmet and face are not the same thing.

 **Di-Roy** : Oh, god, that explains the blinking contest. ( _walks towards the ledge, sounding distraught_ ) Why'd ya have to tell me that? Aghh, you just made it worse.

 **Washington** : ( _walks over to Di-Roy's side_ ) Look, Di-Roy. I'm sure that somewhere out there, Skullak is thinking about how much he misses you too.

 **Di-Roy** : ( _sounding hopeful_ ) You really think so?

 _Cut to a flashback of Di-Roy, Epsilon, and Washington. Di-Roy speaks loudly over Skullak._

 **Epsilon** : Shut up. Just shut your mouth. ...Shut up. Shut up. DI-ROY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT THE FU-!

 **Di-Roy** : ( _indistinct rambling_ ) WE'LL GO ON ADVENTURES TOGETHER, WHILE WE RIDE BIKES AND SOLVE CRIMES! AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE FAIR AND THEN WE'RE GONNA DRESS UP! AND THEN WE'RE GONNA FINGERPAINT-!

 _Cut back to the present._

 **Washington** : ( _unsure_ ) Yeah. ...Why don't you go for a walk? Take a little time to clear your head.

 **Di-Roy** : Yeah. Yeah, I just... yeah, I'll go on a walk by myself, I guess. ( _starts walking away_ ) That won't be depressing at all. ( _off-screen_ ) Ohh. Oh god. I'm walking by myself now. Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh.

 **Washington** : ( _sighs_ ) What am I going to do with him? ( _spots Rey outside walking at slow pace_ ) I said _sprints_ , Private Rey!

 **Rey** : ( _while running away_ ) I'm going to spit in your next meal! And it's not going to be spit, if you know what I'm talking about!


	4. Ep 4

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Heavy Mettle!_

 _Di-Roy is seen depressingly walking across the canyon_

 **Di-Roy:** Depression. Loneliness. Confusion. Slight indigestion. Oh Skullak... Ah, I miss you so much! 'Who is supposed to be my best friend while you are gone?! Rey?! That guy isn't even a shade of blue! It's like an... aqua.

 _A sound occurs. Di-Roy looks over to the sound's direction._

 **Di-Roy** : Hello? Um... 'Who's there? Rey is that you? Agent Washington? HELLO!

 **Echo:** _HELLO!_

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Oh, that was just me, that was stupid. _(yells)_ Have a nice day!

 **Echo:** _THANKS, YOU TOO!_

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Well, I am a very pleasant person.

 _Di-Roy walks over towards the noise._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Okay, me, you can cut it out now! This is getting a little silly. _(he spots something)_ Hello...

 _Cut to Washington instructing Rey._

 **Washington:** Rey... in basic training, there is a point when the drill sergeant attempts to "break" his or her soldiers so that they may overcome their civilian mindset and focus on the responsibility and selflessness of becoming a true soldier.

 **Rey:** Uh, bro. I went through basic ages ago! True soldier, standing right here!

 **Washington:** What's the UNSC motto?

 ** **Rey** :** When in doubt, rub one out.

 **Washington:** I am going to break you... Private Rey.

 ** **Rey** : **Ooh, I'm shaking in my armor.

 **Washington:** Inside this tunnel is an elaborate obstacle course designed to test both your reflexes and your mettle.

 ** **Rey** :** Uhh... like... copper?

 **Washington:** No, that's metal. I said "mettle".

 ** **Rey** : **Whatever.

 **Washington:** On your mark... get set...

 ** **Rey** : **This is such bull...

 _Wash shoots Rey's leg._

 ** **Rey** : **SHIT OW! OKAY! I'M GOING!

 _Tey races through the obstacle course. First, he attempts to shoot down two cones positioned on the side._

 ** **Rey** : **Stupid fucking cones! _(After destroying an obstacle with his Energy Sword, he lands on a group of mines.)_ Jesus Christ! _(Runs through the_ Halo 4 _level "Reclaimer".)_ Oh god where is this coming from?! _(Emerges, somehow, in the "Warthog Run" section of the_ Halo: Combat Evolved _level "The Maw," running down Flood Combat Forms.)_ Who are these people? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! _(finally emerges from the obstacle course.)_

 **Washington:** Congratulations, Private. That time was... adequate... for a beginner.

 ** **Rey** :** ( _exhausted_ ) What was... I don't...

 **Washington:** Just an adrenaline rush Rey. It'll wear off.

 ** **Rey** :** I'm...

 **Washington:** Shaking in your armor?

 _Di-Roy is seen anxiously running by._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy... Hello, hello!

 **Washington:** Di-Roy! Glad to see you're feeling better! I've got a little exercise for you! Inside this cave is an elaborate obstacle course, designed to...

 _Di-Roy quickly races through and completes the obstacle course offscreen in about two seconds. He then leaves._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **Okay, that was fun! Gotta go do stuff! Don't ask questions! Thank you, goodbye!

 **Washington:** I think that's enough training for today.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Yeah.

 **Washington:** Uh I'm gonna go work on the Comm Tower.

 _Wash leaves._

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Yeah.

 _Cut to Red base where Nirgge is seen. Findor approaches him._

 **Findor:** Hey roomie, uh you got a second for me?

 **Nirgge:** Sup?

 ** **Findor** :** Oh, you know, not much, not much... Uh... Oh, so, question for you...

 ** **Nirgge** : **Uh huh.

 ** **Findor** : **By any chance have you seen my toothbrush?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Uhhh. I don't think so.

 ** **Findor** :** Okay Okay, you sure?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Yeah.

 ** **Findor** :** Huh 'cause I'm pretty sure I saw you with it earlier.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Dude, you're acting weird.

 ** **Findor** : **Huh... What... What do you mean?

 ** **Nirgge** :** I mean... clearly you're accusing me of using your toothbrush, but instead of just coming out and saying it you're being really passive aggressive and tiptoeing around the accusation.

 ** **Findor** : **Huh.

 ** **Nirgge** : **You did the same thing when I left the lights on and when I put my boots on your side of the room.

 ** **Findor** :** Mhmm.

 ** **Nirgge** : **And I feel that there's this constant tension growing between us that's inevitably going to erupt over what would normally be considered a small issue.

 ** **Findor** :** Yeah... Well... You know I wouldn't be asking you about my toothbrush if I hadn't seen you with it earlier.

 ** **Nirgge** : **I used your toothbrush.

 ** **Findor** :** YOU FUCK! _(Findor aims his rifle at Nirgge.)_

 ** **Nirgge** : **DUDE! What's wrong with you?!

 ** ** **Findor**** :** What's wrong with me? What's wrong with YOU?! You keep stacking dishes in the sink! I don't even think you've eaten off of some of them! For all I know, you're doing it because you're FUCKING BORED!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Wait, isn't the sink just where dishes go?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **NO! They go on the cupboard!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **We have a cupboard?!

 _Baraggan confronts the two._

 **Baraggan:** Hey! Keep it down in there! I'm trying to watch my stories!

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Sarge, please tear down the wall! I can't take Nirgge's laziness in small spaces!

 ** **Baraggan** :** I'm sorry, Findor. But we all have to make sacrifices... Except for me because I'm in charge.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Hey Findor, this probably isn't the best time to say this but, uh we're out of toilet paper.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **What?! HOW?!

 _Cut to the Blue team's tank wrapped in toilet paper. Cut back to the Reds._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** I dunno.

 **Washington:** I believe you borrowed my toolbox.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** What do you need a toolbox for?

 **Washington:** Repairing the Comm Tower. I know you three are having fun playing house, but I'd really rather leave this place.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Playing house?! Son... this is a highly- Whoops, forgot to use the door!

 **Washington:** The toolbox.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Upstairs.

 **Washington:** Show me.

 _Nirgge leads Wash to his room._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Fine... But don't touch any of my stuff!

 **Washington:** ( _off screen_ ) Ugh, this place is a pig sty.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** It's not a pig sty Wash, it's a way of life.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Hey Sarge, didn't we recover an old robot-building kit from the crash?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Sure did! Makes a great foot rest! I like to prop my feet up while I'm watching my stories.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Well, if we were to re purpose the robot's radio transmitter for the Comm Tower, we might be able to-

 ** **Baraggan** : **Findor, I'm going to have to stop you before your terrible plan becomes any more terrible.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Oh...

 ** **Baraggan** : **Fortunately, I believe we may be able to use this robot kit to build some sort of robot! We could put it to work constructing a radio transmitter and then the Comm Tower would be fixed in no time!

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Well, don't you think it would be better if-

 ** **Baraggan** : **Not at all! Let's build a robot!

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** I hate them.

 **Washington:** ( _off screen_ ) Are those my socks?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **( _off screen_ ) Yeah... but you probably don't want those back.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** I hate all of them.


	5. Ep 5

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _A Real Fixer Uppe!_

 _Fade in, revealing Rey and Wash working on the comm tower._

 **Rey:** I'm just sayin' I feel like somebody should have found us by now.

 **Washington:** Hm?

 ** **Rey** :** You know, it's like if a plane crashes and disappears that's fine, civilians, whatever.

 **Washington:** Not sure if I agree with you on that.

 ** **Rey** : **But this was a fucking spaceship. That's like national tragedy level important.

 **Washington:** It was a big ship.

 ** **Rey** :** And what about GPS? The Galactic Positioning System should have been able to inform Command of our location within seconds of a mayday.

 **Washington:** How... do you know that?

 ** **Rey** :** Uh...

 _Cut to inside the spaceship, before the crash._

 **Spaceship Operator:** The Galactic Positioning System would be able to inform Command of our location within seconds of a mayday, so even the ship _were_ to crash rescue would be practically immediate. Isn't it that rad?

 ** **Rey** : **Cool, nerd stuff. Hey, is it just me or is that blonde over there checking me out?

 **Spaceship Operator:** Who? The pilot?

 ** **Rey** : **Yeah she's definitely checking me out.

 _Rey walks over to the pilot._

 **Spaceship Operator:** Wait! You can't go over there!

 ** **Rey** :** Hey baby, I hear you're a pilot. Think you could pull up on my throttle? Bow chicka bow wow.

 _Alarms and red lights go off. Cut back to the canyon._

 ** **Rey** :** I read it in a book?

 **Washington:** I don't believe you. _(returns to work on the comm tower)_ Then again, I don't really care.

 ** **Rey** :** Phew...

 **Washington:** _(straightening up again)_ Hey.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh-oh what? Nothing.

 **Washington:** What happened to my soldering iron?

 ** **Rey** : **Ooh I don't know.

 **Washington:** Dammit. This would be going so much faster if I didn't have to keep tracking down equipment evey five minutes.

 ** **Rey** : **What,you think the Reds took it?

 _Wash cocks a shotgun and imitates Baraggan._

 **Washington:** Men, it appears our shitty fortifications aren't meeting my ridiculous standards! Let's steal Washington's tank and fire at our walls! That'll fix it.

 ** **Rey** :** ...

 **Washington:** Yes, I think the Reds took it.

 ** **Rey** : **Man, why are you so wound up all the time?

 **Washington:** Because every second we're here is another second closer to death. Or worse.

 ** **Rey** : **What's worse than death?

 **Washington:** I don't know. I just thought it sounded dramatic.

 ** **Rey** : **Come on, it's not _that_ bad. I mean, if we were back in Blood Gulch, we'd be doing the exact same shit, you know.

 **Washington:** There's just something about this place. I can't help but feel like we're being watched.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh please. People get that feeling all the time.I had it for years.

 **Washington:** But that's because you _were_ being watched! You were monitored by a secret organization for every second of every day.

 ** **Rey** : **Well, I don't feel like I'm being watched now.

 **Washington:** Thank you. I feel much more secure.

 ** **Rey** : **Don't be a dick.

 **Washington:** Then don't be an idiot.

 ** **Rey** :** The fuck is your problem?

 **Washington:** My problem is that you're absolutely right. Somebody should've found us by now. Now where the hell is that goddamn soddering iron?

 _Cut to Di-Roy crouched in the dark._

 **Di-Roy:** Boy you're lucky I came by. What is a little fella like you doin' way out here?

 _The sound of something cracking happens._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Hey... no moving. Have to get you out of here first. Don't worry... we're gonna be best friends.

 _Cut to the Reds._

 **Findor:** You're an idiot.

 **Nirgge:** Am I Findor, or am I just a man who's willing to ask the hard questions?

 ** **Findor** :** You're definitely an idiot.

 **Baraggan:** You're both idiots. Now keep it down, I'm tryin' to focus.

 _Baraggan is working on the robot._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Terminator, The Matrix, Battlestar Galactica, everything points to robot domination of the human race!

 ** **Findor** :** Well technically some Cylons relied more on synthetic biology and not conventional robotics, but that was only in the series reboot. And you know those are pretty rare.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Fine, then Wall-E. It doesn't matter. I just think it's strange that we're not already bowing down to our robot overlords.

 ** **Findor** :** I'm a cyborg, you wanna bow down to me?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Pass.

 ** **Findor** : **( _robotic voice_ ) Fuck you meatsack, your logic is flawed.

 ** **Nirgge** :** You are the biggest fucking nerd. You know that right, I mean you really know that?

 ** **Findor** :** ( _robotic voice_ ) You must construct additional pylons. Rrr-wrr-rrr

 ** **Baraggan** :** Well Optimus Prime's knuckle, I think we're in business.

 _The robot stands up straight._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Ladies, I would like to introduce you to the newest addition to Red Team.

 ** **Findor** :** Can it, talk?

 **Robot:** ( _caption_ ) Hello.

 ** **Findor** :** You've got to be kidding!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh come on!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Huh. That is an unfortunate coincidence.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Spanish. Why is it fucking Spanish? Why not French, or German, or Sangheili?

 **Robot:** ( _caption_ ) I'm sorry. Does my language choice not please you? My system settings are currently set to Spanish.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Heh heh, you know, it almost feels like the good ol' days. Just me, a Spanish-speaking robot, and a couple of complete idiots.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** You're talking about Nirgge and Charlotte, right?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Thanks dickhead.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Dordoni Dos-Point-O, it's good to have you aboard.

 **Dordoni 2.0:** ( _caption_ ) Thank you, master. It's my duty to-

 ** **Baraggan** :** Now get to work, slacker!

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** ( _caption_ ) Excuse me?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Comm tower. Middle of the canyon. Repairo, los rapido.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** It's Spanish Sarge, not Harry Potter.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: **_(caption)_ It sounds as if you have some equipment that's in need of repair. Is that correct?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Hm. He's not doing anything.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Maybe he's stupid.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Robot! Do you, understand, us? Comprehende?

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** Sí _._

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Well, he knows what we're saying, so I guess he's just stupid.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: **_(caption)_ I can assure you I am performing at an above average-

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Uh, poor stupid Dordoni Dos-Point-O. Well, let's just take him over to the comm tower.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Why? He's a moron.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Yep, but maybe he'll end up being like a Rainman-type moron. We could get him one of those grey suits.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(caption)_ I will do my best to serve you.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Hh, what a shame.


	6. Ep 6

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _S.O.S.!_

 _A machine whirs from within the cavern and noises arise in the background. Di-Roy can also be heard._

 **Di-Roy:** It's alive. It's alive! He's ali- Aw, now it's dead. _(short pause)_ No, it's alive again! Oh, thank God that was close.

 _Cut to black. Fade in and pan to a shot of Rey and Washington repairing on the comm tower._

 **Rey:** Ok, how about now?

 **Washington:** ( _hits radio twice_ ) Nothing.

 ** **Rey** : **Hold on. ( _short pause_ ) Ok, try it again.

 **Washington:** ( _hits radio_ ) Still nothing.

 ** **Rey** : **Balls.

 **Washington:** Hey, what exactly are you doing down there?

 ** **Rey** : **Oh, you know... Calibrating.

 **Washington:**...Calibrating.

 ** **Rey** : **Yeah.

 **Washington:**...You haven't done anything, have you?

 ** **Rey** : **Dude, I don't know what I'm doing or why you sent me down here.

 **Washington:** Right. Guess I should have expected that.

 ** **Rey** : **Hey Wash, I think we got a situation.

 **Washington:** What kind of- _(looks down and sees Red Team_ ) ...Oh.

 **Nirgge:** Good to see you too.

 **Washington:** What do you want?

 **Baraggan:** Figured it be a good idea to come over and lend a hand.

 **Washington:** No, that's a terrible idea. Please don't touch anything.

 **Findor:** But we could provide tech support!

 ** **Baraggan** : **Have you tried using any D batteries?

 **Washington:** Power isn't our problem. These battery arrays are solar.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Well, there's your problem. This baby needs to be converted to diesel on the pronto!

 **Washington:** Solar is field-standard for communication systems.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Well ooh-la-la, Private Hippy! Hey, I got an idea; why don't we just plant a garden in? Grow some organic sun-dried tomatoes, and open a farmer's market. Then on the first Saturday of the month, when the UNSC ships show up to buy some fresh sustainable produce, we just hop on board and ride back on the power of love!

 **Washington:**...Rey, if they touch anything, or if he makes any more suggestions, prod them with your sword.

 **Rey:** Ha ha, now that's something I can get behind! Bowchickaboww- Wait, no! No no no no no!

 ** **Baraggan** : **Fine, well I guess you don't want any help from our incredibly advanced robotic companion. ( _beckons to Dordoni 2.0_ )

 **Dordoni 2.0:** ( _caption_ ) Hello.

 **Washington:** Nope!

 _In the background._

 ** **Nirgge** : **Racist!

 _In the foreground._

 ** **Baraggan** : **Hey tree-hugger, what if I told you it runs on recycled cooking grease? It's perfect. Nirgge sweats the stuff.

 ** **Nirgge** : **What else was I supposed to drink once we ran out of soda?

 ** **Findor** : **There's always water.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Please, what are we, cavemen?

 **Washington:** I said no.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** ( _caption_ ) Are you sure you don't want help? This looks like a relatively simple fix.

 ** **Rey** : **Whoa, is that Dordoni?!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Not exactly. ( _whispers_ ) This one isn't very smart.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** ( _caption_ ) Seriously guys, I'm looking at the problem. I can fix it right now.

 ** **Rey** : **How can you tell?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Oh, a mother knows.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** ( _caption_ ) Okay, if no one is going to stop me, I'm going to fix your radio tower.

 _Dordoni 2.0 walks towards the base of the comm tower._

 **Washington:** Why don't you three go check on our food supply? It's been a while since I've done a full inventory.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **You can't shove your bitch work on us! What do we look like?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Uhhhh... Bitches?

 **Wash:** Rey, I want 100 squats.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** What? But it was leg day yesterday!

 **Wash:** You are a space marine, private. Everyday is leg day.

 _After a moment of doubt, Rey starts doing squats._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** This is bullshit.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Ha! Who is the bitch now?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Your sister was my bitch if I remember correctly.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** What did you say to me, bitch?

 **Wash:** No one is a bitch, now both of you be quiet.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** ... Findor is kind of a bitch.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Hey! What the fuck?!

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Ah, can it Private Bitch.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **_(sulks)_ Yes, sir.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** and ************Nirgge******** :** Bitch.

 **Washington:** I said be quiet!

 _Wash punches the radio box. The radio tunes up._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Holy shit.

 **Washington:** It's working. I-I dont know what I did but it's working!

 _Dordoni 2.0 emerges from under the comm tower._

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** _(caption)_ : Comrades! I have repaired the radio tower! Are you pleased with my performance?

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** :** Dordoni, you're ruining the moment.

 **Washington:** Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington, can anyone read me? Over.

 _No response._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **... Maybe they're screening our calls.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** What do mean "they"? Who's "they"?

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **I dunno, people who know us?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** What?

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Look, I wouldn't pick up the phone if any of you fuckers called me.

 **Washington:** Mayday, mayday, we are survivors of a shipwreck, and are in need of immediate rescue, please respond.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Don't call them back right away, you gotta wait, or else you'll look desperate.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** But we are desperate!

 **Washington:** EVERYONE SHUT UP!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Woah...

 **Washington:** Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington and the red and blue troopers of Project Freelancer! We are stranded, does anyone copy?

 _No response._

 **Washington:** Mayday, this is Agent Washington, I am a soldier.

 _No response._

 **Washington:** Is anybody out there?

 _No response._

 **Washington:** Can anybody hear me?!

 _A voice can faintly be heard on the radio._

 **Voice:**... Hello? is someone there?

 **Washington:** Yes! Yes, we're here! Do you read us?

 **Voice:**...Hello...is this...prank call...

 **Washington:** No no no no, this is real, please you have to listen to me! My men and I are shipwrecked!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************** : Its an emergency!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **Black Hawk down!

 **Baraggan:** Code Red!

 **Voice:** What? Like a lightish red?

 _Everyone pause_ s _for a short moment taking in what the voice just said._

 **Rey:** What the fuck did he just say?

 **Voice:** Cause I mean, red is a pretty broad spectrum. There's scarlet, vermilion, like a deep burgundy.

 _Baraggan approaches the radio._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Charlotte, Is that you?!

 **Charlotte:** Sarge? Oh hey guys, what have you all been up to?

 ** **Baraggan** :** We're stranded in the middle of the jungle with dwindling food and limited supplies.

 ** **Charlotte** :** That sucks.

 _In the background._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** No shit, dickhead!

 _In the foreground._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Charlotte, I need you to listen to me. You need to send help. Call command.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** Command? I think I know a guy if you want to turn this call into a three way.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** No...Don't do that. I need you to write down these coordinates

 _Washington turns to talk to the Reds._

 **Washington:** Who is Charlotte again?

 **Findor:** Cheery guy. Pink armor.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** Kind of stupid.

 ** **Rey** :** And a little-

 **Washington:** Wait, did I shoot him once?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** Bingo.

 **Washington:** Got it. And he's competent enough to trust with our lives?

 _Cut to Baraggan and the radio._

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** :** Sorry, did you say 'five' or 'nine'?

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** I said eight.

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** :** Oh.

 _Cut back to Washington._

 **Washington:** Right...

 _Washington walks back over to Baraggan._

 **Washington:** Okay, Charlotte, those are our last known coordinates but be sure to let the rescue team know that we've got no clue where we actually landed.

 ** ** ** ** **Charlotte******** :** Don't worry guys! No matter how deep the bush, Private Charlotte always finds his man.

 _Baraggan and Washington both look at each other nervously._

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** :** Roger that son.

 _Radio static cuts in._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Charlotte********** :** What was that? Your breaking up.

 **Washington:** Just send help as fast as you can.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Charlotte************ :** Okey dokey!

 _The radio loses connection and everyone goes quiet._

 **Nirgge:** So, what happened?

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** :** Well boys, I don't want to jinx us or anything like that but... we're gonna be rescued!

 _The Reds and Blues start cheering while Washington looks over from the Comm tower_.

 _In the background_.

 **Findor:** I can't wait to eat a hot dog!

 _In the foreground_.

 **Washington:** Now guys-

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** Theres no possible way anything can go wrong! Everything is going to be good forever!

 _The group are still celebrating._

 **Washington:** Guys, it can still be a few days before they-

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** Lets eat all the food rations tonight and then fire all of our excess ammunition indiscriminately into the air and celebrate!

 _The group are still cheering and are shooting their guns in the air_.

 ** **Findor** :** Then lets fix up that old Warthog that's been hanging near our base!

 _The group are still cheering then realize what's been said and quiet down with confusion._

 ** **Findor** :** So we can crash it into the other Warthog because 'fuck it'!

 _The group continue cheering._

 **Washington:** Listen, lets not get our hopes up just yet.

 **Rey:** Aw, come on Wash. Lighten up. We did it, we made contact.

 **Washington:** Well, it is the first good news that we've had in awhile.

 _Di-Roy runs over to the group._

 **Di-Roy:** Hey everyone!

 **Washington:** Di-Roy! Where've you been?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, I went on a walk like you said and now, everything is going to be good, forever!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************ :** Told ya' so!

 **Washington:** Wait, Di-Roy, you were miserable, what happened?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Oh, where are my manners? I haven't even introduced him

 **Washington:** Introduced who?...

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **FRECKLES! COME! _(whistling)_

 _A huge machine starts walking towards the group, while they stand silently watching the machine come over_.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** EVERYONE, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET FRECKLES! FRECKLES, say hello.

 **Freckles:** Enemy soldiers detected.

 _Freckles takes aim at Nirgge and Findor._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** No, those aren't enemies, Freckles. Those are Nirgge and Findor... our enemy.

 **Freckles:** Firing main cannons.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** No! Bad Freckles! Down!

 **Freckles:** Yes, Master.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Bad Freckles...

 _Di-Roy turns back to the others._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** So, what have you guys been up to?

 **Nirgge:** Ehh...umm...

 _Fades into a murky, misty forest where Washingtons distress signal can be heard playing._

 **Washington _:_** _Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington and the red and blue troopers of Project Freelancer, we are stranded, does anyone copy?_

 _No response._

 **Washington _:_** _Mayday, this is Agent Washington, I am a soldier._

 _A unknown solider is seen listening to the distress signal._

 **Washington _:_** _Is anybody out there?_

 _No response._

 **Washington _:_** _Can anybody hear me?_

 _The solider turns slowly and the screen blacks out before his visor is fully seen._


	7. Ep 7

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Can I Keep It?_

 _Shows Rey and Washington talking to Di-Roy and Freckles._

 **Rey:** So...

 _Freckles turns towards Rey._

 ** **Rey** : **Nevermind.

 **Washington:** Di-Roy...

 _Freckles turns towards Wash._

 **Washington:** Tell me again, where did you find this...robot?

 **Di-Roy:** His name is Freckles.

 ** **Rey** :** That's a stupid name.

 _Freckles turns guns back at Rey._

 ** **Rey** : **Stupid-cool I mean! Great name, I mean, I wish that were my name. Yeah, Freckles is the best name ever that there ever was.

 **Washington:** Technically it's a Mantis class military assault droid.

 ** **Rey** :** Wait, why Mantis?

 **Washington:** Well you see those legs? They kinda resemble the legs of a praying mantis.

 ** **Rey** :** No they don't.

 **Washington:** Then maybe it's the head shape?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah maybe its because during the act of procreation they rip off the head of their mates body and devour it. It's like an act of sexual cannibalism.

 **Washington:** Eww...What?!

 ** **Rey** :** Eh, I've dated worse.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, I call him Freckles because of the spots on his nose.

 ** **Rey** :** Well shit, I actually have to give it to Di-Roy on this one. Robot definitely looks more like a 'Freckles' than a 'Mantis'.

 **Washington:** Fine. Where did you find... Freckles?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Well I was walking and I was sad and I missed Skullak-

 ** **Rey** :** This is the greatest story of our generation.

 **Washington:** Quiet.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** And then I heard a noise-

 ** **Rey** :** Seriously, It's like I was there.

 **Washington:** Rey.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah and then I saw the little guy under like pieces of rock and space ship and body parts, but I just moved them out of the way and then there he was and now we're best friends forever! Right Freckles?

 **Freckles:** Affirmative, Di-Roy.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Great. Boy meets dog. Dog turns out to be a military-grade killing machine from a crashed spaceship.

 **Washington:** Di-Roy... Um, you know, a pet is a lot of responsiblitlity.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** That is why I will water him and I will feed him every day.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Water and feed? What the hell does this thing run on?!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** It runs on the power of the friendship of our love!

 ** ** **Rey**** : **This is so fucked up!

 **Washington:** Didn't you give birth to a baby alien a few years back?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Whoa, let's not bring family into this.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** So, what fun adventures are we going to go on today, Freckles?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Ha I'm not doing shit! We're getting rescued soon, remember?

 **Washington:** Actually, I think it would be smart if we continued with our training routine.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **What?! Why? There's no point.

 **Washington:** Training is an on going process, Rey, and as the leader of this team, I want to make sure that we're ready for anything.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** This is fucking stupid. Nothing has happened since we crashed here.

 **Washington:** Well, you never know if someone or something will attack. So stop complaining and start jogging.

 _Washington begins to walk off._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** And where are you going?

 **Washington:** I'm heading up to the ship. Someone needs to do an inventory of our food supplies. I prefer it be someone who can count.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** I only screwed up twice.

 **Washington:** You screwed up once.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Yeah, I don't see your point.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** So you're just gonna leave me with them?

 _Washington begins to walk off again._

 **Washington:** Five laps gentlemen. Rey, make sure you count for Di-Roy.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Pff, yeah right.

 **Freckles:** Disregarding a direct order from a commanding officer is punishable by death.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** What? Since when?

 **Freckles:** Target locked.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** God damn it. Okay I'm going.

 _Rey runs off._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **And who wants to go outside?! Who wants to go outside?!

 _No response._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **Who wants to go outside?! Freckles, do you want to go outside?!Outside! Who wants to go outside?! Do I want to go outside? Why do I want to go outside? Lets all go outside!

 _Background changes to outdoors._

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** :** Oh my god we're here!

 _Sniper rifle is zooming in on Di-Roy and Freckles._

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** :** I'm really good at this game!

 _Baraggan lowers his sniper rifle._

 **Baraggan:** Heh..Those backstabbers...

 _Cut to Nirgge standing alone outside the base with Findor approaching him._

 **Findor:** Hey asshole, would it kill you to take out the trash for once?

 **Nirgge:** Findor, I've been thinking.

 ** **Findor** :** I don't care! Take out the fucking trash!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Why do we carry our guns?

 ** **Findor** :** What?!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Our guns. Why do we carry them?

 ** **Findor** :** Because we're soldiers.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Yeah, but we're not really fighting anybody, are we?

 ** **Findor** : **Well yeah but, you never know when we could be attacked!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Attacked by who? The Blues?

 ** **Findor** :** Um...

 ** **Nirgge** :** We haven't fought a single god damn enemy since arriving in this canyon, and yet here we are walking around in full body armor with a rifle in our hands like the fucking galaxy is about to attack us any second.

 ** **Findor** :** What's your point?

 ** **Nirgge** : **My point is, why don't we ever just walk around without our guns?

 _Long pause._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Do it!

 ** **Findor** :** What?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Drop your gun!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **No!

 ** **Nirgge** : **Why not?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** I don't want to!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **You don't want to? Or you can't?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Um...um...I'm going back inside.

 _Findor runs off to the base._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** And thus Nirgge Parduoc single handedly avoids trash duty for a second day in a row. Hoo-rah

 _In the background._

 **Baraggan:** Men! Fall in! Double time! This is not a drill!

 _In the foreground._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** What the hell?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** I knew there was a reason why we were armed!

 _Cut to Nirgge and Findor running over to Baraggan._

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Sarge, what's wrong?

 ** **Baraggan** : **What's wrong? What's wrong?! How bout' scheming, training, canarving, commiserating, colluding. Take your pick! Also, building a giant robot. Those Blues are up to no-good!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** And here I was thinking something important was about to happen.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** But sir, didn't _we_ build a robot first?

 **Dordoni 2.0:** You guys talking about me?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Dordoni 2.0 doesn't count. He's about as useful as a box full of Nirgges.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Hey! I'm offended.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** Oh... Okay.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Men, I know we have considered the Blues to be our quote "allies" unquote for some time now, but we have to look at the facts.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** What facts?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Number one: they now possess a tank on legs that's capable of killing us all.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Okay...

 ** **Baraggan**** : And number two is that we didn't have our own Number one first! Clearly this is a conspiracy.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** So, what do you expect us to do about it?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** I need you boys to conduct some reconnaissance. Secure intel. get deep in Charlie's bush. Initiate Delta force! Tango and Cash!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Are these orders or 80's action movies?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Find out exactly what those pesky blues are up to.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **You mean go over there? Near that monster?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **See! This is exactly the robot overlord shit I was talking about! If only someone had listened!

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **It will be dangerous, but I have confidence that at least one of you will survive! _(pause) Findor_.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Why aren't you comming?

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** : **We have a major breach in security! One of the bags in my wall tore open and now there's sand all over the place.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **I can see how that might take priority.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** : **_(sigh)_ It is likely that we will never recover, there are just so many tiny crevasses!

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Sarge, please! I don't wanna upset the Mantis!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **What's a Mantis?

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **The giant robot!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Ah... Why is it called that?

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **I don't know, 'cause it's green? That's not the point!

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** : **Well that's not a very good reason to call it a Mantis.

 **Dordoni 2.0:** Perhaps they call it Mantis because it has an advanced camouflage system that it uses to ensnare enemies.

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** : **Whatever dum-dum. Can't you see we are talking strategy!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Stupid new Dordoni!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **Look the Blues are no more dangerous than this idiot.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** Hey... come on guys. Cut it out.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **But that robot could flatten us in an instant.

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** : **You raise an excelant point Findor.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **I do?

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** : **Yep, so you better not get spotted while you're out there.

 _Nirgge starts walking._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **Uhh... let's just get this over with.

 _View of Nirgge and Findor walking to the Blue base._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ : **But I'm telling you the Blues aren't up to anything.

 _Cut to view inside the ship where Wash is walking past a corridor where a sign written: "FOOD REFRIGERATION/ STORAGE" can be seen._

 **Washington:** Alright... change of plans.


	8. Ep 8

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _The Grass is Greener. The Blues are Bluer!  
_

 _Freckles and Di-Roy are seen standing next to each other. Di-Roy squats down._

 **Di-Roy:** No, Freckles, no, Freckles, go down. Like this!

 _Freckles and Di-roy both squat down._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yes, that's a good Freckles! Yes, yes. Rey! Rey did you see that!? Freckles did a squat!

 _Rey does squats in the foreground._

 **Rey:** Great. Now teach him to fetch, and then throw a stick off a cliff.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Oh, he knows how to fetch. Freckles! Freckles, get the ball!

 _Di-Roy throws a ball._

 **Freckles:** Acquiring target.

 _Freckles aims for and shoots the ball._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Uhm, see that - that was just - that was just poor phrasing on my part. Really. I mean I was just, I think I was just grammatically... It was grammatically incorrect. So...

 _Nirgge and Findor creep up behind a rock to spy on the Blues._

 **Nirgge:** Alright, we made it!

 **Findor:** Yeah. So, uh, what do we do now?

 ** **Nirgge** : **I guess we just... watch 'em?

 ** **Findor** :** So... this is a waste of time right. I mean they're not actually plotting anything.

 ** **Nirgge** : **I don't know, man, but watching two dudes exercise is making me feel really weird.

 ** **Findor** : **Ugh, this isn't getting us anywhere.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Well, then why don't you just ask them what they're up to?

 ** **Findor** : **What? And blow our cover!?

 ** **Nirgge** : **What do we look like? Seal Team Six? Who gives a shit, dude? You already said they're not up to anything.

 ** **Findor** : **But what about the robot?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Oh yeah...

 ** **Findor** : **See? We need to strategize.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Okay, fine, how do we want to do this?

 ** **Findor** : **Oh! We could do like a sort of good cop/bad cop thing.

 ** **Nirgge** :** What if we act casual? Like we're just shootin' the shit or something?

 ** **Findor** : **Maybe, if we go in, guns blazing, we can intimidate them into giving us what we want.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Wait... what do we want?

 ** **Findor** : **... I don't know.

 _Rey appears beside the two crouching Reds._

 **Rey:** Hey!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Gah!

 ** **Rey** : **What are you doing?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Alright! Listen, Rey! I'm willing to hear you out, but my partner is crazy! I can't hold him back!

 ** **Rey** : **What?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **I mean, hey, what's up? How's the weather? No, wait, I mean, tell me what you know!

 _Findor cocks his gun and points it at Rey._

 ** ** **Findor**** : **I'm sorry...

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **That's some solid detective work there, Officer Findor.

 ** **Rey** : **Yeahhh, so if you guys could not watch us work out, that'd be great, 'cause it's a little weird.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **It's really weird!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Sarge ordered us to come spy on you. He think's you're up to something!

 ** **Rey** : **Dude, the only thing I've done today is exercise.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Sigh, you poor tortured soul.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **What are you training for?

 ** **Rey** : **Fuck if I know! Every day it's the same thing. Wake up, run drills, clean the base, run drills, maintain order, run drills. I have glamorous calves and a miserable fucking life! Can we please stop running drills!?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **I had calves once... Way more tender than a regular cow. You can taste the youth.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Wash makes you clean the base?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **And our equipment, and our vehicles. The guy's obsessed with rules and order!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Ew, could you imagine having to deal with someone like that?

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Rules and order...

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **I know, right? He's even got an "organizational chart".

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Ahhh.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Pssh, what a loser.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Uhh... Yeah hmmm, well uh, that all sounds very interesting. Rey, but I think I need to see this for myself.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **What?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **What?

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Oh, you know... I just want to make sure his story checks out. Inspect the base and stick around for a few days.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Checks out? What are you going to find inside that we can't already see? The thing is completely exposed! It's empty! It's clean, dude!

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Ahh, clean...

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Are you sure you want to hang around? Wash might make you run his obstacle course or something.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Yeah, Sarge made us do that too.

 _Flashback to Nirgge and Baraggan at the obstacle course with Nirgge at the starting line and Baraggan holding a pistol._

 **Baraggan:** On your mark, get set...

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **This is such bullsh-

 _Baraggan shoots Nirgge._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Ow! Why!?

 ** **Baraggan** : **New record!

 _Cut back to Nirgge, Findor, and Rey._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Sometimes when I sneeze, buckshot comes out.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Look, just let me hang out for a few days! I'll be cool. I swear!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Don't lie to the man's face.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** : **Whatever, dude. Just remember, I warned you.

 _Rey walks off._

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Well, Nirgge, I guess this is goodbye.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Wait, how long are you planning on being gone?

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Untill the job's done, I guess.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **And you're sure you'd rather be near the Blues and their giant killer fucking robot, instead of just coming back to base?

 _Flashback to Findor standing at Red Base. Nirgge walks in._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Hey, I think I broke the urinal in the laundry room.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **We don't have a urinal in the laundry room.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Oh...

 _Nirgge walks back off. End flashback._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **Yes. I'm sure.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Whatever, your funeral. Just remember, if a robot ever corners you, just stick him with a magnet.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **Computers haven't been affected by magnets since the 20th century!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Which is exactly what they want you to think.

 _Nirgge walks off._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **Ahhh... Finally... A place I can call home.

 _Cut to Di-Roy and Freckles._

 **Di-Roy:** Alright, Freckles... Fetch!

 _Di-Roy throws a ball, which lands near Findor._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **Hey, Di-Roy! You dropped your ball!

 **Freckles:** Acquiring target.

 _Sound of gunfire and explosions._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **Ahhh! What did I do?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Uh, yeah, sorry, yeah, we're still working on that one! ...Can we have our ball back?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **I can't. Sarge says I throw like a girl.


	9. Ep 9

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _A House Divided, Then Multiplied!  
_

 _Fades out to a view of Nirgge running down towards Dordoni._

 **Nirgge:** Hey, where's Sarge?

 **Dordoni 2.0** : _(translated English)_ Why are you asking me? You don't speak Spanish.

 _Cut to a view of Baraggan heading towards the duo_.

 **Baraggan:** Private Nirgge. I see you've returned from your reconnaisance mission unscathed. That's disappointing. Unacceptable.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(translated English)_ Man... What is this guy's beef with you?

 ** **Baraggan** :** So, what information have you recovered?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Uh, that the Blues aren't up to anything and that you're a paranoid old man bordering on senility.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Uh huh. I'll take that into consideration Private. But how about we hear from our more competent soldier? ...Findor?

 ** **Nirgge** :** He's with the Blues.

 ** **Baraggan** :** With- the Blues?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Yeah. He seemed really eager to stay at their base for some reason.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Huhh. Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time.

 ** **Nirgge** :** A matter of time?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Yep. I knew this day would come.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Really? You knew Findor would eventually wanna leave the Red Team?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Leave Red Team? Nirgge, are you even paying attention?

 ** **Nirgge** : **I mean, not really, I just th- I'd-

 ** **Baraggan** :** First they build a giant robot. Then they capture my second in command. It's just as I had predicted! The enemy has finally shown its true colours! And that colour is pound zero zero zero eff eff!

 ** **Nirgge** :** What?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Blue! Blue! It's Red vs. Blue all over again!

 ** **Nirgge** :** No, Sarge, they didn't capture him-

 ** **Baraggan** :** Can you believe it? Posing as our allies only to stab us in the back years after our conflict, had seemingly ended! They've pulled off the most elaborate ruse in the history of simulated military combat.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **I don't-

 ** **Baraggan** :** I mean really! How far back did they start planning this thing?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** You're not listening!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Like, did they know about all the Freelancers from the beginning?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Sarge.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** And what about Skullak? For years they told us he was a ghost, but then he was an ancient artifact or something and there were aliens involved I don't know. Sometimes I wonder just how deep this rabbit hole goes.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Stop.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** It's almost like all of this is some sort of sick game!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** ...This conversation is starting to get a little meta.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** You're right. You think he was in on it too?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** I think you're jumping to conclusions.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **And I conclude you need to shut your mouth and move your feet!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** What are you gonna do?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** We, are going to do the Reds' signature Blood Gulch maneuver.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Huhhh, oh no.

 **Dordoni 2.0:** ( _translated English_ ) It makes me happy knowing you're ignored just as much as I am around here.

 _Cut to Di-Roy, Rey and Freckles outside._

 **Di-Roy:** Okay Freckles, roll over!

 _Freckles rotates 360 degrees at the waist._

 **Freckles:** Objective complete.

 **Rey:** That's cheating.

 **Findor:** Hey Rey!

 ** **Rey** :** What!

 ** **Findor** : **Do you have any idea when Wash is getting back? I have some suggestions regarding the upkeep of Blue Base.

 ** **Rey** :** I don't know and I don't care!

 ** **Findor** :** Well I got two words for you buddy: chore wheel.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **And I've got two words for you. How 'bout fuck off?

 ** **Findor** :** Just think about it. Wheel of chores.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** I hate my life.

 **Washington:** Rey!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** You know what, I take it back, I hate everyone else's lives. Wish they didn't have 'em. Oh my God, am I turning into Skullak?

 **Washington:** Why aren't you running drills?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** How do you know I didn't already finish them?

 **Washington:** Because you're not on the ground complaining about irritated nipples.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** I'm telling you, my chest piece rubs right up against them. And not in a good way.

 **Washington:** Why do you refuse to take these things seriously?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Why can't you just let us do our thing?

 **Washington:** I'm trying to make sure you're the best. That you're ready for anything.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Why? Blue Team was just fine with being mediocre until you came along. What the fuck are you worried about?

 **Washington:** It's just a feeling I, can't explain it.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Really? 'Cause I bet I can. You're a paranoid, ex-special ops guy who's used to being betrayed on a weekly basis. Not much of a riddle Wash. Hey, next do you want to figure out the mystery of why Di-Roy isn't the team treasurer?

 **Washington:** Oh, so we're going there.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Oh-hoho bitch I already went there, and I took pictures.

 **Di-Roy:** Ooooh grrrrl.

 **Washington:** Well I can't say I'm surprised, Lavernius. You just always have to get the last laugh, mister quick-witted, mister sarcastic. If you spent as much time training as you do mouthing off, you could probably beat Freckles at arm wrestling.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Don't be stupid! Freckles doesn't have arms, he has guns.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** And, paws! Freckles shake!

 _Freckles lifts up one foot and takes a step forward, shaking the ground._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Get it! He shakes! It's awesome!

 ** ** ** **Rey****** and Washington:** Di-Roy!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, yeah we're still working on it.

 **Findor:** Oh, hey Wash, I didn't know you were back.

 **Washington:** What is... why is he here?

 ** **Findor** :** I took the liberty of claiming the bunk closest to you. I hope you don't mind.

 **Washington:** I don't have time to deal with you right now, go away.

 ** **Findor** :** Eh heh, good one Sir. Oh hey by the way, is it cool if I start calling you Sir?

 **Washington:** Why is he still here?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Beats me. If I was him, I'd be as far away from this base as possible.

 ** **Findor** :** You can call me Champ if you want. Or you know... son.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Just ignore him.

 ** **Findor** : **Or Sir Junior.

 _Cut to a view through a sniper scope._

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** We don't need you protecting us.

 **Washington:** I know, that's why I'm trying to help you.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Help us with what, defending against attack? No-one is going to attack us!

 **Baraggan:** Attack!

 _Nirgge and Baraggan drive over a hill directly into a boulder._

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Dammit Nirgge, you forgot our theme music.

 **Nirgge:** Oh, right.

 _Nirgge turns on the radio._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Ah forget it moment's passed.

 **Freckles:** Enemy soldiers detected.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **Uh... good Freckles... No murdering everyone.

 _The group form a standoff._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Uh, I would just like to take this opportunity to point out, that this, was not my idea. Whatsoever, at all.


	10. Ep 10

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Long Live the King!  
_

 **Washington** : Look, as long as I'm leader of this team, I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety whether you like it or not.

 **Rey** : We don't need you protecting us!

 **Washington** : I know! That's why I'm trying to help you.

 **Rey** : Help us with what? Defending against attack? No one is going to attack us!

 **Baraggan** : ATTACK!

 _Cut to Baraggan and Nirgge in the Warthog driving toward them._

 **Rey** : You have literally the worst timing.

 **Baraggan** : Stow it, thin mint. We're no longer fraternizing with the enemy.

 **Rey** : "Thin mint"?

 **Nirgge** : Now see, when he says "we" imagine he's only referring to himself. Do not group us together.

 **Rey** : Bitch, my armor's aqua! I think.

 **Washington** : What the hell are you two doing?

 **Nirgge** : Uh, again, not "two," just him. I can't stress this enough.

 **Baraggan** : You made me believe that Reds and Blues can coexist, and we can work together as one people, and that we can all get together and be...a little... _purple_.

 **Washington** : We can! We are! Seriously, what the fuck is this about?

 **Baraggan** : You kidnapped one of my men!

 **Findor** : Who? Me?

 **Rey** : He wasn't kidnapped, dipshit, he came over here by himself! We can't get him to leave.

 **Baraggan** : Is this true, Findor?

 **Findor** : It's not your fault, sir. It's Nirgges.

 **Nirgge** : What did I do?

 **Findor** : You're fucking disgusting, Nirgge!

 **Nirgge** : Well, yeah. But I've always been like that. Sarge was the one that decided to take half the base for himself.

 **Findor** : Oh. Then I guess it is your fault, sir.

 **Baraggan** : Then that makes you a traitor!

 **Findor** : What?

 **Freckles** : Threat level increased.

 **Di-Roy** : Uh, yeah, no reason for panic. Everything's fine. Might anyone have a rolled up newspaper at the ready?

 **Baraggan** : You weren't kidnapped! You deliberately joined the enemy!

 **Rey** : But if he wasn't kidnapped, that would mean we were never the enemy in the first place!

 **Baraggan** : Don't try to confuse me with your words, shamrock!

 **Rey** : I'm aqua!

 **Washington** : Rey, calm down.

 **Rey** : Me? These guys roll up in a fucking assault jeep and you choose to yell at me?

 **Washington** : Look, tensions are high-

 **Rey** : No shit, Washington. I'm tired of you bossing us around.

 **Washington** : Now is not the time.

 **Rey** : You know, I disagree. We were having a talk when Tweedledee and Tweedle-fucking-idiot decided to interrupt, so let's finish this.

 **Washington** : There is nothing to finish!

 **Nirgge** : Are we intruding on some sort of lovers' quarrel right now?

 **Rey** : You are the worst thing to happen to this team since blue-boy over there decided to show up.

 **Di-Roy** : I am a man! Blue man!

 **Findor** : You take that back. Wash is a great leader. I assume.

 **Baraggan** : Blasphemy!

 **Freckles** : Deadly force authorized.

 **Rey** : Seriously, I would rather follow Di-Roy into battle than you.

 **Washington** : Oh, really? Then let's just make him the leader, see how much better off you are!

 **Di-Roy** : Well, I humbly accept your nomination and accept the position.

 **Washington** **and** **Rey** : Shut up!

 **Freckles** : Do not talk back to your commanding officer.

 **Rey** : Wash and I are having an argument. I will be talking back to him. That's how arguments work, you fucking toaster.

 _Shifts to Freckles' POV through his HUD's screen._ _The word "DEMOTED" appears over Washington as Freckles looks at him._

 **Freckles** : Washington is not the commanding officer.

 **Rey** : What?

 **Washington** : What?

 **Freckles** : In a unanimous decision by the Blue Team, Di-Roy has been promoted to Blue leader. Captain Di-Roy is now your commanding officer. Do not talk back to your commanding officer.

 **Nirgge** : Oh, fuck.

 **Di-Roy** : Well, yep. This is gonna be a lot of fun.

 **Washington** : No, Di-Roy, you can't-

 _Freckles turns toward Washington._

 **Washington** : Look, Freckles, this is a misunderstanding!

 **Findor** : Di-Roy is team leader? Fuck this.

 **Di-Roy** : Augh, don't worry, Findor. As my first duty as leader in the position of the nomination, I say you can be on Blue Team...forever!

 _Findor begins to walk away from the Blues._

 **Findor** : No thanks, I'm good.

 **Freckles** : Private Findor.

 _Findor stops._

 **Findor** : Oh no.

 **Freckles** : Deserting your post will designate you as AWOL. This designation is punishable by death.

 **Findor** : WHAT?

 **Nirgge** : Uh, hey Sarge? _Now_ the Blues have kidnapped Findor.

 **Baraggan** : THEN IT'S WAR!

 **Washington** : Wait! Stop!

 _Baraggan activates the cannon on the Warthog._

 **Baraggan** : Say hello to robot Satan, you mechanical son of a bi-

 **Nirgge** : Bail!

 _Nirgge throws himself out of the Warthog just as Freckles shoots it, sending both Nirgge and Baraggan flying out of the blown up vehicle._

 **Rey** : Woah!

 **Findor** : Sarge!

 **Di-Roy** : Freckles! Bad! Bad! No!

 **Freckles** : Primary threat eliminated.

 _Dordoni 2.0 runs into the area at the sound of explosions._

 **Dordoni 2.0** : ( _Translated to English)_ What was the explos—HOLY SHIT. WHAT DID YOU DO?

 **Findor** : Sarge! Are you okay?

 **Baraggan** : _(grunts in pain)_ No, Findor. I'm afraid I won't be okay...until I exact my revenge!

 **Nirgge** : Seriously, I am not affiliated with this lunatic. He does not speak for me.

 _Baraggan charges toward Freckles._

 **Baraggan** : HYAAAAH!

 **Freckles** : Engaging target.

 **Di-Roy** : Freckles, no!

 **Washington** : Sarge, don't!

 _Cut to a gun being shot into the air. Both teams slowly turn toward the source of the sound._

 **Charlotte** : Man, you guys are really noisy.

 _A pause, before both teams (minus Di-Roy) run toward Charlotte. Indistinct cheering._

 **Charlotte** : Aww! You must have really missed me!

 **Nirgge** : Charlotte, thank God you're here!

 **Baraggan** : We were just about ready to kill each other.

 **Rey** : Speak for yourself.

 **Washington** : Where's the ship?

 **Charlotte** : What ship?

 **Washington** : The ship you came here on. The rescue team.

 **Charlotte** : Ohhhh. Hah-hah, duh! Allow me to introduce: the rescue team!

 _Pans to the right to show Szayel standing a little ways off._

 **Szayel** : 'Sup.

 **Findor** : Doc?

 **Washington** : Wait. What is this?

 **Szayel** : Charlotte told me you guys needed help.

 **Charlotte** : So I got the best help money could buy!

 **Szayel** : You didn't pay me.

 **Charlotte** : And I didn't tip the pilot! That's formality.

 **Baraggan** : What pilot?

 **Charlotte** : The pilot that dropped us off, dummy.

 **Rey** : "Dropped you off"?

 **Nirgge** : As in, he's not here anymore?

 **Charlotte** : Exactly.

 _Di-Roy runs over to join the group._

 **Di-Roy** : 'Sup?

 **Washington** : So you're telling me...that you heard our distress signal...grabbed Doc...hopped on a ship...and then TOLD THE SHIP TO LEAVE? AND THAT'S YOUR IDEA OF SENDING HELP?!

 **Charlotte** : What? No! I brought Dordoni, too!

 _Cut to Dordoni 2.0 standing next to Dordoni's disembodied head._

 **Dordoni** : _(Translated to English)_ What The fuck.

 **Baraggan** : Kill him!

 _The Reds and Blues converge on Szayel and Charlotte and drag them behind a rock. The sounds of punching and beating commence. Indistinct angry yelling can be heard._

 **Charlotte** : Someone get this maniac turquoise guy away from me!

 **Rey** : I'M AQUA!

 _Cut to Locus on an outcrop watching the group from afar through the scope on his sniper rifle._

 **Locus** : Huh. Unfortunate.

 _Locus then proceeds to activate some form of cloaking device._


	11. Ep 11

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Worst Laid Plans!  
_

 _Fade in to Wash and Rey inside Blue Base._

 **Rey:** This is it. This is rock bottom. You ever hit rock bottom before Wash? Well, you have now. 'Cause this is it. Can't get any lower.

 **Findor** : ( _sniff_ ) I wanna go home.

 ** **Rey** :** Okay well maybe I spoke too soon.

 **Freckles:** Attention. Officer on deck.

 _Di-Roy enters._

 **Di-Roy:** Yes. Yes. Hello, thank you yes, hello. Thank you, you're welcome, yes thank you. Hhcheh, hceh, hh. Hello!

 **Freckles:** Captain, all team members are accounted for.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Well, excellent news, Assistant Captain Freckles.

 **Rey** : Oh my lord.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Hi. It looks like we have a new member today. Yes, give Findor a big Blue Team hello. Yes, welcome to Blue Team, Findor.

 _Claps._

 **Findor** : Can I leave?

 **Di-Roy** : It is good to have you on board today for the Blue Team.

 **Freckles** : Sir. Awaiting mission briefing.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Oh, yes, right, oh God, right yes. Um okay uh... Yes. First order of business is t-um... uh... Wash. Psst, Wa- Wash. Washington, Washing- Washington, Wash. Wash, Wash, Wash-

 **Washington:** Yes, Di-Roy?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** What is the first order of business?

 **Washington:** We're trying to get rescued.

 **Di-Roy** : Oh, yes, rescued! Yes excellent. Does anyone have any, suggestions?

 _Rey and Wash look at each other._

 **Washington:** Hh, well, we know the communications tower works, so we should continue in our efforts to make contact.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Ah, yes. Very good, excellent yes.

 **Washington** : However, we should also work on trying to boost the signal of the radio transmitter. We were barely able to maintain a steady line of communication last time. Even if we make contact again there's no guarantee anyone would be able to understand us.

 **Di-Roy** : Ah! Yes, uh- right, yes. Yes, then we need to do that! Rey! Go fix the radio thing!

 **Rey** : Me? Why not Wash? He's the one who built it.

 **Di-Roy** : Rey, becau- don't rook it, alright listen. We're gonna keep Wash here for another job.

 **Washington** : But, ih- Di-Roy.

 _Freckles turns to Wash._

 **Washington:** ( _growls_ )

 **Di-Roy** : Yeah, I'm thinking that you know, uh, Washington is mean and scary. Yes, yes, he will be our lookout!

 **Rey** : Lookout?

 **Di-Roy** : Yes. Washington, make sure you look out, for bad guys! And, anything, that looks scary.

 **Washington** : There's a giant robot trying to kill me.

 **Rey** : Yeah, why can't Freckles be our lookout? Killing stuff is like, his entire reason for existing.

 **Di-Roy** : Well um, every great leader needs a great best friend, and Freckles, I think you could be that best friend.

 **Freckles** : ...Acknowledged.

 **Findor** : Uhm, do I need to do anything?

 **Di-Roy** : Oh my God a Red, oh my- oh no sorry, sorry it's my bad. Sorry, sorry. Yeh Findor, yes Findor we got- we have to talk about it. Yes, um, Findor... you do what you, ah, normally do for the Reds. But instead... for the Blues.

 **Findor** : Uh, yes Sir.

 **Rey** : Wait, what is your job for the Reds?

 **Findor** : What do you mean, I just did it.

 **Di-Roy** : Okay everybody! Aaaaand Team! Alright see you, bye.

 _Di-Roy leaves._

 **Washington:** I hope you're happy.

 ** **Rey** :** Hey, don't pin this shit on me.

 ** **Findor** :** I'll just, stay here I guess.

 _Cut to Szayel healing Charlotte in front of Nirgge._

 **Szayel:** Alright, you're all patched up.

 **Charlotte** : I can't feel my toes. Is that normal?

 **Szayel** : Uhm, let's go with yes?

 ** **Charlotte** :** Works for me.

 **Szayel** : You know the next time someone comes to help you, I wouldn't really recommend beating the crap out of them.

 **Nirgge:** Well the next time somebody comes to help us, I hope they actually bring us help.

 **Szayel** : Hey, I take offense to that.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Yeah, it's called an insult.

 **Szayel** : Oh.

 ** **Charlotte** :** So what the heck happened? After you guys dropped me off at Valhalla, you guys were supposed to be going back to Blood Gulch.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Well, funny story...

 _Cut to the interior of the ship, with someone standing in front of a sparking wall panel._

 **Crewman:** Oh my God, who spilled soda all over my instruments?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh my God, I spilled my soda?

 _Alarms and red lights, and we're back to the present._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Somehow, the ship crashed, but uh, no-one seems to know why or, how or, when or-

 **Baraggan:** Men!

 ** **Nirgge** :** I didn't do it, you can't prove that I did!

 ** **Baraggan** :** It's time we took action.

 ** **Szayel** :** Oh, we're not gonna do anything violent, are we? Remember I'm a pacifist.

 **Baraggan** : Yeah, but think about it: Can't spell pacifist without fist. Which you need to throw a punch. That always leads to fighting, the precursor to a full-out battle. Which is ultimately the first step on the inevitable road to war! Violence is unavoidable Doc. Time to just admit you've got a natural-born pacifist lust for murder!

 ** **Szayel** :** Huhh, why do I even bother?

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** Oh come on Doc, where's your sense of adventure? We're a bunch of strapping young men stranded in the wilderness. If that doesn't sound like a good time, I don't know what does.

 ** **Nirgge** :** I'm starting to remember why I don't like you.

 ** **Charlotte**** : It's just like camping. Who wants to help me pitch a tent?

 ** **Nirgge**** : Yep, there it is.

 **Baraggan** : Since landing in this God-forsaken hellhole, we've let Washington make all the decisions. And just look where that's gotten us: the Warthog is destroyed; we're running low on food; and Findor is being held prisoner.

 ** **Nirgge**** : Shit's pretty fucked.

 ** **Baraggan** :** It's high time we took matters into our own hands! Red hands. The days of standing idly by, while the Blues do interesting and convoluted things are over!

 ** **Charlotte**** : All right! It's our time to shine. Can I get a heck yeah?

 **Baraggan** : Hell no.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** Close enough.

 **Baraggan** : What I'm about to propose to you gentlemen, is in no way simple, smart, or seemingly possible.

 ** **Nirgge**** : Solid pep talk so far Sarge.

 **Baraggan** : There's one thing in this canyon that's been the source of all our problems. If we want to get out of here alive, we're going to have to eliminate it. Boys, we've got to kill Freckles.

 **Szayel** : Uh, we don't know who that is. We just got here.

 **Baraggan** : The robot.

 ** ** **Charlotte****** : You mean Dordoni?

 **Dordoni 2.0** : Creo que estan hablando de nosotros! _(I think they're talking about us!)_

 **Dordoni** : A menos que estén hablando de mi construir no me importa. _(Unless they are talking about building me a new body I don't give a shit.)_

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** No, the giant robot that belongs to Di-Roy? AKA the thing that will fucking kill us if we get anywhere near it. So exactly how do you plan on "eliminating" it Sarge?

 **Baraggan** : Well if our ship was carrying something as big as Freckles, I figure it may have also been carrying something big enough to break him.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** We're going aboard the ship?

 **Baraggan** : We'll move in tonight. Charlotte, you guard the base while we're gone.

 ** ** **Charlotte****** : Awesome.

 _Wash arrives._

 **Washington:** Hey. You guys haven't seen anything, suspicious, around, have you?

 **Baraggan** : Uh suspicious, why whatever do you mean, Agent Washington?

 **Washington** : Heuh, nothing, just... doing my job.

 _Wash departs,_

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Nice save Sarge. Very convincing.

 **Baraggan** : Heh heh. Acting.

 _Cut to a ship docking in an unknown location. The pilot of the ship exits it and runs across the landscape, unknowingly passing a dead soldier in salmon armor located on the ground behind a rock. He runs up a short ramp to a window._

 **Dropship Pilot** : Hey can I get some fuel on three?

 **Unknown Voice** : You got it.

 **Dropship Pilot:** Thanks. Hey uh, I'm not really from around here, but uh, do you know about that crashed spaceship?

 **Voice** : Spaceship?

 **Dropship Pilot** : Yeah. I just dropped off a couple of guys who saw it in the middle of a canyon. It's big. Like, really big.

 **Voice** : No. I can't say I've heard of it.

 **Dropship Pilot** : Really. Oh man. I mean, someone should report that, right?

 **Voice:** Well, that's up to you.

 **Dropship Pilot** : Yeah, it was pretty bad. You got a phone I could use?

 **Voice** : Sure. Right behind you.

 **Dropship Pilot** : Thanks.

 _The Dropship Pilot turns and walks down the ramp, when suddenly Locus shoots him in the back._

 **Locus** : Just so you're aware, no-one's gonna find your ship either.

 _Locus shoots him once again._

 **Locus** : Control this is Locus. Objective complete. Returning to Crash Site Bravo.

 **Well, everyone time to reveal who Locus is. Its none other then Arturo Plateado.**


	12. Ep 12

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Finders Keepers!  
_

 _Cut to Findor watching a gravity lift. Rey approaches Findor._

 ** **Rey** :** ( _groans_ ) This blows. I don't know a first thing about fixing intergalactic radios.

 **Findor:** ( _still watching the grav lift_ ) Uh huh.

 **Rey** : Every movie that I've ever seen with a repairman on it always glosses over the actual repairing part. It's just, "Hey baby, I'm here to lay some pipe" and then bam, two scoops of raisin!

 **Findor** : Uh huh.

 **Rey** : Dammit woman! If you let the man do his job, then maybe we would not be in this mess.

 **Findor** : ( _looks at Rey_ ) Hey Rey, what the fuck is this thing?

 **Rey** : It's a gravity lift. You step on it and it takes you upstairs.

 **Findor** : I know that, but what the fuck is it doing here?

 **Rey** : It's glowing and goes ( _makes glowing sounds_ )

 ** **Findor** : **So let me get this straight. We're the survivors of a shipwreck, living off of the bare necessities, and in the middle of the room is this incredible feat of modern-day technology.

 **Rey** : I don't know. Wash found it on the ship and put it on the base. What's so weird about that?

 **Findor** : It's like finding a car made of rocks, plastic and a bluetooth radio.

 ** **Rey** :** Oh, we've got that too. ( _Siri's iPhone jingle is heard_ ) Siri, play song dance theme.

 **Siri:** Did you mean bomb, Nnoitra?

 ** **Rey** : **Oh piece of shit.

 **Siri:** Calling bomb, Nnoitra.

 ** **Findor** : **How are you able to power all of this?

 ** **Rey** : **We're hooked up to the ship.

 ** **Findor** : **You mean you have a direct line to a limitless power suply?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Well, no, we'll definitely run out of fuel eventually, just not anytime soon. So who cares, take as much as you want.

 ** **Findor** : **God bless the Amercan way.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **What are ya gonna do?

 ** **Findor** : **( _runs to the gravity lift)_ Just a side project!

 **Washington:** Hey Di-Roy!

 _Rey turns to see Wash running over to Di-Roy and Freckles_.

 **Washington:** I've secured the perimeter. No bad guys to be found.

 **Di-Roy:** ( _in a low commanding voice)_ Excellent work Commander Washington, I admire your determination! Why, maybe someday you could be the leader of blue team!

 **Washington:** _(sarcastically)_ Yes, maybe someday.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Now, I have a very important question for you Washington!

 **Washington:** Okay.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Um…d'ya think Freckles would look…silly in a hat? Possibly a sombrero?

 **Washington:** You want to dress your pet up in people clothes?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** To boost the moral of the troops!

 **Washington:** You know, I just remembered I haven't checked for any bad guys on the Ship.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** What?! Washington, what are you even doing here!? The- uh, there could be bad guys plotting against us right now!

 **Washington:** You're right! Sorry boss, I'll take care of right away.

 _Wash runs to the ship._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **( _turns to Freckles and sighs_ ) Ya'know some people are just not cut out for military life Freckles. Now let's go make you that tiny hat.

 _Di-Roy walks off with Freckles behind him. Cut to Rey watching them go._

 **Rey:** Thanks Wash, really looking out for your team.

 _Siri's iPhone jingle is heard._

 **Nnoitra:** ( _voice machine_ ) Hey, you've reached the voicemail of _"Nnoitra the Bomb."_

 ** **Rey** : **Siri, hang up!

 _Cut to an outcropping, where Grimmjow watches the group from afar._

 **Grimmjow:** Holy shit. It's actually them.

 _The soldier hears a noise and turns to see Locus on another ledge before the latter cloaks out of sight._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(worried)_ Oh no.

 _Pan to the sky. Fade to a dark, star filled sky. Baraggan, Nirgge, and Szayel walk down a corridor of the ship._

 **Szayel:** Ya know, for a shipwreck, this place actually looks pretty nice.

 **Nirgge:** You should see the other half.

 ** **Szayel** : **Is it bad?

 ** **Nirgge** : **We don't know. It landed somewhere else.

 _Szayel stops walking._

 ** **Szayel** : **Yeah that's pretty bad. Hey, did you guys ever watch _Lost_?

 **Baraggan and** ** **Nirgge** : **SHUT UP!

 _The trio walks into a large room._

 ** **Baraggan** : **Alright, men. Fan out and see what you can find. Remember we're hunting the most dangerous prey of them all.

 ** **Szayel** : **Man?

 ** **Baraggan** :** What? No. Giant robot.

 ** **Szayel** : **Oh, yeah.

 ** **Baraggan** :** _Pfft_ Man. Everything kills man. Man's way down on the list. Right between Koala and retarded Koala.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Yeah, man sucks.

 _The three spread out. Nirgge finds several sticky detonators in a corner._

 ** **Nirgge** : **Hmm.

 _He picks one up and fires it at the wall. The charge sticks to the wall._

 ** **Nirgge** : **What the fuck? Huh.

 _Nirgge finds Szayel looking up at something._

 ** **Szayel** : **Hmmm.

 _Nirgge fires and sticks a charge to the side of Szayel's head._

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** Hey!

 ** **Nirgge** : **Boosh! Headshot!

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** Nirgge ! What the heck man!?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh, don't be a bitch.

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **What is this?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Beats me. Wanna try? There's a whole bunch in the corner.

 ** ** ** **Szayel****** : **I'm not sure... You know how I feel about firearms.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Come on. They don't do anything. They just stick.

 ** ** ** **Szayel****** : **Well let me think about it...

 _There is a long pause._

 ** ** ** **Szayel****** : **...Okay!

 _Cut to Baraggan above them._

 **Baraggan:** Hey! This ain't a tea party, numbskulls! Get ridda' those toys a get back to work.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Fine.

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** : **Aww man.

 ** **Baraggan** : **And take that stupid thing of you head.

 _Baraggan walks off. Szayel is heard pulling the charge off his head. Cut to Nirgge and Szayel walking away._

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** : **I never get to do anything cool.

 _The charge on the ground explodes after they're gone._

 ** **Baraggan** : **You'd better not be breaking things down there!

 _Szayel walks up to a computer console._

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** : **Hmm. According to the ship's records, it was carrying alot of standard issue weaponry. Buuut it has a bunch stuff here listed as "experimental".

 _Nirgge comes up._

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Oooh! That's military slang for really fucking dangerous. Where's that stuff?

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** : **Well it looks like most of it was on the other half of the ship.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Booo!

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** : **But there is one prototype that was kept here.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Yes!

 _Szayel types into the keypad and something is heard opening. He and Nirgge go and look at a line of orange glowing cube grenades._

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **What the fuck are these?

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** : **Looks like some kind of grenade. Or it could be a rubix cube. I dunno.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Huh.

 _Nirgge throws one._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **Aaaahh! What are doing?!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Tryin' it out.

 _The grenade hits some fuel crates. There is and orange flash and the crates disappear._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Whoa!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** :** YOU COULD'VE KILLED US!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Did you see that?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **You can't just go around messing with experimental-

 _Nirgge throws another one._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **Stop doing that!

 _There's another orange flash and the crates reappear._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Dude!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **What is wrong with you!?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** These things are like, teleporter cubes!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **Be careful we don't know how they work.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Waddya mean? Throw it at a thing. Thing disappears. Throw another one. Thing reappears. I could keep an entire buffet in the palm of my hand!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **Really? Thats what you're excited about?

 **Baraggan:** Men! Upstairs! Now!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **Coming!

 _Szayel runs off._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Oh, I am taking these.

 _Cut to Nirgge and Szayel on the upper platform with Baraggan. Baraggan stands staring at something._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel************ : **Sarge! You'll never guess what we found!

 ** **Baraggan** : **Son, You could've found a laser-guided napalm shark. But I still wouldn't care.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel************ : **What?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Ya know that feelin' you get when you see a pretty girl on the first day of school? You're not really sure what to do, but your instincts just take over and you smile at her. And she smiles back. ( _Getting emotional)_ And suddenly the world's a brand new place. And your stomach's all full of twists and twirls?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel************ : **Um... Yeah?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Well, boys. I got that feelin' right now.

 _Nirgge and Szayel follow Baraggan's gaze and see a collosal mech similar to Freckles._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Holy shit...

 ** **Baraggan** : **Exept imagine that that pretty girl at school is armor plated with a titanium polly-alloy with fifty milimeter canons and ammo for days!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel************** : **She sounds pretty high maintainance.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **She sounds like I need a safe-word to date her.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Oh yeah!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel************** : **So how do we get it out of the ship?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge:************** ** Teleportation cubes, anyone?

 ** **Baraggan** : **No! A lady this fine has to be treated right. Whiled up and whatnot. We'll take her apart and move her ourselves limb by limb. Packed away in carrying cases if neccessary.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel**************** : **Uh... I think your dating metaphor just took a turn into serial killer territory there, Sarge.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** : **Seriously? I just found these awesome future cubes! It's destiny!

 _A small noise is heard. Baraggan raises his gun._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Huh? What was that?

 _The reds crouch down and see Washington moving down a hallway from the catwalk across the room._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel**************** : **Agent Washington?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** : **What the hell is he doing here?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Doesn't matter. Let's just dismember this beutiful lady and take back to our lair. I mean base.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** : **Could you please stop reffering to the robot as a woman? It's really weird.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Not as weird as the throbbin' erection she's givin' me.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** : **Jesus Christ.

 _Fade to Washington working on somthing on a table in a storage room._

 **Washington:** Hmm. Needs a conductor...

 _Wash goes and tries to open a nearby crate._

 **Washington:** ( _groans_ ) Stupid thing... Just open!

 _He steps back and shoots at the crate. He then notices something nearby and approaches it._

 **Washington:** There we go.

 _Wash returns to his work._

 **Washington:** Never thought it'd come down to this. Sorry, Di-Roy.

 **Well everyone play the part of** **Felix is none other the our boy Grimmjow. I hope this make you all happy have him finally being in this.**


	13. Ep 13

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _+1 Follower!  
_

 _Pan across the floor of the Red base. Cut to Rey watching Findor working on a console. Wash walks up._

 **Washington:** What is all this?

 **Findor:** It's the future.

 **Rey:** Where the hell have you been?

 **Washington:** I've been doing everything I can to keep us alive.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh really? Then where were you when Freckles tried to kill me for calling his tiny hat stupid!?

 **Washington:** I thought you didn't need me protecting you, Rey.

 ** **Findor** : **Hey, guys. I'm trying to revolutionize the world of inter-canyon communication. So if you could keep it down that'd be great!

 **Washington:** What is he talking about?

 ** **Findor** : **I'm talking about... the internet!

 _Findeo stands up and reveals the new "Findor" search engine._

 **Computer:** Welcome!

 ** **Rey** : **Oh my god! Everybody leave! Everybody leave right now! There's something I've gotta do.

 **Washington:** The internet?

 ** **Rey** : **Seriously. You're gonna see some shit if you don't leave.

 ** **Findor** : **Well, it's not really the internet. The only two points of communication are Red and Blue base.

 ** **Rey** : **_(disappointed)_ Why would you lie to us like that?

 _Tissues and Vaseline are seen in the background behind Rey._

 **Washington:** You put one of these at Red base too?

 ** **Findor** : **Yeah. I had to sneak past Freckles but it was totally worth it.

 **Washington:** Why?

 ** **Findor** : **Behold!

 _Cut to the "Basebook" homepage._

 **Washington:** Basebook?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Yeah. It's a site that let's you post pictures, videos and even text posts so that your friends always know what your up to. It's revolutionary!

 **Washington:** Revolutionary? The first social media sites were created hundreds of years ago.

 ** **Rey** : **And there are no friends in this canyon. Only forced aquaintances.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Yeah, but those old sites just turned into amogarations of attention whores. Nothing but teenagers who wanted to prove they were cool and old people who wanted to prove they were still relevant.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** So what's the point of Basebook?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Oh, ya'know. Just wanna keep in touch with my friends on the Red team while I'm your prisoner. Can't let them forget about Ol' Findor! Ha ha he, huh ha ha he, ( _crying)_

 **Washington:** Well... I'm glad you spent your time in captivity on something meaningful.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **So you made it. What now?

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Well, let's see what Sarge is up to.

 _Findor checks the computer._

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Uh huh. Hmm. Hasn't set up his profile yet... That's cool. Umm I'll just wait for an update. He has to have an I'm sure It'll come eventually. Huh Updates. He he ha, he he...

 **Washington:** Ya'know... Maybe you should go outside for a bit, Findor. I'm sure Di-Roy wouldn't mind if you got some fresh air.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **No no. It's cool. I'll just save Sarge some time and... Make a profile for him! Yeah. That'll be fun. And I'll do a post about it. Just so he knows...

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **...Hope You like the new Blue team, Wash. Really worked your magic.

 _Rey walks away._

 **Di-Roy:** (o _ffscreen_ ) Ugh, Okay!

 _Wash looks outside at Freckles posing in his sombrero._

 ** **Di-Roy** : '**Kay! Okay! Don't move! I gotta get my camera! Oh my god this is gonna be so cute!

 _Di-Roy runs off._

 **Freckles:** Holding position.

 _Cut back to Washington in the base with Findor in the background._

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Hey, Wash. Could you take a picture and then tag me in it? He he, 'Cause if I do it myself I'll just look like one of those losers.

 **Washington:** ( _sighs_ )

 _Cut to the Red base. A crash is heard. Cut to Charlotte running out of the side door with his magnum._

 **Charlotte:** Alright! Spread 'em!

 _Cut to Nirgge and Szayel with Baraggan in the background near some crates._

 **Szayel:** Hey, Charlotte.

 _Charlotte lowers his gun._

 ** **Charlotte** : **Oh it's you guys! What took you so long?

 ** **Szayel** : **It's not exactly easy moving several tons of robot in a timely manner. I think Nirgge even dropped some of the pieces along the way.

 **Nirgge:** There's a difference between dropping and abandoning.

 _Cut to Baraggan._

 **Baraggan:** What?! Droppin' pieces?! Nirgge, if I find a single screw missing from this death machine, I'll beat the living pulp out of you and drink the remaining orange juice! 'Cause I like my dead men pulp free. And with extra calcium. If available.

 ** **Nirgge** : **What if I lost multiple screws? Or several feet of armor plating?

 _The now much smaller robot is seen behind Nirgge._

 ** ** **Charlotte**** : **Giant robot battle here we come! This is gonna be huuaaawesome! Fight fire with fire. Good idea, Sarge.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **I still say we should trap Freckles in a future cube!

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** You actually brought one of those with you?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Technically yes.

 _Nirgge throws a cube and a large stack of cubes appear._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** But actually no.

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** : **It's a cube that makes more cubes?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **No. They teleport stuff. Watch this.

 _Nirgge sees a traffic cone._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Fuck you, cone! What'd you ever do for me?

 _Nirgge throws a cube and teleports the cone._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **I'm just kiddin' ,cone. You can come back.

 _He throws another one and the cone returns._

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** : **They're like Poké Balls!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **No. THESE are cool. Do not ruin them for me.

 ** ** ** ** **Charlotte******** :** Or maybe they send stuff to the phantom zone. Like in that bad Superman movie.

 ** ** ** **Szayel****** : **You mean _Superman 2_ or _Man of Steel_?

 ** ** ** ** **Charlotte******** : **No the eleventh remake. ( _in a deep voice_ ) _Superman Origins 3: Revelations_!

 ** ** ** **Szayel****** : **Oh yeah. That was awesome.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Sarge, look. Let's just send Charlotte to Blue base with one of the cubes. He throws it at Freckles. Freckles gets zapped. The we just throw the cubes in a vulcano or something.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Charlotte********** :** Why do I have to do it?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** In case it doesn't work. I wanna be alive.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Charlotte********** :** Makes sense.

 ** ** ** ** **Szayel******** :** But we still don't even know how the teleporter cubes work. What they're extremely radioactive? Or what if they only work on inanimate objects?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Robots are objects.

 **Baraggan:** Hey! You're gonna hurt some feelings here. Don't ever talk like that in front of my robot.

 _Dordoni 2.0 comes over._

 **Dordoni 2.0:** ( _translation_ ) I heard the word robot. Did you call me?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Nobody's talkin' to you, idiot.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel********** : **Well you should atleast run some tests first.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **But tests are haaard!

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Well if it keeps you morons away from me so I can work. I say go for it.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Seriously?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** You can either test the cubes or you can test this things primary defense systems.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** What do I have to do for that?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Just stand still and wait for the sweet embrace of death.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Okay. Yeah, I'm leaving now.

 _Nirgge runs through the base._

 **Charlotte:** Ooh! I'm gonna update my Basebook page about this.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Szayel************ :** What's that?

 ** **Charlotte** :** Oh, Doc. You're. Gonna. Love it. You should see this picture Di-Roy just uploaded. It's HILARIOUS!

 _Dordoni 2.0 and Dordoni's head watch from afar as Szayel and Charlotte go inside._

 **Dordoni:** ( _translation_ ) [SIGH] Another robot. How original.

 **Grimmjow:** Psst!

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** ( _translation_ ) Did you hear something?

 _Cut to Grimmjow hiding in the shadows._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Yeah. Hey, over here. Brown guy.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** Holy shit who is that?

 ** **Dordoni** :** Who is what? I can't see.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Okay, don't come over here or anything just listen. You and your friends are in alot of trouble.

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** What?

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** Seriously, what the fuck is going on?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I'm gonna get you guys out of here, Okay? But you need to sit tight a little while longer. I'm not the only one with their eyes on you.

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** What does that mean?

 ** **Grimmjow** : **I gotta go. Look I know you people can fend for yourselves just...Be careful.

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** Be careful ? Why? Who is watching us?

 ** ** **Dordoni**** : **TURN. ME. AROUND.

 _Dordoni 2.0 looks back and the soldier is gone._

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** He's gone!

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** Gone?

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0: ** Vanished!

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** Was he Batman?

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** Dordoni, we have to tell somebody!

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** You can't be serious.

 _Cut to Baraggan._

 ** ** **Dordoni**** 2.0:** SARGE! SARGE!

 **Baraggan:** Hmm? You talkin' to me?

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** 2.0:** A MAN WAS JUST HERE! HE SAID WE WERE IN DANGER. HE SAID WE HAVE TO-

 ** **Baraggan** : **Dos point oh, quit your yammerin' so I can build your replacement. Ugh I mean your... Building your...ugh. Yeah it's pretty much your replacement.

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** :** Trust me, kid. Don't even bother. You could draw that man a detailed infographic describing the situation and he'd still find some way to screw things up.

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** 2.0:** But we could be rescued.

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** :** I can either be a head in this canyon. Or I could be a head in another canyon. At this point I really don't care.

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** 2.0:** But what about our creators?

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** :** They're the worst.

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** 2.0: ** What do you mean?

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** : **[SIGH] You're going to want to sit down for this story. It's about 20 hours long and I only enjoy telling it in five minute intervals.


	14. Ep 14

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Reconciliation!  
_

 _Inside Red base, Szayel and Charlotte are both seen standing in front of a computer screen._

 **Charlotte** : Pretty neat huh?

 _Charlotte and Szayel look at the computer screen, displaying a picture of them at Valhalla._

 **Szayel** : So who uses this?

 **Charlotte** : Mainly just Findor and Di-Roy.

 _Charlotte looks at the screen._

 **Charlotte** : Oh wait! looks like Sarge has a profile now...LIKE!

 **Szayel** : And you just...talk about yourself?

 **Charlotte** : You can post pictures and stuff too, I've been downloading this picture of Freckles for awhile!

 _Screen displays a picture downloading at 15%. The download bar turns to 16%_

 **Szayel** : How long has that been going for?

 **Charlotte** : Uh, just a few hours.

 **Szayel** : You spent hours of our limited energy just downloading a single picture?

 **Charlotte** : It is a very high quality picture.

 _The download bar turns from 16% to 17%_

 **Szayel** : ...Well you can't argue with that! so is this all you did while we were out last night?

 **Charlotte** : Nope! I've been cleaning the base top to bottom, it was the least I can do to make it more presentable, I did the dishes, swept the sand off the floor...

 **Szayel** : Wow, did you clean Nirgge's room?

 **Charlotte** : Nirgge has a room?

 **Szayel** : Well he, and Findor share that side of the base, but Nirgge's stuff overflowed onto the roof.

 **Charlotte** : Ooh let me take a peek!

 _Charlotte runs offscreen to Nirgge's room_

 **Szayel** : Oh my god! If this post gets over ten thousand likes, Basebook will pay for a rescue team to save us!

 **Charlotte** : ( _offscreen_ ) AGGGH!

 **Szayel** : I know, it's to good to be true!

 _Charlotte runs out of the base. Cut to Nirgge outside the base throwing his teleportation cubes._

 ** **Charlotte** : N**irgge Parduoc!

 **Nirgge:** Huh?

 **Charlotte** : I can't stand living in this base the way you've been treating it! The layout is all wrong, the color palette is atrocious, and the garden doesn't even have flowers in it, just vegetables. Also, I think someone's trying to plant candy corn in some point!

 **Nirgge** : Hmm, I, uh, wonder who did that?

 _Szayel exits the base and joins Charlotte and Nirgge._

 **Szayel** : How's the testing going?

 **Nirgge** : Well Doc, after countless experiments, I've determined the teleportation cubes are still fucking awesome! All other data has been inconclusive.

 **Szayel** : Nirgge, I really think we shouldn't be messing with these, they can be dangerous! We can't be throwing them all willy nilly!

 **Charlotte** : Give me that!

 **Nirgge** : Hey!

 _Charlotte throws a teleportation cube onto the base's roof, which absorbs Nirgge's overflowing stuff._

 **Nirgge** : My stuff!

 _Charlotte turns and hurls the teleportation cube across the canyon_

 **Szayel** : ...Nice arm

 ** **Charlotte** :** There. If you can't be responsable enough to clean your room, you'll just have to say goodbye to everything that was in it.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Aww man...

 _Cut to Findor in Blue base._

 **Findor:** Hey, someone liked my post! Things are finally looking up for Private Findor!

 _Charlotte thrown cube lands behind him._

 ** **Findor** : **What the?

 _The cube explodes. Cut to a wideshot of the canyon._

 ** **Findor** : **NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 _Cut to Washington walking up to the radio tower._

 **Washington:** What are you doing?

 _Rey is seen beating the radio with his gun._

 **Rey:** Fixing. The. Radio.

 **Washington:** By beating it with the butt of your rifle?

 ** **Rey** : **It worked for you.

 **Washington:** But that was-

 ** **Rey** :** Ya know what? How 'bout you come over here and do it yourself?

 **Washington:** ...Try connecting the antanna port to the amp.

 _Rey stops._

 ** **Rey** :** What?

 **Washington:** If you transmit too much voltage that will just fry the radio. But is you transfer the power through an amp...

 ** **Rey** :** All I hear are words that would get me beat up in highschool.

 **Washington:** Rey, I'm being serious.

 ** **Rey** :** Oh my god. Stop the fuckin' presses. Agent Washington is being serious.

 **Washington:** If you'd just listen to me you could do this.

 ** **Rey** :** I don't want to do this! Did you ever think of that? All I wanna do is stand around and talk to my friend. But he's gone now and all I have is you!

 **Washington:** What?

 ** **Rey** :** It's fucking bullshit.

 **Washington:** ...Did you know I was one of the worst freelancers in my squad? There was Agent York our security specialist, Agent North the sharpshooter, Carolina was an expert in martial arts and Tex was... Well you know Tex.

 ** **Rey** :** Cool story, bro.

 **Washington:** I was known for getting a grappling hook stuck to my balls.

 _Rey points his head up then turns around._

 ** **Rey** :** Okay, where are you going with this?

 **Washington:** Skullak was your leader for years. You two knew each other inside out.

 ** **Rey** :** Dude, don't phrase it like that!

 **Washington:** I'm still new to all this. I've never really had to lead anybody before. But when Skullak and Carolina disappeared I didn't have a choice. I had to try...

 ** **Rey** :** Well there's your problem. You tried too hard, man! I mean Skullak wasn't the best leader ever, but he never made us run laps or do push ups or anything. He just took the blame when shit went wrong. That was pretty much it.

 **Washington:** Well. We're shipwrecked, low on food and have to do whatever Di-Roy tells us or we'll be killed by a robot.

 ** **Rey** :** Sounds like you really fucked up.

 **Washington:** Yeah. Kinda looks that way.

 _Pause._

 ** **Rey** :** But I guess you weren't really our leader when the ship crashed. So I guess you don't have to take the blame for that one.

 _Wash pauses. Cut to two operators on the ship before it crashed. The lights dim._

 **Spaceship operator:** Whoops.

 _Wash comes over._

 **Washington:** Sorry! Knocked a cable out of the wall. I hope that wasn't important.

 _Sirens go off and a red light comes on. Flashback ends._

 **Washington:** Ah heh I'll take some of the blame.

 ** **Rey** : **Whatever.

 _Wash approaches Rey._

 **Washington:** So are you gonna fix this radio or not?

 ** **Rey** : **Well, when I started the radio was working but the signal wasn't strong enough. Now it's just...not working.

 **Washinton:** Sounds like you really fucked up.

 ** **Rey** : **Don't be a dick.

 **Washington:** You're a capable soldier, Rey. Atleast compared to your usual just need to...try.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh.

 **Washington:** What?

 _Rey turns on the radio._

 ** **Rey** : **It was just turned off.

 **Di-Roy:** Attention Blue team, ( _echoing_ ) team, team, team!

 **Washington:** Uhh... yes, Captain?

 _Di-Roy is seen below with Freckles._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Ugh... I know we all said we wanted to fix the radio...And that was really important... to fix the radio and the tower and all that is really 'portant...

 **Washington:** We'll probably die if it's not repaired.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** But! Um, I really need you guys to go back to Blue base and kinda cleeeean up.

 ** **Rey** : **Clean up what?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Garbage and robot parts and gross socks all over. Findor... yeah um, Simmons actually won't stop rocking back and forth in the corner and it's kind of um... kinda freakin' me out.

 _Washington and Rey look at one another and turn back to Di-Roy._

 **Washington:** And you're sure you mean Blue base?

 **Freckles:** Do not question your commanding officer.

 **Washington:** Okay, okay. We'll be there in a few minutes.

 _Di-Roy climbs onto Freckles' back._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Assistant Captain best friend Freckles, initiate piggyback sequence!

 _Freckles walks off with Di-Roy._

 ** ** **Rey**** : **You realize we're all gonna die because of him?

 **Washington: Rey** , I need you to head back to base and do what you can. I going up to the ship.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **You're leaving me again!? What the fuck do you need to go on the ship for?

 **Washington:** I found something. I just need you to buy me some time.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Why? What are you gonna do?

 **Washington:** Hopefully... I'm gonna put a stop to this.

 _Cut to Locus walking out of a base and passing by several white armored soldiers. Pans out to reveal a small army at the camp and cruiser in the sky. Locus passes several emplacements and soldiers until he comes to four men at the edge of the camp._

 **Locus:** You four, with me. We're going hunting.


	15. Ep 15

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Neighborhood Watch!  
_

 _Fade in and Cut to Dordoni and Dordoni 2.0 outside the Red base._

 **Dordoni 2.0:** (translation) A scarecrow?

 ** **Dordoni** : **(translation) Yep.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** They just left you hanging out there with all the vegetables?

 ** **Dordoni** : **It takes about 90 days to grow corn.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** That's terrible!

 ** **Dordoni** : **It was not the best.

 _Baraggan is seen near the robot parts._

 **Baraggan:** Hey, Dordonis! Come over here and gimme a hand. I keep havin' to get on my knees to work on this. But I figure it'd be easier if you held it at chest level instead.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** Yes, sir!

 ** **Dordoni** : **Wait.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** What?

 ** **Dordoni** : **There is one thing about these people I do like. Hey, Sarge! Why don't you want to get on your knees? Afraid it will bring back some repressed memories?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Ha! Dordoni, you ol' kidder you. Now come on time's wastin'.

 _Dordoni 2.0 looks at Dordoni then at Baraggan._

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** Hey, Sarge... You smell !

 ** **Baraggan** : **Oh, don't tell me he's got you in on it too. Ha ha, Dordoni you are rambuctious.

 ** **Dordoni** : **Sometimes he makes up entire conversations. You suck!

 ** **Baraggan** : **It is a lovely day, isn't it?

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** And you aren't smart.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Thank you for noticing. I have been hitting the gym.

 ** **Dordoni** :** Your mother's so fat she use a richter scale.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** And she's a whore!

 ** **Baraggan** : **He, he. You two are like a couple of three stooges. Well, whenever you're done goofin' off come help me with with this. I just need to make a few more adjustments.

 ** **Dordoni** :** Stick with me, kid. And you're going to be just fine.

 _Cut to Washington approaching Blue base._

 **Washington:** Here goes nothing.

 _Freckles walks in front of him._

 **Freckles:** Agent Washington.

 **Washington:** Oh, Freckles. I didn't see you there. Man, for a behemoth you hide really well.

 **Freckles:** You have failed to uphold your duties to Captain Di-Roy.

 **Washington:** But I was just on my way up now. Ready to clean the base!

 **Freckles:** You lack diligence, Agent Washington.

 **Washington:** What?

 **Freckles:** You question authority, Agent Washington.

 _Wash raises his gun and slowly backs away._

 **Washington:** Um, Di-Roy! Could you come out here?!

 _Freckles' cannons start powering up._

 **Freckles:** You must be eliminated, Agent Washington.

 **Washington:** Di-Roy!

 _Di-Roy appears on the balcony._

 **Di-Roy:** Hello!

 **Washington:** Your pet is trying to kill me!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** What? That does not sound like Freck... Hey Freckles, Freckles what are you doing?

 **Freckles:** Agent Washington has failed to meet the minimum requirement of Blue Team service and is no longer fit for duty. He must be eliminated.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **See, he's just doing what he just said.

 **Wahington:** Di-Roy, please come here, I need to talk to you!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Agg, probably wants to talk about what an awesome leader I am.

 **Wahsington:** ( _coughs)_

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yes, hello, what seems to be the problem Agent Washington?

 _Washington lowers his weapon and looks at Di-Roy. He then turns to Rey and takes a deep breath._

 **Wahington:** I'm sorry Di-Roy. I'm sorry your best friend left you without saying goodbye. Maybe he thought you would try and stop him or maybe it was too hard for him to tell you but, no matter the reason, he's still gone. He left you, ( _Cut to Rey_ ) both of you. ( _back to Wash_ ) I don't really do emotional things and I hoped you might have been able to get over this by yourselves so I left you alone, and instead of coming to terms with what you lost, you replaced it with, well, the first thing you found. But I should have been there for you Di-Roy because, that's what friends do for each other...

 **Freckles:** Captain Di-Roy is not your friend, he is your commanding...

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Uh, no we're all friends here Freckles, it's you know.

 **Washington:** That's right, and as your friend I want to say that I'm sorry. I know it's not much, I made you this.

 _Washington moves, revealing a blue Mark V helmet on the ground._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Oh my god! My old helmet!

 _Di-Roy runs to the helmet._

 **Freckles:** Captain Di-Roy, You should return to your duties.

 _Wash stands next to Di-Roy._

 **Washington:** I know you really like Freckles, Di-Roy. But you have to understand that he's very dangerous. He's not a puppy anymore...A kitten? Or ... He's really big.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yeeaah...He blew up a car.

 **Washington:** I remember that.

 _Di-Roy approaches Freckles._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Freckles, you- you're one of the best machines I know. And that is saying something because I have been friends with a lot of machines. But... From now on, I think you should listen to Agent Washington.

 **Freckles:** Are you sure?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, yeah he's very smart and really nice.

 **Freckles:**...Acknowledged.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **You can be leader again if you want to, Wash. It's...It's not as much fun as it looks. I think I'm more like the dashing second in command kind of person. Ya' know, all the perks no work.

 **Washington:** Thank you, Di-Roy.

 _Cut to Rey watching from the base. Sobbing is heard. Zoom out to reveal Findor next to him._

 **Findor:** _(sniffle)_ I wish my team was this emotional.

 **Rey:** Jesus Christ.

 _Rey walks away. Cut to Di-Roy wearing his new helmet._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Ah! It fits perfect! And look, someone left some gum!

 _Rey approaches Washington._

 ** **Rey** : **Pretty sneaky, Wash. A couple of mushy words, a present and you're right back up at the top.

 **Washington:** Nothing sneaky about it. I meant every word.

 _The helmet is heard shorting out. Cut to Di-Roy with a black visor._

 **Di-Roy:** Uh oh. I ugh...I can't see anything. Hello?

 ** **Rey** :** You still need to work on your craftsmanship, though.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** ( _offscreen_ ) OH MY GOD I'M BLIND!

 **Washington:** One thing at a time, Rey.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Uh... Can people see me? I can't see them!

 ** **Rey** :** Well, atleast we don't have a killer robot to worry about anymore.

 _Cut to the the Reds' new robot powering up. It's engine rumbles and smokes._

 **Baraggan:** Ha ha! Listen to that lady purr.

 **Charlotte:** Great job, Sarge!

 _Cut to the Reds and Szayel._

 **Nirgge:** Great job? It looks like shit! It's half the size. And it's on fire!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Yeah. Turns out we were missin' some pieces. Which reminds me...

 _Baraggan beats down Nirgge._

 ** **Baraggan** : **Charlotte, get me a glass. _(punches Nirgge)_ I'm makin' orange juice. ( _punches Nirgge)_

 ** **Nirgge** :** Ack! Every time!

 ** **Charlotte** : **Getting a jump on the flu season! Good idea, sir!

 **Szayel:** Wait, that's a thing?

 **Robot:** _(stuttering)_ C-c-Cyclops online.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Huh, I knew it was a beautiful lady.

 _Nirgge gets up._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Cyclops?

 ** **Szayel** : **Looks more like a praying mantis to me.

 ** **Charlotte** : **No, she said "C-C" Cyclops. I think it's Italian.

 **Cyclops:** E-e- error. H-hardware malfunction.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Welcome to Red team, CC! Now if you can-

 **Cyclops:** Enemy soldiers detected.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Ugh, is it supposed to do that?

 ** **Baraggan** :** I admire your enthusiasum, Cici. But you've only got one enemy. It's a big robot over at-

 _The Reds and other targets are shown marked as hostiles on Cyclops' HUD._

 **Cyclops:** Negative. Motion tracker detects 16 hostiles.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Wait, what?

 _Cyclops aims at the Reds._

 **Cyclops:** D-d-deadly force authorized.

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** I'm not hostile! I'm a pacifist! Kill them!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Hey!

 **Cyclops:** E-engaging targets- t-targets...

 _Cyclops shuts down._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Damn. She ran outta diesel.

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** You converted it to diesel?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Of course. Looks like she needs a bigger fuel tank.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Fuck that! She needs to be thrown off a cliff!

 **Sarge:** Well, I don't see how that'll solve the fuel problem.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** : **Hey, guys... There's eleven of us in the canyon.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Wow, Charlotte. That's one more than ten! Good job, buddy.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** I dunno if I'd really count Dordoni.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** : **But she said sixteen.

 _Pause. Gunfire is heard at the other end of the canyon._

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Oh shit...

 _Cut to Locus' soldiers attacking Blue fires back from cover._

 **Rey:** Who the fuck are these guys?!

 _Di-Roy wanders around on the battlefield._

 **Di-Roy:** Why are we shooting off fireworks? Is it someone's birthday?

 **Washington:** Freckles, cover Di-roy!

 _Freckles crouches in front of Di-Roy, shielding him._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **(singing) Happy birthday to me

 _Cut to Findor standing up from cover._

 **Findor:** Stop shooting! We're friendly!

 _A few shots hit near Findor and he ducks down._

 ** **Findor** :** That's the opposite of what I said!

 ** **Rey** :** Fuck this!

 _Rey stands up and shoots one of the soldiers._

 **Washington:** Wait! We don't know who they are!

 **Rey** : They're the guys who are gonna kill us if we don't kill them first!

 **Washington:** ...Freckles, take them out!

 **Freckles:** Engaging targets.

 _Freckles fires his missiles and kills all three soldiers._

 **Freckles:** Primary threat eliminated.

 _Cut to Red Team rushing over._

 **Baraggan:** What in sam hill is goin' on!?

 **Nirgge:** Who were those guys?

 **Washington:** We don't know.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** They just showed up and started shooting!

 **Dordoni 2.0:** ( _translation_ ) Oh, man... I suddenly feel bad for not warning everyone.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Shut up, Dordoni. This isn't the time for jokes.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** And now I regret nothing.

 _A sniper's crosshair is seen lining up on Wash._

 **Washington:** Lets move inside. We need to find cover in case there's more hiding out in the-

 _Grimmjow jumps out and deflects the sniper shot with his hardlight shield._

 **Grimmjow:** Run!

 _Findor raises his gun._

 **Findor:** Look out! It's another one!

 _Grimmjow gets shot in the leg and crumples over._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Gah! SON OF A BITCH!

 ** **Findor** :** Wait. I'm confused.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** What are you doing?! I said run!

 **Locus:** Excellent work soldiers.

 _Locus uncloaks nearby._

 **Locus:** You killed my men. I suppose that makes you the real deal.

 ** **Findor** : **Okay, now I'm really confused.

 **Locus:** Quiet! All of you, come with me now.

 **Washington:** ...And why would we do that?

 **Locus:** Because if you don't come now I'll have to take you later.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Fuck off!

 **Locus:** You, shut your mouth and be glad I missed your head.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Of my god, you are such a douchebag!

 **Rey:** Yeah what he said!

 **Locus:** This is your last chance.

 **Washington:** ...Freckles!

 _Freckles fires at Locus but he cloaks and disappears._

 **Nirgge:** Holy shit, did you see that?

 **Di-Roy:** No! What happened?! Please describe it to me! Use only small words!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Um, any of you guys know how to patch up a leg?

 **Szayel:** I'll go get some orange juice.

 _Szayel walks off._

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Wait, that's a thing?


	16. Ep 16

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _FAQ!  
_

 _Fade in to the canyon. The Reds and the Blues are standing in line in front of Grimmjow, in the middle of the canyon. Cut to Szayel standing up in front of Grimmjow._

 **Szayel:** There, good as new.

 **Grimmjow:** I can't feel my toes.

 **Charlotte:** That's normal.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Is it?

 _Washington aims his rifle towards Grimmjow's face._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** H-hey, whoa!

 **Washington:** You need to start talking.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Hmm, aggressive, paranoid, and a little melodramatic—you must be Agent Washington.

 **Rey:** Ha! Melodramatic.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** And that means the rest of you are the Reds and the Blues.

 **Di-Roy:** Oh my God, how did he know that?!

 **Nirgge:** We're wearing red and blue armor.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** But how can he tell?

 ** **Nirgge** :** _(exasperated)_ Will somebody please fix his helmet?

 **Washington:** How do you know who we are?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Seriously? Come on man, everybody knows about you guys. You're heroes.

 **Baraggan:** Heroes?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** You're the team that brought down Project Freelancer. You're some of the galaxy's greatest soldiers.

 **Findor:** _(looks at the others)_ Well, I can see how you might think that.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Because it's absolutely true!

 **Szayel:** It's partially true.

 ** **Nirgge** :** But mainly false.

 **Washington:** Stop giving him information. _(to GRimmjow)_ What's your name?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Grimmjow.

 **Washington:** Okay, GRimmjow, what are you doing here?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Do you want the long answer or the short one?

 **Washington:** Do you want another bullet in your leg?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Hey, that bullet's there because of you.

 ** **Rey** :** He's got a point.

 **Washington:** _(lowers gun)_ Just...explain what's going on.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Uh yeah, like who were those guys that were trying to kill us?

 ** **Findor** :** And why haven't we been rescued yet?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Wait, where do you think you are?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** What do you mean?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** I mean, do you understand where you've crashed?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Well, we've been taking bets. Highest wager's currently on Bermuda Triangle. After that, we've got Gilligan's Island and purgatory.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** So stupid.

 **Charlotte:** No, just think about it. It makes perfect sense.

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** The reason no one's come to help you is the same reason no one's come to help them.

 _Cut to four white soldiers, dead on the ground._

 ** **Findor** :** Them?

 _Cut back to Grimmjow._

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** The people on this planet.

 **Washington:** What planet?

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** Chorus.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Never heard of it.

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** Well, I wouldn't expect you to. It's on the very edge of colonized space, and after the war between the humans and the aliens, it was more or less forgotten by Earth and the UNSC.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** We crashed in the middle of nowhere, on a planet in the middle of nowhere. Fucking beautiful, everybody.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** But how did we end up so far from home? _(camera focus on Baraggan)_ It should have been a short flight.

 _Cut to the inside of the spaceship, before the crash. Baraggan is seen tampering with the ship's engine._

 **Spaceship operator:** Sir, please, you can't be back here. These engines are delicate.

 **Baraggan:** Can it, Poindexter. No wonder this flight's taking so long! Who ever heard of delicate engines? These engines are supposed to be big. Loud. And terrible for the environment! Let's kick this baby into slipspace!

 **Spaceship operator:** Wait!

 _Alarms and flashing red lights go off. Cut back to the canyon._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Uh, one mystery at a time there, Findor.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** Now, being a small planet, completely free of UNSC jurisdiction, the nice little people of Chorus decided to run things on their own. The only problem was, they didn't do a very good job.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Ugh, history's the worst. Can you just get to the point?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** The point is, you've crash-landed _(cut to an overhead view of the canyon)_ in the middle of a civil war. _(back to Grimmjow)_ And I'm on the side that's trying to keep you alive.

 **Washington:** And which side is that?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** The New Republic. Essentially, a bunch of people got fed up with the way things were going on Chorus, so, they put together a rebel army and decided to fight for their freedom. It's all very patriotic.

 **Rey:** So, what? Does that make those guys _(cut to the dead white soldiers)_ the Evil Empire or something? _(back to Grimmjow)_

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** Yeah, you could say that.

 ** **Rey** :** Oh. Well, fuck.

 **Washington:** But why the attack? Why try to kidnap us?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************ :** It's like I said: you're the greatest soldiers in the galaxy. That makes you a pretty hot commodity. And I'd be lying if I said my shitty attempt at a rescue mission didn't have a few strings attached.

 ** **Baraggan** :** What kind of strings we talking here?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************ :** _(sighs)_ The rebels need your help. Once they heard that you were on Chorus, they sent me out with a small team to find you and bring you back. They're hoping you might be the key to winning this war.

 _The Reds and Blues look at each other for a moment._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Hmm, no.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************** :** _(surprised)_ No?

 _Cut to the top story of Blue Base, where everyone has moved._

 **Findor:** Yeah, no.

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah, that, that's not gonna work, for me.

 **Washington:** Look, Grimmjow, I hate to break it to you, but we're in no condition to fight a war.

 ** **Rey** :** All we want is a ride off this shitty planet. No offense.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow**************** :** Meh, it ain't my shitty planet.

 **Szayel:** Aren't you one of the rebels?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow**************** :** No, I'm a freelancer.

 _The Reds and Blues (except for Di-Roy) immediately aim their weapons at Grimmjow. Even Szayel raises his medical scanner._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow**************** :** _(quickly)_ No, I-I mean I'm a mercenary. You know, a gun for hire.

 _The group lower their weapons._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ :** Oh, thank God.

 **Washington:** They paid you to come find us?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow****************** :** They pay me to do lots of stuff, but yeah, you're my current paycheck.

 **Washington:** So you want us to go fight someone else's war, just so you can make some extra cash.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow****************** :** ...Uh, it's for a good cause?

 **Washington:** Right. We'll just take that ride out of here, if you don't mind.

 **Rey:** Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! Mediocrity.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Woohoo! Here's to not going that extra mile.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** You know, I wasn't alone when I came out here to find you. There were three of us. Just think about that.

 _Grimmjow turns and walks away._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Whatever. It's not like we asked them to save us.

 **Findor:** _(sarcastically)_ Yeah, we definitely didn't build a giant radio tower to send a distress signal or anything.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Shut up.

 _Grimmjow walks to the edge of the base and activates his radio._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** Headquarters, this is Grimmjow. I've made contact with the Reds and Blues.

 **Headquarters:** _(over radio)_ Holy shit, you found them? That's great! Um, what's your status?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** Not good. We ran into some Feds. I need an evac team.

 **Headquarters:** _(to himself)_ Dammit. _(to Grimmjow)_ Uh, Grimmjow, I can't just fly somebody out there.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** Yeah, I know, okay, but you send as many men as you can, as fast as you can. Locus has our position.

 **Headquarters:** Oh, no.

 ** **Rey** :** _(overhearing)_ Who's Locus?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** _(to Headquarters)_ Now I want to do this quiet, and I want to do it right. But just to be safe, bring a shitload of guns.

 **Headquarters:** Right. Sending reinforcements, sir.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** Roger. Grimmjow out.

 _Grimmjow ends his transmission, turns, and walks back to the Reds and Blues._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** So, what now?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******************** :** Now we work on making this canyon the most defendable hole in the ground the universe has ever seen.

 **Washington:** Why?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********************** :** Because we're about to get hit, hard. I need a detailed list of the supplies you've got on hand. Let's set up choke points, and mark potential sniper's nests.

 **Washington:** Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. We're not telling you anything. We still don't even know if we can believe you.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********************** :** Well, believe this: if we don't prepare for a fight, we might as well just be waiting for a massacre.

 **Washington:** _(bows head acceptingly)_ Rey, see if you can fix Di-Roy's helmet.

 **Di-Roy:** Yes, who said that!

 **Washington:** Sarge, you and the Reds build up an arsenal. If we can use it as a weapon, let's get it prepped.

 **Baraggan:** I can think of a few things that might come in handy.

 **Washington:** Grimmjow. You and I aren't done talking.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********************** :** Well all right then. Let's see if you guys are as good as they say.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** Prepare to be sorely disappointed.


	17. Ep 17

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Ready... Aim...!  
_

 _Baraggan is seen on top of Red base with the Red team assembled below._

 **Baraggan:** Alright, boys. We don't have much time, so let's see what we've got.

 _Cut to Findor._

 **Findor:** Ahem! Hello everyone. Private Findor. Great to be back.

 **Nirgge:** ( _offscreen_ ) Wrap it up!

 ** **Findor** :** Good to be back.

 ** **Nirgge** : **( _offscreen_ ) Nobody cares!

 ** **Findor** :** Sigh. Alright, just shut up and listen. We had a full armory onboard the ship consisting standard firearms and some explosives. I moved as many as I could down here and also took the liberty of setting up a minefield near Red base.

 _Cut to several unburied mines._

 ** **Nirgge** :** But you didn't even bury them.

 _Cut back to Findor._

 ** **Findor** :** From what I can tell, they're designed to rest above the ground.

 ** **Nirgge** :** With big red warning lights?

 ** **Findor** :** Yeah, it doesn't really make sense.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Excellent work, Findor. Now go and organize those firearms.

 ** **Findor** : **Yes, sir!

 _Findor runs off._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Nirgge, Doc, how are the teleportation tests going?

 **Szayel:** Well we've learned the cubes can be set to different frequencies. For example, if I throw a cube set to frequency A, it will absorb an object.

 _Szayel throws a cube at a traffic cone._

 ** **Szayel** :** If I then throw a second cube on frequency A, that object will reappear.

 _Szayel throws another cube and the cone returns._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Meanwhile if I have a cube set to B, I can throw it like so.

 _NIrgge throws a cube at a nearby crate._

 ** **Szayel** :** Yeah- ( _gets caught in the cube)_ Hey wait!

 _The crate and Szayel disappear._

 ** **Nirgge** : **I can then throw a second cube set to B, without ever messing with the stuff sucked up by the cube set to A.

 _Nirgge throws another cube. The crate reappears but there's no sign of Szayel._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** So all they do is teleport things? No explosions? No violence?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Nah.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Well I suppose we could make them absorb grenades. Then we could throw the grenade filled cubes back at the enemy.

 ** **Nirgge** :** At that point wouldn't it make more sense to just throw grenades?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** We're not here to make sense, Private! We're here to win! Now take Charlotte and figure out how to make your stupid cubes do somethin' usefull.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Sigh. Fine.

 _Nirgge and Charlotte leave._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** And at last we have the Dordonis. Stop standin' next to each other! I can never tell you two apart!

 _Dordoni 2.0 looks at Dordoni's head and then at Baraggan._

 **Dordoni 2.0:** _(translation)_ Are you fucking serious?

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** I need you two to get to work repairing CC's fuel tanks.

 ** **Dordoni** : **_(translation)_ Repair the malfunctioning robot?

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** The one that tried to kill everyone?

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** I can't wait to see her, triumphantly leading the charge on the front lines, glistening in the sunlight, with the blood of her fallen enemies!

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** That will be your blood! She thinks everything is her enemy, you moron!

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Wait a minute, this is a terrible idea!

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** Oh thank god.

 ** **Dordoni** :** Just wait.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** I can't trust an idiotic robot with a job as important as this!

 ** **Dordoni** :** There it is.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** EXCUSE ME!?

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Change of plans. You two go prep the work station, and then wait for me to arrive to do the job myself. I'm gonna go find my favorite welding torch.

 _Baraggan walks off. Cut to the Dordonis._

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:**...He's insane. _They're all insane_.

 ** **Dordoni** :** Hey, where's Doc?

 _Cut to Blue base. Cut to Rey backing up from Di-Roy._

 **Rey:** Okay, how's that?

 _Cut to Di-Roy with his helmet repaired._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Nope. Still can't see anything.

 ** **Rey** : **Open your eyes.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Oh my god, the graphics are incredible!

 ** **Rey** :** You're welcome.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Ah, thanks, Rey. Ah... Ya 'know we may have had our differences in the past. I have called you stupid... You have called me stupid... I have tried to kill you...

 ** **Rey** :** Uh huh.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** But ya'know at the end of the day, I like to think that you and I are actually _(muffled)_ really best friends.

 ** **Rey** :** What?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** _(muffled)_ What?

 ** **Rey** :** I can barely hear you.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** _(muffled)_ You can't hear me?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Dammit, I think fixing your visor somehow broke your radio.

 **Di-Roy:** _(muffled) Rey_ , can you hear me!

 ** **Rey** :** Just stand still.

 _Rey resumes repairing the helmet. Cut to Grimmjow and Washington watching them._

 **Washington:** So how bad is this?

 **Grimmjow:** The man coming for us is named Locus. He's a merc like me, only.. ya'know... terrifying.

 **Washington:** Locus?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Yeah. Guy's so far off the deep end he prefers to go by the name of his armor instead of the name he was born with. _(whistles)_

 **Washington:** That's unsettling.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(sarcastically)_ Oh, are you first name "Agent" last name "Washington"? That's so wierd!

 **Washington:** That's just...old habits.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Well, here's to hoping more of your old habits kick in when he shows up. You know I thought there'd be more of you. Weren't you with another Freelancer, and an A.I.?

 **Washington:** They disappeared not long after we crashed.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Sheesh. Any idea were they went?

 **Washington:** ...No.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Hmm. Well, if it makes you feel better I haven't heard anything about them over the radio. So...That's probably good.

 **Washington:** How was he able to cloak himself?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Huh?

 **Washington:** Locus. He turned invisible. How?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** The Federal Army's got all sorts of fancy stuff. I got my light shield off a dead soldier. _(turns on shield)_ Shum! _(turns off shield)_ Wah! Pretty cool.

 **Washington:** It's just that I've never seen that kind of equipment outside of Project Freelancer.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Welcome to the future, Wash. Technology is incredible, and everyone uses it to kill each other.

 **Washington:** Does that mean your guys have the same equipment?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I wish. The New Republic's barely getting by with what they can. You wouldn't happen to have any high-tech armor aboard that wreck, do you?

 **Washington:** Plenty of armor, just nothing out of the ordinary.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Hmm...Well at least you can accessorize? Eh? Try a little color combo? Mix it up? I...I'm sorry. I'm just trying to lighten the mood.

 **Washington:**...Actually...I think I might indulge in some of those old habits you were talking about. Follow me.

 _Wash walks off._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Man, you are just... cryptic. Like all the time, do you realize that?

 _Cut to Dordoni's head._

 **Dordoni:** _(translation)_ What are you doing?

 _Zoom out to reveal Dordoni 2.0 repairing Cyclops._

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(translation)_ Fixing the stupid robot so our stupid creator can get himself killed...stupidly.

 ** **Dordoni** :** Congratulations, kid. They've finally broken you.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** Shut up.

 ** **Dordoni** :** You know...It doesn't have to be this way.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** What do you mean?

 ** **Dordoni** :** If you fix CC she'll probably kill everyone.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** I don't care.

 ** **Dordoni** :** But if you upload me into her body I can make sure no one ever ignores us again.

 _Dordoni 2.0 stares at Cyclops._

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: **...Your're right. But why should I give _you_ her body? When I can take it for _myself_.

 ** **Dordoni** :** Wait. What?

 _Zoom in on the Reds and Blues in the fortified area around Blue base._

 **Charlotte:** Well, it just goes to show that with time, effort, and a little bit of elbow grease, we really can achieve wonders.

 **Rey:** We just spent hours turning this place into a warzone and you made me hate it in one sentence.

 **Nirgge:** It's what he does.

 **Washington:** Charlotte's got a point, though.

 _Cut to Washington and Grimmjow. Wash is wearing his old steel and yellow color scheme._

 **Washington:** I think we're ready.

 ** **Charlotte** :** Oooh. Back in black. Looks good, Wash.

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah that really brings back memories. Like when we first met. And then we met again and you shot Charlotte.

 **Washington:** I'm impressed, guys. This place looks good. And between the landmines, Freckles, and the tank...I don't think anything can stand a chance against us.

 _A missile hits the side of Blue base._

 **Baraggan:** _(off screen)_ RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

 **Findor:** Sarge?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh shit, they're here!

 **Washington:** Everyone, get ready!

 **Grimmjow:** Wait! Something's not right. Locus wouldn't attack like this!

 ** **Rey** :** Well who else on this planet wants us dead!?

 _Cut to Dordoni 2.0 chasing Baraggan with Cyclops' body._

 **Dordoni 2.0:** Yes! Yes! Look who's stupid now, Sarge! It's YOU!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Dos Point-O, cease fire! No mas! No mas!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Dos Point-O?

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** FIRING MAIN CANNONS. _(gets shot by Freckles)_ Ow!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Freckles!

 **Freckles:** Deadly force authorized.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: ** Oh great. The fucking dog wants to protect them now! Wonderful.

 **Charlotte:** Yes! Giant robot fight! Totally called that on Basebook.

 **Washington:** Everyone, just calm down!

 _Cut to Grimmjow deflecting a sniper shot with his shield._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Shit!

 _Cut to Locus reloading his rifle._

 **Locus:** Surrender now, and I promise only to kill the mercenary.

 ** **Findor** :** Well fuck.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **You and what army?

 _Several soldiers uncloak behind Locus._

 **Locus:** The Federal Army of Chorus.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Well, I guess I walked right into that one.

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Looks like backup isn't getting here in time!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Wash? What's the plan?

 _Washington raises his rifle._

 **Freckles:** Engaging target.

 _Wash fires his rifle._


	18. Ep 18

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Fire!  
_

 _Locus and two Federal Army soldiers are standing in the opening shot. A Battle Rifle shot resonates, and one of the soldiers fall. The other soldier begins to fire his Assault Rifle._

 **Washington:** Get to cover!

 _Wash charges forwards, and the Blood Gulch crew do the same. Nirgge takes cover behind a metal barricade and opens fire. Rey moves behind the barricade and prepares to engage. Findor and Baraggan dart behind the Scorpion tank, firing their weapons. The Federal Army soldiers rush forward, while Locus cloaks himself. Meanwhile, Freckles and Dorodni 2.0 are engaged in their own battle. Freckles fires a rocket, but Dorodni 2.0 ducks, the rocket sailing over his head._

 **Dordoni 2.0:** _(translated English)_ Missed, bitch!

 _Freckles responds by firing his minigun, landing some hits on Dordoni 2.0._

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0: **_(translated English)_ Ow!

 _Dordoni 2.0 retreats, while Freckles advances. Di-Roy looks towards him._

 **Di-Roy:** Freckles! Be careful!

 **Washington:** Damn it! We need something to draw their fire!

 _Baraggan and Findor emerge from behind the Scorpion._

 **Baraggan:** Findor?

 **Findor:** Shotgun!

 _More Federal Army soldiers rush forward, but stop when they see the Scorpion, piloted by Baraggan, and the turret manned by Findor._

 ** **Baraggan** : **"Tanks" for dropping by, dirtbags, but it's high time you left!

 _Baraggan unloads a round, which flies above the soldiers heads._

 ** **Findor** : **Still inverted, sir.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Right.

 _Baraggan aims his cannon at the soldiers, and fires a round, killing all of them at once._

 **Findor:** Woohoo! Yeah! Suck it... evil... soldier dudes!

 _Locus looks on the two, assessing the situation._

 **Locus:** Huh...

 _Locus pulls out a gun, identical to the one found by Nirgge and Szayel while they were on the ship, and cloaks. Meanwhile, a Warthog, mounted with a rocket launcher turret emerges from the tunnel and brakes behind three more Army soldiers, who have just decloaked._

 **Grimmjow:** Heavy artillery!

 **Rey:** What?! Where did that come from?

 **Washington:** They must be getting in through the caves.

 _Wash and Rey fall back towards Blue Base. Findor and Baraggan, still in the tank, fire a round at the Warthog which misses. The gunner turns, and prepares to fire the turret on the Scorpion._

 ** **Baraggan** : **Ruh-roh.

 _Out of nowhere, a teleportation cube lands underneath the Warthog, causing it to disappear. The soldiers standing in front of it look around in confusion, where the Warthog appears above them, causing the Warthog to fall and crush them._ Nirgge _emerges from an alcove._

 **Nirgge:** Boosh! Future cubes, bitches!

 _Wash and Charlotte pop up from behind cover._

 **Wash:** What was that?

 **Charlotte:** Future cubes! The cubes of the future!

 **Baraggan:** I still think they'd be better with grenades!

 ** **Nirgge** : **Kiss my ass!

 _Gunfire strikes the rock near Nirgge. He whimpers and ducks, moving back into the alcove. Wash and Di-Roy watch as the conflict unfolds, until they are distracted by a rocket impacting into the wall behind them. They turn to look at the two battle robots duking it out._

 **Di-Roy:** Freckles!

 _Dordoni 2.0 is being hit with minigun rounds._

 **Dordoni 2.0:** _(translated English)_ Stop shooting me and let me kill you!

 _Dordoni 2.0 fires a missile at Freckles, which hits, causing his shields to flare._

 **Freckles:** Shields critical.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Ah, we have to help him!

 **Wash:** Alright! Let's grab some explosives and...

 _Charlotte stands up._

 ** **Charlotte** : **Wait. I know what to do.

 _Charlotte runs past Wash and Di-Roy towards the two robots._

 **Wash:** What the... Just cover him!

 _Freckles takes another explosive, damaging him slightly, causing him to spark._

 **Freckles:** Shields failing.

 _Dordoni 2.0 walks forwards towards the damaged Freckles_.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(translated English)_ You should have joined me, Freckles. They would have bowed down to us as their Robot Overlords. But now... you must be destroyed.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** : **All right. That's enough!

 _Dordoni 2.0 spins his upper body round to face Charlotte, who is standing behind him, with a Magnum aimed at him._

 ** ** **Charlotte**** : **Don't make me hurt you.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(translated English)_ You? Hurt _me_? I'd like to see you try... _Pinky._

 ** ** **Charlotte**** : **_(translated English)_ I'm not pink. _I'm lightish-red_.

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(translated English)_ Wait. YOU SPEAK SPANISH?

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** : **_(translated English)_ Yes! Just not very well!

 _Charlotte throws a teleportation cube at Dordoni Dos.0's feet._

 ** **Dordoni** 2.0:** _(translated English)_ SON OF A BITCH.

 _The cube deactivates, and Dordoni 2.0 disappears. Charlotte turns around, and pitches the cube away. It arcs towards the minefield, where it lands, activating the mines and destroying Dordoni 2.0 and C.C._

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** : **_(translated English)_ Say hello to Robot Satan, you teriyaki pencil circus!

 _Cut to Rey, looking on the scene._

 **Rey:** Seriously, he has an incredible arm.

 _Nirgge appears behind him_.

 **Nirgge:** Okay, it wasn't a volcano, but I'm still taking credit for the idea!

 **Baraggan:** INCOMING!

 _The tank reverses up to Blue Base, showing signs of heavy damage. Washington appears behind them, while Baraggan and Findor continue to lay down fire._

 **Wash:** Sarge, are you okay?

 ** **Baraggan** : **Having the time of my life! The tank's pretty beat up.

 **Findor:** They just keep coming!

 _Locus decloaks behind a rock pillar, armed with the same gun he pulled out earlier and fires the round, which sticks to the front left tread of the tank._

 **Grimmjow:** Get out of the tank!

 _Baraggan and Findor comply, as the round begins beeping faster and faster. As Baraggan and Findor get clear, the round explodes, destroying the tank. Wash, Baraggan and Findor run back to Blue Base, whilst Nirgge looks at the burning chassis of the tank._

 **Wash:** Dammit!

 ** **Nirgge** : **Holy shit, those things explode?!

 _Charlotte runs up._

 **Charlotte:** Did you guys see me?

 **Wash:** Yes, now put those skills of yours to work and start tossing-

 _Wash ducks as a battle rifle round whizzes over his head._

 **Wash:** -some grenades.

 ** **Charlotte** : **On it!

 _Charlotte rushes to the gravity lift in Blue Base, which launches him up to the open area. He begins tossing frag grenades._

 ** **Charlotte** :** _You get a bomb, and you get a bomb, and you get a bomb, and you get a bomb._ (singing) _We all get bombs!_

 _Freckles begins walking back to Blue Base._

 **Freckles:** Energy levels critical.

 **Di-Roy:** Guys, Freckles is in trouble! Uh, he looks tired.

 _Wash, Rey, Findor and Baraggan are holding position._

 **Rey:** Fuck that! Hook him up to the ship! It's got plenty of power!

 _Findor stands up._

 **Findor:** Oh. I can do that!

 _He dashes towards Blue Base. Nirgge throws another teleportation cube._

 **Wash:** Grimmjow, where's that backup?

 **Grimmjow:** I don't know!

 _Grimmjow pulls up his holographic shield to deflect a sniper round. He deactivates it and begins firing his DMR at the attacker._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Fucking asshole!

 _Nirgge throws another teleportation cube._

 **Nirgge:** Uh, I'm running out of cubes!

 **Wash:** Just hold on a little longer, and we'll get Freckles back online.

 ** **Findor** : **_(calling from Blue Base)_ Uh, Wash? That might be a problem!

 _Wash growls in frustration and sprints towards Blue Base._

 **Wash:** I'll be right back! Cover me!

 ** **Rey** :** Okay.

 _Rey mans the nearby turret and begins to unload rounds, yelling incoherently as he does so._

 ** **Rey** :** _(yelling)_ SUCK MY BAAAAALLLSSS!

 _Wash walks up to Findor, who is standing at a computer._

 ** **Findor** : **I hooked up Freckles, but for some reason, he's not getting any power!

 **Wash:** What do you mean? We should have plenty!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **I know, but it's all being diverted somewhere else! I don't know what it could be.

 **Wash:** Well, where's it all going?

 _Fidnor types on the computer._

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Red Base?

 **Charlotte:** Uh-oh.

 _Wash and Findor turn to look at Charlotte._

 ** **Charlotte** :** I, uh, think I know what it might be.

 _The camera pans across the canyon, right to Charlotte's computer, which is still downloading the picture of Freckles. The download bar changes from 56% to 57%._

 **Wash:** DOWNLOADING A PICTURE ON BASEBOOK IS DRAINING OUR ENTIRE POWER SUPPLY?!

 ** **Charlotte** : **It's a very high-quality picture.

 **Wash:** HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **We've gotta cancel the download!

 _Cut to Locus, who is aiming his sniper rifle at a plasma grenade behind Charlotte._

 ** **Charlotte** : **But we're pinned down.

 **Locus:** Huh.

 ** **Charlotte** :** How are we suppose to-?

 _Locus fires at the grenade, which explodes and injures Charlotte, who screams in pain as he falls down._

 ** **Charlotte** :** Waaahhh!

 **Wash & **********Findor****** : **CHARLOTTE!

 _Wash and Findor immediately run to Charlotte and check his body._

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Is he dead?

 **Wash:** No, but he's unconscious.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **( _relieved_ ) Aw, good, because I did not want to go through that shit again.

 **Wash:** Grimmjow! We're a man down! Where is that backup!?

 **Grimmjow:** Uh, I don't know. They should be here in a few minutes!

 **Wash:** We don't have a few minutes!

 _Cut to Rey outside._

 **Wash:** _(yelling from inside)_ If we can't get Freckles online, we don't stand a chance!

 **Rey:** ( _sighs)_ Such bullshit!

 _Rey takes off towards Red base. Cut to Nirgge._

 **Nirgge:** Hey! Where are you going!?

 _Cut to Wash._

 **Wash:** Rey!

 _Rey runs, mirroring what he did in Wash's training course._

 _Rey shoots two federal soldiers behind cover. A federal soldier with a turret walks towards him with landmines between them. Rey jumps the mines and the soldier, turns around and shoots the mines, killing the soldier._

 _Rey runs for the Red base door. A soldier appears in the doorway._

 ** **Rey** :** Aaaannd ( _kills the soldier with his sword)_ SWISH!

 _Rey slashes the computer's screen, cancelling the download._

 ** **Rey** :** Fuck you, Basebook!

 _Cut to Wash and Fidnor in Blue base._

 **Findor:** He did it! We're getting power!

 _Freckles lifts his head._

 **Freckles:** Charging.

 _Cut to a federal soldier raising his rifle to Rey's head._

 **Federal Soldier:** Freeze!

 ** **Rey** :** Oh crap.

 **Federal Soldier:** You and your friends have caused us a lot of trouble. Now lay down your weapon-

 _The soldier is killed by a headshot._

 ** **Rey** :** What the hell?

 _Rey turns around and sees Dordoni (in Dos-point-O's body) reloading a Magnum._

 **Dordoni:** Pendejo

 ** **Rey** :** Dos-point-O?

 ** **Dordoni** :** _(translated english)_ No, idiot.

 ** **Rey** :** Dordoni! That was fucking awesome! Where'd you get that body?

 ** **Dordoni** :** _(translated english)_ I took it from an annoying moron.

 ** **Rey** :** I don't know what you just said, but that's great. Now let's get out of here!

 _Rey runs off._

 ** **Dordoni** : **_(translated english)_ Psh. "Dos-point-0". I'm Dordoni Alessandro Del Socaccio the Heavy. Bitch.

 _Cut to Freckles charging._

 **Freckles:** Shields twenty five percent.

 _Cut to various soldiers being killed. Cut to Baraggan firing his shotgun on top of a box._

 **Baraggan:** Ha-ha! Take that, you seemingly infinite number of soldiers!

 _Zoom out to Nirgge, who reloads._

 **Nirgge:** Yeah! How's it feel to get your asses kicked by a bunch of losers!? ...Wait.

 _Zoom out to Wash._

 **Wash:** Alright, everyone together! We can do this!

 _Cut to Locus aiming at Wash with a railgun in the distance._

 **Locus:** No. You can't.

 _Locus shoots Wash, knocking him to the ground. Cut to Rey and Dordoni._

 ** ** **Rey**** : **WASH!

 _Cut to Di-Roy._

 **Di-Roy:** Oh no!

 _Cut to Findro._

 **Findor:** Is he okay?

 _Back to Rey and Dordoni. Dordoni gets sniped and Rey ducks._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Shit!

 _Two snipers are shown shooting at Rey. Rey backs behind a rock._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Dordoni!

 **Dordoni:** _(translated english)_ Seriously?! I just got this fucking body!

 _Cut to Baraggan._

 **Baraggan:** You bastards stay away from my men! If anybody's gonna kill 'em it's gonna be me!

 _Locus uncloaks on a nearby roof and shoots Baraggan with the railgun, incapacitating him._

 ** **Baraggan** : **_(grunting)_ Uhhff!

 **Nirgge:** Sarge?!

 _Another rocket jeep rolls up in front of the Reds and Blues._

 **Grimmjow:** Incoming!

 _Freckles wakes up. He steps in front of the jeep. The gunner shoots Freckles. Freckles crumples over as flames and sparks shoot out of him._

 **Di-Roy:** Freckles! No!

 _There's a short silence. A series of rumbles and explosions are heard. The Reds and Blues look around. Cut to the tunnel near Blue base. There's an explosion within and a Rebel soldier emerges, before dozens more charge out yelling._

 **Rebel Soldier 1:** FOR THE NEW REPUBLIC!

 ** **Grimmjow** : **They're here! That's our backup!

 _Cut to the Federal snipers being killed. Cut to two Rebels reloading._

 **Rebel Soldier 2:** Suck it, you Fed scum!

 _Freckles stands up._

 **Freckles:** _(damaged)_ E-e-engaging-ging t-targets-s.

 _Freckles destroys the jeep and everything in his path. Grimmjow runs over to Nirgge, Findor and Di-Roy._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Get to the cave! We've gotta go!

 ** **Di-Roy** : **But what about Wash and Freckles!?

 **Findor:** Quick! Someone help me carry Sarge!

 _A Rebel Soldier walks over and is mowed down. Locus uncloaks and shoots another rebel before assassinating a third._

 **Rebel Soldier 3:** Wait! What th- ( _Locus breaks his neck)_ Gah!

 _Locus approaches the Reds and Blues, reloading his SAW._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **There's no time! Get outta here!

 _Grimmjow deflects some shots with his shield._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **But-

 **Nirgge:** Di-Roy, come on!

 _Nirgge, Di-Roy and Findor run past Rey into the cave._

 **Rey:** What are you doing? Where's Wash?

 ** **Findor** : **He's still at the base!

 ** **Rey** : **What!?

 _Grimmjow stops next to a rebel._

 **Rebel Soldier:** Sir! If we leave now, they'll just follow us back to headquarters!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** : **Aw, shit! Someone get me some explosives!

 _Grimmjow runs for the cave. Rey sees Wash getting up._

 ** **Rey** : **Wait, guys! There he is!

 _Wash gets up and grunts in pain._

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Wash! Wash, come on!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** We've gotta seal this tunnel!

 _Wash slowly looks around and sees several rebels dying around him. He looks at the cave, then Freckles._

 **Wash:** Freckles! Shake!

 _Freckles violently stomps his foot down. The ground starts shaking._

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Hey, no! What're you doing?!

 _The tunnel entrance collapses and Wash breaths a sigh of relief before Locus knocks him out from behind._


	19. Ep 19

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Lost, But Not Forgotten!  
_

 **Medic** : ( _off screen_ ) He's waking up.

 _Rey opens his eyes and sees Grimmjow and a New Republic medic staring at him._

 **Grimmjow** : Woah woah woah, easy now. You've been knocked out for a while. Just take it easy, there's nothing to worry about. You're safe, Rey.

 **Rey** : Ugh, what?

 **Grimmjow** : You took a rock to the back of the head. Good news is, we made it back to base undetected.

 **Rey** : Back to base?

 **Grimmjow** : Welcome to the New Republic.

 _Camera pans up, revealing the New Republic's underground base._

 **Rey** : Grimmjow, what the fuck is going on? Where is everyone?

 **Grimmjow** : Nirgge, Findor, and Di-Roy are up in the main compound.

 **Rey** : Well what about everyone else? What about Sarge? What about Wash?

 **Medic** : Umm... I'm gonna go.

 _The medic leaves._

 **Grimmjow** : Thanks, doc.

 **Rey** : Dude, do not fuck with me right now.

 **Grimmjow** : We had to leave them, Rey.

 **Rey** : What?

 **Grimmjow** : Look, the Feds were closing in. If we stayed any longer they would have taken you too.

 **Rey** : No! That's bullshit!

 **Grimmjow** : That's war, Rey! Not everyone makes it back! You guys put up a good fight. I can see why Harribel wanted you.

 **Rey** : Who the fuck is Harribel?

 **Tia Harribel** : I am. Tia Harribel, leader of the New Republic. I'm very glad to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances.

 **Rey** : Uh, yeah.

 **Harribel** : Your friends are waiting for you up near the mess hall. It's just north of here. Why don't you go catch up? We'll talk later.

 **Rey** : Yeah.

 _Rey leaves._

 **Harribel** : You're not getting paid the full amount.

 **Grimmjow** : I know.

 **Harribel** : You're lucky you're getting paid at all.

 **Grimmjow** : I know!

 **Harribel** : Are they as good as we hoped?

 **Grimmjow** : I think so. Either that or they're just really lucky.

 **Harribel** : Well they probably don't feel very lucky.

 _Harribel leaves. Cut to Di-Roy, Nirgge, and Findor outside the closed mess hall._

 **Findor** : It's a small rebel army, Nirgge.

 **Nirgge** : It's poor customer service.

 **Findor** : You were eating everything!

 **Nirgge** : I'm an emotional eater! What can I say?

 _Rey approaches them._

 **Di-Roy** : Rey?

 **Rey** : Hey.

 **Nirgge** : Sup.

 **Rey** : Man, what the fuck is going on?

 **Findor** : After you were knocked out, we were taken to this huge cave somewhere beneath the jungle.

 **Rey** : These guys live in a cave?

 **Findor** : They're rebels! Of course they live in a cave! It's hidden.

 **Nirgge** : Nah, I'm with Rey. I was expecting some badass snow base or something.

 **Findor** : What? Why?

 **Nirgge** : That's what they had in _Star Wars_!

 **Findor** : How is that even relevant?

 **Nirgge** : Tell me this is not just like _Star Wars_. Tell me.

 **Di-Roy** : Rey does have a glowing sword...

 **Nirgge** : REy has a glowing sword, Findor!

 **Rey** : Man, we're really all that made it?

 _The four sadly lower their heads. Grimmjow emerges from atop a boulder._

 **Grimmjow** : Hey, something's come up. Follow me.

 _Findor, Di-Roy, Nirgge, and Rey follow Grimmjow. Cut to two soldiers_

 **New Republic Soldier A** : Dude, I'm telling you, it's them!

 **New Republic Soldier B** : Woah, maybe we're not fucked.

 _Cut to Harribel speaking with the Reds and Blues_

 **Harribel** : Di-Roy Linker, Nirgge Parduoc, Findor Carias, and Rey Tiburon. The four of you have traveled great distances, retrieved ancient artifacts, brought corrupt men to justice, and bested the most dangerous war criminals this galaxy has ever known. And now it seems fate has brought you to our doorstep.

 **Nirgge** : No pressure.

 **Harribel** : I am aware that you've been informed of our situation, and I understand your reluctance to fight a war that is not your own, but we've just received word that the Federal Army has your friends alive and in captivity.

 **Rey** : They're okay?!

 **Findor** : What's gonna happen to them?

 **Harribel** : We're not sure. But, if they're alive, it means they can be rescued. And, it means this war may become yours after all.

 **Nirgge** : Ah, shit.

 **Harribel** : So, I'm going to make you a promise. if you help us take back our planet, we'll help you take back your friends. And when it's all over, you can take our best ship, and fly as far away from this place as you want. I know it's not the best offer, but what do you say?

 **Nirgge** : Look, lady. I don't know what you think we can do, but I seriously doubt we can actually do it.

 **Harribel** : This war has gone on for too long. Too many people have died, and our remaining soldiers are young, inexperienced, and scared. But you give them hope. They've heard what you've done and they will look to you for guidance; they will run with you into battle, they will follow your orders, if you choose to lead them. I can't do this alone.

 **Findor** : Sarge is gone. Wash is gone. How the hell are we supposed to do this without them?

 **Rey** : Yeah, none of us have ever lead anyone before.

 **Di-Roy** : Well, not for very long.

 **Harribel** : I know, but…you just need to try.

 _Cut to Rey, Di-Roy, Nirgge, and Findor walking out towards New Republic soldiers. The soldiers wait for their command._

 **Rey** : Hmm... Alright, lets run some drills!

 **Nirgge** : Aww man!

 **Di-Roy** : And break!

 _Fades in to reveal Locus speaking to his superior through a computer screen._

 **Locus** : We searched Crash Site Bravo, Sir.

 **Computer** : And?

 **Locus** : The crate was recovered, intact and completely sealed.

 **Computer** : Wonderful news.

 **Locus** : However, it looks as if they tried to blast it open. Do you think they knew?

 **Computer** : Highly unlikely. Report back to control as soon as possible, Locus.

 **Locus** : Are you sure keeping them alive is the best course of action?

 **Computer** : Do you feel threatened by the simulation troopers, Locus?

 **Locus** : Of course not.

 **Computer** : Then we will continue with our endeavors as previously discussed. Do I make myself clear?

 **Locus** : _(suspicious)_ Yes sir.

 _Cut to Carolina inside an unknown location._

 **Carolina** : Good, I'll be there before you know it.

 **Well, everyone Season 11 is done and we got Arturo, Grimmjow, and our favorite woman Harribel in to the series. More action, surprises, and characters will appear in season 12. Everyone please review and like if you like to read more Ok.**


	20. Ep 20

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Oh Captains, My Captains!  
_

 _Voices are heard conversing over the radio._

 **Tesla:** ( _voice over_ ) Red team, this is Blue team. We are in position, how copy? Over.

 **Findor's Lieutenant:** ( _voice over_ ) Blue team, this is Red team. I copy, Blue in position. Over.

 ** **Tesla** : **( _voice over_ ) Gold team, this is Blue team. All units are in position and awaiting further instructions, what is your status? Over.

 _Gold team doesn't answer._

 ** **Tesla** : **( _voice over_ ) Gold team 2-3, this is Blue team 1-2. Radio check, over.

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** : **( _voice over_ ) Uh yeah, we're here Blue team.

 ** **Tesla** : **( _voice over_ ) Gold team, I repeat, what is your status? Over.

 ** **Dondochakka** :** ( _voice over_ ) Uhhh...We're pretty good?

 ** **Tesla** : **( _voice over_ ) What?

 ** **Dondochakka** :** ( _voice over_ ) Actually, uh, we were wondering if we could maybe change our name to, uh, Orange team.

 ** **Tesla** : **( _voice over_ ) What difference does it make?!

 _Cut to Nirgge on the radio._

 **Nirgge:** You tell them it makes a big difference Bitters, because I am orange! I am not gold! I am not yellow! I am fucking orange!

 ** **Findor** : **Nirgge!

 _Nirgge turns to look at Findor and Di-Roy standing beside a door._

 ** **Findor** : **Get off the radio. The teams are fine.

 ** **Nirgge** : **The teams suck.

 ** **Findor** : **You're gonna blow our cover.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Uhhh. Alright we'll be Gold.

 _Nirgge flips Findor off and speaks on radio._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Go tell the Blue team to suck a dick and then get in position.

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** Whatever you say, Captain.

 _ **PLANET CHORUS. FORMER MINING FACILITY.**_

 _Nirgge walks up to where Findor and Di-Roy are._

 ** ** **Findor**** :** We're infiltrating an enemy base and you're bitching about colors?

 ** **Nirgge** :** It's a misleading title, people could get confused!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Oh shut up!

 _Findor faces the security door behind him and crouches._

 **Di-Roy:** No he's right, I'm confused.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Di-Roy, you're always confused.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Well that sounds confusing.

 _Findor uses some sort of hacking tool to hack the passcode lock._

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Whoo. Okay doors opening in approximately fifteen seconds.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Yeah, yeah.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Oh man, what if this doesn't work?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Probably won't.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **What if it's a trap?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Probably is.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **What would Sarge say in a time like this?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Shut it Findor.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Probably. Yeah.

 _Passcode beeps in: PASSWORD12_

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Here we go.

 _The door opens. Di-Roy sprints inside yelling and unloads a full assault rifle clip into the wall. Cut to reveal that Di-Roy has written "D-ROY" in bullet holes on the wall._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **Did we win?

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** ( _sighs_ ) No. Apparently we've unlocked one of several security doors.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Oh, so I talk on the radio and it's jeopardizing the mission, but that happens and everything's fine?

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** ( _whispering_ ) Shush Nirgge. They might hear you.

 _Second door beeps open._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** : **( _voice over_ ) Door opening.

 _Di-Roy once again rushes forward, yelling and firing._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **( _sighs_ )

 ** ** ** **Dondochakka****** : **( _over radio_ ) Captain Nirgge, we have visual on the main compound, over.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Whats it look like?

 _Cut to_ _Dondochakka and two other gold team members on a cliff looking down onto the enemy base._

 ** ** ** **Dondochakka****** : **Well on a scale from 1 to 10... I'd say we're pretty fucked.

 _Cut to Di-Roy's Lieutenant and another blue team member behind some crates._

 **Tesla:** Stow that kind of talk Dondochakka. Our C.O.'s put a lot of effort into this plan, so why don't you show a little faith?

 _Cut to Findor and Nirgge sneaking down a hallway._

 ** **Tesla** : **Right Captain Di-Roy?

 _Camera follows Nirgge and Findor down a hall to where Di-Roy is standing._

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** : **Yes.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** Alright we're almost there. Is everyone ready?

 **All of the Lieutenants:** Ready.

 _Di-Roy randomly appears standing in the same position as before._

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** : **Ready.

 **Findor's Lieutenant:** ( _voice over_ ) Captain Fidnor, Sung-sun has something to say to you.

 ** **Findor** :** Uh.. Yes Sung-sun.

 _Cut to Sung-sun and another red team member hiding behind a wall looking at a Warthog with two enemy soldiers near it._

 **Sung-sun:** I just wanted to say that no matter what happens, it's been a honor working with you sir.

 ** **Findor** : **( _awkwardly_ ) Uh.. thank... you lieutenant. That is.. yes. Uh ( _clears throat_ ) Affirmative... Over.

 _Cut back to Nirgge and Di-Roy._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **What the fuck was that?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **What?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **Did you just stroke out for a second? You sounded like Di-Roy.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy********** :** Um if he's me can I be him?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **Shut up.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy************ : **Look at me I'm smart. I like slide rules and protractors. Oh I can't wait to do some protracting.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **So I still have problems talking to girls. Big deal.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Yeah. It is especially when your squad consists entirely of girls. Now man up!

 ** ** ** **Findor****** : **Oh man this is just like junior high all over again.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** What?

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** : **Why do I have to play in the womens leauge I wanna be a mathlete dad! A mathlete!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy************** : **Yeah, I don't want to be Findor anymore.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** : **Goddamn it do I have to do everything around here? (o _ver radio_ ) Everybody get ready. We're going on my mark. 3. 2. 1.

 _Nirgge, Findor, and Di-Roy run around corner and stop. Cut to reveal four Federal Army of Chorus soldiers._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** : **...Every man for himself! AAHHHHH!

 _Nirgge, Findor, and Di-Roy flee in different directions, shooting randomly._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** : **Shield me with your bodies! It's important that I live!

 _Cut to_ _Dondochakka and gold team on the cliff._

 ** ** ** ** **Dondochakka******** : **Wait what? Whats going on?

 **Other Gold team member:** Supressing fire! ( _starts shooting at a soldier operating a turret_ )

 _The soldier on the turret turns and begins to fire on Gold team, who start to back up and fall backwards off the cliff._

 **New Republic Soldiers:** Reinforcements on our way!

 _Gold team fall down and land on top of the reinforcements._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Dondochakka********** : **Nirgge.

 _Cut to Di-Roy running across the battlefield yelling and shooting_

 **Tesla:** Captain Di-Roy NOOOO! ( _runs after Di-Roy_ )

 _Cut to a warthog driven by Sung-sun and another red team member._

 **Sung-sun:** Don't worry, we're coming!

 _Warthog drives out and runs over Tesla._

 ** **Sung-sun** : **Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Why are there so many pedals on this thing?!

 _Cut to the middle of battlefield where Findor and Nirgge are running around yelling indistinctly. Suddenly an alarm buzzes and everyone stops. Harribel walks out._

 **Harribel:** What the hell was that?!

 _Cut back to Nirgge and Fidnor. Di-Roy runs up yelling behind them and soon stops._

 **Di-Roy:** Oh we stopped.

 ** **Harribel** : **What is the point of these training excersises if you people aren't going to work together?

 **Findor:** But we did! We had team names and everything!

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Nirgge was gold!

 **Nirgge:** Orange!

 ** **Harribel** : **You had a plan you were organized but once again you crumbled under pressure. ( _sighs_ ) Lieutenants, debrief with your COs, everyone else, round up all training weapons and uniforms. That's enough capture the flag for today.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Whoa, and what the hell are we supposed to say? " _Hey guys, sorry you still suck. Turns out we suck too!_ " At least we have something in common.

 **Harribel:** Tell them what they need to hear. Tell them that they can do this, and that next time they will be better.

 **Findor:** So you want us to lie to them?

 ** **Harribel** : **No. I don't.

 _Harribel walks off._

 **Sung-sun:** You... wanted to talk to us, sirs?

 **Nirgge:** ( _sighs_ ) I hope Rey has it better than this.

 _ **F.A.C. OUTPOST 22**_

 _Cut to a sniper rifle scope aiming at a Federal Army of Chorus soldier operating a turret._

 **Rey:** ( _voice over_ ) Hey Grimmjow.

 _Cut to show Rey, Grimmjow, Pesche, and two other soldiers in a tunnel._

 ** **Rey** : **You think I could have a turn with that sniper rifle?

 **Grimmjow:** Absolutely not.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Unhh.

 **Pesche:** Uh.. sometimes I.. like to take my hands and cup them around my eyes. Like little hand binoculars.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Shut the fuck up Pesche.

 **Well, everyone Season 12 and here you go. Many new characters off the bat and I hope I pick out good ones. Please review and tell me what you think please.**


	21. Ep 21

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Hit and Run!  
_

 _Fade in to a shot of a tree, with the sun shining in the background._

 _ **F.A.C. OUTPOST 22**_

 _Cut to Grimmjow standing before Rey and his squad._

 **Grimmjow:** It doesn't look good, guys. They've really beefed up their security.

 **Jerome:** Why? What's goin' on?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Well, it could be that someone from up top is coming to visit. Ooor it could be a response to the weapons I stole from this place a few weeks ago.

 **Rey:** _(sarcastically)_ Geez, I wonder which one it is.

 **Pesche:** Uughh...I think it's pretty obvious that it's the weapons...

 ** **Rey** :** Stop talking.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** We're gonna have to go with to Plan B.

 ** **Rey** :** Wait, whaddya mean? What's Plan B?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** We plant C4, we leave and then we blow this outpost to hell.

 ** **Rey** :** What!?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** It's a standard hit and run. I've done it a million times, we'll be fine.

 ** **Rey** :** Uh, actually no we'll not be fine. I thought we came here to gather intelligence? That's gonna be pretty fucking difficult when their computer system is in about forty thousand pieces!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Okay, I understand you wanna save your friends. I do. Really. But data retrieval is no longer an option. Once we find out where they're holding Wash and the others, the New Republic will do everything they can to save them. _(sighs)_ But today isn't that day.

 ** **Rey** :** _(sighs)_ Yeah, whatever.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Now, we've only got one active camo unit. Rey, that goes to you. It's a little damaged, so try not to run it constantly. Only when you need to disappear. Got it?

 ** **Rey** :** Got it.

 **Grimmjow:** As for they rest of you, that's up to your Captain...

 _Rey looks at his squad._

 ** **Rey** :** Ooooh. Right!

 _Rey then whips out his sword._

 _Cut to two Fed specialists pulling up in a warthog and entering the cave. They inspect a cable that Rey cut._

 **Fed specialist 1:** Ah, here's the problem. The rats must have chewed through the wire.

 **Fed specialist 2:** That is a military grade reinforced power cable. What kind of rats are you talkin' about?

 **Fed specialist 1:**...Space rats?

 **Fed specialist 2:**...Yeah I could see that.

 _Jerome and_ _Tetsuzaemon knock out the two._

 **Fed specialist 1:** Aagh! The back of my head!

 _Cut to a Rebel helmet being tossing into an armor pile._

 ** **Rey** :** Perfect!

 _Cut to Jerome and_ _ _Tetsuzaemon_ in Federal armor._

 ** **Rey** :** Now, you look just like the rest of those assholes.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** That was stupidly fortunate.

 ** **Rey** :** Waddya mean?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I mean, what if we had ended up with two really fat bad guys? What size are you, Tetsuzaemon? Like a medium?

 **Tetsuzaemon:** Youth extra large, Sir.

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** See? Whole plan. Whole plan would've been ruined. Just 'cause you watch something on TV, you think that it's good idea?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** You don't? _(to_ _Tetsuzaemon)_ Also, really man? Youth extra large?

 ** **Tetsuzaemon** :** It's very sliming, Sir.

 **Pesche:** Heeeey uhhh. What about me? Do I get a disguise?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** No. pesche, you'll be guarding our escape rout.

 ** **Pesche** :** Oh, okay.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** It's because I don't trust you.

 ** **Pesche** :** Got it.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Honestly, if you were out in the field, you'd probably get all of us killed.

 ** **Pesche** :** I can totally see that. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be me.

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** Alright. Let's get to work...

 _Cut to the four of them sneaking into the outpost. Grimmjow sneaks off to the side, while Jerome,_ _ _Tetsuzaemon,_ and an invisible Rey walk further into the base._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(sighs)_ Okay, just play it cool.

 **Jerome:** You- you really think this plan is gonna work? I know the Reds and Blues are supposed to be like war heroes. But, they all seem kinda dumb.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** ( _voice only_ ) Dude, I'm invisible, not deaf.

 ** **Jerome** :** Oh... Sorry, Sir.

 _Pan to Grimmjow._

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** _(over radio)_ Okey dokey, boys. Everyone take your modified sticky detonators, find something that looks expensive and strap a bomb to it. Once you're done head back to the cave.

 ** **Jerome** :** _(over radio)_ You sure you're gonna be okay out there in your armor, Sir?

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** _(chuckles)_ Don't worry about me, kid.

 _A Federal trooper appears behind Grimmjow._

 **Fed trooper:** Freeze!

 _Grimmjow quickly pulls out his knife and throws it. Cut to a rear view of the Fed getting stabbed and falling over. Grimmjow clenches his fist in a "yes!" gesture._

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** I am fucking awesome.

 _Cut to Rey uncloaking by a building with his detonator._

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Okay, bomb. Do me a favor and don't go off in my face. _(looks to his side)_ Am I right? ...Who am I talking to?

 **Fed trooper 1:** ( _voice only_ ) So, he's really here?

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** _(whispering)_ Shit.

 _Rey peeks around the corner at two Feds talking._

 **Fed trooper 2:** Yep, just came in from the city.

 **Fed trooper 1:** They still got the Freelancer up there?

 **Fed trooper 2:** I dunno. Look it up inside.

 **Fed trooper 1:** Fuuuuck that. I'm not gonna let him catch me slacking off.

 _The troopers run off._

 **Rey:** _(whispering)_ Wash.

 **Grimmjow:** _(over radio)_ Rey, what's your status?

 ** **Rey** :** Good. Good. Aaalmost done.

 _Cut to a fed monitoring a computer inside a lab. Rey raises his detonator to the back of the soldier's head._

 ** **Rey** :** Don't move!

 **Fed:** _(turning)_ What the?

 ** **Rey** :** I said don't move! Turning is moving!

 **Fed:** _(turns back)_ Uurgh...

 ** **Rey** :** Okay, I want like a hard drive or something. With base locations and classified shit. And any info you've got on Agent Washington and the other dudes you kidnapped awhile back.

 **Fed:** Okay. Just take it easy.

 **Jerome:** _(over radio)_ Captain, we're almost done. Where are you?

 ** **Rey** :** I'm in the lab. Give me a sec.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(over radio)_ You're what!?

 ** **Rey** :** Dude, chill out. I got this.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Are you fucking kidding me! I specifically told you not to- _(Rey cuts off the transmission)_

 ** **Rey** :** Thank you, mute button.

 **Fed:** Alright. The data is copying over onto a flash drive.

 ** **Rey** :** Sweet.

 _Rey knocks out the soldier._

 ** **Rey** :** Ha ha! Look who's dumb now!

 _Tetsuzaemon comes up behind Rey._

 ** ** **Tetsuzaemon**** :** Hey.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** I surrender!

 ** ** **Tetsuzaemon**** :** No, sir. It's me, Tetsuzaemon.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Oh, right.

 ** ** **Tetsuzaemon**** :** You turned off your radio. Everything okay?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Yeah, sorry. I was kinda in the middle of something.

 ** ** **Tetsuzaemon**** :** Well, we've gotta go. Like now.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Yeah, absolutely. _(looks at the download)_ Just one more minute.

 ** ** **Tetsuzaemon**** :** Sir, but I think the Feds are onto us.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Okay okay. We can gooooooooo...

 _The download completes. Rey grabs the drive and cloaks._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** ...Now!

 _A shotgun blast is heard, followed by the sound of_ _ _Tetsuzaemon's_ body and an empty shotgun shell dropping to the floor. Cut to Locus lowering his shotgun, with two Fed troopers standing beside him. Rey crouches._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** _(whispering)_ Oh shit.

 _Locus steps forward and examines_ _ _Tetsuzaemon's_ body._

 **Pesche:** _(over radio)_ Tetsuzaemon? Everything okay? Uh Iba? Man, what's going on? Uuuhh guys? Tetsuzaemon isn't responding.

 **Locus:** We've been infiltrated. Sound the alarm.

 _The two Fed troopers leave the lab. Locus glances at the "transfer complete" computer display and the Fed Rey knocked out. Locus raises his gun and slowly walks forward. Cut to Locus approaching from Rey's point of view. "Equipment Malfunction" flashes on Rey's HUD. Locus hears an explosion and turns around right as Rey's camo fails._

 **Locus:** Grrrrr...

 _Locus leaves the lab. Rey looks at the bodies of_ _Tetsuzaemon and the Fed trooper._

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** _(quietly)_ Ah, fuck...

 **Grimmjow:** _(Over radio)_ Goddammit! Everyone move! We are aborting the mission!

 _Cut to three Feds searching on top of a building. A bomb explodes and sends them flying. Cut to Grimmjow behind a crate as more bombs explode and Feds run around in the background._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I detonated some of the C4 as a distraction, so get out of there!

 _Cut to Jerome planting a bomb in a hallway and running off._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(over radio)_ There's a good chance they'll be searching for, and disarming the bombs.

 **Jerone:** Ah, man...

 _As Jerome runs out a trooper running by stops him._

 **Fed trooper 3:** Hey, you! Stop!

 ** **Jerome** :** Uuuh...Yes?

 **Fed trooper 3:** You're a specialist, right? Come on man we need your help.

 ** ** **Jerome**** :** Oh...Great.

 _Cut to Rey running up a hill. Three Feds pass behind him._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Shit!

 _Rey keeps running through the base with chaos all around him._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

 _Rey runs into the cave and comes face to face with Pesche._

 **Pesche:** Rey!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** _(Jumping back)_ Jesus, dude!

 ** **Pesche** :** Are you okay? What happened?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** No! I mean yes! Where's Grimmjow and Jerome?

 _Cut to Rogers and several Feds standing around a bomb._

 **Fed trooper 3:** Here.

 **Jerome:** Oh.

 **Fed trooper 3:** You can disarm this, right?

 ** **Jerome** :** Well, I ugh...No I...

 **Fed trooper 4:** Waddya mean "no"!? This is your job!

 ** **Jerome** :** Right, no I know ugh...I know.

 **Random Fed:** _(voice only)_ Intruder!

 _Cut to Grimmjow running from a hail of bullets. He hides from three troopers behind a tree. Taking a deep breath, he jumps out and deflects their shots with his shield then shoots each soldier. Cut to another Fed charging at Grimmjow._

 **Fed:** Yaaaaaaaaggghhh!

 _The scene goes into slow motion as Grimmjow kicks the soldier's legs out from under him._

 **Grimmjow:** Right.

 _Grimmjow backs up to Rey and Pesche at the cave entrance._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Talk to me people! Where's Jerome?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************** :** Not here!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Tetsuzaemon?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************** :** ...Locus got him.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Locus is here!?

 _Locus is seen uncloaking through Grimmjow's scope. Pesche ducks Locus' sniper shot._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Run!

 **Palomo:** What about Jerome!?

 _Grimmjow pulls out his detonator._

 **Grimmjow:** Get down!

 **Rey:** No wait!

 _Grimmjow pulls the trigger. All bombs start beeping. Cut to Jerome and the Feds._

 **Jerome:** Oh son of a bi-

 _The bomb explodes._


	22. Ep 22

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Something Else Entirely!  
_

 _Fade in to the New Republic headquarters, where a Republic soldier is seen working on a warthog. Cut to Nirgge speaking to a crowd of Republic soldiers._

 _ **NEW REPUBLIC HEADQUARTERS HQ**_

 **Nirgge:** Boom! Huge explosion, you wouldn't believe it! He just shook it off though like it was nothing and he comes right at us!

 **Crowd:** Ooooohh!

 ** **Nirgge** :** He cuts our rocket launcher in half, so Rey goes in for a stab, but nothing's working. That's when I knew what to do.

 **Crowd:** Ahh!

 ** **Nirgge** :** I throw myself on top of him, taking him completely by surprise, but he has the strength of ten men!

 _Close up on Nirgge._

 ** **Nirgge** : **No, ten bears!

 **Crowd:** Ohh! That's pretty cool... Bears are strong...

 ** **Nirgge** :** This guy's invincible. It looked like nothing was gonna stop him.

 **Republic Soldier 1:** What did you do?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Huh? Oh, uhh we tied a car to him and threw it off a cliff.

 **Republic Soldier 2:** ...That is the most metal thing I've ever heard.

 ** **Nirgge** : **So the moral of the story is, you never know when random, seemingly unimportant, stuff will turn out to be very important. Which is why you shouldn't question me when I tell you to build me something like a hammock, or...a human slingshot.

 _Findor approaches Nirgge._

 **Findor:** Nirgge, what are you doing?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Just tellin' these guys how we took down the Meta.

 ** **Findor** :** Why?

 ** **Findor** 's Lieutenant:** ( _to Findor_ ) Is it true Findor? Did he really growl like some sort of...monster?

 **Sung-sun:** And did he really have the strength of ten bears?

 ** **Findor** :** Uh...I uh- um...more like, uh, you know, twenty bears.

 ** **Sung-sun** : **Wow!

 ** **Findor** 's Lieutenant: **So hot!

 ** **Nirgge** :** _That_ is why.

 ** **Findor** :** ( _sighs_ ) You're spending _way_ too much time with Rey.

 _An intercom activates. Harribel speaks._

 **Harribel:** ( _over intercom_ ) Nirrge, Findor, and Di-Roy, report to my office immediately.

 _The intercom deactivates._

 ** **Nirgge** : **Well guys, it looks like that's it for today. Run along.

 _Cut to a view of the crowd. Di-Roy is suddenly seen among them._

 **Crowd:** Awwwww.

 **Di-Roy:** I like the part with the bears.

 _Cut to Harribels office where Rey is seen inside, looking at the ground. Di-Roy, Nirgge, and Findor run towards him._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Rey!

 **Rey:** If you hug me, I will shoot you.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Ah it's okay Rey. I-I know you're more into groping. Come on, let's grope.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** When'd you'd get back?

 ** **Rey** : **A little while ago.

 **Findor:** What happened?

 _Grimmjow emerges from behind the ramp._

 **Grimmjow:** Oh, I'll tell you what happened. Captain Rey here decided to disobey orders and and took it upon himself to recover a hard drive full of Federal Army secrets. A decision that only cost him the lives of two of his men.

 _Brief pause._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** That's a pretty damn good trade if I do say so myself!

 ** **Rey** :** ( _surprised_ ) What?

 ** **Grimmjow** : **( _laughs_ ) Man, you should've seen this guy! ( _raises DMR_ ) He was all, ( _in deep voice_ ) " _I don't play by the rules!_ " ( _regular voice_ ) Fucking James Bond and shit all over the place! It was crazy! ( _lowers DMR_ )

 ** **Rey** :** Wait, I thought you were pissed?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _lowers DMR_ ) Oh, do not get me wrong, I wanted to beat your worthless skull into the ground until it was paste. But look where we are now, you took a risk and it paid off.

 ** **Rey** :** 'Paid off?!' Dude, two of our guys are dead.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** And two more will probably die tomorrow. Seriously, what don't you people get about that?

 _Pan up to reveal Kimball standing on the ramp._

 **Kimball:** That's enough, Felix.

 _Harribel walks down the ramp, passing Grimmjow and the others._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _clears throat_ ) Just sayin'.

 **Harribel: Rey** , your choice cost two men their lives ...but it also granted us access to valuable information. Whether or not this was the right thing to do is a conclusion you'll have to come to on your own, I'll leave it at that. Right now the six of us need to have a talk.

 **Nirgge:** Could it _not_ be as depressing as the talk we're having right now?

 ** **Harribel** :** I know where your friends are.

 **Findor:** You do?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Whoa...

 **Di-Roy:** Yay, I have friends!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Whoa, when did this happen?!

 ** **Harribel** :** I kept digging through the files Rey brought back. There wasn't much to go off of but eventually I found them. ...And from the looks of it, they've been moved around a bit.

 ** **Findor** :** Finally, we can rescue Sarge and everything will go back to normal! Isn't that great Nirgge?

 ** **Nirgge** :** "Great" is a strong word Findor. I would've gone with "tolerable."

 ** **Harribel** :** Don't celebrate just yet. As I said they've been moving around fairly regularly, and from the looks of things it isn't going to stop. Right now they're held up in a compound just north of a nearby mountain range. But in about a week it sounds like they'll be transferred to the capital, a place that is very, _very_ out of our reach.

 ** **Findor** :** Sooo, then we go get them now? Is that.. that's a thing we can do, right?

 ** **Grimmjow** : **The compound she's talking about is twice the size of the one Rey and I raided. Breaking in would be suicide. Breaking someone out would be...like suicide and a bunch of puppies dying.

 **Rey:** How do you know?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Because I've tried, and uh, spoiler alert, it didn't go well.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Were the puppies okay?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Harribel, please talk some sense into these guys.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yes, I'm sorry, can we get back to the puppies?

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** When I first heard about you four, I envisioned strong, daring, respectable soldiers.

 _Cut to Findor, Nirgge, Di-Roy, and Rey._

 ** **Nirgge** :** ...Buuuut...

 _Cut back to Harribel._

 ** ** ** **Harribel****** :** But, now that I've come to know you, I found that you're something else entirely. It turns out you're all a bunch of-

 **Findor:** Cowards.

 ** **Rey** :** Losers.

 ** ** ** ** **Harribel******** :** Idiots?

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Spacemen.

 ** ** ** **Harribel****** :** Misfits. You're oddballs that don't exactly fit in. Which is why my men all look up to you and why morale has been at an all time high; because they can _relate_ to you. Because together we're an army of underdogs and outcasts. But, as of right now, I cannot authorize a rescue mission of this scale.

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues, looking downwards in disappointment. Cut back to Harribel._

 ** ** ** **Harribel****** :** Interestingly enough, you work well when you fight together. But, individually, you still haven't shown what it takes to lead others. Which is why I'm giving you five days.

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues, who all look up at Harribel. Back to Harribel._

 ** ** ** **Harribel****** :** Five days to assemble a smaller team. One comprised of the best of each of your platoons. And if you can convince me that you're ready by the end of those five days, then you will have my support.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Five days?!

 ** ** ** ** **Harribel******** :** That's not really a lot of time.

 ** ** ** ** **Harribel******** :** Well...it's all you've got!

 **Grimmjow:** ...Yeah, um, if this is really happening, I'd like to be paid in advance.

 _Cut to Findor, Nirgge, Di-Roy, and Rey standing outside Harribel's office._

 **Nirgge:** Five days. Five fucking days. My naps take longer than five days.

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** :** Yeah and President's Day is Monday, so we can't expect people to come in on a holiday because that would be time and a half. And- oh my god, that would be five and a half days!

 _Grimmjow appears nearby, holding a plasma rifle._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Take my advice gentlemen: live to fight another day.

 **Nirgge:** I think I liked you better when you thought we were super soldiers.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Hey, what's up with that?

 _Close up on Grimmjow's plasma rifle._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _This_ is my plasma rifle. Part of my cut from the hit and run.

 **Findor:** Your cut?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** You think these guys have any money lying around? Yeah right. They pay me in old alien tech. The whole reason Chorus was chosen for colonization, was because it showed promising signs of extraterrestrial artifacts. Turns out the UNSC was right; too bad they abandoned the place. But hey, their loss is my very shiny, very valuable gain.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Wait, why steal weapons and ammo when we can just use this space laser shit.

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Because they don't work, genius; they're busted. But I'm willing to bet that someone out there would be happy to pay a very _large_ sum of money for these babies!

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** :** Uh, yeah wait, I'm sorry. I'm confused. ( _stutters_ ) Ar-ar-ar-are they babies or are they lasers? Or are- are they laser babies?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** While we're talking business, if you guys are serious about rescuing your friends by the end of the week I could always be persuaded to increase my level of assistance. For a one time fee of course, maybe something along the lines of an alien energy sword. Mmm, any takers? Rey?

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** : **( _chuckles_ ) I don't think so. If you like the New Republic so much, how come you still charge them for your help?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Because when I retire, I want a television the size of a billboard.

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** :** Well, that's gonna be bad for your eyes.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** I'm just saying, you could always help us out for _free_. You know, mix it up a little!

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** Ah. Mmm. Okay. So you want me to help you rescue your friends, because...what, it's the right thing to do?

 **Rey:** Yeah, it's called 'not being a dick.'

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** Hmm. You know, if I recall, the first time these people ever asked you for help, you turned them down. Figured this whole 'civil war thing' wasn't your problem. ( _chuckles_ ) In fact, I bet, if your friends had never been captured, you'd _still_ refuse to lend them a hand. Even if it was the 'right thing to do.'

 _Brief pause._

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** _Everyone_ has their price. I learned that a long time ago...and you're no exception.

 _Grimmjow walks away._


	23. Ep 23

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Teaming with Problems!  
_

 _Fade in to a shot of the New Republic's base. A scorpion tank drives into garage in the background. Cut to Nakeem._

 **Nakeem:** I just think that...if you would just reconsider sir.

 _Nakeem is shown to be talking to Nirgge and_ _Dondochakka._

 ** **Nakeem** :** ( _stutters_ ) I mean, uh, I followed your order from day one with like, the burritos and...and... I'd follow you to the end, sir. I really would.

 **Nirgge:** Dondochakka? What do I always say?

 **Dondochakka:** _(unenthused)_ "Nobody likes a kiss-ass."

 ** **Nirgge** :** Nobody likes a kiss-ass.

 ** **Nakeem** :** But, sir!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Nakeem, you are in fact a total kiss-ass. And nobody likes that. Dondochakka, do you like that?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Nope.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Dondochakka doesn't like that. Because Dondochakka here is a maverick, a loose cannon. And people love loose cannons. I'm a bit of a loose cannon myself. Isn't that right Dondochakka?

 ** **Dondochakka** :** Actually, I'm starting to think you're just kinda lazy.

 ** **Nirgge** :** See that? Total loose cannon response. I respect that, Dondochakka.

 ** **Dondochakka** :** _(sighs)_ Whatever.

 ** **Nirgge** :** So, as much it pains me, inside, I'm afraid I must deny your request to join our elite team, Nakeem.

 ** **Nakeem** :** _(tearing up)_ Very well sir. I understand.

 _Nakeem walks off._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Even in defeat, still a kiss-ass.

 **Findor:** _(offscreen)_ Nirgge, hurry up!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Speaking of which...

 _Cut to Nirgge joining Rey, Findor, and Di-Roy on a platform. Their four respective lieutenants,_ _ _Dondochakka_ , Pesche, Sung-sun, and Tesla stand below._

 ** **Findor** :** _(clears throat)_ Hello. Welcome evryone. Thank you for joining us here. Um, why don't we just go down the line and introduce ourselves?

 **Di-Roy:** Um, hello. Ugh yes...my name is Di-Roy Linker.

 **All recruits:** Hi Linker.

 ** **Findor** :** No, I meant the recruits. Why would we need to introduce ourselves? They already know us.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yes, but do they know the "real" us.

 **Rey:** What does that even mean?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Well that is a very interesting question, Rey. Why don't you elaborate on those feelings?

 ** **Rey** :** _(groans)_ Just state your name.

 ** **Findor** :** And tell us a fun fact about yourself.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** _(to Findor)_ Really?

 **Tesla:** ( _clears throat_ ) Permission to speak, sir?

 ** **Rey** :** Uh, go for it?

 ** **Tesla** :** Thank you, sir. Lieutenant Tesla-

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Hey, G.I. Joe? Could you drop the act? We don't have all day.

 ** **Tesla** :** Oh, um very good, sir. My friends call me Tesla. I've served the New Republic faithfully for several years and I believe Captain Di-Roy is one of the wisest individuals I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Sir!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Great. Another kiss-ass.

 ** **Findor** :** You mean our Di-Roy?

 ** **Tesla** :** Yes, sir.

 ** **Findor** :** This one right here?

 ** ** **Tesla**** :** Correct.

 **Findor:**...The blue one?

 **Rey:** Okay, moving on. Next?

 **Sung-sun:** Hello, everyone. I'm Cyan Sung-sun. I enjoy vehicle maintenance, biology, uh...

 _Sung-sun grabs her throat and begins choking. She then falls over, gagging. Cut to the Reds and Blues staring at her._

 **Nirgge:** Uh, should we do something?

 _Sung-sun gets up._

 **Sung-sun:** _(coughing)_ Sorry. Choked on my own spit.

 ** **Rey** :** Findor, what the fuck is this?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** It was either her or the really hot one that plays volleyball.

 ** **Rey** :** Then what the fuck is this!?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** She makes me less nervous, okay! Just leave me alone!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Next.

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** ( _unenthused_ ) I'm Dondochakka. My fun fact is that I don't have a...fun fact.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Total. Maverick.

 **Pesche:** And last but not least!

 ** **Rey** :** _(groans)_

 ** **Pesche** :** Private Resche. Slayer of women, woo-er of evil. Wait?

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Is that your fun fact?

 ** **Pesche** :** Oh, uh...oh! I'm the only surviving member of green team. Suck on that.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** I fucking hate you, Pesche.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Alright, as you've all been informed, this team has come together for the sole purpose of rescuing the remaining survivors of a UNSC shipwreck from several months back. We all know them as Charlotte, Agent Washington, and Sarge.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** And maybe a Spanish robot named Dordoni.

 **Di-Roy:** And maybe an adorable robot named Freckles.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Yeah yeah, we get it. The point is, we've only got five days to train you guys, so we're getting started right now! Now, any questions?

 _Cut to the four Republic recruits._

 **Tesla:** ...Who is leading this team?

 ** **Di-Roy** , ********Nirgge**** , ************Findor******** , and ********Rey**** :** I am!

 _The four look at each other._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** ( _confused_ ) Uh, what?

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Well, I'm obviously the one who should be leading this. I'm the most logical of the group.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Bullshit!

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** _I'm_ the one who set up this entire meeting.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **Yeah, and this meeting blows dicks.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** ( _to Nirgge_ ) Wait, why do you wanna be the leader?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Well, I'm really starting to get used to all this praise and pampering, and I don't wanna risk losing it all to one o' you jerks.

 _Nakeem pops up on an platform in the distant background._

 **Nakeem:** I could always praise an pamper you, sir!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Goddammit Nakeem! What did we just talk about!?

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Well, I think there's an easy way to settle this. Ahem, raise your hand if you were the leader of a team any time before joining this army.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** Oh whatever, that was a fluke!

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** :** Yep, and I forgot to raise my hand.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Hey, if you're looking for experience, so far _I'm_ the only one who's been on an actual mission.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** _(fake coughs)_ Two people died... _(fake cough)_

 **Tesla:** Excuse me, sirs? We could always vote.

 _Nirgge, Rey, Findor, and Di-Roy look at one another. Cut to a title card entitled: ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor**************.** Cut back to Findot standing center stage on the platform._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** My fellow soldiers. If you elect me as your leader, you're not just voting for a kind, well-mannered leader, you're voting for victory. I've overseen countless skirmishes and calculated my opponent's every move. And although some people may not count _Dungeons and Dragons_ as an acceptable example of military expertise, I beg to differ. A vote for Findor Carias is a vote for America!

 **Pesche:**...But we're not in America.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** ...Fuck!

 _Cut to another title card, entitle: ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy********.**_

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** :** And I will put Kool-Aids in all the water fountains! And we won't have to wear uniforms...anymore! And Principal Harribel... will...allow us...double recess! _(echoing)_ Recess, recess recess...

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Di-Roy, your not running for class president.

 _Pan in closer towards Tesla._

 ** **Tesla** :** No, don't you see? We won't need uniforms anymore because the war will finally be over. Harribel will send us out into the world and we'll never have to raise another gun ever again.

 _Cut to a view of Tesla looking up at Di-Roy._

 ** ** **Tesla**** :** By god, he has such a way with words.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Is this guy for real?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************** :** Wait, what about the Kool-aid in the water fountains?

 ** ** **Tesla**** :** Oh yeah, that sounds awesome.

 _Another title card: ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**********._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **...Dibs.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************** :** What?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** I call dibs on the team. Dibs.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** You can't call dibs on the team!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ : **...You sure?

 **Simmons:** Nirgge!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ :** Alright, whatever! _(mumbling)_ I don't wanna be leader anyway...

 _Final title card:_ _**********Rey**********._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** S'up guys, Rey here. Uh, speech...speech...oh, I've always said I'm a lover and not a fighter. I'm lookin' at you, Sung-sun.

 **Sung-sun:** Me?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** Yeah, tell your volleyball friend I said that. Anyways-

 _Grimmjow arrives on the scene._

 **Grimmjow:** Please. God. Tell me you guys haven't been standing around talking all morning.

 _Rey looks at Grimmjow and then back at the recruits._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** _(to the recruits)_ ...Alright look, you want the truth? I don't wanna be your leader. Being a leader totally sucks. It's hard work and you have to put up with people you hate! But I wanna get my friends back and seeing as that's our mission, I will deal with whatever bullshit I have to do to make it happen! ...And if I was holding a mic, this would be the part where I drop it.

 _Brief silence._

 ** **Sung-sun** :**...I vote for Rey.

 ** ** ** **Dondochakka****** :** Yeeaah, I vote for Rey.

 **Tesla:** Me too.

 **Pesche:** Yeah.

 **Nirgge:** Congratulations, Rey! You got the job. That you hate.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Yeaaah, great. Yay. Happy for you. So, did you guys wanna start training at some point? Or, sorry, would you prefer to keep dicking around? Because by all means, I could watch this train wreak all day. Really it's-it's like the _Hindenburg_ footage. Ya-ya ever see that? Just, absolutely breathtaking...until you realize everyone's screwed.

 **Also for who plat the make of Findor's Lieutenant. I just make Lisa play the part.**


	24. Ep 24

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Training Daze!_

 _Fade in to a static screen, which soon clears up. Sung-sun, Pesche, and Dondochakka are seen through Tesla's HUD._

 **Sung-sun:** Eureka!

 **Pesche:** Is it working? ( _yells_ ) Hello! Can you hear me?!

 **Dondochakka:** Yes! Jesus! What's the point of this again?

 _Cut to Rey._

 **Rey:** _This_ is going to make you all better fighters. Tell 'em Findor.

 **Findor:** Sung-suun and I have installed capture software into all of our helmets, allowing us to transmit what we saw on the battlefield to a local server.

 **Pesche** : Wait. Do they only record on the battlefield, or are they recording all the time?

 **Findor** : All the time, duh.

 **Pesche** : Uhh, I don't know how i feel about that.

 **Rey** : Dude, it's fine.

 **Pesche** : But what if it records us doing something embarrassing? Like looking at Sung-sun's butt or something.

 **Sung-sun** : Excuse me!?

 ** **Findor** : **Just don't look at Sung-sun's butt, Pesche.

 ** **Pesche** :** Well now I'm way more aware of her butt than usual and it's throwing me off.

 **Rey:** Pesche!

 ** **Pesche** :** You know what? I'm just going to look at the ceiling.

 ** **Dondochakka** :** I still don't see how this is suppose to make us any better.

 ** **Rey** :** It's like this: sometimes you're with a lady, right? And she wants to spice things up. So, you're like 'boom' - video camera. And she's into it and then you're like "ahh yeah", but what's even better is that later you can go back and look at those tapes and figure out what was really working and what you can do better.

 **Tesla:** So, it's like football coaches reviewing clips of past games?

 ** **Rey** :** ...Sure, if you're into football coaches and that works better for you, I guess. No judgments.

 **Nirgge:** All right, we're good to go.

 ** **Findor** :** You set up the training weapons?

 ** **Nirgge** :** I told someone else to set up the training weapons.

 ** **Findor** : **You make a great manager.

 ** **Nirgge** : **I've said it for years.

 ** **Findor** :** Sorry, I meant terrible. You make a terrible manager.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Whatever. You say tomato, I order a subordinate to say to-mah-to.

 **Rey:** Okay, so our mission today will be to disarm and apprehend an enemy soldier.

 ** **Tesla** :** Take out one guy? That's do-able.

 _Cut to Grimmjow from afar, sharpening his knife._

 ** **Rey** :** The soldier is Grimmjow.

 **Grimmjow:** Uh, what?

 ** **Rey** :** If we can take out the best fighter in the New Republic, I say we stand a pretty good chance against any of those Feds.

 _Grimmjow approaches Rey._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Yeah, I don't agree to this.

 ** **Rey** : **You don't have to. Just do what you normally do, but know that you'll have a giant bullseye painted across your back.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Alright, fine. Bring it on tough guy.

 ** **Rey** : **I will. And when we capture you, you're gonna tell Harribel that we're approved for the mission.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Fine!

 **Rey:** Good!

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Great!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** So... are you just going to stand there, or what?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** No, I was sticking my tongue out at you! But, I-I guess, I'm wearing a helmet. So...shut up.

 _G walks away._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** We got this.

 _Cut to the interior of a building. The Reds, Blues, and recruits are seen inside, along with two Republic soldiers. A large television screen is seen behind the two rebels._

 **Akon:** Thanks for joining us everyone. Private Hiyosu and I were given the task of editing down all of the footage from your training session.

 **Hiyosu:** We took what we believed to be the more... 'eye-opening' moments from today's events, in hopes that they might help you strategize in the future.

 **Findor:** Like a highlight reel?

 ** **Akon** :** Like a reel.

 ** **Hiyosu** :** Why don't we get started?

 _A video of the group's training session begins on the screen. Tesla and_ _Dondochakka are seen loading up their weapons through Pesche's helmet camera._

 **Pesche:** Hey guys! Welcome to my helmet cam! Uh... today, we're gonna be trying to take down Grimmjow. Soooo, let's see how it goes. Could be bad. Could be good. Could be in the middle.

 **Tesla:** Who are you talking to?

 ** **Pesche** :** Uh, the audience.

 _Cut to_ _ _Dondochakka_ 's helmet cam._

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** What audience? We're recording this for ourselves. _You're_ the audience!

 _Cut to Pesche's helmet cam. Di-Roy is seen in the background staring at a tank._

 ** **Pesche** :** Oh yeah. Hi me! ( _Cut to Pesche in the present time_ ) Hi Pesche!

 **Rey:** Can we skip this part?

 ** ** **Akon**** :** Sure! ( _quietly_ ) Not like we worked hard on this or anything.

 ** **Rey** :** Huh?

 ** ** **Akon**** :** Huh?!

 _Cut to the video footage, through Rey's helmet cam. Nirgge is seen walking up to two rebels. The Reds, Blues, and recruits are seen crouched down behind several rocks. The camera cuts back and forth from the soldiers' helmet cams._

 ** **Rey** :** Okay, Grimmjow is right over there.

 **Nirgge:** Dondochakka, hand me a flashbang.

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** Ohhh right, um... about that.

 _Cut to Grimmjow walking away._

 ** **Rey** :** ( _voice only_ ) Hurry up, he's getting away!

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** I don't have any.

 ** **Nirgge** :** I told you to grab them!

 ** ** ** **Dondochakka****** :** Yeah, I wasn't _really_ listening.

 ** **Nirgge** :** What?!

 **Findor:** World's. Worst. Manager.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Let's not argue semantics Findor!

 ** ** ** **Dondochakka****** :** That's not what that word means.

 ** **Rey** :** Does anybody have a fucking grenade?!

 **Tesla:** I gave mine to Di-Roy.

 **Rey:** You what?!

 _Di-Roy tosses a frag grenade right in front of himself._

 **Di-Roy:** Fire in the hole.

 _The grenade explodes, causing static to emerge from the soldiers' helmet cams._

 **All:** ( _yelling indistinctly_ )

 _Cut back to the present time._ _Hiyosu and the Green Republic Soldier laugh at the footage._

 ** ** ** **Akon****** : **( _laughing_ ) Fucking idiot.

 ** **Hiyosu** :** ( _laughing_ ) I could watch this for hours!

 **Nirgge:** Jesus Christ, how long is this video?!

 ** **Hiyosu** :** Hours! I just fucking said it! Pay attention!

 **Findor:** Does it get _any_ better?

 ** ** ** ** **Akon******** :** Define 'better'?

 **Rey:** Ugh, come on, lets go.

 _Rey walks away._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Go where?

 _Rey stops._

 ** **Rey** :** To try this again.

 _Rey leaves the room._

 ** **Hiyosu** :** This is goinna be good.

 ** ** ** ** **Akon******** :** I'll make some popcorn.

 _Cut to the Reds, Blues, and recruits running across a hill. Di-Roy sprints ahead of everyone while Nirgge lags behind. Cut to Grimmjow talking to the Rebel Medic._

 **Grimmjow:** What if I am too good looking? I mean i-it's possible to scientific.

 _Rey is heard yelling and charges up behind Grimmjow, but the latter activates his hardlight shield and knocks Rey down._

 ** **Rey** :** AAAAAAGGGHHHHH! ( _is knocked down; coughs_ ) Oooh! ( _weakly_ ) No fair.

 _Cut to Findor spying on Grimmjow from atop a hill. He turns to Tesla, Pesche, and Nirgge._

 ** **Findor** :** He's holding a training gun, right?

 _Tesla stands up to see, but is quickly shot at._

 **Tesla:** AHH! ( _weakly_ ) Yes sir.

 **Pesche:** Well that's good to know.

 _Cut to Akon and_ _Hiyosu laughing at the footage._

 ** ** **Hiyosu**** :** ( _laughs_ ) What a dope!

 **Di-Roy:** ( _dry laughter_ ) Yeah, I don't get it.

 **Rey:** Grrrr.

 _Cut to the camera panning across the group doing push-ups. Grif and Bitters are seen at the end relaxing while counting off._

 ** **Rey** :** Thirty-three. Thirty-four. Thirty-five...

 ** **Pesche** :** Thirty-three. Thirty-four. Thirty-five...

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Thirty-three. Thirty-three. Thirty-three...

 ** **Tesla** :** Thirty-five. Thirty-six. Thirty-seven...

 **Findor:** ( _struggling_ ) Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine...

 **Sung-sun:** Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thrity-eight...

 **Nirgge:** ( _lazily_ ) Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thrity-eight. Thirty-nine.

 ** ** ** ** **Dondochakka******** :** ( _lazily_ ) Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thrity-eight. Thirty-nine.

 _Cut to Grimmjow walking alone. Rey jumps up from behind a pile of crates and falls over a cliff._

 ** **Rey** :** Surprise motherfucker! AH HAAAAAA! ( _splashes into a lake_ )

 _Grimmjow continues walking. Cut to Sung-sun, who spots Grimmjow nearby on her helmet cam._

 ** **Sung-sun** :** Target sighted. Headed towards- ( _sneezes harshly all over her visor_ ) AHH-CHOOO! Uh... anyone else have eyes on the target?

 ** ** **Tesla**** : **Negative.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Dondochakka********** :** Uh no.

 ** ** **Pesche**** :** ( _staring directly at Sung-sun's butt_ ) Yeah, I got nothin'.

 _Cut back to the bunker where_ _Hiyosu, Akon, and several other rebels are seen laughing. Sung-sun turns to Pesche and he turns towards her. Pesche then turns away at the ceiling._

 ** ** **Pesche**** :** Lookin' at the ceiling!

 _Cut to Grimmjow standing around idly. Rey emerges behind him, holding a grenade in his hands._

 **Rey:** ( _from afar_ ) Hey Grimmjow! Catch!

 _Rey unpins the grenade and tosses it at Grimmjow. Grimmjow, however, effortlessy catches it._

 **Grimmjow:** One mississippi. Two mississippi. Three mississippi. Four mississippi!

 ** **Rey** :** ( _frantic_ ) Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooo!

 _Rey runs away. Grimmjow throws the grenade at Rey and it explodes. Grimmjow then clenches his fist. Cut to Findor and Nirgge spying on Grimmjow from inside a bunker. Findor gestures hand signals to Nirgge._

 **Nirgge:** At what point did you think I knew what that meant?!

 _Grimmjow walks out of the room and spots Findor and Nirgge._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Ah shit.

 _GRimmjow punches Nirgge in the face, causing his visor to static. Cut back to the bunker where numerous Republic soldiers are seen laughing at the footage._

 **Tesla:** ( _chuckles_ ) Okay, that was actually kinda funny.

 _Rey lowers his head in disappointment. The latter is then seen outside the bunker confronting Grimmjow._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Hey!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** You know, I have to admit, I've never seen these guys laugh so much before.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Why are you being so hard on us?!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Come again?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** All we need is a green light from you, and Harribel let's us save our friends. So why the hell can't you just lighten up for _once_?!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Because you will die! ( _brief pause_ ) You know, for people who've done so much, you really are just a bunch of idiots, aren't you?

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** ( _angrily_ ) That's what we said from the start!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _angrily_ ) So then why are you trying to still be something you're not?!

 **Harribel:** ( _angrily_ ) GRIMMJOW!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _to Rey; quietly_ ) ...Whether you go or not is ultimately up to her. But risking the lives of more people... that's on you.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** I thought you didn't _care_ about losing people?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I don't. ...But you do.

 _Grimmjow leaves. Harribel approaches Rey._

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _to Rey_ ) ...We need to talk.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** ( _sighs_ ) Can it not be as depressing as the talk we're having right now?

 ** **Harribel** :** Well I can't make any promises.

 _The camera slowly pans away from Rey and Harribel._


	25. Ep 25

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Reflections!_

 _Fade in to the New Republic Headquarters. Pans down near an algae lake where Harribel and Rey are seen standing side by side._

 **Harribel:** I like to come down here when I need to think. It's peaceful.

 **Rey:** ...It's really, glowy.

 ** **Harribel** :** That's the algae. Don't touch it, it's radioactive.

 ** **Rey** :** Oh... tranquil.

 ** **Harribel** : **Rey, I'd like to apologize for Grimmjow's behaivor. He was out of line.

 ** **Rey** :** Yeah, he's kind of an asshole.

 ** **Harribel** :** He's just worried.

 ** **Rey** :** ( _sarcastic_ ) Riiight, I could really feel his concern when he dislocated my shoulder yesterday.

 ** **Harribel** :** He puts on a tough guy act, but... deep down I know he cares about you guys.

 ** **Rey** :** Harribel, I hate to break it to you, but the dude doesn't give a shit about any of this. He's just in it for the money.

 ** **Harribel** :** It's... more complicated than that.

 ** **Rey** :** Oh... Are you banging?

 ** **Harribel** :** Jesus, no!

 ** **Rey** :** Just sayin'. Guy does stuff for money...

 ** **Harribel** :** We are not banging.

 ** **Rey** :** ( _sly_ ) So you're single?

 ** **Harribel** :** Grimmjow may not be fighting for the same reasons we are but he has more than enough motivation to win this war.

 ** **Rey** :** What do you mean?

 ** **Harribel** :** Things weren't always this bad. The tides have turned time and time again, and we've come _so close_ to victory, only to be pushed back to the brink of defeat. But, whenever things looked their worst, Grimmjow was there with vehicles or weapons or even just a plan of attack. I never wanted to be a soldier, Rey. None of us did. But Grimmjow? He _chose_ this lifestyle, and he chose it because he's good at it.

 ** **Rey** :** You know, for his boss, you really make it sound like you need him more than he needs you.

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** Well, I wasn't always his boss. He was in this fight before I was even an officer.

 ** **Rey** :** What?

 ** ** **Harribel**** : Rey**, I am the fourth person to lead the New Republic.

 ** **Rey** :** And I repeat, what?

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** Our first leader was killed in action. The second was assassinated at what we had been told would be a peace treaty, and the third was blown out of the sky while trying to leave Chorus for help.

 _Rey backed up, far away from Harribel._

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** What are you doing?

 ** **Rey** :** Call me crazy, but I suddenly don't feel as safe around you.

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** _(humorous)_ Heh, I guess my position does have a pretty quick turnover.

 ** **Rey** :** _(sly)_ Okay, now you're talking my language!

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** Touch me, and you'll sink to the bottom of this lake.

 ** **Rey** :** No touching!

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** That's what I thought.

 ** **Rey** :** So Grimmjow has been on the rebel's payroll for a long time. What makes you think he won't just up and leave whenever he's made enough money? I know I would. ...Hahahah, I mean, if I wasn't so invested in your cause.

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** Like I said, Grimmjow has more than enough motivation to _win_ this war. The thing that keeps him fighting? It's the same thing that's kept us from victory for so long. It's what took your friends. It's Locus.

 _Zoom in on Rey._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** ...Whaaaat?!

 _Cut to a section of the New Republic caves._

 **Nirgge:** ( _voice only_ ) Men! Front and center on the double!

 _Cut to Tesla, Sung-sun, Pesche, and Dondochakka lining up in front of Nirgge._

 **Tesla:** Is something wrong, sir?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh, you better believe something is wrong, Private Tesla!

 **Dondochakka:** Wait, I thought we were lieutenants.

 **Pesche:** _I'm_ a private.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Lieutenant, private, whatever! Just listen to your captain!

 ** **Dondochakka** : **I thought Rey was our captain.

 _Cut to Pesche._

 ** **Pesche** : **No, Rey is our _leader_. I think Nirgge's still a captain.

 _Cut to Sung-sun._

 **Sung-sun:** Are we still lieutenants?

 _Cut to Tesla._

 ** **Tesla** :** Well I don't see why not.

 _Cut to Di-Roy._

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah, is this the line for the bathroom?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** ( _angrily_ ) LISTEN TO YOUR CAPTAIN!

 _Findor enters._

 **Findor:** Okay, I'll bite. What's going on?

 ** **Nirgge** :** We have had a major breach of security Findor! A major fucking breach!

 ** **Findor** : **We have?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Someone from this squad has stolen from my very secret and very personal food stash.

 ** **Findor** : **Oh, right. God help us if you only have nine meals a day.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Oh, this wasn't just petty theft, Findor. This was murder.

 **Di-Roy:** Uh, ah, yeah, uh. I didn't do it! Now we all agree that it was the tank's fault.

 _Lieutenants and Pesche turn to look at Di-Roy._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** What?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** A Little Debbie jelly cream pie I've been saving for emergencies is now missing and presumabed eaten!

 ** **Findor** :** ( _gasps_ ) No! I don't believe it!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Neither can I!

 ** **Findor** :** You've knowingly had food within arm's reach and haven't eaten it yet?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** I have been hiding it since basic training, Findor.

 ** **Findor** : **Wait... but that would mean it was, years old?!

 **Pesche:** How many years?

 ** **Findor** :** Let's not get into specifics. Let's just say it's old.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** ( _sadly_ ) And still so young.

 ** **Findor** :** That's disgusting.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Hoh I know! But we're about to find the sick son of a bitch, so don't you worry about that!

 ** **Findor** :** Yeah, he's probably got indigestion.

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah, and even though we all blame the tank, kinda feel like Skullak had something to do with it too.

 _Nirgge walks towards Di-Roy and the four recruits._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** You see, only one man in this squad knew about my food locker. He'd seen it after _every_ training mission I gave him while he was in my squad.

 _Nirgge walks down the line and stops in front of_ _ _Dondochakka_._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** After every single raid on the mess hall, he reported back to me and I thought I could trust him, but it turns out I was wrong. Isn't that right... Dondochakka!

 _ _Dondochakka_ pause._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Well, what do you have to say for yourself?!

 **Dondochakka:** ...( _burps_ ) I think my stomach is dying...

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Damn it Dondochakka, I thought you were cool! But it turns out you're nothing but a lazy, good-for-nothing, dirtbag!

 _Nakeem approaches Nirgge._

 **Nakeem:** Hey, leave him alone!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** ( _angrily_ ) Shut it Findor!

 ** **Nakeem** :** ( _confused_ ) Fi-Findor?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Oh. Wait, I-I mean-

 **Findor:** Nirgge, you're starting to sound like Sarge.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** ( _shocked_ ) What the- de- Findor, what is happening to me?

 ** **Findor** :** I think you're having a mental breakdown!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, those are my favorite kind.

 ** **Findor** :** ( _to Nirgge_ ) Being thrust into a position of power must be putting too much stress on your brain! Now it's defaulting to what you subconsciously perceive to be the symbol of leadership: Sarge!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** That's not true! That's impossible! Nooooooooohohooooooo!

 _Cut to_ _Dondochakka, Pesche, Sung-sun, and Tesla._

 **Pesche:** Do you guys have any idea what's going on here?

 **Sung-sun:** Not in the slightest.

 ** **Dondochakka** :** ( _uncomfortably_ ) I-I-I think I'm gonna vomit.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ :** ( _off screen_ ) Oh god, I'm gonna hurl.

 ** **Sung-sun** :** Gross.

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** D-d-don't let me drown in my helmet.

 _Cut back to Rey and Harribel at the lake._

 **Rey:** What does Locus have to do with any of this?

 **Harribel:** When the Federal Army heard we had hired a mercenary to help our side, they decided to do the same. But they didn't just find any contract killer. They found Gimmjow's oldest rival. His ex-partner: Locus.

 ** **Rey** :** So you're telling me Grimmjow used to be friends with that psycho?!

 ** **Harribel** :** Not exactly.

 _The scene transitions to the past, depicting Grimmjow and Locus fighting alongside each other during the Great War. Plasma blasts and explosions are seen in the background._

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _voice over_ ) They fought together in the Great War, and their squad saw one of the worst battles in UNSC history. Grimmjow and Locus never got along. They fought over everything but, considering what they were up against, they banded together...and they survived. But, surviving isn't always enough.

 _Scene flash forwards to the aftermath of the Great War, where several UNSC soldiers, including GRimmjow and Locus, are seen in a room. The soldiers gradually fade away until only Locus and Grimmjow are left._

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _voice over_ ) When the war was over many soldiers had a difficult time returning to civilian life. And some of them weren't able to return at all.

 _Gimmjow turns around. Cut another flashback, where Grimmjow is seen on Chorus fighting alongside the New Republic. Locus suddenly appears atop a hill, fighting alongside the Federal Army of Chorus._

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _voice over_ ) Felix and Locus were always competitive. But when Locus signed up with the Feds, I think Felix took it as a final challenge.

 ** **Rey** :** ( _voice over_ ) Final challenge?

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _voice over_ ) Locus _knew_ that his mission would mean killing his former ally, but he took it anyway. Either the money was too good or Locus wanted to know, once and for all, which of them was better.

 _Cut back to the present._

 ** **Harribel** :** We all have our reasons for fighting, Rey. And I know that your's are your friends. Your five days are almost up, and I don't know when we're going to get another chance at this.

 ** **Rey** :** You know, I think I respond better to _positive_ reinforcement.

 ** **Harribel** :** I'm just saying, you should make the most out of the time you have left. Your squad may be improving slowly, but they're improving nonetheless. You just need to keep trying.

 ** **Rey** :** Right, because _that's_ been working so well.

 ** **Harribel** :** Feel free to come by my office if you ever need anything, Rey.

 _Haeeibel leaves. Cut to Rey approaching Findor, Nirgge, and Di-Roy._

 **Di-Roy:** Ah, fun's over, Rey's back.

 **Nirgge:** ( _frantic_ ) Rey! Rey, come here! Tell me I'm cool! Tell me I'm lazy and that I don't play by the rules!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** ( _confused_ ) What?

 ** **Nirgge** :** I don't wanna Southern accent!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yarr, drop and give me booty!

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** ...

 **Findor:** We're dealing with some issues.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Well hurry up and get over it. I need you guys to meet me at the bunks in ten mintues!

 ** **Findor** :** Why? What's going on?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** ...We're leaving.


	26. Ep 26

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Self Assessment!_

 _Fade in to the New Republic Headquarters. Cut to the interior of a bunker where Rey, Nirgge, Findor, and Di-Roy are seen standing._

 **Findor:** ( _to Rey_ ) What do you mean 'leaving'? Where are we going?

 **Di-Roy:** ( _excited_ ) Is it to the park?! Ooh, I know, it's the beach! Wait a minute, you're not taking me to the vet, are you?

 **Rey:** No, we're going to break into that compound and bust out our friends.

 ** **Findor** :** But, we still have some time left to train the squad. Why would we leave now?

 ** **Rey** :** Because the squad's not coming with us.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Are they going in a separate car?

 ** **Rey** :** No.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Ah, so they're flying. Ya know, I have an extra bag to check. Is that gonna be a problem? Cause-

 ** **Rey** :** No. Di-Roy, we're going on this mission alone.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Alone with the squad. Got it.

 **Nirgge:** Why would we do that?

 ** **Rey** :** I don't know if you guys have noticed, but our super-elite team sucks. There's no way they'll be able to pull off a rescue mission.

 ** **Findor** :** We don't know that. Harribel could still pass us.

 ** **Rey** :** I'm not talking about passing. I'm talking about our trainees blowing up or getting shot or disintegrated or something.

 ** **Findor** :** Oh. Yeah, that's a problem.

 ** **Rey** :** Look, Grimmjow, was right. We're just gonna end up getting more people killed.

 ** **Nirgge** :** So you're saying we should just get ourselves killed instead?

 ** **Rey** :** Hey, we've done crazier things than this. Remember that time we fought, like, a bajillion hundred robots? We didn't fuck that up.

 ** **Findor** :** We had Skullak.

 ** **Rey** :** Okay, well, what about C.T.? Or the Meta?

 ** **Findor** :** We got lucky.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Bullshit. Now maybe we can't _teach_ a bunch of people how to fight, but the four of us can totally pull this off. We're not gonna get another chance like this. We just have to go in and get our guys back. After that, Wash will know what to do.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** But even Grimmjow couldn't break into this place.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _We're_ not Grimmjow. Grimmjow is smart. The Feds won't be expecting _dumb_.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Hey! Who are you calling dumb?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Shut up.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** No, Findor, I was just asking for some clarification. I'm a little lost.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Look, we keep trying to strategize and use codenames and act like real soldiers, but we're not. We haven't been from the beginning. So why are we trying now? I say we just get in there and do what we do best.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Uhh, which is ...?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** I have no idea. But, uh, whatever it is, it's worked for us before.

( _a short pause_ )

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** _That's_ your plan? We just show up and wing it? That's the worst plan I've ever-

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Alright. Let's do it.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** ( _surprised_ ) What- Nirgge? _You_ wanna do this?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Yeah. So what?

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** ( _incredulous_ ) So what? You _never_ wanna do anything. _Ever_.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Findor, I've been following orders I never liked for years.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** No you haven't. You disobey orders all the time.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** Well, I don't wanna be the guy who _gives_ shitty orders that nobody wants to follow. I will not become a Sarge, dammit. There's no way I'm making a bunch of stupid rebels get shot for something I want. So yeah, whatever. Let's just do it!

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** ( _sniffs_ ) That's the most selfless thing you've ever said.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** But I wanna steal more food before we go.

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** ( _sniffs_ ) Okay, that's more like it.

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** :** Yay, mission!

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** (encouragingly) Findor?

 _Di-Roy and Nirgge turn toward Findor._

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** ( _sigh_ ) How are we getting there?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Ha ha, yes. Okay, I snuck into Harribel's office and grabbed all the data I took from the Feds' lab. We've got a map that will lead us straight to them. All we need is a ride.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Vehicle bay's got plenty of Warthogs, I guess.

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** :** And I can drive a tank!

 **All:** NO!

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** :** Well, you're all just jealous.

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Wait, what about the rebels? I mean, I don't think they'll be happy with us just leaving like this.

 _Rey then turns to a computer screen to his right, and the others follow his gaze. Cut to Nakeem in the vehicle bay._ _Dondochakka walks into view._

 **Dondochakka:** Hey, Nakeem. Have you seen the Reds and Blues around? Can't find them.

 **Nakeem:** No, but that might explain why two of our jeeps are missing.

 _Cut to the bunker interior. A recording starts playing with Harribel and the squad listening._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** ( _voice recording_ ) Hello everyone. If you're listening to this, it means we're already gone.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** ( _voice recording_ ) Look, it's not you, it's us.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy********** :** ( _voice recording_ ) Tell them not to leave the lights on!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** ( _voice recording_ ) Di-Roy! Not now!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy************ :** ( _voice recording_ ) I miss you already. I promise we'll call. ( _recording ends_ )

 **Harribel:** Dammit, Rey.

 **Pesche:** They just... left us?

 _Grimmjow walks in._

 **Grimmjow:** Who left us? ( _notices the paused recording_ ) Oh no.

 _Cut to a desert refueling station. The Reds and Blues arrive in the borrowed Warthogs and dismount to investigate the station._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** Okay, the ability to fly... North.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Eh, I don't know.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** What do you mean? That's a great "terrible superpower".

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ :** Yeah, but you can still fly.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** You can only fly North. It's so inconvenient. Once you land, you have to _walk_ wherever you're going.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ :** Mmm, I guess so.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** Okay, what about the ability to teleport ... one foot at a time.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Mmmmm, meh.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************** :** You're meh. This road trip sucks.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Hello-oh! Anybody home?! We got some cars that need fuel.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, yes! We would also like to perchase some lottery tickets! Yeah, I know the odds, but I just, I still think it's just fun.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor**************** :** This place looks deserted.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Whoo hoo! Let's loot! I've always wanted my own Slurpee machine.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Oh, dude, let me know if they've got any magazines.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Me too! One with pictures!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Specificly ones with pictures. You know what I'm saying.

 _An odd-sounding explosion goes off inside the nearby cave system._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor**************** :** What was that?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Maybe it's the owners.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Oh man. Can't we just pretend they're not here and loot anyway.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** Hey Di-Roy, go tell them they got customers. You guys guys start filling up the cars.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** Do it yourself. I'm gonna take a leak. ( _walks off-screen_ )

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Oh, alright, but be sure to get my lottery ticket. My numbers are _5! 7!_ And don't forget them. ( _walks into cave system_ )

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** I know I said a bunch of inspirational crap back at the base, but it's times like these when I really wonder how we haven't been killed yet. You know?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor****************** :** The power to turn into the Hulk ... but only when you're asleep.

 _Cut to the inside of the station. Nirgge walks into view with an empty Slurpee cup._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** Hello? Just here to use the bathroom! Also, somebody emptied out your Slurpee machine! Might want to get that filled! Man, what kind of gas station doesn't have hot dogs?

 _Nirgge opens a door, revealing a corspe._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** Puh-hoh! Wheah! Jesus, it smells like somebody died in- ( _notices the hand; becomes terrified_ ) -here.

 _Cut to Di-Roy walking through the cave system._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** ( _humming_ )

 _An indistinct voice is heard._

 **Control:** ( _voice only_ ) Targets will be arriving in the morning. Do not disappoint me.

 **Lille:** ( _off screen_ ) Understood, Control.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Eh. I think I hear the sound of some new friends. ( _reappears from behind a rock pillar_ ) Hellooooooo- (Rey _quickly covers his mouth with his hand_ ) Oh! ( _whispered_ ) Rey. Perfect! You can help me and my friends come up with a secret high five!

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues approaching a pile of crates upon a ledge overlooking a group of steel-armored Federal troopers._

 **Trooper 1:** So what's the word?

 ** **Lille** :** Control says to give it thirty more minutes.

 **Female Trooper:** Ugh, this is a waste of time.

 **Trooper 1:** Agreed.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** Who are these guys?

 **Rey:** Well, they're definitely not the gas station attendents.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** ( _sarcastically_ ) Wow, Rey. I can really see why _you're_ the leader.

 ** **Rey** :** Up. Yours.

 **Findor:** Quiet. I can't hear what they're saying.

 ** ** **Lille**** :** You know what the say: Orders are orders.

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) Lille.

 ** ** **Lille**** :** Yes, Locus.

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) Change of plans. Report back to base immediately. The Reds and Blues will be requiring... an escort.

 ** ** ** **Lille****** :** Understood. ( _to the squad_ ) You heard him, grab the gear and prep for evac.

 _The troopers walk away into a nearby tunnel._

 **Di-Roy:** Where are they going?

 _Rey moves after them._

 ** **Findor** :** Rey, wait!

 _Another odd explosion goes off, and Rey sees an empty tunnel._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** They just... vanished.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Vanished?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******************** :** They said something about Reds and Blues.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Oh my God! I know those colors! They're us!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** They were Feds. I heard one of them mention Locus.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Well they didn't look like the typical Stormtrooper guys. You think they were Special Ops?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** I think we should get to the base as fast as possible. Come on, let's go.


	27. Ep 27

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Thin Ice!_

 _Fade in to a row of cones lined up on a concrete barrier. A shot fires and misses a cone. Cut to Pesche and_ _Dondochakka_

 **Pesche:** Missed.

 _ _Dondochakka_ fires again_

 ** **Pesche** :** Missed.

 _ _Dondochakka_ fires again_

 ** **Pesche** :** Missed.

 **Dondochakka:** Pesche, I know when I miss!

 _ _Dondochakka_ fires again._

 ** **Pesche** :** Are you missing on purpose?

 **Dondochakka:** Oh alright, that's it!

 _ _Dondochakka_ turns and begins to beat up Pesche. Cut to Sung-sun; punching and shouting can be heard in the background._

 ** **Pesche** :** ( _off screen_ ) Ow! Ow! Ow! It was a legitimate question!

 **Dondochakka:** Am I missing now?!

 **Sung-sun:** _(sighs)_

 _Tesla approaches Sung-sun._

 **Tesla:** Well, I spoke with Harribel. Search and rescue has been denied.

 **Dondochakka:** Yeah well good riddance. They never cared about us anyway.

 ** **Sung-sun** :** How could you say that? They left because they didn't want us getting hurt.

 **Dondochakka:** Yeah, well what do you call this? They didn't take us to get shot, but they sure as hell left us to die!

 ** **Sung-sun** :** ( _voice breaks_ ) ...We don't know that, they could come back.

 ** **Tesla** :** Their message didn't exactly specify.

 ** ** **Pesche**** :** They'll come back. I _know_ they'll come back.

 _Pesche raises his rifle. A shot is fired and hits a cone._

 ** **Dondochakka** :** Nice shot.

 ** ** **Pesche**** :** Wasn't me

 _Cut to Grimmjow behind them, revealed to be the one who shot the cone._

 **Grimmjow:** You shouldn't be so hard on the guys. They did what they thought was best. Can't fault them for that. Still, I'm gonna beat the living shit out of those four when I find them.

 ** **Tesla** :** When you find them?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Tell Harribel I'm buying back one of the warthogs I sold her.

 _Grimmjow leaves._

 ** ** **Sung-sun**** :** But Grimmjow, she said we weren't allowed to go after them! It was a direct order!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Well orders only work on soldiers! I am a mercenary.

 _Cut to a Federal Army outpost base, located in an icy area. Findor, Nirgge, Rey, and Di-Roy are seen standing behind a wall at the compound._

 _ **F.A.C. OUTPOST 37**_

 **Findor:** This is it. According to our data, the Federal Army base is just on the other side of this wall.

 **Rey:** About time! My ass was asleep for so long, I thought it slipped into a coma!

 **Nirgge:** So, we're here. Now what?

 ** **Rey** :** We bust our way in. Anyone have any ideas?

 ** **Findor** :** We could try scaling the wall?

 ** **Rey** :** Uh, that's a little too obvious. Think dumber.

 ** **Nirgge** :** We could knock on the door?

 ** **Rey** :** Too dumb

 ** **Nirgge** :** I was joking!

 **Di-Roy:** We could knock on their door?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** I just said that?!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeaah, but you were joking. I felt the plan deserved more serious consideration.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Hmm, How do you break into an evil ice fortress?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** You melt it! Like evil ice cream!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Holy Shit. We melt our way in!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Whe- Wai- Rea- YES! I WIN!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** What?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** We can't go through the wall, and going over it is what most people would do, so let's just go under it.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** :** That's retarded.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Exactly! Damn, I'd never thought I'd say this, I mean ever, seriously but, good job Di-Roy.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Oh well I'm just really glad someone appreciates my genius. Now let's start melting!

 _Di-Roy crouches down and starts breathing on the snow._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Di-Roy, you're wearing a helmet. That's not doing anything.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Okay, well fine, then how do you explain my sudden light headed...ness.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** What about friction? All the ladies tell me I light a fire between their legs.

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** That's chlamydia.

 **Findor:** Friction won't work. It's gotta be negative forty degrees Celsius out here.

 _The group stare at F, confused._

 ** **Findor** :** That's negative forty degrees Fahrenheit.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Jesus, that's cold!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** That's freezing!

 ** **Findor** :** You people are idiots.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Well say it in American next time.

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Oh! I've got it!

 _Rey pulls out his sword and stabs it into the ground._

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** STAB!

 ** **Findor** :** Is it working?

 _The sword's heat begins to melt away the ice. Cut to the group falling into a tunnel._

 ** **Findor** :** Ahh, it worked!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** Where are we?!

 **Fed Soldier:** ( _off screen_ ) Hey! What was that noise?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** Oh shit, we're inside!

 ** ** ** **Di-Roy****** :** I think bad guys are coming!

 ** ** **Findor**** :** ( _panicking_ ) What do we do? What do we do?!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** I don't know! I didn't think this far ahead!

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Damn it! This is why winging it is a bad idea! No more winging it!

 **Fed:** ( _off screen_ ) I swear, I heard something just around the corner.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************ :** Let's get out of here!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********** :** There could be more guards! We'll be caught!

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** Well we've gotta do something!

 _The Fed begins to make his way towards the Reds and Blues._

 **Fed:** Just a few more feet and I'll be there.

 ** ** ** ** **Di-Roy******** :** Rey!

 _The Fed emerges from the corner to see four snowmen in the tunnel._

 **Fed:** What the-? Huh…. Well would you look at that, just a couple of harmless snowmen. You guys wouldn't happen to be the ones making all that racket now, would you? Heh heh... ( _raises rifle_ ) Well, time for some target practice.

 _Rey stabs the soldier with his sword through the snowman._

 **Fed:** But... why snowman?

 _Cut to the Fed soldier, buried dead under a pile of snow. Cut to Rey, Di-Roy, and Nirgge whilst Findor is dusting snow off himself in the background._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** I cannot believe that worked.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** Uh, you're welcome.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** How did you do that?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************** :** I used the same trick to hide from Sarge all the time back in Blood Gulch.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************ :** You constructed, and then hid inside of... a snowman. In the middle of a hot canyon.

 _Flashback to Blood Gulch where Nirgge is crouching behind a rock with melted snow. Findor is standing next to him._

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Hey Sarge! I found him!

 _Cut back to the present._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge**************** :** It wasn't always a perfect plan.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** According to our intel, there's not much standing between the end of this tunnel and the detention facility.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************** :** That's awesome!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** No, I mean there's literally nothing between us

 _Camera shows an open space between the group and the detention facility._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** We'll be spotted as soon as we leave the tunnel.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************** :** I don't know, doesn't look like there's anyone around to me.

 _A siren blares off from the speakers around the outpost._

 **Soldier on PA:** Alright, lunch breaks over. Back to your stations people.

 _Feds start piling out of the base and moving to their posts._

 **Soldier on a warthog:** Come on maggots, get the lead out! Move! Move! Move!

 _Soldiers continue to move out of the outpost and set up stations around the base._

 **Soldier in a tank:** Woo! Brand new tank, coming in! This will kill any intruders for sure!

 _Cut back to the Reds and Blues._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************** :** I hate my stupid mouth.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** I hate it more.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************ :** How are we gonna sneak past that?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************** :** We're not.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** Glad to hear you're finally making sense, Rey. Let's go home. Good effort everybody! We came, we saw, we realized it was impossible, no shame in that.

 _Cut back to the group in the tunnel._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** Can't help but realize we haven't left yet.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey**************** :** We can't sneak past those guys, so instead, we're gonna make as much noise as possible. If we can cause enough trouble somewhere else, we can draw them away from the prison. What do you guys think?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor************** :** Well, it fits with the dumb ideas thing.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey**************** :** I think here if we fuck up these important looking pipes and then haul ass, we can make it into the building.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge****************** :** Ugh, we have to run?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey****************** :** We have to try. Worst case scenario, we end up in jail with everyone else and just wait for this whole civil war thing to blow over.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor**************** :** I think worst case scenario is getting shot. Or Nirgge getting shot and we have to carry him. There's only three of us.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey****************** :** ( _pauses for consideration_ ) Fuck it. Di-Roy, do your thing.

 **Di-Roy:** Time to CLEAN THE PIPES!

 _Cut to two soldiers standing atop the base, as an alarm goes off._

 **Alarm:** Alert. Catastrophic breach detected in sewage pipeline. Sector 3.

 **Fed Soldier:** Sucks to be maintenance.

 **Alarm:** Warning. Sewage breach detected in the barracks.

 **Fed Soldier:** Oh shit! Noooo! My stuff!

 _Soldiers suddenly begin to run off to the barracks to protect their belongings._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey******************** :** Now's our chance, run!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor****************** :** Here goes nothing!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Let's race!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******************** :** Urghhh.

 **Fed Soldier:** Come on guys, gotta save our shit! From the shit!

 _Soldiers continue to run off to the barracks, yelling indistinctly while doing so, whilst Rey, Findor, Nirgge and Di-Roy run across to the detention facility._

 **Fed Soldier:** Last night was taco night!

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues entering the detention facility._

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Yeah, first place!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********************** :** ( _panting heavily_ ) Oh my god... I'm gonna die. I hope I die.

 _The four make their way to a concealed door._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey********************** :** Findor, do something about this door!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor******************** :** What do you mean?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************************ :** It's locked. Hack the door controls or something!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor******************** :** What makes you think I can just hack a door?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************************ :** You're the smart one! All your good for is hacking things and making me look more handsome in comparison!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor******************** :** ( _panicking_ ) I don't have any intel! I don't have any tools! I-I-I can't just do it, I need time!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge************************ :** We don't have time, genius. Just pretend like it's a timed maths test or something!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor******************** :** I don't work well under pressure! You know that!

 _The door suddenly opens and the group raise their guns in response, towards the unknown enemy beyond the door._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************************ :** Oh shit…

 _Camera pans across to reveal Rey aiming his gun at Washington, who also has his gun raised. The camera then reveals Washington, Baraggan, Charlotte, and Dordoni in the doorway. Everyone lowers their weapons._

 **Washington:** Rey?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Rey************************** :** Wash?

 **Baraggan:** What in sam hell are you boys doing here?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********************** :** We came to save you!

 **Charlotte:** But, we were supposed to save you?

 _The camera slowly pans away from the Blood Gulch group, who continue to stand motionless in the doorway._

 **Di-Roy:** Bum bum buuummmm… Cliffhanger!


	28. Ep 28

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _The Federal Army of Chorus!_

 _ **WEEKS EARLIER... JUNGLE CANYON, "CRASH SITE BRAVO"**_

 _Fade in to Washington's point of view, who sees several Feds assisting an unconscious Baraggan nearby._

 **Fed Soldier:** I repeat, we have three survivors in need of immediate assistance. ( _to a Fed_ ) Make sure the docs are ready. He really did a number on them.

 **Washington:** ( _weakly_ ) Sarge...

 _Locus approaches Wash._

 **Locus:** He's not dead. ...Not yet.

 **Washington:** No...

 _Wash turns his head towards the sky and sees Locus looking down upon him._

 **Locus:** I warned you, Agent Washington. I _gave_ you a choice. But you chose to fight. I admire that decision.

 **Washington:** ( _weakly_ ) Fuck... you... monster.

 **Locus:** No, I'm not a monster. I'm a soldier, like you.

 _Locus leaves as the screen fades out. Fade back in to reveal a broken down facility. Wash is seen wearing his blue armor, hearing the Director._

 **Director:** ( _voice only_ ) Why hello, Agent Washington.

 **Washington:** Project Freelancer?

 **Counselor:** ( _voice over_ ) Agent Washington.

 **Washington:** Huh?!

 _Wash suddenly flashes back to the past where he sees himself talking to the Counselor._

 **Counselor:** ( _voice only_ ) So you would say that you have overwhelming feelings of anger, and a need for revenge?

 **Past Washington** : More than you know.

 **Washington:** ...What?

 _Wash then flases back to the point where he shoots Dordoni and Charlotte. He runs towards his past self in order to stop himself from shooting Charlotte. However, the scene goes as it did before._

 **Washington:** Wait! WAIT!

 _His past self fires at Charlotte, causing him to collapse immediately._

 **Findor:** Why did you do that?! What's wrong with you?!

 **Washington:** No...I was just...

 **Locus:** ( _echoing_ ) I was just following orders.

 **Washington:** I was just following orders...

 **Voice:** ( _echoing_ ) You shot him!

 **Washington:** What?

 _Findor appears in front of Washington._

 ** **Findor** :** You shot him! You shot Charlotte!

 _Washington backs away and aims his pistol at Findor._

 **Washington:** No I just... I did what I had to do!

 _Locus appears behind Washington._

 **Locus:** Don't we all?

 _Washington turns around and shoots at Locus. However, he finds his own body on the ground._

 **Locus:** ( _voice only_ ) Agent Washington...

 _Now back in his steel and yellow armor, Washington stares down at himself._

 **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck:** ( _voice only_ ) Agent Washington? Agent Washington!

 _Cut to black._

 **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck:** ( _voice only_ ) Oh. Well...that was close.

 _Cut to Washington, Baraggan, and Charlotte, handcuffed inside a Federal Army outpost._

 _ **F.A.C. OUTPOST 37**_

 **Baraggan:** Dirtbags! Each and every one of 'em! The soldiers: dirtbags! The medics: dirtbags! That good-for-nothin' mercenary, who shoots a man when he ain't even lookin': you best believe he's a numero uno dirtbag! And you...

 _Baraggan acknowledges a Fed standing nearby._

 ** **Baraggan** :** You know what you are...

 **Charlotte:** Ooh, ooh, me! Pick me, Sarge!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Shut up, Charlotte.

 ** **Charlotte** :** But I was gonna say "dirtbag".

 ** **Baraggan** :** What? Doh! Doh- For the love of-! Now you've gone and given away the answer to my rhetorical question!

 **Washington:** I have an idea. Let's play the quiet game.

 ** **Charlotte** :** Ohohoho. It. Is. On!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Great Monopoly's top hat, Wash. Now is not the time for games! Now is the time for action! Come on, help me get out of these cuffs. There's a certain someone in this room that I feel like bludgening to death!

 ** **Charlotte** :** Just use your feet, Sarge. If he fights back, I'll beat him off ya!

 ** **Baraggan** :** You're not thinking, Charlotte! That'll just alert more guards.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** Well if I can't beat off a room full of dudes, then what have I been training for this whole time?

 **Washington:** I would really like to play the quiet game, please.

 **Fed:** ( _off screen_ ) Officer on deck!

 _Cut to Patros and a couple of Feds. Patros approaches Wash, Charlotte, and Baraggan._

 **Patros:** Agent Washington, Charlotte Chuhlhourne, Sarge. I... am so-oooh sorry!

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** ( _pause_ ) Say what now?

 ** **Patros** :** Guard. Uncuff these men at once, and return their weaponry for God sake!

 **Fed:** Yes sir. ( _walks up to Baraggan_ ) Really sorry about this, sir. I'd appreciate it if you decided _not_ to bludgeon me to death.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Ah, I suppose I could settle for _near_ death.

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** :** Bye, handcuffs. Aw, wait. I didn't even get to use my safe word. ( _whispering_ ) It's "Chrysanthemum."

 **Washington:** Okay, wait, stop. Stop!

 ** ** **Patros**** :** Um, what is it, Agent Washington?

 **Washington:** What is it? What is it! First, you send men to kill us. Then you send men to capture us. And now that we're here, you're giving us _guns_ and saying you're SORRY?

 ** ** **Patros**** :** Uh... Is that a problem?

 **Washington:** Only for _you_ , if you don't-

 _Wash aims at Patros._

 ** ** **Patros**** :** O-oh dear. ( _faints_ )

 ** ** ** ** **Charlotte******** :** What a weenie.

 _Cut to Wash, Baraggan, and Charlotte standing outside atop a bunker._

 **Washington:** I don't understand. None of this makes any sense.

 _The group notice_ _Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck_ _talking to Patros._

 ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck** :** ( _enthusiastically_ ) Now just take it easy for the rest of the day. Remember, "You're no good to me dead." Although, I suppose I could run some experiments on your body.

 ** ** ** **Patros****** :** Uh, thank you, Nelliel. Ahah, your help is always appreciated.

 ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck** :** Anytime General Patros! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have limbs to amputate! ( _leaves_ )

 ** ** ** **Patros****** :** Of course.

 _Patros approaches Wash, Baraggan, and Charlotte._

 ** ** ** ** **Patros******** :** Gentlemen. I'm afraid I have nothing but apologies for you today. It must be the thin air up here, I-I've been doing a lot of travelling lately and my body's still adjusting to-

 **Washington:** ( _approaches Patros_ ) "Patros," right?

 ** ** ** ** **Patros******** :** Oh, uh... well yes. Very observant. General Patros Parros of the Federal Army of Chorus at your service.

 ** ** ** ** **Baraggan******** :** At our service?

 ** ** ** ** **Patros******** :** Full service?

 **Washington:** Okay General. Let me catch you up to speed on what the past few days have been like for me. I've got a canyon of shipwrecked survivors all trying to hail a rescue, when a squad of soldiers, all wearing _your_ uniform, come down and attack us with their leader, a big black suited son of a bitch who goes by the name Locus. Then once he leaves, I've got another guy named Grimmjow telling me you and yours have been terrorizing this planet and to top it all off, that we're wanted men for crashing on it in the first place! ( _angrily_ ) So **please** , if you could do your best to convince me not to kill you this very second, that would REALLY BENEFIT THE BOTH OF US!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** ( _nervously_ ) ...Uh, yeah!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Patros********** :** ( _sighs_ ) Yes, I see. None of this happened the way that it should have. Tell me, how much do you know about the New Republic?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** They don't try and kill us, for starters.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Patros********** :** A note for equality, yes. But uh, what _else_ do you know about them?

 **Washington:** They're rebels, fighting to overthrow a corrupt leadership. They heard our distress call and hoped we could help.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Patros********** :** And you heard all of this from a mercenary, hired to assist them at all costs? ...A bit of a biased source, don't you think? These " _rebels_ " aren't looking to free this planet, their aim is to dominate it! They were given ample opportunities to move to a former old society, somewhere else on Chorus; it is a large planet, I can assure you. But nooooo. They are determined to uh, "take back what is theirs!" I'll admit, times were hard, but as a planet cut off from the rest of the galaxy we did our best to govern the people. But it wasn't enough. Suddenly buildings were exploding! They were-they were riots in the streets; complete and utter panic, everywhere! These were not acts of freedom, they were acts of terrorism! And we could not risk warriors of your caliber allying with them.

 **Washington:** So you sent your men to kill us?!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros************ :** Absolutely not!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan********** :** I've got a few cracked ribs that beg to differ! And a headbone that strongly disagrees!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros************ :** Again, I must apologize. The way this was handled was not at all what I had wanted. Upon hearing your arrival on Chorus, I ordered Locus to confirm his findings and bring you to us as soon as possible. Unfortunately, it appears as though I should've been more specific in the exact method of your acquisition.

 **Washington:** So what, this was all your mercenary's fault? Y-You expect me to believe that the general of an army can't control his own men?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros************** :** Y-Y-You're mistaken in assuming I have any control over Locus whatsoever! He is a dog, that has long since broken from his leash. ...But we need him. ( _walks towards the edge of the roof_ ) As I'm sure you already observed, I'm not a battleward soldier right with military expertise. On the contrary, I was simply next in line to run the army should something happen to its leader.

 **Washington:** Wh-what do you mean? Lieutenant General? Major General?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros************** :** ( _embarrassed_ ) Uh, personal secretary to the Brigadier.

 **Washington:** ( _shocked_ ) What?!

 **Charlotte:** Where'd all the other guys go?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros************** :** Some of them left before things took a turn for the worst, but uh hmmmm...most of them were killed. Yes, definitely they were killed. Not many of us left these days I'm afraid.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************ :** But you're supposed to be the evil Empire, with giant warships and floating space lasers! Not camping out in the snow, that's stuff for rebels! And the sadly endangered polar bear.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros************** :** Well, we are doing significantly better than before! We still have multiple bases of operation and Locus has managed to acquire top-notch military equipment! He even helped us strategize some of our more recent victories. Mmm, though I would not consider your rescue to be one of them.

 **Washington:** I also wouldn't consider it to be a rescue.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros**************** :** Well, I can assure you that he was punished severly for taking such drastic measures against you! I made sure he wasn't paid a single penny for the job!

 **Washington:** How comforting.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros**************** :** Gentlemen, I am fully aware that I may never gain your trust. But let me be perfectly clear: we are not your enemy. The New Republic has your men and I can promise you, they are likely recruiting them into their rebellion as we speak. Now I can inform my troops not to attack them, but I cannot stop them from defending themselves. I'm.. also unable to promise you a safe escape from Chorus in the middle of this conflict. Most of our ships are shot down before they can escape the atmosphere.

 **Washington:** So what _can_ you promise us?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros**************** :** ( _sighs_ ) If you can help us defeat these terrorists, it would not only save our planet, it would also save your comrades. Then, once the skies are clear, you can leave this forsaken planet once and for all!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************** :** ( _to Wash_ ) ...Hmmm, I don't like it, but I'm not really seeing another way out. ( _to Patros_ ) Unless beating you unconscious would somehow work.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros**************** :** ( _laughs nervously_ ) Highly doubtful.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan************** :** Drat. I guess I'm in.

 _Wash looks at Charlotte._

 **Charlotte:** No man left behind, right?

 _Wash turns to Patros._

 **Washington:** I still have one question for you General.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Patros**************** :** Uh which issss?

 **Washington:** Where are.. our... robots?

 _Cut to the inside of a bunker. Dordoni is seen reactivating next to a Fed technician._

 **Dordoni:** ( _stands_ ) Higahergerk!

 **Fed Technician:** All right! Fixed up and ready to go.

 _Cut to Dordoni's HUD._

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan**************** :** Bienvenidos robo-buddy! You're back in the world of the living! Viva...la viva.

 _Cut back to Dordoni._

 ** **Dordoni** :** I wasn't dead. My limbs just stopped working and they put me in the trash can. It was the most enjoyable experience I have had in years. Then you showed up.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan**************** :** ( _chuckles_ ) No need to thank us son.

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** I made friends with a space rat.

 ** **Charlotte** :** We have got a lot of catching up to do!

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** Fill me in later. I'm sure it's stupid and confusing.

 **Washington:** Now, what about Freckles?

 **Fed Technician:** ( _confused_ ) Uh, what's a "Freckles?"

 _Locus suddenly appears before the group._

 **Locus:** Agent Washington is referring to a MANTIS-class military assault droid. And you won't find it among this wreckage.

 **Fed Technician:** Ahah, I'll uh, just look somewhere else then. ( _leaves_ )

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** :** Oh shit.

 _Wash positions himself in front of Baraggan, Charlotte, and Dordoni and aims his rifle at Locus._

 **Washington:** ( _distrusting_ ) Locus.

 _Locus approaches the four._

 **Locus:** The droid was malfunctioning. It refused to surrender, and was therefore destroyed.

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** ( _shocked_ ) He's dead?!

 **Locus:** It was a _machine_. It had no _life_ to begin with.

 ** ** ** **Dordoni****** :** Douche.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan****************** :** You know, it takes a lot of nerve to come strolling in here after what you did!

 **Locus:** Does presence upset you, Sergeant?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan****************** :** It gives me an ichy trigger finger. I can tell you that.

 **Washington:** ( _angrily_ ) What do you want?

 **Locus:** Aside from my initial examination, the men under my command were ordered to take you _alive_. All attacks were intended to wound, all shots were designed to intimidate. Let me assure you my raid on your base was calculated, cheoreoraphed, and designed to _apprehend_ you. Like herding sheep to the pen. Were it not for the intervention of the _mercenary_ and his forces, I would've succeeded entirely.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Baraggan****************** :** And what, is that supposed to make us feel better? 'Cause quite honestly it's having the opposite effect.

 **Locus:** It's supposed to make you understand.

 ** ** ** ** **Dordoni******** :** I understand you're a douche.

 **Locus:** ( _to Wash_ ) Agent Washington, I am a professional. I follow orders, and I complete my missions at all costs.

 **Washington:** I don't care what you think you are. You just stay away from me and my men.

 **Locus:** You still don't understand. Or perhaps... you do.

 **Washington:** What?

 _Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck appears behind Locus._

 ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck** :** ( _to Locus_ ) Excuse me! If someone tells you to leave them alone, you leave them alone.

 **Locus:** ...Of course, doctor.

 _Locus turns to Wash and hands him a storage unit._

 **Locus:** ( _to Wash_ ) Here.

 **Washington:** What is this?

 **Locus:** Before your droid was dismantled I had a technician remove its primary storage unit. Its "heart and mind", so to speak.

 _Wash quickly grabs the storage unit from Locus._

 **Washington:** Is this supposed to be some sort of apology?

 **Locus:** Is it?

 **Charlotte:** ( _quietly to Dordoni_ ) This guy doesn't make any sense.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Dordoni********** :** That's because he's insane.

 **Locus:** ( _menacingly_ ) I am not!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Dordoni************ :** HOLY SHIT. HE'S BILINGUAL. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.

 **Locus:** ( _to Wash_ ) You give meaning to meaningless objects and meaningless people, and risk your lives to protect them. Where's the sense in that? ...I look forward to your answer, soldier.

 _Locus leaves. Nelliel approaches the group._

 ** ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck**** :** Sorry about that. I promise the rest of us aren't like him. I'm Dr. Odelschwanck.

 ** **Charlotte** :** Ooooh, a doctor! That's like a medic who saves people!

 **Baraggan:** ( _chuckles_ ) You a civilian, little lady?

 ** ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck**** :** Civilian? ( _laughs hysterically_ ) I don't think you realize how bad this planet's gotten! The only people not wearing armor these days are dead! ( _laughs_ )

 **Washington:** I know you. Your voice?

 ** ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck**** :** Is that so? Oh, well I performed surgery on you after they brought you here. Sorry if you find a few new scars. A shot from a Concussion Rifle isn't bad, but a _severe_ injury to the back of the skull can be a little tricky. Especially when your head is filled with pretty little wires and chips. I hope I didn't damage those neural implants.

 **Washington:** I-I'm sure they're fine. Thank you.

 ** ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck**** :** You can thank me by ending this war as soon as possible! Bullet wounds and prosthetic limbs have become so booooring. So, come by my office tomorrow morning for a check up. Once you're cleared, you three will be shipping off.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Shipping off?

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** Where are we going?

 ** ** ** **Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck****** :** I don't give people orders boys, I just fix them when they break! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be back. Tomorrow morning. My office. 0800. ( _leaves_ )

 ** **Baraggan** :** Mmm. Well, what do you fellas think?

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** :** I think she's... nice?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Not the doc, Charlotte, the army! The general! The whole deelio! Nirgge and Findor are out there with the Blues! Alone, confused! Probably eating, and complaining, and back talking! God damn it Nirgge, just shut up already!

 **Washington:** We do what we have to, and go along with it for now.

 _Cut to an exterior view of the compound._

 **Washington:** ( _voice only_ ) I just hope the others aren't in too deep without us.

 **Well, a few more new character introduce into the series. Please review.**


	29. Ep 29

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Cloak and Dagger!_

 _Fade in to F.A.C Outpost 37, cuts to the Blood Gulch Crew standing in a hallway._

 **Rey:** Okay, hold up. You're telling me that the Feds are just as helpless as the New Republic? I thought they were evil!

 **Charlotte:** Well, we thought you were being brainwashed by terrorists!

 **Nirgge:** Terrorists? Our soldiers are a bunch of harmless morons!

 **Baraggan:** Your soldiers?

 **Findor:** We were all promoted to Captains, they gave us squads and everything.

 **Di-Roy:** _(quietly)_ Blue Team for life.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Clearly our enemy isn't as cunning as we once thought.

 **Washington:** _We_ don't have an enemy. As far as I can tell, both of these forces have reasons to fight, and _neither_ are particularly guilt-free. We've just been caught in the middle.

 ** **Rey** :** _(emphatic)_ But, the rebels aren't bad! Some of them are our friends.

 **Washington:** And we managed to make a few allies within the Federal Army. None of this makes either side any better. The New Republic started this war with extremest attacks on the capitol.

 ** **Rey** :** _(hostile)_ But only because the government was screwing them!

 ** **Nirgge** :** You gotta admit, it sounds kinda like a dick move.

 **Washington:** We need to get these two sides to talk to one another. Patros is in the capitol at the moment, but maybe he can get this Harribel woman to agree to a meeting. If they can come to some sort of understanding, we might be able to end this thing, and go home.

 ** **Findor** :** _(uneasy)_ This isn't right.

 **Washington:** Believe me, there's _plenty_ wrong with this situation. But I think this is our best move. I'm just glad you guys made it.

 ** **Findor** :** _(emphatic)_ No, seriously, I mean this doesn't _feel_ right. I just can't figure out what it is!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Is it a false sense of superiority? That's probably a side effect of the false promotion.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Minutes after re-uniting and you're already starting shit.

 ** **Baraggan** :** What did you expect, breakfast in bed?

 ** **Nirgge** :** I hate you.

 ** **Baraggan** :** I hate you more.

 ** **Findor** :** Wait, do you hear that?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **_(unsure)_ Uhh... No.

 **Charlotte:** You okay, Findor?

 ** ** **Findor**** :** What happened to the alarms?

 _Cut to outside the base, Warthog are overturned and weapons on the ground. There are no soldiers in sight._

 **Di-Roy:** _(confused)_ Uhh... Is it lunch time again?

 **Washington:** _(loudly)_ Hello? Dr. Odelschwanck? Anybody?!

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Dude. What's going on?

 **Washington:** _(troubled)_ I don't know.

 **Fed Trooper 1:** _(on radio)_ Enemy contact, fall back!

 **Fed Trooper 2:** _(on radio)_ Where'd he go? _Screams._

 **Washington:** _(yelling)_ Sarge!

 _Baraggan, Charlotte, and Dordoni drive by in a Rocket-hog._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Way ahead of you!

 ** ** ** **Findor****** :** _(panicked)_ What is happening?

 **Washington:** We're under attack!

 _The Rocket-hog drives over a hill. Charlotte and Baraggan get out._

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Charlotte, establish a perimeter!

 ** **Charlotte** :** Got it. (y _elling)_ Hey! Just so you guys know, you better not come over here!

 **Dordoni:** Usted avergonzar a ti mismo. _(You embarrass yourself.)_

 _A Fed runs up to Baraggan._

 **Fed:** Thank god, sir, you've got to help us. They came out of nowhere.

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** : **Who, the rebels?

 **Fed:** No!

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** Oh good, because we kinda just found out that they're really not that bad. Boy, have we got a story to tell you, and you are gonna laugh!

 **Fed:** It's not the rebels, sir. It's-

 _Fed is sniped by Binary Rifle and disintegrates. Cuts to Baraggan and the rest of the Blood Gulch Crew._

 **Rey:** Umm... Did everyone else see that?

 **Nirgge:** You mean a man disintegrate right in front of us?

 ** **Rey** :** Yep!

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** Really wish I hadn't.

 _Fed screams. Cut to Feds shooting randomly and all being disintegrated along with a tank. Dr. Odelschwanck is shown hiding behind a wall._

 **Nelliel:** _(fearfully)_ Oh, dear.

 _Cuts back to Blood Gulch Crew._

 ** ** ** ** **Findor******** :** We've gotta do something!

 ** **Nirgge** : **We could run! Running is something!

 _A sticky detonater round lands on the warthog._

 **Washington:** _(urgently)_ Get away from the car!

 _All run away from the warthog. Charlotte screams and Dordoni yells in Spanish. The jeep explodes._

 **Washington:** What are we dealing with?

 **Charlotte:** _(squealing)_ We don't know!

 **Baraggan:** Well it ain't the rebels, that's for sure.

 ** **Rey** :** Then who the hell is it?

 _Binary rifle beams appear on all of the Blood Gulch Crew and they lower their weapons. Cut to Locus becoming visible as he walks down a flight of stairs._

 **Locus:** Like sheep to the pen.

 **Washington:** Oh no.

 **Locus:** You're ready for slaughter.

 ** **Rey** : **_(angrily)_ Locus!

 _Rey raises his weapon._

 **Locus:** I advise you stand down, boy.

 _Members of the mercenary team become visible surrounding the Blood Gulch Crew. Rey grunts angrily and lowers his DMR._

 ** ** ** ** ** **Findor********** :** _(confused)_ The soldiers from the fueling station?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** I thought they were Feds,

 ** **Baraggan** :** Those ain't our guys.

 **Locus:** I told you, Agent Washington, I am a professional. I complete my missions at all costs. But you, and your comrades have put a blemish on my record.

 _Pans to show Rey preparing a grenade behind his back._

 **Locus:** This, is unacceptable.

 **Washington:** _(angrily)_ What are you talking about? You just killed the men you're working for!

 **Locus:** ( _grunts_ ) It appears you _don't_ understand after all. Unfortunate. You were such a fascinating soldier, Agent Washington.

 _Locus raises his sniper rifle while Rey gets ready to throw his grenade. Grimmjow darts in front of Washington and raises his Hardlight Shield just as Locus fires._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(confused)_ Huh?

 **Grimmjow:** _(urgently)_ Rey! Grenade!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Oh! Right!

 _Rey tosses Grimmjow the grenade._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _chuckling_ ) Ah, that was close! Nice throw, Rey! ( _laughing)_

 ** ** **Rey**** : **_(uneasy)_ Grimmjow?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** How many times have I jumped in front of a bullet for you, Wash? Three? Those are some pretty great reflexes, huh? Most people would have to, _plan_ that sort of thing.

 **Washington:** _(suspicious)_ Grimmjow, what are you doing?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Just helping out an old aquaintance.

 _Grimmjow throws the grenade up to Locus. Cut to a memory of Grimmjow and Locus fighting alongside each other._

 **Harribel:** _(memory)_ They fought together in the great war.

 _Cut back to Outpost 37._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **You missed a spot.

 **Locus:** Are you done?

 _Locus hands the grenade to the soldier on his left._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Not even close.

 **Nirgge:** _(indignant)_ Dude!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(shocked)_ This doesn't make sense! That's Locus, your enemy!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(mocking)_ Riiight, and I'm the charismatic mercenary with a gruff exterior, but a heart of gold. A little too romantic, don't you think?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **_(angry)_ But the guy fucking shot you!

 _Cuts to memory of Grimmjow being shot._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(memory)_ Oh! Son of a bitch!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Yeah, funny how an act of sacrifice like that buys you so much trust. And _so_ much information.

 _Cut between memories._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(memory)_ Weren't you with another freelancer? And an A.I.?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(memory)_ I need a detailed list of the supplies you've got on hand.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(memory)_ You wouldn't happen to have any high-tech armor on board that wreck, would you?

 _Cut back to the present._

 **Findor:** ( _confused_ ) But you're supposed to hate each other!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Oh, we do. After all, you should never mix friends with business.

 **Locus:** _(impatient)_ Wrap it up.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** But we just work so well together.

 _Cut to a memory._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(memory)_ Run!

 **Pesche:** _(memory)_ What about Jerome?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(memory)_ Get down!

 _Locus dives to the ground as buildings explode. Cut back to present._

 **Baraggan:** ( _furious_ ) You dirty liar!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(indignant)_ Hey, whoa whoa whoa. I never actually _lied_ to you idiots, okay? Well, except for once. _(mocking)_ You're some of the galaxy's greatest soldiers! _(huffs)_ Now that couldn't be farther from the truth. But, you know, it _did_ make you the perfect candidates to lead the people of Chorus.

 **Locus:** _(impatient)_ Stop boasting and let me kill them. We have a job to do.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(to Blood Gulch Crew)_ Ooh, that's right, he doesn't like you guys. He actually thinks there might be a few fighters among you. Ha! Told you he's crazy.

 **Washington:** _(furious)_ But why? Why the capture, why make _us_ part of this war?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Well, you see-

 **Locus:** _(frustrated)_ Grimmjow!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _angry_ ) No! I've had to put up with these _morons_ every day, so you let me have this. _(continuing to Washington)_ You see, someone, somewhere, out in our galaxy, has their eye set on this planet. The only problem, is the inhabitants. Now, if it were up to me, I'd just nuke this place from orbit. But our employer, has other ideas.

 _Cut to memory of Crash Site Bravo, with Grimmjow on a cliff._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Holy shit. It's actually them.

 **Locus:** Back off, Control wants them alive.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(worried)_ Oh no.

 _Cut back to Outpost 37._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** We have to play this thing carefully, you understand? If an entire planet dies overnight, well, people ask questions. But if you stumble onto this rock and find that the settlers killed _each other_ , well, that's just a tragedy!

 _Cut to a memory showing Grimmjow and Locus killing leaders of the New Republic._

 **Harribel:** _(memory)_ Our first leader was killed in action, the second was assassinated at what we had been _told_ would be a peace treaty. And the third was blown out of the sky while trying to leave Chorus for help.

 **Rey:** _(accusing)_ It was you. You started this war!

 ** **Grimmjow** : **_(Buzzer noise)_ Wronng! These people hated each other way before our operation ever showed up, we just had to keep the hate train a-goin'. And let me tell you, you guys have helped so much.

 _Cut to carnage from the Battle at Crash Site Bravo and back to the present._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(coldly)_ Does it hurt? Knowing just how much death you've brought to this planet?

 **Locus:** ( _angry_ ) Enough! How many times must I tell you, if you want to make the victim suffer, you do it quickly, and efficiently. There will be no rescue for you. You will die here, today, along with the rest. No one will find your bodies, no one will know the truth, and _no one_ is going to stop us from killing every last person on this planet!

 **Unknown Mercenary:** All right, that's all I need to hear.

 _The mercenary drops Rey's grenade on the ground and leaps off the building in slow motion._

 **Locus:** ( _furious_ ) KILL THEM!

 _The unknown mercenary lands in front of Grimmjow._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Who the fuck are you?

 _Unknown Mercenary fires at Grimmjow with a suppressor. Grimmjow activates his Hardlight Shield, deflecting the shots. The reflected bolts knock the suppressor out of the Mercenary's hands and the weapon lands at Nirgge's feet._

 **Nirgge:** ( _panicked_ ) WHAT IS GOING ON?!

 **Washington:** _(yelling)_ Just grab it and shoot!

 _The Blood Gulch Crew begin firing wildly, Nirgge also picking up the supressor and opening fire, gunning down several mercenaries. Dr. Odelschwanck runs up and sees the battle._

 **Nelliel:** _(confused)_ Wash?

 _Grimmjow and the Unknown Mercenary engage in hand-to-hand combat. Grimmjow is kicked to the ground._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(grunting)_ You think you're fast?

 _Grimmjow is knocked down again._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(exasperated)_ Oh, what the fuck?

 **Unknown Mercenary:** _(amused)_ Faster than you.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Let's change that.

 _Felix stabs the Unknown Mercenary in the leg, causing her to yell in pain. Felix kicks her over at the Blood Gulch Crew._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Locus!

 _Locus steps forward with an Incineration Cannon. The Unknown Mercenary pulls out a Teleportation Cube._

 **Unknown Mercenary:** Stay close!

 ** **Nelliel** :** _(desperately running towards the Reds and Blues)_ Wait, stop!

 _The Unknown mercenary throws the cube at the ground, teleporting her, the Blood Gulch Crew, and Dr._ _ _Odelschwanck_ away from the area, just as Locus' shot hits. Grimmjow looks up at Locus._

 **Locus:** _(fuming)_ Call Control.

 _Cut to the Blood Gulch Crew and Dr. Odelschwanck appearing in a remote location._

 **Nirgge:** _(disoriented)_ Uh... What just happened, and why did it hurt?

 ** **Nelliel** :** ( _dazed_ ) Uh... Where am I?

 **Di-Roy:** I think my insides were just outside.

 **Washington:** _(strained)_ Ugh, is everyone okay?

 **Carolina:** _(entertained)_ You know, I never thought I'd be so glad to see you idiots again.

 _The Unknown Mercenary's steel color fades, revealing it to be Carolina._

 **Rey:** Carolina?

 **Epsilon:** That's not all!

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina ._

 **Epsilon:** _(spreads his arms.)_ Miss me, assholes?

 _Rey throws his DMR to the ground._

 ** **Rey** :** You fuck!

 _He charges towards Epsilon, but falls through him and hits the ground._

 **Epsilon:** Huh. _(Carolina and Epsilon look at each other.)_ Wasn't expecting that.


	30. Ep 30

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Long Time No See!_

 _ **WEEKS EARLIER...**_

 _Open in on the interior of a security room. A mercenary is seen relaxing at his post._

 _ **ABANDONED(?) F.A.C. MUNITIONS PLANT**_

 _Suddenly, the room's motion detector sets off: " **MOTION DETECTOR SECURITY ROOM** ," causing the mercenary to look around. However, the room is vacant. As the alarm continues to sound off, the mercenary turns to it and taps it, briefly turning off the alarm. However, the alarm sets off again, prompting the mercenary to look around the room once again. The mercenary then reaches for the alarm, when suddenly, his radio activates, surprising him._

 **Genga:** ( _surprised_ ) Ahhh!

 **HQ:** ( _over radio_ ) Come in security. This is headquarters.

 ** **Genga** :** ( _picks up radio_ ) Jesus. Yeah, copy HQ. You scared the crap out of me Harv.

 **HQ:** ( _over radio_ ) Sorry Genga. Hey, meant to tell ya, got a maintenance ticket for your console. Day shift says throwing up warnings.

 ** **Genga** :** Yeah, okay. Motion sensor says there's movement in the room but, there's nothing here.

 **HQ:** ( _over radio_ ) Ah, that's probably an, you know, bad indicator or somethin'. Or maybe it's that super soldier right behind you who's about to knock you out.

 _Carolina, camouflaged in black armor, appears behind Sam._

 ** **Genga** :** ( _chuckles_ ) Yeah. ( _confused_ ) ...What?

 _Carolina punches Genga, knocking him out. The radio slides across the floor._

 **Epsilon:** ( _over radio_ ) Probably that last one, just a guess. Sleep tight, Genga.

 _Carolina picks up the radio and speaks to Epsilon through it._

 **Epsilon:** _(over radio)_ You set off the motion sensor, Carolina? Amateur hour.

 **Carolina:** You're supposed to disable the motion sensors?

 **Epsilon:** _(over radio)_ Well, I couldn't do that until I got in the room.

 **Carolina:** And I couldn't get you into the room without setting off the motion sensor.

 **Epsilon:** _(over radio)_ Well, you could. You just didn't.

 **Carolina:** Can we just get into the database? I need the files.

 _Epsilon appears on the control panel._

 **Epsilon:** Already in! Give me a drive.

 _Carolina inserts a storage unit in the panel._

 **Carolina:** How long to decrypt it?

 **Epsilon:** Oh, please! Already done!

 **Carolina:** Already?

 **Epsilon:** It's a 3-tier lockdown with a 2056-bit encryption key; it ain't rocket science.

 **Carolina:** You're getting faster.

 **Epsilon:** Wow... that sounded like a compliment, I will take it.

 **Carolina:** How long to transfer?

 **Epsilon:** About 45 seconds.

 **Carolina:** And you can't make that go any quicker?

 **Epsilon:** Well, that's the limitation of physical media; don't even get me started on that. Besides, that should give you enough time to deal with the three security personnel who are about to come through the door.

 **Carolina:** Wh... which door?

 **Epsilon:** There's only one door... They just set a breaching charge, by the way.

 **Carolina:** WHAT?!

 **Epsilon:** Detonates in 3...

 **Carolina:** Why didn't you tell me?

 **Epsilon:** 2... I just did.

 _Carolina takes cover behind the table in the middle of the room._

 **Carolina:** _Epsilon..._

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** 1... Oh, you'll be fine!

 _The breaching charge goes off, blowing up the door, which flies in the room; three security guard are behind it, pointing their rifles at Carolina. Everything starts slowing down, until time seems to freeze. Epsilon looks at the control panel, where a floating HUD shows the time needed for the transfer, going down REALLY slowly._

 **Epsilon:** If 45 seconds was a long time for you, Carolina... Pfft. Imagine what it is to me.

 _Epsilon turns around and looks at the guards, still "frozen" in time, while he throws away his holographic sniper rifle, which disappears._

 **Epsilon:** Alright. What do we have here?

 _Epsilon gets close to the guards and examines their weapons._

 **Epsilon:** Well, you boys look well armed. All this for just one girl, huh?

 _Another HUD pops up, displaying informations about the weapons._

 **Epsilon:** Really? Model 44?

 _Epsilon-Delta appears next to Epsilon._

 **Epsilon:** Hey, D? Uh, isn't there a high jam probability on those things?

 **Delta:** The Charon Model 44 sidearm does not jam. You are thinking of the 42.

 _Three light rays are projected from the rifles, simulating the trajectory of the bullets. Two rays end on Carolina's body, one on her head. Epsilon and Delta turn around to look._

 **Epsilon:** You mean _we're_ thinking of it.

 _Epsilon disappears._

 **Delta:** Technically only _you_ are thinking of it. I am just a memory of Delta.

 _Epsilon reappears next to the wall, observing the situation from the side of the room._

 **Epsilon:** Well, I like to have someone to talk to. I get lonely sometimes.

 _Delta moves next to Epsilon_

 **Delta:** May I suggest buying a dog?

 **Epsilon:** Yeah... I'll consider it.

 _Epsilon-Theta appears next to them._

 **Theta:** We're getting a dog?!

 **Epsilon:** No, Theta!

 **Theta:** Awww...

 **Delta:** The model 44 does use computer-assisted aim. You could overload the processor and reduce accuracy by as much as 45%.

 **Epsilon:** Sounds good! Put the twins on it!

 _Epsilon's memories of Iota and Eta appear in front of the guards and sabotage the rifles. The HUD shows accuracy decreasing to 49%._

 **Epsilon:** Alright, let's account for that in trajectories.

 **Theta:** Are you talking to me, or to Delta?

 **Delta:** He's talking to all of us, Theta.

 **Epsilon:** I'm just thinking out loud, guys.

 _The light rays turn into small cones; Carolina is still in the middle of a great part of the shots._

 **Epsilon:** Alright... No, that's good, but we can do better.

 _Theta disappears. A blue signal shows the trajectory of the door after the explosion, ending right next to the table. Theta moves next to the signal._

 **Theta:** Oh, oh, look at this! You can use the door as a shield!

 **Epsilon:** Hey, thanks, buddy!

 _A hologram of the door bounces across the room showing the door landing next to the table and falling to the right. An arrow appears next to Carolina, indicating to move behind it._

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, that's better.

 **Delta:** Still, blood loss would be-.

 **Epsilon:** G-God, I'm not done yet, Delta. Just give me a second, ok?

 **Delta:** A second is a long time for someone in our time-base, Skullak.

 **Epsilon:** _(getting frustrated)_ Just, hey, lis- everybody stop talking to me at once, please!

 _Epsilon's memory of Omega appears directly in front of him._

 **Omega:** Are you getting angry, Epsilon?

 **Epsilon:** No! I'm fine! Beat it!

 _Epsilon waves his hand through Omega and pushes him away._

 **Omega:** I'm here if you need me.

 **Theta:** He's scary.

 **Epsilon:** Hey, he can't do anything as long as we ignore him. Okay, kiddo?

 _A HUD appears next to Delta, listing the armor upgrades Carolina has managed to retrieve._

 **Delta:** Might I suggest preparing her healing unit?

 **Epsilon:** Nope, I'm gonna need the power for her escape.

 **Delta:** Assuming, we make it that far.

 **Epsilon:** D, you are _killing_ me with the negativity. _(HUD closes)_ Why don't you help me out and give me a bio-scan of these losers.

 _Delta reappears in front of one of the soldiers with a HUD containing bio-scan results._

 **Delta:** This one has recently had knee surgery.

 **Epsilon:** Thank you! Okay, let's blow the bolts on that maintenance hatch, give him a little bit of a stumble.

 _The first soldier fires._

 **Delta:** First shot fired.

 **Epsilon:** Alright, let's wrap this up. Gamma, where are we at?

 _The memory of Gamma is standing next to the drive bay monitoring the download._

 **Gamma:** Files still transferring.

 _Epsilon appears over Carolina's shoulder._

 **Epsilon:** Okay, Carolina. How's your aim?

 _Delta displays a HUD listing Carolina's projected accuracy as 92%._

 **Delta:** She hasn't been sleeping well.

 **Theta:** She's been having bad dreams... about the bad guy.

 _Sigma briefly appears behind Epsilon before vanishing._

 **Epsilon:** No, Theta, she's fine. Don't worry about it.

 _Delta's HUD lowers Carolina's accuracy to 82%._

 **Epsilon:** Delta! She's! Fine!

 **Delta:** _(restoring her accuracy)_ This isn't very scientific.

 **Epsilon:** Well, sometimes, you just have to operate on faith.

 **Delta:** That seems unwise.

 _Projected paths to take appear overlaid on the room, showing deaths and kill counts._

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, but it is more... _(Epsilon selects a path resulting in 3 K.O.s and no kills) ..._ fun. There, that'll do it.

 **Theta:** She won't like that injury part.

 _A HUD shows a 94% chance of success with a 63% chance of success without injury._

 **Epsilon:** She never does, but if she lives to complain about it, she still lives. Thanks, guys.

 _The memories vanish and Epsilon appears in front of Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Alright, looks like it's just you and me, sis. Transfer analysis to your HUD. Let's do this.

 _After a bright flash, time resumes at normal speed as the door comes to rest in front of Carolina. An indicator on her HUD shows her to head to her right._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Roll right!

 _Carolina rolls behind the door, as the maintenance hatch opens, causing one soldier to stumble._

 **Soldier on left:** ARGH!

 _Carolina leaps over the door as she continues to receive fire, shooting the soldier on the right. A bullet hits her in the helmet and leaves her stunned for a second. She grabs the door and throws it at him. She approaches the last soldier, still caught in the maintenance hatch._

 **Soldier:** Urrgh, You... BITCH!

 _Carolina punches the soldier, knocking her out and knocking her helmet off._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon. ( _No response_ ) Skullak!

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Yeah, yeah, I'm here. I just lost a few pathways, but I can still hear you. How'd you do?

 **Carolina:** Had to improvise at the end, but you got me started.

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Eh, I had faith.

 **Carolina:** Thanks.

 _Carolina recovers the storage unit from the panel._

 **Carolina:** Data's here. Looks like our little scavenger hunt just got easier.

 _A hologram of a Binary Rifle appears._

 **Carolina:** You see this?

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Yep. Grab a helmet. We'll do some repairs on the way.

 _Carolina grabs the female soldier's helmet as alarms start going off._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Sorry, there's nothing I can do about that in this state. You need to move.

 **Carolina:** Already gone.

 _Carolina activates her Speed Boost and runs out of the room. Cut to a cliff edge overlooking a facility. Carolina is examining the specs on the Binary Rifle._

 **Carolina:** Apparently our friends in black aren't just focused on armor enhancements. These weapons are more advanced than anything we've encountered. How are they funding all of this?

 _The hologram disappears as Epsilon appears._

 **Epsilon:** Well, speak of the devil...

 _Epsilon pulls a video feed of Locus and Control._

 **Epsilon:** ... And he shall appear.

 **Carolina:** Another message from Control?

 **Epsilon:** Yep. I picked out a clip you might find interesting. ( _plays clip_ )

 **Control:** What did we lose?

 **Locus:** A healing unit, as well as several miscellaneous files.

 **Carolina:** Sounds like last week's raid made the headlines.

 **Epsilon:** Keep listening. There's something you need to hear.

 **Control:** This is unacceptable, Locus. I thought you told me you only work with reliable partners.

 **Locus:** I do. The individual in charge of that outpost has been eliminated. I saw to the matter personally.

 **Control:** I'm not paying you to put bullets through the heads of space pirates. I'm paying you to ensure the acquisition of my property. And when I lose my property, you lose your payment.

 _A video feed of Grimmjow pops up._

 **Grimmjow:** If I could interject for a second, you're not _just_ paying to collect the Freelancer tech from the crash.

 **Carolina:** Wait. Who is that?

 **Control:** Grimmjow. Straying away from the New Republic to join the conversation for once. To what do we owe the pleasure?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Those sim troopers you dumped on us are proving even more of a handful than an asset. If they find where we're keeping Wash, and if Harribel thinks they're ready, I'm not gonna be able to stop them from searching for their leaders. And if they find their leaders, this whole civil war charade's gonna fall apart real quick.

 **Carolina:** What?

 **Control:** I can assure you, they will never be ready.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** That's what I said, but my partner isn't convinced.

 **Control:** We will continue to move Agent Washington's group sporadically and-

 **Locus:** Sir, what if they do manage to make contact?

 **Control:** This inquisitive behavior does not suit you Locus. If the Reds and Blues manage to reunite... Kill them.

 _The conversation cuts out and disappears._

 **Epsilon:** Carolina,we have to go back.

 **Carolina:** What the hell is going on on this planet?

 **Epsilon:** We can figure that out along the way. Right now we just need to get back to the guys. If Control has infiltrated both sides of this war -

 **Carolina:** I know. Recovering equipment can wait.

 **Epsilon:** Actually, there's one more thing I wanna pick up.

 **Carolina:** What?

 **Epsilon:** We're a long way from the guys.

 _Epsilon pulls the specs on Teleportation Grenades._

 **Epsilon:** So what we need is a shortcut.

 _Carolina picks up the Mercenary helmet she grabbed._


	31. Ep 31

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _The Reunion!_

 _Fade in to reveal the Blood Gulch Crew and Nelliel at Carolina and Epsilon's secret hideout. Carolina's Suppressor is seen in the background. Nelliel is seen using her medical scanner to treat Carolina's thigh wound._

 **Carolina:** How bad is it?

 _ **PRESENT DAY...**_

 **Nelliel:** Well, fortunately, he missed your femoral artery.

 **Carolina:** That's good.

 _ **FOREST BASE**_

 ** **Nelliel** :** ( _stands_ ) No sweetie, you had a knife inside of you. That's the opposite of good.

 **Carolina:** Call me "sweetie" again, and there'll be a knife inside of you.

 ** **Nelliel** :** Oooooh, you're hostile! I'd love to psychoanalyze you.

 **Carolina:** ( _annoyed_ ) The leg, please!

 ** **Nelliel** :** Oh, yes. Be sure not to put any unnatural strain on those muscles. If you reopen the wound, it won't be pretty.

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Great. Hey, way to go, Carolina. Taken out by an over-sized steak knife.

 **Carolina:** Well maybe if someone had remembered to account for hidden blades...

 **Epsilon:** Hey, I'm an A.I., not a babysitter.

 _Dr. Odelschwanck stands up behind them._

 ** **Nelliel** : **Sooooooooo, there's a tiny ghost man here. Anyone care to introduce me?

 **Di-Roy:** Oh that's Skullak. Yeah, he had to leave for a while but I knew he would come back.

 **Rey:** Bullshit, you were totally depressed.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Pssh, ah what?! No! No, Rey! You're not remembering that right! No, I would not do something like that. I would not spiral downward into an emotional state of evidence and try to fill the remains with a mechanical pet just because I miss Skullak! Stupid Rey.

 ** **Nelliel** : **Oh _(looks at Carolina)_ forget you, I wanna analyze him.

 **Wash:** Dr. Odelschwanck, this is Agent Carolina. She and I were operatives for Project Freelancer. As for Skullak, he's an artificial intelligence fragment from the same organization. Codename: Epsilon. And to make a long story short, he kind of used to be leader of blue team before I showed up.

 **Epsilon:** _(appearing in front of Wash)_ And tried to murder us.

 **Wash:** That was a misunderstanding.

 **Epsilon:** I know, I'm just sayin', don't gloss over the good parts.

 ** **Rey** : **At least he didn't abandon us.

 ** **Nelliel** :** _(joyfully)_ Psychoanalyses for everyone!

 **Charlotte:** Oh boy, can I go first? I have got a lot of things crammed inside me!

 **Baraggan:** Now hold up just a second. I wanna know what in the name of Benedict Arnold Palmer is going on around here! We've been tricked, we've been backstabbed and we've been quite possibly, bamboozled.

 **Nirgge:** Yeah, and whenever that shit starts happening, it typically means you Freelancers had something to do with it.

 **Carolina:** Project Freelancer is gone. We all saw to that.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** :** 'Colorful Space Marines Stop Corruption.' That was the news article Locus brought General Paros when he suggested we find you. I always thought the title was meant to describe your appearances, but, now I think I get what the writer was going for.

 **Carolina:** What I'm saying is that Project Freelancer isn't behind any of this. This is, something else.

 ** **Rey** :** Hmm, the plot thickens.

 **Epsilon:** Look, man, after we crashed, Carolina picked up a transmission. A couple of assholes were talking about selling cloaking equipment to another bunch of assholes. There was no way we were gonna let that fly. So, she decided to leave, I decided to go with her! Figured you guys would be fine, OK?

 ** **Rey** :** ( _sarcastic_ ) Oh, yeah, totally. We were totally fine, just doing our thing ,hanging out, drinking margaritas, getting captured by evil mercenaries. Grreat time!

 **Epsilon:** Ohh, man, Rey, I am so sorr-, I mean it, my sincerest apologies, I had no idea that you had turned into such a whiny bitch while I was gone.

 _Rey shoots Epsilon, but the bullet passes through his projection. Epsilon appears before Rey._

 **Epsilon:** And you still haven't grasped the concept of a hologram. Man, you're just having a really tough time today, aren't you, buddy?

 **Findor:** Man, and I thought we had issues.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Heh, this is better than any daytime television drama. And that's some quality programming.

 ** **Charlotte** :** Maybe Skullak will turn out to be someone's long-lost brother.

 ** **Nirgge** :** I think we've had enough plot twists for one lifetime.

 ** **Charlotte** :** And his real name is Horatio!

 ** **Baraggan** :** I'd watch it.

 **Wash:** Alright enough. Rey, there's no way they could have known all of this would happen. Right now we need to focus on the bigger issues at hand. Even if Epsilon is being a prick.

 **Epsilon:** Oh, don't you start too.

 **Carolina:** We started investigating. And it didn't take long for us to realise that something was very wrong with this planet. Abandoned cities, Soldiers everywhere. We kept to the shadows and gathered as much intel as we could, and what we found was worse than I had anticipated.

 **Wash:** How so?

 **Carolina:** This third faction on Chorus, these space pirates, have managed to acquire Freelancer equipment and are manufacturing more advanced versions of it on a mass scale. Versions that don't require the assistance of an A.I.

 ** **Findor** : **But how is that possible? I thought the UNSC confiscated everything Project Freelancer ever created.

 **Carolina:** They did, but then they put those creations on a ship, and that ship crashed here.

 **Rey:** Wait, what?

 **Epsilon:** Guys, don't you think it's a little weird that our transport vessel also happen to be carrying tons of weapons and vehicles, and that it just so happened to magically crash on a planet in need of those kind of things.

 **Wash:** What exactly are you suggesting?

 **Carolina:** Someone wanted our ship to crash.

 _Brief pause._

 ** **Findor** : **Soooo, what your saying is, there's no way any of us could be responsible for the crash.

 **Carolina:** I..., well..., yes. Why do you ask?

 _Cut to the UNSC ship, near the maintenance area. Findor exits maintenance and is approached by a UNSC spaceship operator._

 **Spaceship Operator:** Sir, this area is reserved for authorized personnel only. What were you doing in there?

 ** **Findor** :** Oh! Sorry, I just noticed you guys were using a really outdated web browser. I went ahead and updated it for you. Now it's the one NASA uses! Heh, no need to thank me.

 **Spaceship Operator:** Those are the ship's navigation systems! You can't just update that stuff!

 ** **Findor** :** Tell me about it! Once I started with the browser, I couldn't stop myself from changing the graphics card too!

 **Spaceship Operator:** You WHAT?!

 ** **Findor** :** And the motherboard. And the fan. And- oh hey, by the way! Uh, I'm glad you're here. How do you feel about acrylic window panels?

 **Spaceship Operator:** I...

 ** **Findor** :** The answer is, you love 'em.

 _The ship's alarm goes off. Cut back to the forest base._

 **Wash, Rey,** ** **Findor** , Nirgge, and Baraggan:** No reason!

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Uh, you guys are missing the point! Someone managed to ensure that Freelancer equipment made it _right here_ ; to this tiny rock in the middle of space. These guys aren't just some-just some asshole raiders and mercenaries; they're organized, and they've managed to work their way into our own forces!

 **Carolina:** In short, we have no idea who we can trust until we find the people behind all of this.

 **Rey:** Okay, hold up, aren't we all forgetting something here?

 **Di-Roy:** Ah! Yesterday was Mother's Day.

 ** **Rey** :** There are two armies that are ready to blow each other's brains out thanks to Locus and Grimmjow. We gotta tell them they're being used.

 **Carolina:** That's... not going to be easy.

 ** **Rey** :** What do you mean? We've got those teleporter cubes. That's how we got here right? Let's just zap ourselves over to the New Republic.

 **Epsilon:** Rey, we've only got a few of those things left, they're kinda tricky to use, they put an enormous strain on the physical body, which, by the way, all of you have. That's not even the main problem though.

 **Carolina:** Those two mercenaries are _thorough_. They've got some sort of radio jammer set up that only allow broadcasting on certain frequencies, _and_ they monitor all other open channels.

 _Fade to a flashback of Locus arriving at the forest base. He approaches a radio set up nearby._

 **Carolina:** ( _voice over_ ) We tried to contact you when we overheard your radio transmission to Charlotte from the crash site. Not only did we fail, but Locus managed to trace the call back to this hideout. We were lucky he missed us and I doubt we'll have luck on our side again.

 _Carolina and Epsilon spot Locus near the radio and quickly flee. Fade back to the present._

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, and if they've gone through all this trouble to keep their radios quiet, I can guarantee you they're not gonna let you guys within a mile of Patros or Harribel. If they're not already by their side, then their cloaked space buddies _definitely_ are.

 **Carolina:** We need more intel. We need the upper hand on these guys before we can even _think_ about taking them on again. And to make matters worse, we don't have much time.

 ** **Baraggan** : **What makes you say that?

 **Carolina:** We've managed to eavesdrop on a few conversations between the mercenaries and someone calling themselves "Control." They've got plans and protocols for just about everything. And I'm willing to bet they've got one for this.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Meaning?

 _Epsilon appears in front of Rey._

 **Epsilon:** Look at it this way: eleven people on this planet know what's really going on, and until those eleven people are tracked down and killed, I'm talking about you guys, by the way, there's really only one thing these space pirates can do; And that's to finish what they started.

 _Fade to the inside of a compound, where a dead Federal soldier is seen laying against a wall. Grimmjow throws a knife through the Federal soldier's visor. Grimmjow is then seen pacing back and forth behind Locus._

 **Grimmjow:** ( _pacing back and forth_ ) Oh, ooohhh, wonderful. Duped by a Freelancer posing as one of our own men. Can you TASTE the irony in that!?

 **Locus:** If you've kept your ego under control, they'd be dead by now.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Okay, no, we don't have the facts to prove that, alright? So let's not, y'know, start throwin' blame out, or anything, okay, please? Thank you. You're welcome.

 **Locus:** Stop talking.

 _Control begins to speak to Locus and Grimmjow._

 **Control:** ( _voice over_ ) Gentlemen. Though I'm inclined to further chastise you for your most recent failure, I suggest we focus on the opportunity at hand.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** And exactly which opportunity is that?

 **Control:** The Reds and Blues are missing.

 **Locus:** It won't be long before my scout team finds them.

 **Control:** Perhaps. But all that truly matters is that you prevent them from making contact with their armies.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** We got snipers shadowing the generals as we speak.

 **Control:** Marvelous. Then you are to report back to your respective armies, and report the deaths of the Reds and Blues. They will become the martyrs needed to push these people towards one, final confrontation. Do i make myself clear?

 _Fade to Locus and Grimmjow informing Patros and Harribel, respectively, of the Reds' and Blues' "deaths." At the New Republic, Grimmjow notices Sung-sun, Tesla, Dondochakka, and Pesche, expressing their distraught. Pesche covers his visor with his hand,_ _ _Dondochakka_ walks off and beats his fists into the air in anger, Sung-sun lowers her head in grief, which Tesla notices. He consoles her as she breaks down on his shoulder. Fade back to the dead Fed at the compound. Grimmjow pulls his knife out of the Fed's visor._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Crystal.


	32. Ep 32

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Catch Up, No Mustard!_

 _Fade in to the forest base. The Reds and Blues surround Nirgge, who is aiming his Suppressor at them._

 **Carolina:** Nirgge,... we just want to look at it.

 **Nirgge:** That's what the UNSC guys said about the "Nirgge Shot," and I never saw it again!

 **Carolina:** ( _confused_ ) The what?

 **Findor:** Meta's weapon. Nirgge kept it as a trophy until the UNSC confiscated it.

 **Charlotte:** Until then, I thought _I_ was the only one man enough around here to cry, but Nirgge proved me wrong.

 **Rey:** Ha!

 ** **Nirgge** :** ( _lowers Suppressor_ ) It had sentimental value!

 **Baraggan:** Damn it Nirgge! Hand over that laser this instant!

 ** **Nirgge** :** You can't tell me what to do! I outrank you, again!

 ** **Baraggan** :** What th- bur- Well... ( _loads Shotgun_ ) Let's see you outrank the end of my shotgun!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Uh, done. ( _raises Suppressor_ ) Fucking space laser, bitch.

 **Epsilon:** ( _appears next to Carolina_ ) Yeah, this is taking forever.

 _Epsilon switches to his 'ghost' form and possesses Nirgge._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Hey! Hey wait a minute- Hurk-egh!

 **Epsilon:** ( _possessing Nirgge_ ) Hoo! Ugh... Okay, alright here you go. ( _drops Suppressor_ )

 **Carolina:** Thanks. ( _picks up Suppressor_ ) Ugh... Why is this so _greasy_?

 **Epsilon:** You think that's bad? Imagine how I feel right now. Being inside this body is like trying to breathe through a trash can.

 _Epsilon exits Nirgge's body_

 ** **Nirgge** :** He-gurk-gah... God damn it! I hate that!

 **Nelliel:** ( _excited_ ) FASCINATING! An A.I. with the ability to jump from soldier to soldier!? ( _to Carolina_ ) Tell me, does he travel via your neural implants or is it something more subtle?

 **Carolina:** Implants. All Freelancer personnel have them.

 ** **Rey** :** I thought only the Alpha could do that.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, Just another trick I picked up from one of my... ( _starts flickering_ ) old memory... buddies. God, it gives me a headache though...

 **Carolina:** C'mon, let's dismantle this thing and see what we can learn.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Hey- look- but-

 **Carolina:** When we're done, you can have it back in one piece... probably.

 **Findor:** ( _excited_ ) Ooh! Ooh! You mind If I tag along?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Yeah! Advanced weaponry is my fifth favorite hobby! Right behind destroying my enemies, but just ahead of karaoke!

 **Carolina:** No... thanks, uh... I think Epsilon and I have it handled. Why don't you catch up for a while? You've all been through a lot. ( _walks off_ )

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, I'd stick around for the reunion but uh... some of you guys still seem pretty pissed at me so... I'm just gonna wait for that to settle... ( _disappears_ )

 **Charlotte:** Sooo... How have you guys been?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** Shut up.

 ** **Charlotte** :** Same old, same old, huh? That's cool.

 ** **Nelliel** :** Well... I don't want to intrude on such a sweet moment of reconnection...

 **Washington:** Fine with me.

 ** **Nelliel** :** I was being polite, I'm actually far more interested in foreign technology. Bye! ( _runs off_ )

 **Di-Roy:** Okay bye! ...She seems nice.

 ** **Charlotte** :** Right?

 ** **Findor** :** I think she has a few screws loose...

 **Rey:** Oh-ho I could always help her out with that. Bow-chicka-bow-

 ** **Di-Roy** :** WAIT!

 ** **Rey** :** Aw c'mon dude, it's been ages!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Washington! I-I almost forgot! Uh-uh-uh... Where's Freckles? Uh, he probably had some screws loose also.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Ohhh... Y'know what? I think I'm just gonna go take a peek at that laser thing after all. I'm just dying to see it... (Findor _and Dordoni look at him_ ) Uh... I mean it's killin' me not to- Uh... Oh... ( _pauses to think_ ) Nope. Got nothin'.

 _Baraggan runs off._

 ** **Findor** :** Yeeaahh...

 _Findor and Nirgge run off._

 **Dordoni:** ( _Caption_ ) Smooth.

 _Dordoni runs off. Washington looks at Rey. The latter walks off._

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah, this is great. Skullak is back, you're back, it's like all of us made it back safe and sound in one piece! No problem.

 **Washington:** Ehh, Di-Roy...

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Alive!

 **Washington:** Di-Roy, uh... I'm not really sure how to tell you this... without both confusing you and breaking your disturbingly fragile heart.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB!

 **Washington:** Jesus Christ... ( _clears throat_ ) Di-Roy, I'm afraid this... is all that's left of Freckles. ( _shows Di-Roy Freckles' storage unit_ ) It's his brain... sort of.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** ( _stares at the storage chip_ ) Freckles? You're- you're- ( _joyfully_ ) you're so tiny now!

 _Di-Roy grabs Freckles' storage unit out of Wash's hand and joyfully points it to the sky._

 **Washington:** ( _confused_ ) Uh, what?

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** ( _fondles the storage unit_ ) It's so good to see you again! ( _pets the storage unit_ ) Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy, Freckles?

 **Washington:** So you're... okay then?

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Ah, Wash this is great! Now he can fit in my pocket and I don't have to worry about him trying to kill anyone anymore.

 **Washington:** I guess that _is_ sort of better.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Thanks for looking out for Freckles, Wash. I know he can be a handful.

 **Washington:** Literally, at this point.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Alright, let's go for a walk Freckles, ( _quietly_ ) 'cause Wash is acting weird and dramatic again. ( _runs off_ ) Good to have ya' back, Agent Washington!

 **Washington:** Hmm. It's good to be back.

 **Nirgge:** ( _off screen_ ) Back off lady, or I will put you in the ground!

 **Washington:** Aaand, the moment's passed.

 _Cut to Nirgge aiming his Suppressor at Carolina. Nelliel and the Reds and Blues watch nearby._

 ** **Nirgge** :** ( _angrily_ ) You were about to take it apart!

 **Carolina:** ( _frustrated_ ) What did you think "dismantle" meant?

 _Wash approaches Findor and Dordoni._

 **Washington:** How did he manage to get the laser back?

 **Findor:** He's deceptively heavy.

 **Dordoni:** ( _Caption_ ) Well, he already looks fat. So that's saying something.

 **Carolina:** Nirgge, for the last time, put the laser-

 _Nirgge fires at Carolina, prompting her to duck. Nirgge lowers his Suppressor._

 ** **Nirgge** : **( _nervously_ ) Uh, okay. Look _that_ was an accident.

 **Carolina:** I'm going to break your fingers now.

 _Nirgge sprints backward on fear._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Uhh!

 **Nelliel:** Excuse me.

 _Everyone turns to Nelliel._

 ** **Nelliel** :** ( _to Nirgge_ ) Where did you find that rifle?

 ** **Nirgge** : **Hey, I picked it up after Carolina dropped it at the snow base. ( _to Carolina_ ) Are you even familiar with the "international dibs protocol?"

 **Carolina:** ( _to Nelliel_ ) The pirates have been manufacturing these along with the armor enhancements. They got facilities scattered around the planet.

 ** **Nelliel** :** So then your _sure_ it's man made.

 _Nelliel approaches Nirgge. Epsilon appears beside Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, I'm positive. Why?

 ** **Nelliel** : **Well, for starters, it isn't using human technology. It just fired some kind of modified plasma energy. Very deadly. And pretty!

 _Nelliel crouches down._

 **Baraggan:** Plasma?

 ** **Nelliel** : **Alien energy source. I've seen it countless times in archaeological digs.

 **Findor:** Wait, I thought you were a surgeon?

 _Nelliel stands._

 ** **Nelliel** :** I have an IQ of 240. A prodigy can only cut people open so many times before she needs to find a hobby.

 _Epsilon appears before Nelliel._

 **Epsilon:** Jesus. Couldn't try cross stitching?

 ** **Nelliel** : **I sewed them back up, thank you very much.

 **Rey:** Hey, didn't Grimmjow say that he was _paid_ in alien tech?

 **Di-Roy:** I believe he said he was paid in babies.

 **Epsilon:** The fuck?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Don't ask.

 ** **Findor** : **He was definitely carrying around an old plasma rifle. But I thought he said it was broken.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **It's likely it was. The Federal Army arranged a similar deal with Locus. They figured trading useless antiques for military assistance was a good deal.

 **Carolina:** So the mercs stock up on alien technology and hand it over to the pirates for reverse engineering.

 **Washington:** Giving them a new kind of weapon. Half human, half alien.

 **Epsilon:** And every single one of them pointed at us. ...Fantastic.

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** : **Do you have anything else like this?

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **What about the future cubes?

 **Carolina:** The what?

 _Cut to three teleportation grenades set up on a table. The Blood Gulch Crew and Nelliel gather around them._

 **Charlotte:** Future cubes! The cubes of the future!

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **They look kinda like the laser gun, right?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **_That's_ your deductive reasoning? They're related because they're both orange and glowy.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **So.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **So?! If I heated _your_ armor to a thousand degrees, would you think your related too?

 ** **Charlotte** : **Fahrenheit or Celsius?

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **Oh come on, there's clearly a resemblance!

 **Baraggan:** ( _sarcastically_ ) Oh, of course. Just like the uncanny resemblance between apples and fire trucks, or Di-Roy and the Pacific Ocean, or Dordoni and a dingleberry!

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** :** Okay, I get it.

 **Epsilon:** Hey Nirgge, let me ask you a question, you ever get your sister confused with mustard? You know, since they're both yellow and cheap?

 _Nirgge fires at Epsilon, the blasts pass right through his holographic projection._

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, nice try. Still a hologram by the way.

 **Carolina:** Epsilon, he's right.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, I know, I just wanted in on the action!

 **Carolina:** Both types of equipment seem to utilize some form of alien engineering. ( _to Nirgge_ ) But... how did you know how the teleporters look like?

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** 'Cause we had them in the canyon, duh.

 **Epsilon:** Wait, you did?

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** Yeah! They were awesome!

 ** **Baraggan** :** We found them while we were sneaking aboard the ship one night in an attempt to destroy the Blues.

 _Wash, Rey, and Di-Roy turn to Baraggan. He notices._

 ** **Baraggan** :** I mean, the Blues' robot. May he rest in peace.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** :** ( _to Carolina and Epsilon_ ) Which reminds me, how did you guys teleport with those things? We could only figure out how to transport random junk.

 **Dordoni:** ( _Caption_ ) And Doc. You accidentally teleported Doc.

 ** ** ** **Charlotte****** :** Oh my gosh, that's right! We did use them to defeat Dos.0!

 ** **Dordoni** :** Oh, for fuck's sake...

 **Epsilon:** Okay! Everbody, shut up! Listen, if the same people making weapons on Chorus had cargo on our ship, then we might be able to find out who they are.

 **Findor:** How?

 **Carolina:** A manifest?

 **Epsilon:** Yyyyep.

 **Washington:** That's right. A transport ship that size would need to keep track of all its cargo.

 **Carolina:** So if we find the manifest, we find out who supplied the teleportation grenades.

 **Rey:** ( _skeptical_ ) So you think a bunch of evil bad guys, working outside of the law, are gonna worry about paperwork?

 **Epsilon:** Wha- you got any better ideas?

 ** **Rey** :** ( _sighs_ ) No...

 **Carolina:** Then we have our objective: Half of us will travel back to the canyon and search Crash Site Bravo for the manifest.

 **Findor:** Why split up?

 **Carolina:** Because the rest of us will be searching the other half of the ship... at Crash Site Alpha.


	33. Ep 33

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Crash Site Crashers!_

 _Fade in to the algae lake at the New Republic Headquarters. Harribel is seen staring at the lake. Grimmjow approaches her._

 **Harribel:** What do you want?

 **Grimmjow:** Just wanted to see how you were doing.

 ** **Harribel** :** "How am I doing?" How do you _think_ I'm doing?! I put all of our hope into the hands of a bunch of strangers and they run off and get themselves killed!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** It was a leap of faith. Sometimes you fall.

 ** **Harribel** :** Well, we're falling fast. ...I believed in them.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** And they believed in us.

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _angrily_ ) What are you talking about? THEY LEFT US!

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Harribel, they accomplished their mission. They actually managed to rescue their friends, and they were going to come back - I saw it myself. They _wanted_ to end this war. They wanted peace for Chorus.

 ** **Harribel** : **Well, what good does that do us now?

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Plenty.

 _Harribel turns to face Grimmjow._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **If you go back up there, and you tell those men that their heroes died fighting for _them_ , then you can turn this tragedy into something more. Turn it into fuel for one last fire.

 ** **Harribel** : **Grimmjow, they're mourning.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **When they should be fighting! Tia, how many people have we lost at this point? Do you think it'd even count? The only thing different about these soldiers is that they inspired us. And I'm telling you, they can _still_ inspire us even though they're gone. ...I was waiting to tell you, I recovered some data from the compound. The Feds are all gathering in the capital this week, and I mean all of them. Some sort of rally or something, I don't have all the details, but it sounds like they're getting ready for one last push. I guess without the Reds and Blues they think they can finally put an end to us. But I think we need to hit them first.

 ** **Harribel** :** You want to storm Armonia? That's insane.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I want all of us to do it! Think about it: One mission that could end everything. We may never have another chance at this.

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _sadly_ ) I told Rey the same thing...

 ** **Grimmjow** :** You've got an army up there that wants to avenge their heroes! I say it's time you let them.

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** ( _sighs_ ) Okay. Okay-okay, this could work. No, it _will_ work! It has to.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Now there's the leader I know. Never give up, right?

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** Right! ( _walks forward_ ) Transfer that data to my personal computer. Then let's get a meeting together in the war room.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** You got it boss!

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** And Grimmjow... thank you. For everything.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I'm just doing my job.

 _Cut to the Blood Gulch Crew lined up at the forest base. The Blues are lined up on the left and the Reds are lined up on the right._

 **Carolina:** Alright, each team has two teleportation grenades. One to transport you there and want to get you back. First priority is obtaining the manifest, but, while we're in, we should also search for additional supplies. Teleporters, weaponry, _anything_ that could help. ( _to the Reds_ ) I don't expect there to be a hostile presence at Bravo, but becareful nonetheless.

 **Baraggan:** Don't get shot, got it.

 **Carolina:** Alpha's another story. We've acquired its coordinates for teleportation, but never actually investigated the area. From what we've gathered it's a massive hotspot for pirate activity. I'd understand if you don't want to join us.

 **Wash:** Given the situation, I'd say you need all the help you can get. Count us in.

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah, pretty sure Skullak would be disappointed if I didn't come also, sooo...

 **Carolina:** Dr. Odelschwanck, you stay here and keep an eye on things while we're gone.

 **Nelliel:** Wonderful! I'll prepare a meal out of the surrounding fungi and vegetation for your return!

 **Wash:** Please don't.

 **Rey:** See you when we get back?

 **Findor:** Just don't get captured. The last thing we need is another fucking rescue mission!

 **Nirgge:** Amen.

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina_

 **Epsilon:** Okay people, the mission starts now.

 _The teams teleport away. Cut to Carolina at a wasteland._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon?

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Motion tracker says we're clear.

 **Carolina:** Clear?

 **Epsilon:** What, did I stutter?

 **Carolina:** And you're sure we're in the right place?

 **Wash:** ( _off screen_ ) Carolina?!

 _Cut to Blue team starting out into the horizon. Carolina joins them._

 **Wash:** I think we're in the right place.

 _ **CRASH SITE ALPHA**_

 _Pans back to reveal the Blues and Carolina staring at a large, alien-like, laser structure. Cut to Nirgge, Findor and Dordoni in front of Red base at Crash Site Bravo._

 ** **Nirgge** : **I remembered it being bigger.

 _ **JUNGLE CANYON, "CRASH SITE BRAVO"**_

 **Findor:** No way, this place was always cramped. I couldn't walk two feet without stepping in your garbage!

 **Charlotte:** ( _over radio_ ) Oh come on guys, it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it!

 **Dordoni:** As someone who was once a severed head, I can assure you this place was always a pile of shit no matter what size you are.

 **Baraggan:** ( _over radio_ ) Hey knuckleheads, get your asses off memory lane and get back to looking for supplies!

 _Cut to Baraggan and Charlotte inside the crashed ship._

 ** **Baraggan** : **Me and Princess bubblegum have got an entire ship to search! So far we ain't found didley squat! The least you can do is quit jamming up the radio with your darn pillow talk!

 _Cut back to Nirgge and Findor._

 ** **Baraggan** : **( _over radio_ ) You got that?

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **Technically sir, you only have _half_ a ship to search.

 ** **Baraggan** :** ( _over radio_ ) Why you good for nothing, little-

 _Transmission gets cut off._

 ** **Findor** : **Nice.

 ** ** ** **Nirgge****** : **You know Findor, I can't help but notice a severe lack of ass kissing ever since we found Sarge.

 ** **Findor** : **Uh well, we've all been busy with the genocide prevention thing. You know how it goes.

 ** **Dordoni** : **Jesus, you guys really _do_ pillow talk. I'm out of here.

 _Dordoni walks away._

 ** ** ** ** **Nirgge******** : **I don't know man, maybe being in charge of those rebel guys rubbed off on you.

 ** **Charlotte** : **( _over radio_ ) Hey, Charlotte again. I think you accidentally muted Sarge, but I couldn't help but overhear about what you just said about guys rubbing off-

 _Transmission gets cut off._

 ** ** **Findor**** : **What do you mean? We were terrible leaders.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Well yeah. But you gotta admit, they did make you feel pretty important.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Yeah, I guess...

 ** ** ** ** ** **Nirgge********** : **Hey, where's Dordoni?

 ** ** **Findor**** : **I don't know. Probably off doing the actual mission or something?

 ** ** **Dordoni**** :** ( _shouting_ ) Hey guys! I found Dos.0's giant body! _What_ an asshole!

 _Cut back to Crash Site Alpha. The Blues walk across the wasteland._

 **Rey:** This is bullshit! They've got armor enhancements, they've got laser guns and now, they've got giant space dicks shooting loads of energy out of the ground?! The fuck is that about?

 **Carolina:** If you don't keep your voice down, we'll never find out.

 ** **Rey** : **Whatever, Skullak said the place was deserted.

 **Wash:** Still, it gives me the creeps.

 _The Blues turn to see a crashed alien ship._

 **Wash:** And I'm starting to think we might have not been the only ones to crash on this planet.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh, what was your first clue?

 **Di-Roy:** Mine was the spaceship.

 **Carolina:** ( _shouting_ ) Over here!

 _Cut to the Blues inside of the crashed ship._

 **Carolina:** Think this will work?

 **Epsilon:** Well, it's still online, so there's that at least. Infrastructure's a mess though it's... oh damn, hold on a second.

 _Epsilon disappears._

 ** **Rey** : **Seriously? Skullak couldn't find the zoom on the sniper rifle. What makes you think he can plug in and find-

 _Epsilon reappears._

 **Epsilon:** Alright, got it. Sorry Rey, what were you saying?

 ** **Rey** :** Don't be a showoff.

 _A teleportation sound is heard from outside._

 **Wash:** What was that?

 **Epsilon:** Uh oh. Four hostiles just popped up on radar.

 **Carolina:** How close?

 **Epsilon:** Not very. If we keep quiet we should-

 _Another teleportation sound is heard._

 **Epsilon:** Right, fuck that! Okay, give me a drive. Now!

 ** **Rey** : **What's happening?

 **Carolina:** It's in.

 **Epsilon:** Transferring data.

 ** **Rey** : **Dude!

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, uh, how do I say this? Ahem. They know we're here and they're coming to kill us.

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah, one of those days, am I right? Am I right guys? It's one of those days because you know it's, it's pretty much the worst.

 _Cut to outside the ship, where multiple mercenaries are seen arriving at the crash site and approaching the crashed ship. Cut back to inside the ship._

 ** **Rey** : **How'd they find us?

 **Carolina:** I don't know!

 **Wash:** How much time left on that transfer?

 **Epsilon:** Hard to say, this computer is beyond fucked. I'm doing what I can.

 **Carolina:** Don't worry, we can wait.

 ** **Rey** : **We can?

 **Epsilon:** Watch your right!

 _Two mercenaries uncloak and open fire on the group. Carolina kills them both._

 ** **Rey** :** Dude, we gotta go!

 **Epsilon:** Hold them off for a few more seconds!

 _Two more mercenaries run up from behind._

 **Wash:** Behind us!

 _The two mercs activate their hardlight shields. Wash shoots them but his shots are deflected_

 **Di-Roy:** Ah come, come on that's just cheating!

 ** **Rey** : **Skullak!

 **Epsilon:** Hold on!

 _Wash continues shooting at the mercs as they get closer._

 ** **Rey** : **Man, fuck this!

 **Carolina:** Wait!

 _Rey grabs the flash drive._

 **Epsilon:** Rey!

 ** **Rey** : **Get us out of here!

 **Carolina:** ( _frustrated_ ) Ugh, damn it!

 _Carolina pulls out a teleportation grenade and tosses it towards the ground, teleporting them away. Cut back to the forest hideout._

 **Nelliel:** So, how'd it go?

 **Epsilon:** ( _to Rey_ ) YOU FUCKING JACKASS!

 **Carolina:** Skullak.

 ** **Rey** : **( _to Epsilon_ ) Me? We were sitting ducks out there!

 **Wash:** Rey.

 **Epsilon:** Wha- bu- WE ALMOST HAD IT! We only needed a few more seconds!

 ** **Rey** :** You don't know that!

 **Epsilon:** What the f- YES I DO! News flash! I was there and by the way, I'm made out of numbers! Why can't you just trust me?!

 _The Reds suddenly appear at the base, having teleported back._

 **Baraggan:** One manifest, hot and ready to go! ( _chuckles_ ) No need to thank us.

 _The others stare at the Reds._

 ** **Baraggan** : **But don't let that discourage you if you want to.

 **Epsilon:** At least the Reds managed to bring something back. All we got was- Wait! Di-Roy!

 _A cloaked mercenary sneaks up behind Di-Roy._

 **Di-Roy:** Hey! That's me!

 _The merc uncloaks, grabs Di-Roy, and prepares to stab him._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **( _alarmed_ ) OH MY GOD!

 _Carolina uses her Speed Boost and punches the merc. The two then fall to the ground._

 **Carolina:** Uh...

 **Wash:** Where the hell did he come from?

 _Epsilon appears._

 **Epsilon:** He must have teleported back with us.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **My life just flashed before my eyes! It was awesome! Ah, let's do that again!

 **Carolina:** ( _in pain_ ) Uh, my leg!

 _Dr. Odelschwanck runs to Carolina's aid._

 **Nelliel:** Outta the way, doctor coming through!

 **Epsilon:** Damn it!

 _Epsilon disappears. Then pans in on Rey as he watches on._

 ** **Nelliel** : **Oh! Well that is _a lot_ of blood!

 **Wash:** Someone restrain this guy!

 **Charlotte:** I've got just the handcuffs for the job! I've been saving them for a special occasion!


	34. Ep 34

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Accentuate the Interrogative!_

 _Fade in to the forest base. Rey is seen alone. Wash approaches him._

 **Wash:** Well, Carolina's patched up again. Odelschwanck really hounded her on the "no more super speed" thing. You know, I don't think I've ever seen a civilian lecture a Freelancer like that before. It was... pretty entertaining, actually.

 **Rey:** Hey Wash, uh, you got a sec?

 **Wash:** I swear to god, if you want me to look at another rash, I'm gonna hit you.

 ** **Rey** : **No, it's just... it feels like every choice I make is the worst.

 **Wash:** Oh holy shit, you're being serious.

 ** **Rey** : **Back at the canyon, you told me to try to be better, and ever since then, that's all people keep telling me! "Try this," "try that." Well I'm fucking trying, and so far all that happens is that I either get people killed or I ruin the mission! I mean, how are you supposed to know if you're making the right call?

 **Wash:** Well... you don't. There's never really a right or wrong answer. You just have to stick with what you think is best.

 ** **Rey** :** But what if what I think it's best totally sucks?

 **Wash:** Then you learn from it and you try again.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh my god. It's like you people are a fucking loop.

 **Wash:** Rey, I know you're frustrated but you have to realize that making mistakes is just part of the deal. Even with everything you've screwed up, look at how far you made it. You're not the same person you were back at Blood Gulch.

 ** **Rey** :** …Is it bad that I kinda wish I was?

 **Wash:** Yes! You were a terrible excuse for a human being.

 ** **Rey** :** Hey!

 **Wash** : I'm kidding.

 ** **Rey** :** Fuck you, dude! I'm over here spilling my guts and shit, and you're cracking jokes?! That's messed up!

 **Wash** : Now who's melodramatic?

 ** **Rey** :** Man, I should've just left your ass with the Feds.

 _Findor approaches the two._

 **Findor:** Hey Wash, can we borrow you for a second?

 **Wash:** Everything okay?

 ** **Findor** : **Ever since that pirate guy regained consciousness, Carolinas been trying to get info out of him... but so far nothing is working.

 **Wash:** So you need help with the interrogation?

 ** **Findor** : **Actually... We were hoping you could calm down Carolina.

 _A gunshot is heard in the background and noise of broken glass._

 **Carolina:** _(offscreen screaming)_ Why won't he talk?!

 ** **Findor** : **She's a liiittle frustrated.

 _Cut to Red Team and Di-Roy standing in a clearing. Epsilon appears a few meters away but gets a crate thrown through him. He reappears next to Baraggan who was watching_

 **Epsilon:** Well she definitely takes after her mother.

 **Baraggan:** Was her mother some sort of silverback gorilla on steroids?

 **Epsilon:** Yeah you better be happy her mother is not around to hear you say that!

 _Wash, Rey, Nirgge and Findor walk next to them._

 **Wash:** How's it going?

 **Nirgge:** Oh you know.. terrible.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **You still got the manifest?

 **Epsilon:** Yes actually, no thanks to you. The Reds did manage to bring back a completely intact drive with the ship's records and manifest.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Yeah you know, suck it, Blue.

 **Epsilon:** And thanks to the Reds, those documents are currently locked!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Oh... wait, yeah.

 **Wash:** What?

 **Epsilon:** Yes apparently they accessed the ship's records the last time they were on board, but since they didn't have the proper clearance, the files are now in security lockdown.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Aren't you like part of the Matrix now,? Why don't you just hack it?

 **Epsilon:** Oh, why don't I just hack it? Oh while I'm at it, why don't I just download the mainframe and cross reference the data base, huh? Don't talk to me about technical shit. This is hard, okay? It's just making me a little...

 **Charlotte:** Frustrated?

 **Epsilon:** I was gonna say completely filled with rage, but yeah, frustrated.

 _Carolina walks over to the group._

 **Carolina:** Talking about me?

 **Epsilon:** Actually, no.

 **Carolina:** I don't get it. He's not giving up anything

 _Dr. Odelschwanck walks over to the group._

 **Nelliel:** Excuse me, I've been washing your blood of my armor so I'm a little late to the conversation. Did you say the prisoner is awake?

 **Nirgge:** For now, but I've got five bucks that says Carolina rips his spine out within the hour.

 **Findor:** I'll take those odds.

 ** **Nelliel** : **I see. If you don't mind, do you think I could have a few minutes alone with him?

 **Baraggan:** Ha, you gonna give him a band aid for every beating he gets?

 ** **Nelliel** : **Well if you recall, he and his partners turned every one of my friends at outpost 37 into piles of ash. Anyone sick enough to do something like that would almost certainly benefit from a uh...checkup.

 _Baraggan and Carolina look at each other in confusion. Cut to Dr. Odelschwanck and the Pirate inside the base._

 **Pirate:** _(taunting)_ Oo, Whats the matter? Did the big bad freelancer get all tuckered out?

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **Do you know where we are?

 **Pirate:** Huh?

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **This is a remote research facility designed to study the surrounding wildlife. I volunteered at one just like it at grad school. Its got a laboratory, an incinerator and oodles of state of the art surgical equipment. Would you like to see them?

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues standing outside the base whilst listening to the tortured screams of the pirate, various equipment noises and Dr. Odelschwanck's cheerfully singing opera._

 ** **Findor** :** _(nervously)_ Sarge... I'm scared.

 ** **Baraggan** : **Findor, we're all scared. ...except for me.

 _The noises stop and Dr._ _ _Odelschwanck_ emerges from the base._

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** :** _(cheerfully)_ His name's Driscoll Berci, he's ex-military, and he was kind enough to hand over the coordinates to a nearby radio jamming tower.

 **Carolina:** You're kidding.

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** :** No silly, I'm Doctor Odelschwanck! Ha! Dad joke.

 **Carolina:** Alllright, think hes in a position to answer a few more questions?

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** : **Oh absolutely! _(lowers voice)_ Lemme just go put him back together...

 _Dr._ _ _ _Odelschwanck__ runs of screen into the base. Cut to Di-Roy and Rey._

 **Rey:** Di-Roy?

 **Di-Roy:** Yes.

 ** **Rey** : **Don't ever stick your dick in crazy.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **I have no idea what that means.

 ** **Rey** : **I know.

 _Cut to Dr._ _ _ _Odelschwanck__ , Carolina and Wash inside the base with Zachary._

 ** ** ** ** **Nelliel******** : **You'll find his belongings on the crate over there and that his tone is much more positive. _(lowers voice and gets up in_ _Driscoll_ 's _face)_ Isn't that right Driscoll?

 **Driscoll:** For the love of God, get this psychopath away from me!

 ** ** ** ** **Nelliel******** :** He's all yours!

 _Dr._ _ _ _Odelschwanck__ leaves the room._

 **Epsilon:** Hey Carolina, I'm gonna go dark for a little bit, focus on this manifest. You got this?

 **Carolina:** _(laughs)_ Oh yeah. The radio jammers. Talk.

 ** **Driscoll** :** I already told your friend about the nearest one okay?

 **Carolina:** I want to know about all of them.

 ** ** **Driscoll**** :** I don't know all of them! I swear! Look, if you take out the jammer at the coast, you'll at least be able to make contact with the capitol. That helps right? Now will you let me go?

 **Washington:** There seems to be a misunderstanding. Your options are either A, staying here forever or B, the incinerator directly behind you.

 ** ** **Driscoll**** :** H-ha, uh, good point. Well what else do you want?

 **Carolina:** The giant tower at crash site Alpha. What is it doing?

 ** ** **Driscoll**** : **What? The tractor beams? Thats why your ship crashed here in the first place. They're some of the only alien relics we've managed to activate. Ships come by, we pull them down and then kill everyone aboard. After that, the mercs sell the supplies to the armies. Would have worked on you too but something went wrong. It was like the ship tried to jump to slip-space, change course and power down all at the same time. It didn't make any sense. Instead of pulling you down, the ship got ripped apart.

 **Washington:** ...I'm...gonna go ahead and claim partial responsibility for that.

 **Carolina:** How many of you are there on Chorus?

 ** ** **Driscoll**** : **Ha uh, enough to get the job done.

 **Carolina:** Give me numbers or I give you back to the Doctor.

 ** ** **Driscoll**** :** Wow, lets not get hasty. Ah, theres a few dozen of us, alright?

 **Washington:** A few dozen?

 ** ** **Driscoll**** : **Quality over quantity. You freelancers should know something about that. I worked for the mercs on another job along time ago. Guess I did good cause they came back, and they had the offer of a lifetime.

 **Washington:** Wiping out an entire planet?

 ** ** **Driscoll**** :** You call it genocide, I call it one hell of a pay check.

 **Carolina:** And who exactly is paying for all of this.

 ** ** **Driscoll**** : **Beats me. The client sends us supplies and scientists to run the weapons manufacturing, but Locus and Grimmjow are the only ones that talk with them. We'll get the occasional direct order if things are getting dicey but other than that, we're kept in the dark. I can tell you this though, who ever it is, has invested a lot of time and a lot of money into this project. If you think they're just gonna sit back and let you throw it all away, _(laughing)_ then you've got another thing comi-

 _Driscoll is hit by a sniper and incinerates into ash._

 **Carolina:** Damn it!

 _Carolina looks over to see a soldier standing on a large bolder behind them. Washington and Carolina begin to shoot at the soldier, killing him._

 **Washington:** Again?!

 **Carolina:** Epsilon!

 **Epsilon:** I'm here. Uh there's three more closing in on the guys.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Rey, Sarge, more pirates incoming.

 **Baraggan:** _(over radio)_ What? Men, battle stations!

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Get to the lab as soon as you can! We can hold them off from here!

 **Rey:** _(over radio)_ Got it!

 **Epsilon:** We've got more hostiles inbound.

 **Carolina:** What?!

 _The Reds, Blues, and Nelliel charge into the lab shouting indistinctly._

 ** **Rey** : **What the hell's going on?!

 **Epsilon:** We're being surrounded!

 **Carolina:** How do they keep finding us?!

 **Epsilon:** I don't know. What is it, is there an informant? A tracking device?

 _Wash lowers his rifle, and remembers Locus handing him Freckles' storage unit from before. Dissolve to a flashback of Locus handing Washington Freckles' storage unit._

 **Washington:** ( _flashback_ ) Is this supposed to be some sort of apology?

 **Locus:** ( _flashback_ ) Is it?

 _Dissolve back to the present time. Wash turns to Di-Roy._

 **Washington:** Oh no...

 _Wash notices_ _ _Driscoll_ 's two teleportation grenades behind him._

 **Epsilon:** Everyone get ready!

 **Baraggan:** Today is a good day to-

 _A teleportation grenade explodes and the group is teleported to the desert refueling station._

 ** **Baraggan** :** -sit down for a minute and just have a rest, cause' think I'm gonna throw up.

 **Findor:** Ugh, we're back at the gas station?

 **Charlotte:** Good! I think I need a bathroom.

 **Nirgge:** I would not recommend it.

 **Rey:** _(coughing)_ How did we get here?

 **Washington:** It's Freckles. Freckles is the tracking device.

 _Focuses on Di-Roy._


	35. Ep 35

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Out of the Frying Pan!_

 _Fade in to Armonia with a Suspension railway moving along its tracks._

 _ **ARMONIA, CAPITAL CITY OF CHORUS**_

 _Cut to General Patros walking towards an intercom._

 **Patros:** _(clears throat)_

 _Three members of the Federal army are talking to each other when they hear Patros over the intercom._

 ** **Patros** : **Men, may I have your attention please?

 _Cut to Harribel speaking to the rebels over an intercom._

 **Harribel:** Alright everyone, listen up. Today's the day.

 _The scene cuts back and forth between Patros and Harribel, speaking to their respective armies._

 ** **Patros** : **Today is the day we defend this once great city from those who wish to take it for themselves.

 ** **Harribel** : **You all know your roles. Squads will split up and surround the capital, then we sneak in and hit them from all sides.

 ** **Patros** : **Once the enemy has entered the city, the exits will be sealed and any hope of retreat will be dashed.

 ** **Harribel** : **I won't lie to you, today maybe one of the worst days of your life. And for many of us, it's going to be the last. But we can't give up. We've come too far and lost too much to throw this all away.

 ** **Patros** : **The New Republic believes they can end this war today. And they are correct. What they fail to realize is that the Federal Army of Chorus shall be the ones standing victorious after the smoke is clear.

 ** **Harribel** : **So remember the plan-

 ** **Patros** : **-remember your training. And most of all-

 ** **Harribel** : **-remember what your fighting for.

 _Cut to D_ _ondochakka, Tesla, Sung-sun, and Pesche._

 **Dondochakka:** Yeah we're totally dead.

 _Tesla hits him._

 ** **Dondochakka** : **Ow!

 **Tesla:** Not the time.

 _Cut back to Patros, who sighs after the speech._

 **Locus:** _(off screen)_ Well said.

 _Patros turns around to see Locus behind him._

 ** ** **Patros**** : **Oh my _(laughs)_ Locus yes. Oh dear god man you nearly gave me a heart attack.

 **Locus:** Sir, I have some rather urgent news.

 ** ** **Patros**** : **Right. Well, spit it out then.

 **Locus:** I have been informed that the New Republic has dispatched the mercenary to scout ahead for their forces.

 ** ** **Patros**** : **My word, first the news of their invasion and now this? Heh, you are just a wealth of information aren't you?

 **Locus:** I'm leaving to track him down.

 _Locus walks away._

 ** ** **Patros**** :** Oh yes, yes. ...Wait, no, no, NO! Yo-yo-yo-you can't just leave! W-what about the ah- the impending battle? I need you here, by my side to ah- boost the moral of the troops!

 **Locus:** Don't be concerned General. Once I've taken care of this issue, I'll return to take care of you.

 _Locus leaves._

 ** ** **Patros**** :** Oh right. Uh yes, YES! Ah excellent thinking Locus. I can always count on you to get the job done!

 _Cut to the Blood Gulch Crew at the fueling station. Di-Roy presents Freckles' storage unit to Epsilon._

 **Di-Roy:** Give it to me straight Skullak! Is Freckles gonna make it?

 **Epsilon:** Your robot's fine, I just need a few more-

 _Epsilon disappears. Freckles' storage chip begins beeping._

 **Epsilon:** Ah there we go!

 _Epsilon reappears._

 **Epsilon:** Congrats, your pet has been debugged.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **_(sighs out of relief)_ Oh god! _(puts chip away)_ Now all we have to do is get him fixed.

 **Carolina:** I can't believe you would just accept something from the enemy like that!

 **Washington:** It was a lapsed in judgement, it won't happen again.

 _Epsilon appears next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Yeah because next time we'll be dead! Come on Wash, your suppose to be the smart one in the group.

 **Findor:** I thought I was the smart one in the group?

 **Nirgge:** Ehhh. Smart's relative. Like good looks or skills. Sometimes you have to settle.

 **Rey:** Would you guys all shut up! This isn't helping!

 **Epsilon:** Oh yeah righ- since when have you manage to help around here?

 ** **Rey** :** Hey, maybe you haven't noticed, but I've been kinda running this shit while you were gone.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Just out of curiosity, who ran stuff when he was here?

 **Epsilon:** Well you ran straight into the ground Rey great job you must be so proud.

 **Nelliel:** Oookayy. Everyone's a liiittle tense right now.

 ** **Rey** : **Well at least I tried!

 _Epsilon appears in front of Rey._

 **Epsilon:** You!? What about me? You think I'm in a vacation this whole time?

 **Charlotte:** Please! Stop fighting! Can't you see your tearing this family apart?!

 _Everyone stares at Charlotte._

 **Epsilon:** Right. This shits getting weird. I'm out. Hey if you need me I'll be thinking of a way to keep us alive for the next 24 hours.

 _Epsilon disappears._

 ** **Rey** : **Good riddance.

 **Epsion:** ( _voice only_ ) Hey I heard that! I'm still actually in the room dumbass!

 **Carolina:** I'm gonna go check the perimeter.

 _Carolina leaves._

 **Washington:** I'll do the same. Why don't you guys just take a breather.

 _Wash leaves._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Hey! Bye Wash! Bye Carolina! Bye Skullak!

 ** **Rey** : **Di-Roy aren't you even like the tiniest bit pissed off at Skullak?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Ahhhhhhh Nope!

 ** **Rey** : **Not even a little?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Nah.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **At all?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yeah no. Not really.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **How? He's being such an asshole!

 **Findor:** I'm pretty sure Skullak has always been an asshole.

 **Nirgge:** Yeah. Isn't that kind of his thing? Like Findor is smart, I'm good looking, you guys are the dumb one, the lazy one, and the mean one.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **But he doesn't even care about us.

 **Baraggan:** I don't know about that. He stopped that mercenary from cutting up Di-roy. Missed opportunity if you asked me.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Well, he abandoned us.

 **Charlotte:** But didn't you guys do the same thing?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Huh?

 **Nirgge:** Uh the rebels.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Well, yeah. But there were more important things we had to do.

 **Findor:** I kinda feel like stopping the sale of illegal military equipment might have been more important than hanging out in a canyon.

 _Di-Roy walks up to Rey._

 **Di-Roy:** Okay Rey, I'm gonna tell you this only because you respect my opinions so much.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **I actually don't listen to anything you say. Ever.

 **Nirgge:** Classic lazy one.

 **Di-Roy:** If you keep being mean to Skullak, Skullak will just keep being mean to you, and then everyone will be mean to everyone all the time and everything will be bad and no one will have fun.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Is this- are you trying to give a motivational speech right now?

 **Charlotte:** Shh! I want to see where he's going!

 ** **Di-Roy** : **I mean come on! Is this really what you want? You just-you just want to be angry and mean all the time? Because that is dumb! And you know what? You are dumb for thinking that!

 **Nirgge:** Did Di-Roy just call someone dumb?

 **Baraggan:** Well that's calling the kettle blue.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **So Skullak left! And maybe some of us were sad! But you know what, that is okay! Because he was just trying to do something good! And he just made a mistake! And we all make mistakes sometimes.

 **Rey:** Wow! Di-Roy I-

 ** **Di-Roy** : **So shut up and get over it! ...Well, my work is done here.

 _Di-Roy walks away._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **You know, I really do fucking hate him.

 _Cut to Rey watching Carolina scope out the perimeter. He approaches her._

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Hey, Carolina. Can uh,... you think I can talk to Skullak for a second?

 **Carolina:** Oh, um sure. Epsilon? Skullak, get out here. Skullak!

 _Epsilon appears alongside his memories of Delta and Theta._

 **Theta:** ( _whispering_ ) Just say you're sorry.

 _Delta and Theta disappear._

 **Epsilon:** Can't a guy have a little privacy around- ( _notices Rey_ ) oh.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Hey.

 _Epsilon appears beside Rey._

 **Epsilon:** What do you want?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **So. I guess I've been kind of a dick since you got back.

 **Epsilon:** Oh. Well yeah, I mean sure if you want to put it lightly! Heh!

 _Rey stares at Epsilon._

 **Epsilon:** Uhhh. I mean I guess I did...you know leave you guys without saying anything. Which at the time seemed poetic and heroic and all that, but...you know I guess from a practical stand point I probably should have left a note.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Yeah.

 **Epsilon:** I'm just not use to you, actually doing stuff you know, it's weird. Normally guys just stick around and I have to do everything.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Well, you don't have to do everything anymore.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah well, I guess it just takes getting use to.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **You know I ah, I think I saw some beer back at the gas station.

 **Epsilon:** Hologram dude, still a hologram.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Oh right.

 **Epsilon:** But thanks, you can have mine.

 **Carolina:** _(off screen)_ Seriously?

 _Rey and Epsilon look at Carolina._

 **Carolina:** ( _confused_ ) That's it? No "I'm sorry." Nothing?!

 **Epsilon:** Carolina. We're dudes.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Yeah, this is pretty much as emotional as we're going to get.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah you just witnessed like, an entire lifetimes worth of male emotion in one minute.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Huh. What was she expecting?

 **Epsilon:** Beats me. Can you believe that I have to live with her?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Dude that sucks.

 **Epsilon:** Tell me about it.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Oh wait does that mean you get to see her naked?

 **Epsilon:** Okay man don-don't make it weird.

 _Wash walks up next to Carolina._

 **Carolina:** Sooo. Are they good?

 **Washington:** I think they're as good as we're going to get.

 **Carolina:** About time.

 _Cut to Baraggan standing behind the two._

 **Baraggan:** You're telling me.

 _Rey, Epsilon, Carolina, and Wash notice the other Reds and Blues standing nearby._

 **Findor:** Now can we get back to the whole civil war thing please?

 _A harsh screeching sound activates through the group's radios._

 **Charlotte:** Ow! My ears! My sensitive ears!

 **Grimmjow:** ( _over radio_ ) Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking and boy, have I got some news for you.

 **Nirgge:** ( _to Findor_ ) You just had to ask for it.

 **Epsilon:** It's Grimmjow. He's using the radios.

 **Rey:** ( _to Grimmjow_ ) Hey asshole! We're not interested in whatever bullshit your selling!

 ** **Grimmjow** : **( _over radio_ ) Oh, but Rey. In amiraculous, one time only deal, you've all been upgraded to first class on a one way flight off of Chorus. ...Are you interested now?

 **Findor:** I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little interested.


	36. Ep 36

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Multiple Choice!_

 _Fade in to the fueling station._

 **Carolina:** What exactly are you playing at?

 **Grimmjow:** ( _over radio_ ) Ho ho, okay, easy there darling. I know this is all _very_ exciting, so I'm gonna hand the mike over to my partner here to tell you the details.

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) It's time you people understood the futility of your situation. We know where you're hiding. We know you are in possession of a single teleportation grenade. And we know that you hold the coordiantes to a particulary valuable radio jammer.

 _Cut to Locus and Grimmjow standing beside each other at the location of the radio jammer._

 **Locus:** Which is why my partner and I are contacting you from its location.

 _ **RADIO JAMMER STATION 1C**_

 _Cut to a low angle view of the radio jammer, where a Space Pirate is seen aiming his Binary Rifle. Locus walks towards the edge of the structure._

 **Locus:** Make no mistake, you will not be intereferring with today's events.

 **Rey:** ( _over radio_ ) Says you! We're the champs of interferring with shit!

 **Locus:** As we speak, the armies of Chorus are converging at the capital, and the battle that ensues will leave no survivors.

 _Cut back to the Reds and Blues listening to Locus at the fueling station._

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) If your goal was to save these people... you have failed. But you now have the opportunity to save yourselves.

 **Washington:** What do you mean?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _over radio_ ) Once the chumps at the capital are all dead, you guys will be the only loose ends left.

 _Upon hearing this, Dr. Odelschwanck sadly lowers her head._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Now, seeing as you disabled our tracking device, and have the means to teleport anywhere in the world, this poses a somewhat... annoying problem.

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) Which is why Control has offered to make a deal.

 **Carolina:** Control?

 **Locus:** If you choose to teleport back to your canyon, at Crash Site Bravo, you'll find a small ship waiting to take you home.

 _Cut to Locus at the radio jammer station._

 **Locus:** But if you fail to arrive within the hour, we will find you... and we _will_ kill you.

 **Nirgge:** ( _over radio_ ) I'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit on that.

 _Cut back to the Reds and Blues._

 **Findor:** Yeah, why should we believe anything you say?!

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) See for yourselves.

 _A low rumbling sound is heard nearby, catching the Blood Gulch Crew's attention. They run towards the open field of the fueling station towards the sound and spot the ship, which transported Charlotte, Dordoni, and Szayel to Chorus, getting ready for its departure._

 **Dordoni:** Okay. I believe them.

 **Charlotte:** You're right, Dordoni! That is the ship that dropped us off.

 ** **Dordoni** :** STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU UNDERSTAND ME.

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) It's fully functional and on route to the canyon now.

 _The ship flies off._

 **Washington:** So you got a ship. How are we suppose to know you won't shoot us the second we arrive?

 _Cut to Grimmjow and Locus at the radio jammer station._

 **Grimmjow:** Well you can't. But if it makes you feel any better, this wasn't our idea. Trust me, I'm really hoping your dumb enough to turn this offer down.

 **Locus:** Our client is a person of business. They understand if you want no part in this conflict. And they're willing to let you live if you agree never to speak of our involvement here.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** And trust us. They'll know if you do.

 _Cut back to the Reds and Blues._

 **Locus:** ( _over radio_ ) Agent Washington, I've been ordered to offer you and your men a way out. And I never break an order. You have one hour to make your decision.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _over radio_ ) Hope you make the right one.

 _Wash looks at the others. Dissolve to Armonia. A crashing sound is heard. Cut to the recruits._

 _ **ARMONIA, CAPITAL CITY OF CHORUS**_

 **Sung-sun:** Sorry.

 **Pesche:** It's all good. Just severe whiplash.

 **Dondochakka:** So how is it you can fix cars, when you can't even drive them?

 ** **Sung-sun** :** I'm sorry Birstanne, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your perpetual poor attitude.

 ** **Pesche** : **Ohhhh! Fucking got him! Dropping that first name shit!

 ** **Dondochakka** :** God I hope you die before me.

 **Tesla:** Cut the chatter. Entry point seven secure. No hostiles detected over

 **New Republic trooper:** Roger that Tesla, moving up.

 _A group of rebels run by._

 **New Republic trooper:** Come on guys! Lets go!

 ** **Pesche** : **Oh hey! I just realized this is our first mission together.

 ** **Sung-sun** : **Huh?

 ** **Pesche** :** As a super elite team remember?

 ** **Dondochakka** :** Yeah some team we turned out to be.

 ** **Pesche** :** Yeah we're like the Avengers. Okay Tesla can be Captain America, Sung-sun's Black Widow-

 ** **Sung-sun** : **Who are you?

 ** **Pesche** :** Uhhggg. Tony Stark. Obviously.

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** Oh whatever, your totally Hawkeye.

 ** **Pesche** :** Comic book Hawkeye or movie Hawkeye?

 ** ** **Dondochakka**** :** Movie Hawkeye.

 ** ** **Pesche**** :** ( _raises pistol_ ) You fuck yourself!

 **Tesla:** Hey! Pesche's right. The captains choose us for a reason and none of us are going to let them down. Now lets move out.

 _Tesla begins walking. Cut to a group of cloaked space pirates, lead by Lille, watching the recruits from nearby._

 **Lille:** Keep interference to a minimum. Let them kill each other and only target those who try to escape.

 **Female Space pirate:** Heh. This is going to be too easy.

 _Cut to the Blood Gulch Crew at the fueling station._

 **Epsilon:** Alright, the way I see it we got three options; I'm gonna go through these in the order of fucking terrible to goddamned nightmare. Option A: We take our last teleportation grenade and jump to a place on Chorus where we can lay low for a while. The obvious con here is that the armies will probably blow each other to bits. But, Carolina and I have gotten pretty good about fighting these guys on the run. If we're careful, we might be able to gather enough equipment and intel to get off this planet and bring control to justice.

 **Findor:** Just to clarify, that's the best option?

 **Epsilon:** That was fucking terrible.

 **Carolina:** We lose Chorus, but still have a chance to bring down control and walk away from this alive. That gives us two out of three.

 **Nirgge:** What's option B?

 **Epsilon:** If, and let me tell ya I cannot stretch this if hard enough, if Locus and Grimmjow are telling the truth, we go back to the canyon, get on the ship, go home. If anybody asks, we tell them we stole the ride before all the crazy army people showed up and started murdering each other.

 **Baraggan:** Gotta be honest, I'm no the biggest fan of the 'if', and the thousands of deaths aren't great either.

 **Rey:** What about option C?

 **Epsilon:** We teleport to the radio jammer. If we take out their defenses and shut down the machine and if we're not too late, the we can broadcast a message to the capital.

 **Charlotte:** Oh, well that one doesn't sound too bad.

 **Epsilon:** Weelll, here's the thing. I've been running Carolina's healing unit whenever I can, but her leg is still garbage. Combine that with the fact that these guys have freelancer equipment advance weaponry-

 **Carolina:** We get it. Some of us won't make it back.

 **Epsilon:** Ehhhg Most of us won't make it back.

 ** **Rey** :** But we could save everyone at the capital.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah If, if, if, we make it back in time. Then you just need to find a way to convince two armies that a bunch of dead people are actually alive and telling the truth.

 **Washington:** There's a forth option. Carolina and I go on the run with Epsilon and do our best to bring down control. And the rest of you take the ship and go home.

 **Epsilon:** That's actually not a bad Idea.

 **Carolina:** The three of us would be able to move around the planet easier without the extra baggage. No offence.

 **Nirgge:** No baggage is right. We're comfortable with who we are.

 **Charlotte:** But we can't just leave.

 **Nelliel:** Yes you can. This isn't your responsibility You all held up your end of the bargain. You helped us fight. You saved your friends. So now all that's left is for you to go home.

 _The crew sadly look at Nelliel and ponder over what they should do. Fade to Armonia, where Harribel and her forces scout the city in warthogs._

 _ **DOWNTOWN ARMONIA**_

 **Harribel:** Something's not right. Squad leaders in the downtown areas report in.

 **Tesla:** Still no enemies in sight ma'am.

 **New Republic Trooper:** Yeah we got nothin' over here.

 **New Republic Trooper:** Ma'am You don't think Grimmjow had bad intel do you?

 ** **Harribel** :** Anything's possible. Just stay alert. He should've been back by now.

 _A loud sound is heard._

 **New Republic Trooper:** What was that?

 **New Republic Trooper:** Shit! The city's roadblocks just locked up!

 ** **Harribel** :** What?!

 **New Republic Trooper:** Same thing just happened in our sector.

 **Federal Army Trooper:** Freeze!

 _Suddenly, all of the rebels, including the recruits, become surrounded by Feds._

 **New Republic Trooper:** Uh oh.

 **New Republic Trooper:** Uh oh.

 **New Republic Trooper:** Uh oh.

 **Tesla:** Uh oh.

 ** **Harribel** :** Don't say it.

 **Pesche:** It's a trap!

 ** **Harribel** :** Get us out of here!

 _Harribel and her men flee, but are intercepted by Feds. Patros then appears from atop a platform._

 **Patros:** Well well well. Tia Harribel, leader of the New Republic. Welcome to the capital.


	37. Ep 37

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Fed vs. New!_

 _Open in on the radio jammer station, where Grimmjow and Locus are waiting for the Reds and Blues' call._

 _ **RADIO JAMMER 1C**_

 **Grimmjow** : Time's almost up.

 **Locus** : ( _speaks on his radio_ ) Bravo, report.

 **Bravo** : ( _over radio_ ) No visual on the targets. I... don't think they're coming, sir.

 **Locus** : ( _to Bravo_ ) Hmm... stay on guard.

 **Grimmjow** : Guess they didn't trust us.

 _Grimmjow glances at the mercenaries around them. He spots one from afar walking away into the shadows._

 **Grimmjow** : Locus... how many men did you bring with you?

 **Locus** : Four. The rest were needed at the capital.

 **Grimmjow** : You don't say...

 _Cut to a disguised Carolina walking away._

 **Carolina** : ( _speaks on her radio_ ) Four pirates carrying prototypes. The mercs are sticking to their usual. I'm heading away from the jamming tower now...

 **Washington** : ( _over radio_ ) Did they see you?

 **Grimmjow** : ( _offscreen_ ) Excuse me!

 _Carolina turns to see Grimmjow standing on a platform above her, aiming his rifle at her._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _tauntingly_ ) You look familiar. Have we met?

 _He fires at Carolina, disrupting her camouflage and restoring her cyan armor color._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _laughing_ ) Ohhhh man! You are fast! Oh, but minus points on originality.

 _Carolina fires at him, but he activates his Hardlight Shield, deflecting the bullets. More pirates decloak around him._

 **Grimmjow** : See what I mean?

 **Carolina** : All right. You have me.

 **Grimmjow** : So... where's the rest of the crew?

 **Carolina** : They're not here. I came alone.

 **Grimmjow** : Well, that _is_ classic you from what I've heard. But seeing as how they weren't at the gas station or the ship we so generously provided, I'm not sure I believe you.

 **Carolina** : Well, I guess that's your problem.

 **Grimmjow** : Actually, if you don't tell your friends to come out and surrender, you're going to have a problem the size of a golf ball in the middle of your forehead.

 _Grimmjow aims his rifle at Carolina only for Washington to appear behind him, weapon aimed at his head._

 **Washington** : Funny... I was just about to tell you the same thing.

 **Grimmjow** : Oh hey, Wash. Heads up, you're going to feel like an asshole in three... two... and...

 _Locus decloaks behind Washington, his gun pointed at him._

 **Locus** : You continue to both surprise and disappoint me, Agent Washington.

 **Grimmjow** : ( _to Washington_ ) Yeah, yeah. There it is.

 _Cut to Armonia and the standoff between the New Republic and the Federal Army of Chorus._

 **Patros** : Never in all my life have I met a human being as selfish and bloodthirsty as you, Miss Harribel!

 **Harribel** : How dare you!

 **Patros** : Marching into the capital thinking you could kick us while we're down. Have you no decency?

 **Harribel** : We tried to be decent in the past, but we all know how that turned out, don't we?

 **Patros** : ( _laughs_ ) Oh my dear girl, I can assure you I haven't the slightest idea what you mean.

 **Harribel** : Of course no! You're still too busy trying to uphold a government that doesn't even exist anymore.

 **Patros** : Because you killed everyone who stood for it!

 **Harribel** : It was a broken, fucking bureaucracy that nearly killed the planet!

 **Patros** : And you are a ruthless lot of anarchists who killed the only outsiders brave enough to try and save it!

 **Harribel** : I would- ( _confused_ ) Wait, what did you say?

 _Cut to the space pirates overlooking the confrontation._

 **Space Pirate** : This might be a problem ( _they cloak_ )

 _Cut back to the Radio Jammer, where Washington and Carolina are now surrounded by the Space Pirates._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _yelling into the wilderness_ ) All right, guys! Come out and I promise to kill you quick! Waste my time, and you get to watch the Freelancers die over the course of... ah... well until whenever I get bored!

 _Grimmjow waits for a bit but nothing happens._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _to pirates_ ) Hmm... spread out and find them. They might be hiding in one of the caves...

 _The sound of gunfire is heard offscreen._

 **Rey** : ( _offscreen_ ) Di-Roy!

 **Di-Roy** : ( _offscreen_ ) I didn't do it!

 **Grimmjow** : ...or maybe they'll just telegraph their position because they're idiots.

 **Locus** : ( _to pirates_ ) Shoot on sight.

 _Cut back to Armonia._

 **Patros** : ( _to Harribel_ ) Tell me, when you murdered the Reds and Blues, was it because you couldn't stand the thought of them siding with us, or were they mere caught up ( _raises voice angrily_ ) in the decimation of our outpost?!

 **Harribel** : What are you talking about? We didn't decimate anything!

 _Cut back to the Radio Jammer. Two pirates are at the entrance to a cave._

 **Female Pirate** : ( _whispers_ ) It came from in here.

 **Male Pirate** : ( _whispers_ ) Right. Move in on three...

 _Cut back to Armonia._

 **Harribel** : You killed the Reds and Blues after they rescued their friends!

 **Patros** : We did no such thing!

 _Cut back to the cave._

 **Male Pirate** : ...two...

 _Cut to Grimmjow at the Radio Jammer._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _to Wash and Carolina_ ) You know, I just gotta ask. What did you think seven morons, a couple of Freelancers, and an AI would actually be able to do here?

 _Cut to the cave._

 **Male Pirate** : ...One! ( _they cloak_ )

 _Cut to Armonia._

 **Harribel** : But... Grimmjow said-

 _One of Harribel's men are killed by a cloaked pirate. Cut back to the cave. The two pirates enter only to see an assault rifle lying on a crate._

 **Male Pirate** : What the...?

 **Washington** : ( _offscreen_ ) Well, not much.

 _Cut back to Wash at the Radio Jammer._

 **Washington** : ( _to Grimmjow)_ But you forgot to count the genius, and the dog.

 **Locus** : The dog...?

 _Cut back to the cave. The assault rifle's flashlight lights up. It's Freckles in a new body._

 **Freckles** : Heat signatures detected.

 **Female Pirate** : D-did that gun just fucking talk?

 **Freckles** : Firing main cannon.

 _Freckles fires, killing the Male Pirate and alerting the other pirates._

 **Grimmjow** : What-?!

 **Carolina** : ( _to the hidden Reds and Blues_ ) Now!

 _Cut to the capital. Patros ducks._

 **Patros** : Attack!

 **Harribel** : Open fire!

 _Cut to the New Republic recruits in the corridor surrounded by enemy soldiers._

 **Sung-sun** : Duck!

 _They duck, and the Federal Army soldiers on either side of them kill each other in a crossfire. Cut back to the main road. The two armies open fire on each other. Harribel and her soldiers run for cover._

 **Harribel** : Move!

 _Cut back to the Radio Jammer. Grimmjow and the other pirates open fire. Carolina and Wash dive away from the gunfire. Locus jumps off the platform and engages in a fistfight with Carolina. Wash dodges a stream of bullets from Grimmjow and returns fire, disarming Grimmjow's gun from his hands. Cut to the Female Pirate running out of the cave._

 **Female Pirate** : Man down! Man-uggh! (Rey _slams her in the head with his rifle, knocking her out_ )

 **Rey** : Hi-ya! Haha, bitch!

 _Cut to the interior of the cave. Di-Roy comes out of hiding._

 **Di-Roy** : Yes! Good one, Freckles.

 **Freckles** : Thank you, Captain Di-Roy.

 **Rey** : Alright guys! Two down, two to go!

 _Cut to the Radio Jammer. Baraggan, Nirgge, and Findor are hiding behind a rock formation._

 **Baraggan** : ( _to Rey_ ) Roger that!

 _Baraggan runs out from cover._

 **Baraggan** : ( _to pirates_ ) Come and get us, boys! ( _he dives for cover as they open fire_ ) Whoa! ( _to Nirgge and Findor_ ) Now might be a good time to run.

 _Cut back to the tower. Locus and Carolina brawl, but Locus manages to lift her up and slam her into the ground. Before he can stomp his foot down on her, Wash fires a burst at him, distracting him long enough for Carolina to kick him off the platform. He bounces off some pipes and lands on the ground. Carolina jumps after him. Wash turns around and fires at Grimmjow, who uses his shield to deflect the bullets and charges at him. Wash sidesteps and Grimmjow runs past him. Wash pulls out his pistol and fires at Grimmjow, who pulls out his knife. They exchange blows, but Grimmjow manages to pin a grenade onto Wash's pistol._

 **Washington** : Oh come on!

 _Grimmjow laughs and mockingly salutes him. Wash tosses the grenade-pistol at Carolina and Locus._

 **Washington** : Fire in the hole!

 _Carolina notices the armed device and kicks it at Locus, who dives away before it explodes._

 **Washington** : Sorry!

 _Grimmjow activates his Hardlight Shield and knocks Wash off the platform. Cut to the capital, where the recruits are pinned down by a pair of chaingun-wielding Federal Army soldiers._

 **Tesla** : Take out those gunmen!

 _Dondochakka jumps out and fires, though he misses. The soldiers pause._

 **Pesche** : Missed!

 _The soldiers open fire again._

 **Pesche** : ( _to_ _Dondochakka_ ) Missed!

 **Dondochakka** : Pesche! ( _he opens fire and kills the cloaked soldier about to kill Pesche_ )

 **Pesche** : Okay, nice shot.

 _Cut back to the Radio Jammer. A pirate is searching for the Reds when Findor pops out._

 **Findor** : Hey, suck it black! ( _he runs back into cover_ )

 **Pirate** : What?

 _Findor runs back out._

 **Findor** : Just to clarify, that wasn't a race thing! ( _he runs back into cover_ )

 **Pirate** : Come back here!

 _The Pirate follows Findor only to find the Reds and Dr. Odelschwanck waiting for him._

 **Baraggan** : Get him!

 _Baraggan jumps on the soldier, who is barely affected. Nirgge then jumps on both of them, knocking the pirate down. Findor follows shortly after. Nelliel stands back and shouts encouragements._

 **Nelliel** : Aim for the jugular!

 _A punching sound is heard offscreen._

 **Nirgge** : ( _offscreen)_ Ow!

 **Nelliel** : The JUGULAR!

 _There is more scuffling._

 **Nirgge** : _(offscreen)_ Ow!

 _Nelliel stamps her foot angrily._

 **Nelliel** : ( _annoyed_ ) Punch him in the goddamn throat!

 _There is another punching sound and then the pirate is heard gasping for breath._

 **Nirgge** : ( _offscreen_ ) Well why didn't you just say so?!

 _Baraggan is heard chuckling. Cut to the final pirate patrolling the perimeter._

 **Pirate** : Does anyone copy? Got damn it, what the hell is happening up there?!

 _Charlotte and Dordoni appear from behind a rock._

 **Charlotte** : Stick 'em up!

 _The pirate fires at him. Charlotte dives aside and the shot instead knocks Dordoni's head off._

 **Dordoni** : ( _translated)_ Fuck!

 **Charlotte** : Dordoni! Noooooo!

 **Dordoni** : _(translated)_ You've got to be fucking kidding me! ( _he manages to make his leg move_ ) Oh... wait a minute.

 _The pirate walks up and aims his gun at Charlotte, only for Dordoni's headless body to stand up and punch him in the face, knocking him out. Dordoni then picks up his head and puts it back on._

 **Dordoni** : ( _translated)_ Well... that worked out better than expected.

 _Cut back to the Freelancers and the mercenaries. Carolina grabs Locus' SAW and opens fire. Wash and Locus dive aside to avoid the spray._

 **Locus** : Grimmjow!

 _Grimmjow puts up his shield, deflecting the bullets. Carolina charges him. The pair brawl, but Locus jumps in and knocks her to the ground, leaving Wash to face the pair. Grimmjow bashes him with his shield, disorienting him. The pair tag-team Wash, punching him and kicking him until he is almost knocked off the tower and into the abyss._

 **Washington** : Woah... ( _he glances below him_ )

 **Grimmjow** : Haha, that was awesome.

 **Locus** : Stay focused.

 **Grimmjow** : Right, where's the other one?

 _Carolina jumps in at that moment and punches Locus, but like Wash, she is overwhelmed by the pair and literally launched by Locus onto a platform, where she lies stunned. Meanwhile, Wash manages to pull himself back up._

 **Washington** : ( _to himself)_ If it's not a car, it's a cliff.

 **Locus** : ( _to Grimmjow)_ Take care of the simulation troopers. I have this under control.

 **Grimmjow** : Right. _(he runs off)_

 _Wash notices a battle rifle lying near him. A SAW lies near Locus. Both are just out of reach for either of them. The pair glare at each other._

 **Locus** : Do _not_ disappoint me again.

 _The pair both dive for the weapons. Wash grabs his and opens fire. Cut back to Armonia. A soldier next to Patros is taken out by Harribel._

 **Patros** : Oh dear. ( _he runs away while under fire from Harribel)_ I'm a leader, not a fighter!

 _Harribel is forced to duck when a soldier next to her is killed._

 **Harribel** : Damn it! _(to the soldiers next to her)_ Get ready to cover me! This ends today!

 _Cut back to a sandy area around the Radio Jammer. Grimmjow is stalking the area._

 **Grimmjow** : Come on guys! Let's not draw this out any longer than we have to!

 **Rey** : ( _offscreen_ ) Sounds good to me!

 _Rey is standing on a rock above Grimmjow. He draws his Energy Sword._

 **Grimmjow** : _(laughs)_ Ho ho... you are not! Seriously? Y-you're going to go with the sword?! Oh no, okay, oh no, alright!

 **Rey** : What's wrong? You scared?

 **Grimmjow** : Oh this is going to be fun.

 _Cut to Wash, hiding from Locus._

 **Washington** : _(to himself)_ Last mag, Wash. Make it count.

 _He runs out of cover, but Locus is nowhere to be seen._

 **Locus** : ( _offscreen_ ) Why do you continue to help these people, Agent Washington?

 **Washington** : _(softly)_ Where are you? ( _he walks forward slowly_ )

 **Locus** : ( _offscreen_ ) You have _nothing_ to gain from them. No reason to fight for them. And yet, here you stand with your life on the line for them.

 **Washington** : Is that so hard to understand?

 _Locus decloaks and fires at Washington, who dives for cover. He runs back out, but Locus has cloaked again._

 **Locus** : _(offscreen)_ You used to be so much more.

 _Cut back to the beach, where Rey and Grimmjow are circling each other._

 **Grimmjow** : For God's sake, man, loosen up! You got to get limber!

 **Rey** : How did you convince Harribel to go to the capital?

 **Grimmjow** : Tia? Oh, ( _snorts_ ) she was easy! I just made up some story about how you all died heroically. You should have seen it man. I gave the performance of a fucking lifetime! Got all broken up, threw in a few dramatic pauses, and they just ate it up.

 **Rey** : So how long have you and Locus been working together?

 **Grimmjow** : I'm sorry, I thought we were going to be fighting here? ( _He drops into a ready stance_ )

 _Rey charges him, but Grimmjow kicks him in the back, sending him sprawling._

 **Rey** : Agh! Son of a bitch!

 _Grimmjow drops into a mocking praying bow._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _in a fake Japanese accent_ ) Round One: Grimmjow.

 **Rey** : God, you're a fucking tool.

 _Cut to Wash, who is slowly walking through the area, glancing around him._

 **Locus** : _(offscreen)_ You were once an enemy to these men. You were ruthless! You were a survivor!

 **Washington** : I was a different person.

 **Locus** : ( _offscreen)_ No, you were a soldier.

 _Wash notices the air shimmer and watches it suspiciously._

 **Washington** : You say that like they're two different things.

 **Locus** : _(offsceen)_ When a true soldier is told to kill, he kills. He does not question why, he does not mourn the fallen; he fulfills his role and moves on to the next.

 **Washington** : Is that what you want to be? A true soldier?

 _Locus is revealed to be cloaked and standing on a catwalk above Wash, his gun aimed at him. He decloaks._

 **Locus** : No, that is what I am!

 _Locus fires, but Wash avoids it. He aims back at Locus, but he's disappeared again._

 **Washington** : Damn it!

 _Cut back to the beach. Rey is hit again by Grimmjow._

 **Rey** : Ow, you dick!

 **Grimmjow** : God, I really just want to savor this. You know, once the Feds and rebels kill each other, I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, we've been playing these guys for _years_. How do you just walk away from something like that?

 **Rey** : What happened to retirement?

 **Grimmjow** : Oh yeah, well I'll be filthy stinking rich, but I'm still in my prime! There's so much more I can do.

 **Rey** : Keep talking, asshole.

 **Grimmjow** : Well, the thing about that is, ah...oh ( _chuckles_ ) You'd like that, wouldn't you? You know I just realized, I haven't seen your pals in a while. I wonder if they're trying to ( _pulls out a sticky detonator and turns around_ ) get the jump on me?!

 _The Reds and Di-Roy are revealed to be standing on a platform behind Grimmjow._

 **Findor** : Ahh! He knows!

 _Grimmjow fires the grenade. It sticks to the platform._

 **Baraggan** : Uh-oh.

 _The grenade explodes, throwing the Reds and Di-Roy back._

 **Rey** : NO!

 _He charges forward, but GRimmjow turns around and stabs him in the stomach._

 **Grimmjow** : That's the last time you try to outsmart me, Captain Rey _._

 _GRimmjow shoves Rey off the knife and onto the ground; his knife is seen covered with blood. Cut back to Locus and Washington._

 **Locus** : ( _offscreen)_ I'm a professional, Agent Washington. I complete my-

 **Washington** : Yeah, yeah, yeah, you complete your missions at all cost. You can say that as many times as you want, but I know what you really are. You're a coward.

 **Locus** : ( _offscreen)_ Ridiculous.

 **Washington** : You keep trying to play yourself off as some sort of weapon. That you don't care about anyone or anything. But the fact that you're trying so hard to understand me breaks your entire act! No matter how hard you may want to be, you're not a machine, you're a murderer. But you hide behind the idea in your head, because you're too afraid to take responsibility for what you've done.

 _The air shimmers behind him._

 **Washington** : I know, I used to be a real piece of shit. But at least I'm trying to do something about it.

 _Locus decloaks and tackles Washington. Cut to the capital, where Harribel is hunting Patros. She finds him in the command center, alone. They aim their guns at each other._

 **Patros** : Stop right there!

 **Harribel** : ( _angrily_ ) You... ( _she advances on him)_

 **Patros** : ( _scared andretreating backwards)_ D-don't make me use this!

 _Cut back to the beach. Grimmjow picks up his pistol, and Rey holds himself up, clutching his side._

 **Grimmjow** : You still don't get it, do you? The entire reason you sim-troopers were allowed to live this long, ( _chuckles_ ) is because you're all losers! Control was confident that you'd do more damage to these people than they could ever do to themselves. I mean, a bunch of idiots in charge of an army? Come on, it was a recipe for disaster! Locus and I figured we'd let you rack up the casualty count then kill you after a few weeks. Oh, but then you did something special! You gave these people hope! And with that came a new level of motivation. To fight harder, to die faster! All with the belief that their sacrifice might actually mean something. But you know what? It all means nothing! At the end of the day, if I'm stronger than you and if I'm faster than you, then I can kill you! And that's better than anything money can buy! ( _he aims the pistol at Rey_ )

 **Rey** : ( _coughs_ ) I don't know man, I think I'd rather be rich than a fucking nutjob. What do you think Skullak?

 _Epsilon appears next to Rey._

 **Epsilon** : Yeah, this guy's got no idea what he's talking about.

 **Grimmjow** : ( _surprised_ ) What the...what the fuck is this?

 **Rey** : Oh this is Skullak. He's the AI that helps me run my equipment.

 **Grimmjow** : What equipment?

 **Rey** : ( _tauntingly_ ) My helmet cam.

 _Cut to a first-person view of Rey's HUD. A line of text shows: **EPSILON UNIT CAPTURING FOOTAGE**_

 **Epsilon** : Oh-ho! Someone just got fucking busted.

 **Carolina** : ( _offscreen_ ) All right boys!

 _Then pans up to show the others aiming their weapons at the jamming tower._

 **Carolina** : Bring it down!

 _The Reds and Blues open fire at the radio jammer, shutting it down._

 **Epsilon** : _(to Rey)_ Be right back!

 _Epsilon disappears and transmits the helmet-cam footage to Armonia. At the capital, everyone stops fighting as the footage of Grimmjow's monologue plays over every visual and audio device. Patros and Harribel lower their weapons and stare at the image of Grimmjow._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _recording_ ) _Once the Feds and rebels kill each other, I don't know what I'm going to do! I mean, we've been playing these guys for years!_

 **Rey** : ( _recording_ ) _How did you convince Harribel to go to the capital?_

 _ **Grimmjow** : (recording) Tia? Oh (snort) she was easy! I just made up some story about how you all died heroically! You should have seen it man, I gave the performance of a fucking lifetime! Got all broken up, threw in a few dramatic pauses, and they just ate it up._

 **Harribel** : You son of a bitch!

 **Grimmjow** : ( _recording) The entire reason you sim-troopers were allowed to live this long is because you're all losers! Locus and I figured we'd let you rack up the casualty count then kill you after a few weeks._

 **Patros** : Locus?

 _Grimmjow's recording continues to play as the two armies realize how they've been tricked. The space pirates watch from their perch._

 **Space Pirate** : This is bad... ( _they all cloak_ )

 _Cut to Locus, who is standing over the stunned Washington._

 **Space Pirate** : ( _over radio)_ Locus, everyone at the capital knows! What do we do?

 _Locus stares at Washington._

 **Locus** : ( _hesitantly)_...Follow... protocol...

 _Cut back to the beach._

 **Rey** : _(to Grimmjow)_ Oh, dude, were you speechless? 'Cause that's a first!

 **Grimmjow** : ( _angrily_ ) You...you're dead!

 _Grimmjow aims his pistol, but the targeting lasers of Carolina's binary rifle appear on his head._

 **Carolina** : ( _offscreen_ ) I wouldn't, if I were you!

 **Baraggan** : Ugh...you know those sticky grenades kick like a mule! But I hear these newfangled laser blasters are quite lethal!

 _The Reds and Blues aim their weapons at Grimmjow. Grimmjow puts up his shield. Locus decloaks and covers his back, facing Rey._

 **Locus** : The mission is a failure. Protocol states we are to report to Control immediately.

 **Grimmjow** : They're injured! We can kill them, now!

 **Locus** : No! We follow orders. ( _he turns to the others, holding a teleportation grenade_ ) Let me assure you all: This is not over! ( _he tosses the teleportation grenade towards the ground and the pair vanish_ )

 _The screen flashes white and dissolves back into the scene. Then pans out as Rey collapses from his wound, while Dr. Odelschwanck and the others rush to his side. We hear the frantic orders for a cease fire from Harribel and Patros._

 **Harribel** : _(over radio)_ This is Tia Harribel of the New Republic, ordering an immediate ceasefire!

 **Patros** : ( _over radio_ ) All soldiers of the Federal Army, stand down at once!

 **Harribel** : ( _over radio_ ) Rey? Nirgge? Can anyone read me? What are your coordinates? Where are you?


	38. Ep 38

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _You Know Who We Are!_

 _Cut to Pesche and the other New Republic recruits standing in front of a group of New Republic soldiers. Pesche is describing the rescue of the Reds and Blues._

 **Pesche** : Pheewww...! The Pelican goes in for a landing, but the radio jammer's shooting up all sorts of electricity and stuff. It was like ( _mimics lightning_ ) ka-pew, pew-pew-pew-pew!

 **New Republic Soldiers** : Oooooooo!

 **Pesche** : We're on the ground. Captain Rey's bleeding out. The Reds and Blues are all bashed up. Things ( _zooms in on his face_ ) don't look good!

 **New Republic Soldiers** : Awwwwwwww!

 **Pesche** : We led them all aboard the ship and take off as fast as we can and that's when he spoke to me. "Pesche, come closer. Come closer." It was my captain. I leaned in. "Don't speak Rey, you need your strength." But he brushed my hand aside, looked at me straight in the eyes, and said to me, "Pesche, you did good kid. You did good."

 **Rey:** ( _offscreen_ ) Oh that's bullshit!

 _Cut to Rey, looking up at Pesche. Di-Roy, Findor, and Nirgge are seen standing next to him._

 ** **Rey** :** What I actually told you was to stop crying and to shut the fuck up.

 ** **Pesche** :** Okay yeah but the sentiment was still there.

 ** **Rey** :** I fucking hate you Pesche.

 **Dondochakka:** You know, if we hadn't shown up with that ship you'd probably be dead like for real this time.

 **Nirgge:** Hey, we're a bunch of mavericks okay? We weren't even planning on making out alive. That was just an added bonus for being so fucking awesome.

 **Sung-sun:** You went on a suicide mission for us?

 **Findor:** Well uh you know we figured we owed you one.

 ** **Sung-sun** : **That's so selfless. And hey, your voice didn't crack.

 ** **Findor** : **( _nervously_ ) It didn't? I mean, I don't know what your talking about.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Alright, don't get carried away. You guys just happened to be the first people we ever met who though we were cool. We saved you strictly for selfish reasons. And with the hope there'd be more pampering upon our return.

 _Nakeem appears from nearby._

 **Nakeem:** I'm here whenever you need me sir!

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **He seriously survived the fight? I mean really? The universe just had to spare Nakeem.

 **Tesla:** Well I think I speak for all of us when I say thank you.

 **Di-Roy:** And I think that I speak for all of us when I say when this feels like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Isn't that right Freckles.

 **Freckles:** Affirmative.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **No.

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Absolutely not.

 ** ** **Rey**** : **Way too cheesy.

 ** **Tesla** : **Thank you captain. I'll remember this till the day I die. Or my name isn't Tesla Lindocruz.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** : **Oh god, is it?

 _Pan up to Harribel and Patros, overlooking the compound._

 **Harribel:** So what do you think?

 **Patros:** I think it's an absolute mess.

 ** **Harribel** :** Well your army didn't exactly leave us with many options over the years.

 ** **Patros** :** Yes. Well I suppose we can't expect you to continue operating out of a hole in the ground. I'll talk with one of my new advisers and see if we can have your people set up at another one of our outposts.

 ** **Harribel** :** I was actually thinking about moving to the capital.

 ** **Patros** : **_(sputters)_ Well that's preposterous.

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **Excuse me? My men deserve a roof over their heads, just like yours.

 _Cut to Washington, Baraggan, Charlotte, and Dordoni._

 **Washington:** Hey. You both agreed to a temporary truce, so why don't you start with a little cooperation.

 ** **Patros** : **Very well... I will see what we can do. Agent Washington, you have my thanks.

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **And mine. If it wasn't for you all, we'd all be gone.

 **Washington:** Well... thanks, but you should really thank Rey. The whole plan was actually his idea.

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **Is that so.

 **Baraggan:** Kind of a shocker, huh?

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **No, not really.

 ** ** **Patros**** : **If there's anything we can ever do for you, please don't hesitate to ask.

 **Charlotte:** Oh gosh, I don't think that's really necess-

 ** **Baraggan** :** What's a rank higher than captain?

 ** ** ** **Patros****** :** Um, Colonel?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Promote me to Colonel!

 ** ** ** ** **Patros******** :** Oh! _(stutters)_ very well then. I- In honor of your service, I hereby promote you to Colonel...eh..Sarge.

 _Baraggan yells at Nirgge from atop the platform._

 ** **Baraggan** :** You hear that numbnuts?! I outrank you, again! Hah!

 _Cut to Carolina near the algae lake. Epsilon appears next her._

 **Epsilon:** So did ya miss me?

 **Carolina:** Actually I found the peace of mind to be rather nice for a change.

 **Epsilon:** Oh yeah I bet it went along great with that ass kicking.

 **Carolina:** That was part of the plan.

 **Epsilon:** Oh really? Because I thought the plan was to distract Locus, not let him mop the floor with you.

 **Carolina:** Look, they were better than I expected, okay.

 **Epsilon:** Wimp.

 **Carolina:** I'm still surprised you went along with the plan.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah well, I figured it was time to have faith in them too.

 _Epsilon flashes green._

 **Epsilon:** Oh hey, hold on.

 **Carolina:** Everything okay?

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, I said hold on. Uh huh, great, thanks D.

 **Carolina:** What was that?

 **Epsilon:** That was the end of a very long and very annoying decryption process.

 **Carolina:** You've got the manifest?

 **Epsilon:** Fuck yeah I got the manifest. I am processing it right now.

 _Epsilon recedes temporarily and returns within the second._

 **Epsilon:** Well, not the most dramatic revelation, but I believe we have our culprit.

 **Carolina:** Who is it?

 _Epsilon displays a "Charon Industries" logo._

 **Epsilon:** Charon Industries. Big umbrella company that got a hand in every major market you can think of. Even messed with cryogenics a few years back, but it looks like their largest profit comes from weapons and technology; they own most of the stuff on the ship.

 **Carolina:** Sounds familiar.

 **Epsilon:** Yeah, Project Freelancer stole some assets from them once or twice, and managed to destroy quite a bit of private property in the process.

 **Carolina:** You mean the Resistance? I thought they were a UNSC splinter group?

 **Epsilon:** The soldiers were all UNSC. But according to my records, they've been hired on to act as Charon's private security force.

 **Carolina:** Is that legal?

 **Epsilon:** Tch. I doubt it. Looks like Charon and the military started getting really buddy buddy around the time that-oh.

 **Carolina:** Epsilon?

 **Epsilon:** Where's Dr. Odelschwanck?

 **Carolina:** Huh?

 **Epsilon:** The lunatic, what's she doing?

 **Carolina:** She's, treating the space pirates we captured.

 **Epsilon:** Perfect. Tell her I want them to give me all known radio frequencies used by the mercenaries.

 **Carolina:** Why?

 **Epsilon:** I need to make a call.

 _Cut to the interior of a mercenary compound, where Control speaks to Locus and Grimmjow._

 _ **MERCENARY COMM. FACILITY**_

 **Control:** ( _voice only_ ) I am at a loss, gentlemen. Years of arduous labor and delicate manipulation all made worthless by your inability to stop a single squad of what can hardly be considered soldiers.

 **Grimmjow:** They got lucky.

 **Locus:** They were underestimated. And it will not happen again.

 **Control:** ( _voice only_ ) Our operation now lies in extreme jeopardy. Word of our involvement can never find its way back to earth or the UNSC.

 **Locus:** Then what are our orders?

 **Control:** ( _voice only_ ) Go to war.

 _Di-Roy is suddenly heard over the channel._

 **Di-Roy:** ( _voice only_ ) Hello? Yes. Hello?

 **Control:** ( _voice only_ ) What is this?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **( _voice only_ ) Extra sauce please!

 **Locus:** An outside transmission.

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** : **( _voice only_ ) Hello?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** How'd they get this channel?

 _Control's screen displays a newspaper article reading: "Colorful Space Marines Stop Corruption." Epsilon begins to speak over the channel._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) "Colorful Space Marines Stop Corruption."

 _The screen then cuts to the Blood Gulch Crew, alongside Patros and Harribel._

 **Epsilon:** You know, I really love the picture they used for this thing but I gotta say I liked description even more. Pictured above, the Red and Blue troopers of Project Freelancer receive a full pardon from UNSC Oversight Chairman and Charon Industries CEO,Sōsuke Aizen. I can't imagine you liked that second bit very much though, probably not very good for business. Am I right, Chairman?

 _ **STAFF OF CHARON, COMM. ROOM.**_

 _Cut to the interior of the Staff of Charon, where the Chairman is seen. He was a mid age me with brown eyes and brown hair, but his hair was on the the back and side of his head. The top of his head is bald._

 **Chairman:** On the contrary, you'd be surprised as to what can come of a merger between politics and corporations. If your here to negotiate a surrender, I'm afraid I must inform you that your ship has set sailed. Quite literally in fact.

 _Cut back to the Reds and Blues._

 **Washington:** Actually, we were just hoping to read you a letter

 **Baraggan:** Its just a little something we put together for ya. Considerin' we'll probably be seein' a lot of each other over the next few weeks.

 **Rey:** Take it away Skullak.

 **Epsilon:** Dear Chairman; It has come to our attention that you have declared war on the planet Chorus. We regret to inform you that this is a really shitty idea. Not only have you managed to annoy the people that you failed to kill, time and time again, you've also found a way to piss off an entire planet. Now they may not have the best equipment and they might not be the best fighters, but as your aware, they've been fighting for a very long time. And now that they're not fighting each other, they're more than happy to dedicate all of their time to fighting you. So dear Chairman, to you and your idiotic mercenaries, we would like to say: bring it on, motherfuckers! We're not going anywhere. From your friends, the incredibly badass and sexually attractive, Red and Blue soldiers of Project Freelancer. P.S.; suck our balls.

 _Cut back to the interior of the Staff of Charon, where the Chairman is seen._

 **Chairman:** F.I.L.S.S.?

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** ( _voice only_ ) Yes Chairman?

 **Chairman:** Please clear my schedule for the rest of the day.

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** ( _voice only_ ) Yes Chairman.

 **Chairman:** And F.I.L.S.S., Could you verify that Locus' delivery was sent to the trophy room?

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** ( _voice only_ ) The crate from the shipwreck was unloaded and delivered this morning, sir.

 **Chairman:** Wonderful. I could use a bit of good news today.

 _Cut to a holographic display of the Meta's helmet._

 **Well, everyone that the end of Season 12. Main Villain has finally been show and it none other then the Chairman that you'll all been hear about past stories, but now see who play his part. Anyway please like and review and Season 13 will be start up soon.**


	39. Ep 39

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Prologue!_

 _Open in deep space. A lone Pelican is seen. A large ship, the UNSC Tartarus, emerges into frame. Cut to the interior of the ship._

 **Ganryu:** There she is. ( _over the radio_ ) Unidentified Pelican dropship, this is Captain Ganryu of the _UNSC Tartarus_ responding to your distress signal. Come in, over.

 _Cut to the interior of the Tartarus. A video of Chairman Sōsuke Aizen is playing on a soldier's computer._

 _ **PRESENT DAY...**_

 ** **Ganryu** :** Unidentified Pelican, please respond.

 _Pelican readout on computer terminal screen: 57% DAMAGE TO EXTERNAL THRUSTER._

 **Pilot:** Eh. Comms are acting kind of funny. Maybe they can't hear us?

 **Riyan:** ( _watching an interview on KOX NEWS with Sōsuke Aizen_.)Or maybe they fell asleep at the wheel.

 ** **Ganryu** :** Pelican, can you just give us a sign that you're reading us?

 _The Pelican's lights flash once_.

 **Pilot:** Oh hey, she lives!

 ** **Ganryu** :** Pelican, are you able to make your way to our starboard docking bay? We'll be able to assist you from there.

 _The Pelican's lights flash once._

 **Pilot:** Well. There you go.

 ** **Ganryu** :** Riyan, meet up with Jai and Mue in docking. Let's see what this is all about.

 ** **Riyan** :** Wait, how the hell you know that meant yes? What if two flashes means "yes," and one flash means "stay away, alien zombies"?

 _Outside the Tartarus_ , _the Pelican's thrusters can be seen turning on before the Pelican moves toward the docking bay_.

 ** **Ganryu** :** You were saying?

 ** **Riyan** :** ( _sighs_ ) Fine. The signal sucks out here anyway.

 _Moves in toward the computer screen with Aizen and the caption "WE ARE STILL AT WAR."_

 **Aizen:** …and we should all prepare ourselves for whatever may come next.

 _Cut to Riyan on the upper level deck of the prisoner holding room, in front of a control panel. Various prisoners are shouting and heckling_.

 **Prisoner 1:** Hey Riyan, why we stoppin'?

 **Prisoner 2:** Lemmee guess, you're letting us go?

 _Prisoners laugh_.

 ** ** **Riyan**** :** ( _Striding past the cells_.) Quiet down. Just picking up what I hope are hitchhiking cheerleaders.

 **Prisoner 3:** In your dreams, asshole!

 _Cut to Riyan entering Starboard Docking Bay, as seen through a security camera_.

 **Jai:** Come on, Riyan, hurry up.

 **Mue:** It's just…weird, seeing a military bird out here on her own like this, y'know?

 ** ** **Riyan**** :** Oooh, maybe it's some top secret covert ops. Some hush-hush "you never saw us" type of shit.

 ** **Mue** :** Yeah, and if we're lucky they'll kill you to keep this quiet.

 ** **Jai** : **Hey, we got a deadline to meet, all right? Ready up!

 _They turn to face the Pelican_.

 ** **Jai** :** Pelican crew! You may now open your bay door and slowly exit the vehicle!

 _Pelican door opens and hatch descends. A silhouetted figure steps into view_.

 ** **Jai** :** Hands in the air!

 **Grimmjow:** ( _Hands up_.) Yes, sir.

 ** ** **Mue**** :** It's…just one guy?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _Chuckles_ ) Won't find anyone else on this ship.

 ** **Jai** :** Come on out. Take it slow.

 _Grimmjow descends down the ramp_.

 ** ** ** **Riyan****** :** You all right?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Yeah. I'm just glad ya found me.

 ** ** ** **Riyan****** :** ( _Leaning toward Mue_ ) This guy don't sit right with me.

 _Cut to the_ Tartarus' _control deck. Crewmates are laughing_.

 ** ** ** **Riyan****** :** ( _Leaning on Grimmjow's shoulder, smacking the armor plate_.) This guy is my fuckin' hero!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Oh come on, you tell me every single one of you wouldn't have done the same thing. I mean, come on, am I right?

 ** ** **Ganryu**** :** That is a helluva story, son, but it's time we got you fixed up and went on our way. Lord knows we've wasted enough of the UNSC's time.

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** Well hey, are you hourly? ( _Crewmates laugh again_.)

 ** ** ** ** **Riyan******** :** Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** : **Seriously though, this ship looks like a fucking antique. Higher ups couldn't spare the extra cash to fix her up?

 ** ** ** ** **Riyan******** :** Ha. Yeah, right.

 ** ** **Ganryu**** :** Military prison transport isn't very high on their budgetary priorities. No use wasting money on cryo for lawbreakers. So they threw together a skeleton crew to make sure the cargo just makes it over alive.

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** : **Yeesh. Kinda scary.

 ** ** ** **Ganryu****** :** Nothing these men can't handle.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan********** :** Yeah, we've got guns and the purge if things get bad, but the real killer out here is fuckin' boredom.

 ** ** ** **Grimmjow****** :** What about all the disappearances all over the news? Ships not making it to port? I mean, what do you do if you're attacked?

 **Mue:** Yeah, I doubt anybody's coming for our cargo.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan********** :** It ain't scavengers. I think it's them fuckin' aliens, man.

 ** **Mue** :** Not this again.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan************ :** Oh sure, they say we're at peace, but you know them squid-heads will put a laser through our heads faster'n greased lightning if we gave 'em the chance!

 **Soldier with Visor:** Hey, that's intolerant!

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan************ : **You're intolerant!

 ** ** ** ** **Ganryu******** :** Quiet. ( _Crewmates settle down_ ) Truth be told, no one gives a rat's ass about the people on this ship. Anybody out there really wanted them, they could have them.

 _Crewmates chuckle_.

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** All right. I'll take them.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan************** :** What—uh. What'cha mean?

 ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow******** :** I mean, I'm going to kill you and take your prisoners.

 _The soldiers in the room share tense, uncomfortable looks_.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan************** :** Huh?

 _Ganryu hesitates, before unholstering his pistol and drawing it at Grimmjow. Grimmjow kicks it out of his hand, sending the gun flying into Riyan's head. Grimmjow punches Ganryu in the face several times before heel-kicking Riyan in the groin, then snaps his arm into the base of Ganryu's neck, knocking him to the floor. Mue grabs Grimmjow's arm and spins him around just as Grimmjow kicks Riyan in the head_.

 **Mue:** Come 'ere!

 _Mue swings a punch at Grimmjow in succession, both of which Grimmjow catches, before twisting Mue's arms and headbutting him. Grimmjow descends into a ground-level kick, sweeping Mue out from under his feet and careening into a soldier_.

 **Mue:** Shit! Sorry!

 _Mue staggers around in a circle to face Grimmjow, only to have his punch deflected, his body spun around, and his arm broken with a loud crunch. Soldier with Visor accidentally punches Mue, sending Mue sprawling to the floor_.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan**************** :** ( _Scrabbling for gun_ ) Come on! Come on! ( _Shoots the soldier in the head_ )

 _Grimmjow whirls around_.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan**************** :** Oh.

 _Grimmjow rams into his legs, flipping Riyan on his back. Grimmjow proceeds to unsheathe his knife and throw it at the pilot, embedding it in his face_.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** Bullseye.

 _Ganryu drags himself toward the command console and slams his hand into the security alarm. The ship goes dark as red lights and sirens start to blare and flash_.

 **Jai:** ( _In the docking bay)_ Huh-? ( _A cloaked figure behind him snaps his neck. Locus materializes into view, along with eight Space Pirates)_

 **Locus:** No survivors.

 _Scene transitions to control room. Generic Soldiers run into room_.

 **Generic Soldier 1:** Captain Ganryu!

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** ( _Standing behind Ganryu's body, propping him up like a puppet)_ At ease, gentlemen. ( _Pushes body aside and shoots the soldiers_ )

 _Riyan starts to reaches for the rifle of the dead soldier_.

 ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow********** :** Calm down, Riyan. I'm not gonna kill you.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan****************** :** You—Y-You're not?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************ :** No. ( _Twirls gun in his hand_.) He is.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Riyan****************** :** ( _Looks up to see Locus standing over him, his shotgun held at point-blank range_.) Oh, son of a bitch-

 _Gun goes off. Cut to Locus and G walking side-by-side on a catwalk in the prisoner holding room, as Space Pirates are eliminating the remaining guards_.

 **Space Pirate 1:** Sector 1, clear.

 **Space Pirate 2:** Sector 2, clear.

 **Space Pirate 3:** Sector 3, clear.

 _Prisoners yell from their cells._

 **Locus:** ( _Grabs the intercom_ ) Quiet.

 _Prisoners stop talking_.

 **Locus:** As of this moment, we are the new crew of this ship.

 **Prisoner:** Well who the hell are you?

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************ : **( _to Locus_ ) Why don't you let the people-person handle this, okay? ( _Takes the intercom from Locus_ ) Listen up. We're looking for soldiers who aren't afraid of killing lots of people for lots of money. We don't care who you are, and we don't care what you've done, because quite frankly we've probably done a helluva lot worse. All we want are men who can follow orders and hold their own on the battlefield. We're going to war, folks. Now, our enemies are weak, but there's a lot of them, and they've got a couple of badass Freelancers agents on their side. But if you survive you'll be rich enough to live out the rest of your lives as free men. ( _Prisoners murmur amongst themselves_ ) Now, if this totally awesome idea doesn't sound like your kind of job, we'll let you off the ship. But if you're willing to fight for your freedom, then please firmly grasp the bars of your cell in a sign of solidarity.

 _Several prisoners grab the cell bars_.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************ :** Well. All right then.

 _Grimmjow flips up the lid over a red button labeled "PURGE" and slams it. Airlock doors in the prisoners' cells open, sucking those that didn't grab the bars, as well as those who did, but were not strong enough to hold on, into the vacuum of space. Prisoners started to yell and scream in panic while Locus and Grimmjow remain unaffected due to their gravity boots. Grimmjow presses the button again, shutting the doors_.

 **Prisoner:** Oh my god!

 **Locus:** ( _Over the intercom)_ Congratulations; you're hired.

 _Cut to Grimmjow and Locus reentering the control room_.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************ :** Before you say anything, yes, I know they triggered the alarm, and yes, I did have more fun because of it, thank you for asking.

 **Locus:** These prisoners lack our men's discipline.

 **Felix:** Control wants to even the numbers. You got a better idea?

 _Control room door slides open._

 **Space Pirate:** Locus. Grimmjow. We've got a prisoner who doesn't really look up to par. Smartass put two and two together and tied his bedsheets around his waist before the purge.

 **Felix:** Quick thinking.

 **Space Pirate:** He asked to speak with you. Says he has something you need.

 **Locus:** Bring him in.

 _The space pirate escorts the prisoner into the room_. He was a dark-skin man with yellow eyes.

 **Counselor:** Gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Zommari Rureaux.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************** :** Okay. Well, Zommari, here's the deal: we're looking for soldiers, not whatever the hell you're supposed to be.

 **Locus:** You say you have something we want?

 **Counselor:** No. I have something you need. The Freelancers you mentioned—am I correct in assuming they're Agents Carolina and Washington?

 **Locus:** How would you know that?

 **Counselor:** I know everything there is to know about my agents. As the… _former_ counselor of Project Freelancer, I helped mold them. Psychiatric analyses. Medical histories. They're all housed ( _taps the side of his head)_ right here. And I can give them to you.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************** :** ( _Chuckles)_ Hate to cut your lifeline short, Counselor, but we've already got access to all of Freelancers' confiscated records—

 **Counselor:** If you're referring to the documents recovered by the UNSC, you should know that is merely the tip of the iceberg.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow************** :** ( _Levels his gun at the Counselor)_ I think you're bluffing.

 **Counselor:** Did you know Agent Washington refuses Artificial Intelligence access to his neural implants? Or that Agent Carolina's 57% more likely to neglect her teammates when presented with a competitive scenario? No? Then I also doubt you realize there is another inmate aboard this ship that shares a history with the Freelancers. One who would undoubtedly prove useful to you if he were _properly_ guided.

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Grimmjow**************** :** ( _Pulls his gun away_ ) Quick thinker and quick talker! ( _Puts an arm around the Counselor's shoulder_.) We're gonna get along great!

 **Locus:** This second inmate—take us to him.

 **Counselor:** Of course.

 _Pans to monitor screen with_ _ _Sōsuke Aizen_ concluding his interview_.

 **Aizen:** Now, now, that's enough questions for today.

 _Cut to the prison cell being opened by Locus, Grimmjow, and the Counselor. The prisoner stands._

 ** **Aizen** : **( _voice over_ ) Remember. All good things must come to an end.

 _Zooms in on the prisoner's face, revealing a prosthetic eye, tattoos similar to Edrad Sharkface's armor, and scarring along his face from burns and red hair on half of his head. Scene abruptly cuts to Di-Roy and Nirgge at an unknown base._

 **Nirgge:** Di-Roy!

 **Di-Roy:** Gah! What?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Have you seen-wait a minute, what the hell are you doing?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Uhh. You ever get the feeling something really, really bad is going to happen?

 ** **Nirgge** :** Only every single fucking time I have to talk to you.

 _Nirgge leaves._

 **Well, everyone this is Season 13. We get the return of the Counselor reveal his full name and the return of an old foe too. Please like and review if your excited for more.**


	40. Ep 40

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Capital Assets!_

 _Fade in to Armonia. A train is seen passing by._

 _ **ARMONIA, CAPITAL CITY OF CHORUS, DOWNTOWN**_

 _Cut to Nirgge shuffling past a rebel and a fed._

 **Rebel** : Good morning, Captain Nirgge.

 **Nirgge** : Hey.

 **Fed** : Good morning, Captain Nirgge!

 **Nirgge** : Yeah.

 **Nakeem** : Oh. Oh! Captain Nirgge!

 _Nirgge stops in front of Nakeem_

 **Nirgge** : ( _sighs_ ) Yes, Nakeem?

 **Nakeem** : Hey! Uh, uh, I just wanted to say, uh, thanks again for everything you and the other Reds and Blues did for us. If you guys hadn't shut down that radio jammer, we'd be dead!

 **Nirgge** : ( _sarcastically_ ) Gosh Nakeem, I really appreciate that! Almost as much as I did the other **fifty-six** times you thanked me!

 **Nakeem** : Oh, good. I was worried it would might start to come off as annoying.

 **Nirgge** : It does, that was sarcasm.

 **Nakeem** : Just gonna repress that!

 **Nirgge** : What?

 **Nakeem** : Oh, Captain Nirgge! Uh, good to see you. I wanted to thank you for-

 **Nirgge** : ( _grunts_ ) Look, do you know where Harribel is? I need to talk to her.

 **Nakeem** : Harribel? Uh, I'm pretty sure I saw her in the armory a little while ago.

 **Nirgge** : Great, thanks.

 _Nirgge leaves._

 **Nakeem** : ...Do you need an escort?

 **Nirgge** : ( _offscreen_ ) NO!

 _Cut to the armory, where Findor is seen giving a line of Feds and Rebels weapons. Dordoni is seen inside the armory garage._

 **Findor** : Alright, explain to me again, why do you need a .50 caliber chaingun?

 **Gunman Fed** : ...Because I'm a gunman.

 **Findor** : Yeah, yeah, I know, I get that. You keep saying that. I mean, why do you need it right now?

 **Rebel 1** : Hey G man, hurry up!

 **Gunman Fed** : Well, I mean, how else are people gonna know what I do around here?

 **Findor** : You're a soldier. Everyone's a soldier! You shoot at people, who shoot at you, until one of you dies from all the shooting!

 **Gunman Fed** : Yeah, but that's what I'm sayin'. Without my big gun, I just look like all the regular soldiers.

 **Findor** : No you don't! You've got white armor and red stripes!

 _Charlotte suddenly pops up next to Findor._

 **Charlotte** : Ugh, and they're just awful. I'm thinking we go bold. Maybe red armor with white stripes!

 **Gunman Fed** : Huh?

 **Findor** : ( _sighs_ ) Charlotte, just because you're in charge of uniforms, doesn't mean you get to redecorate the entire army. Besides, that'll completely ruin his camouflage.

 **Charlotte** : What camouflage?

 _Cut to the line of soldiers._

 **Findor** : Huh. Good point. How the hell have you not been shot yet?

 **Gunman Fed** : What?

 **Fed Soldier** : It's because the New Republic can't aim for shit.

 **Rebel Soldier** : Wanna say that to my face, punk?

 **Findor** : Hey, cut it out! The armory is no place for violence. Now calm down, or I'm not gonna to give you a gun.

 **Rebel Soldier** : ( _offscreen_ ) He started it.

 **Fed Soldier** : ( _groans_ )

 _Cut to Nirgge striding up to Findor and Charlotte._

 **Nirgge** : Outta my way. Captain on deck. Official officer business.

 _Nirgge stops in front of Findor._

 **Findor** : Nirgge, what do you want? Can't you see we're busy?

 **Nirgge** : Where's Harribel?

 **Findor** : I don't know. Where were you during training this morning?

 **Nirgge** : Where do you guys train again?

 **Findor** : ( _exasperatedly_ ) In the training room.

 **Nirgge** : Oh, right, yeah. Literally anywhere but there.

 **Charlotte** : Well I think I heard Miss Harribel was inspecting the troops over there a little while ago.

 **Nirgge** : Aw man. Really?

 **Dordoni** : ( _translated_ ) Hey!

 _Nirgge, Findor, and Charlotte turn towards Dordoni._

 **Dordoni** : ( _translated_ ) While you're there, tell Sung-sun to stop driving cars that she fixes! She drives like a teenager and a grandmother who were somehow combined, and were also blind.

 **Nirgge** : Dordoni? I don't speak Spanish. I have never spoken Spanish.

 **Findor** : Yeah, get with the times and just assimilate.

 **Dordoni** : ( _translated_ ) Cool. I'm cutting the brakes on your next Warthog.

 **Nirgge** : See ya', dickheads.

 _Gunman Fed, Findor, and Charlotte temporarily turn towards Nirgge as he walks away. Gunman Fed then turns back to Findor and Charlotte._

 **Gunman Fed** : Do you really think my stripes are awful?

 _Cut to the training room, where the lieutenants are firing at cones. Three cones are knocked down, while the final shot misses the last cone._

 **Washington** : Lieutenant Pesche!

 **Pesche** : Yes, Agent Washington, sir.

 **Washington** : Explain to me how, in light of your recent promotion, you somehow managed to be worst at target practice.

 **Pesche** : ( _hurriedly_ ) Uh, because the newly-added pressure of my rank makes me second-guess my actions more frequently in hopes I won't let down my fellow peers.

 **Washington** : Well I don't- Oh. Um, I mean, that's understandable, Lieutenant.

 **Pesche** : Also, I've been trying to make a smiley face for like, 9 minutes.

 _Cut to a crudely made "smiley face" made out of bullet holes._

 **Pesche** : Nailed it.

 _Cut to Nirgge walking in._

 **Nirgge** : Wash!

 **Washington** : ( _sighs_ ) Now what.

 **Nirgge** : Where's Harribel?

 **Washington** : ( _sarcastic_ ) Oh! Captain Nirgge. How nice of you to join us. We missed you at practice this morning.

 **Nirgge** : ( _chuckles_ ) Yeah. That's probably because I wasn't there.

 **Washington** : So you weren't. Which is why everyone is going to give me three laps around the training facility.

 _All four lieutenants turn to him._

 **Pesche** : ( _together_ ) Aww!

 **Sung-sun** : ( _together_ ) What the-?!

 **Dondochakka** : ( _together_ ) That's not fair!

 **Tesla** : ( _together_ ) Yes sir!

 **Washington** : Get moving.

 _Nirgge turns to Washington._

 **Nirgge** : ( _shocked_ ) You're punishing _them_?

 **Washington** : Remedial training. Disciplining a group for the actions of a single soldier leads to social pressures that typically result in the easy correction of an undesirable behavior. Classic military strategy.

 _Cut to the four lieutenants running._

 **Dondochakka** : ( _angrily_ ) Thanks a lot, fuckface!

 **Washington** : So. Are you ready to begin today's training?

 **Nirgge** : Uhh.. No?

 **Washington** : All right then. Let's make it four laps!

 **Tesla** : Yes sir!

 _The other three lieutenants groan in protest._

 **Sung-sun** : I'm gonna have an asthma attack!

 **Washington** : How're you feeling now?

 **Nirgge** : I feel like this military's fucking weird.

 **Washington** : FIVE LAPS!

 **Tesla** : Yes sir!

 _The other three groan again._

 **Nirgge** : Man! This is the best punishment ever!

 **Washington** : What do you need Harribel for, anyways? She's in the middle of a meeting with Patros.

 **Nirgge** : So, she's in the war room?

 **Washington** : I- Wait wait wait wait wait. No. You're not going anywhere until-

 **Nirgge** : ( _as he walks off_ ) Sorry dude, gotta go, uh, just punish the rebels some more. I'm sure I'll learn my lesson.

 **Washington** : ( _sighs_ ) Goddamn it.

 _The four lieutenants return._

 **Tesla:** Whew. We sure showed him.

 _Dondochakka and Sung-sun wheeze. Pesche collapses to the ground as Washington turns towards them. Cut to the war room, where Harribel and Patros are seen._

 **Harribel** : I don't care if your men prefer it, the fact to the matter is we are going to run out of ammunition faster.

 **Patros** : But you're not taking the statistical advantage into account! Yes, the standard issue Assault Rifle has a fire rate of fifteen rounds per second, but if those rounds aren't being fired at the enemy, then that means we have fifteen chances to kill the enemy, every time we pull the trigger!

 **Harribel** : Without our mercenaries bringing in supplies, we need to make every bullet count.

 **Patros** : Are you doubting my soldiers' skill in the battlefield?

 **Harribel** : I am doubting _so_ much more than that.

 **Patros** : ( _sighs_ )Ms. Harribel, it has been over a month since we began this truce, and there has _yet_ to be a _single_ day where you have not tested its strength.

 **Harribel** : Well, that's probably because I don't like you!

 **Nirgge** : Hey!

 _Cuts to Nirgge._

 **Nirgge** : We've got a problem!

 **Patros** : ( _bitterly)_ Is it tan with a blue visor?

 **Nirgge** : Now, I'm what most people consider a hero, like a firefighter, or the guy who invented the microwave, or, uh, the Oreo dude.

 **Harribel** : ... Okay?

 **Nirgge** : So what I want to know, is why a hero, like myself, is not allowed to have second helpings in the mess hall!

 **Patros** : Umm...because we're low on food.

 **Harribel** : Oh, so you have the common sense to ration our meals, but not our ammo?

 **Patros** : That is hardly relev-

 **Harribel** : ( _interrupting, agitated_ ) Hardly relevant?!

 **Nirgge** : Hey!

 _The two leaders turn to him._

 **Nirgge** : I know you guys are having a hard time playing nice, but there are bigger things at stake right now.

 **Harribel** : Get out.

 **Nirgge** : Like steak, for instance.

 **Harribel** : Get. Out.

 **Nirgge** : We need bigger ones.

 **Harribel** : ( _annoyed_ ) Nirgge! Leave! Now.

 **Nirgge** : ( _awkwardly_ ) ... So, are we just going to put a pin in this, or-

 **Harribel** : Oh my god, will someone just put him on dish duty for the rest of the day?

 **Nirgge** : _What_?

 **Rebel Soldier** : Come on, sir. Let's go.

 _Nirgge is escorted away by the Rebel soldier._

 **Nirgge** : ( _offscreen_ ) This is some bullshit!

 **Harribel** : Can we just talk about something else for a minute?

 **Patros** : Well, the reason I originally came to speak with you was to inform you of the status our men's most recent assault.

 **Harribel** : ( _turning to Patros_ ) Wait, they radio'ed in? What happened?

 **Patros** : Well...

 _Cut to Charon Research Complex 2C, where Baraggan and Rey are shown singing along to Another One Bites the Dust in front of three captured space pirates. Rey is shown dancing._

 _ **CHARON RESEARCH COMPLEX 2C**_

 **Baraggan** : ( _singing_ ) What?

 **Rey** : ( _singing_ ) Another one bites the dust! Oh yeah! Another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust! Ugh! Yeah! Ooh! We. Kicked. Your. Ass. Bitch! _(end with giving the mercs two middle fingers.)_

 **Baraggan** : Get down with your bad self!

 **Carolina** : ( _amused_ ) Alright, that's enough. We just took their base. No need for cruel and unusual punishments.

 _Baraggan and Rey approach Carolina._

 **Baraggan** : Are you sure? I could drop some sick beats on them. Y'know, bust some rhymes, make it old-school.

 _He chuckles at the thought._

 **Skullak** : ( _suddenly materializing_ ) Oh for god's sakes. Please don't.

 **Baraggan** : ( _grunts_ ) Square.

 **Carolina** : Come on. Let's get this place sorted out. Intel says they were keeping some Freelancer equipment here.

 **Skullak** : Right. Sarge, why don't you go check on the Feds. Rey, are you down to handle the Rebels?

 **Rey** : Yeah, yeah.

 _The two head off._

 **Skullak** : In all the years we spent in the canyon, when the hell did he learn to dance?

 **Carolina** : ( _turning behind her_ ) I've got bigger questions on my mind right now.

 **Skullak** : ( _turns around as well_ ) Yeah? Like what?

 _Cut to a mysterious figure in the distance._

 **Carolina** : Like what else was Charon studying out here?


	41. Ep 41

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _What's Yours is Ours!_

 _Fade in to Charon Research Complex 2C. A Fed approaches Carolina and Epsilon staring at the alien tower._

 **Fed Soldier 1** : Agent Carolina, we've retrieved what appears to be a domed energy shield from within the complex.

 **Carolina** : The bubble shield? Are you sure?

 **Fed Soldier 1** : Uhh...

 _Cut to two Fed soldiers._

 **Fed Soldier 2** : What's it do?

 _The other fed flicks the handle and activates the shield, knocking the soldier back. A scream is heard offscreen, followed by a clatter. Cut back to outside the complex._

 **Fed Soldier 1** : Yeah, we're pretty sure.

 **Carolina** : That's great. We can hook it up and start running some tests in a few hours.

 **Skullak** : _(turning to Carolina)_ Hey, whoawhoawhoa, slow down. What about the giant floating tower in the sky? Did you forget about that crazy bullshit?

 **Fed Soldier 1** : What, the temple?

 _Carolina and Skullak turn to him._

 **Fed Soldier 1** : _(skeptical)_ That the aliens made?

 **Skullak** : I'm sorry. What?

 **Carolina** : You're familiar with that structure?

 **Fed Soldier 1** : I- I mean I think most of us are, yeah.

 **Skullak** : Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there. You're telling me that people on this planet are just used to seeing flying space shit like that?

 **Fed Soldier 1** : Pretty much.

 _He turns to another Fed soldier walking by._

 **Fed Soldier 1** : _(shouts)_ Hey Rin! You 'ever seen one of those alien towers before?

 **Rin** : _(shouts)_ Oh yeah! My dad took me to one when I was a kid!

 **Fed Soldier 1** : They're nice, right?

 **Rin** : Oh yeah! They had funnel cake outside, too!

 **Fed Soldier 1** : Oh, I remember that!

 **Rin** : _(chuckles as he walks off)_ Yeah. Good times.

 **Fed Soldier 1** : _(turns back to Carolina and Skulak)_ So yeah, I mean, pretty common.

 **Skullak** : How is this not a bigger deal?

 **Fed Soldier 1** : Well, come on, man. I mean, they've been around forever and they don't really do anything-

 **Skullak** : _(agitated)_ IT'S A GIANT FLYING TOWER!

 **Fed Soldier 1** : And you're a dead guy that's also somehow an AI, okay? That shit's weird too, but you don't hear me going on about it.

 **Carolina** : Enough. Just secure the Freelancer equipment. Epsilon and I will be by in a few minutes.

 **Fed Soldier 1** : _(sighs as he walks back inside)_ Yes ma'am.

 _Cut to the two facing the mysterious alien temple._

 **Skullak** : But I don't care what these guys say, those towers aren't some fucking tourist trap. They're important. Remember the tractor beams? At Crash Site Alpha? Charon is studying these things and making them do shit. That's bad.

 **Carolina** : I get it. So, who would you say is our resident expert on alien technology?

 _Cut to Doctor Nelliel tu Odelschwanck squealing._

 **Nelliel** : Conducting research in the field! Oh, I knew today was gonna be a good day!

 **Carolina & ****Skullak** : _(reluctantly)_ Hello, Doctor Odelschwanck.

 **Nelliel** : Oh, I can't tell you how nice it is to get out of the office and away from all the complaining! "My leg hurts!" "I need blood!" "But I don't want to have a robot arm!"

 **Carolina** : _(exchanging a glance with Skullak before turning back)_ ... Right. Well, the reason we called you here is-

 **Nelliel** : _(interrupting)_ To investigate the alien temple Charon's been studying, yes dear, you told me on the radio. Not surprising, really; emerged from the ground shortly after UNSC pulled out, never did anything sadly but that doesn't mean that they won't! Thankfully, I spent time brushing up on their history in between college internships. Aren't you so _happy_ we're such close friends?

 **Carolina** : _(skeptical)_ I am...so thankful.

 _Rey and Baraggan walk up._

 **Rey** : Oh great, the mad scientist finally showed up.

 **Baraggan** : Hey, what's the status on that robot arm I ordered?

 **Nelliel** : Still in the trial stages, Colonel! Volunteers are proving hard to come by.

 **Baraggan** : Well, that's ridiculous.

 **Skullak** : Yeah, robot parts just... aren't really all they're cracked up to be. Trust me.

 **Carolina** : Why don't you go take a look at Charon's research? Epsilon and I have a few armor upgrades to take care of.

 **Nelliel** : Don't mind if I do!

 _She and Carolina walk off, and a teleportation grenade activates once they're gone, revealing Findor and Nirgge flat on their backs. They get up with some groaning._

 **Nirgge** : Gah! I _hate_ that.

 **Findor** : At least you don't get headaches...

 **Baraggan** : Nirgge! Findor! You're late!

 **Nirgge** : _(sighs)_ You were saying?

 **Rey** : What took you guys? It's instant teleportation.

 **Findor** : Well, we had to make sure Dordoni and Charlotte could handle things while we were gone.

 **Rey** : You hand out weapons and ammo, how hard can it be?

 _Findor and Nirgge exchange a look. Cut to the armory, where Dordoni and Charlotte are facing a line of soldiers._

 **Dordoni** : _(translated)_ Welcome to the armory. How may we assist you?

 **Charlotte** : Dordoni says you're two days late on your weapon rental!

 **Dordoni** : _(translated)_ Why do you insist on translating for me, when you could just be talking to them yourself?!

 **Charlotte** : Whoa, no need to call the man a turkey baster, Dordoni! Everyone makes mistakes. _(whispering to the Fed soldier in front of him)_ Forgive him, it's his fiery Latin temper.

 _Cut back to Findor and Nirgge._

 **Findor** : Yeah, harder than you think.

 **Nirgge** : So, you got the goods?

 **Baraggan** : You're darn right we do!

 _Cut to the goods._

 **Baraggan** : _(excitedly)_ Weapons! Ammo! Laser beams! You name it! It's Christmas come early! Unless you're looking at it from the pirates' point of view, in which case, it's kinda the opposite.

 **Rey** : Hanukkah?

 **Findor** : Excellent work, sir. Another enemy outpost taken down. I just wish I could've been there to see you on the battlefield.

 **Rey** : Why don't you guys come with us on the next mission?

 **Findor** : Whohohokay, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

 **Nirgge** : Better start packing this stuff up.

 _He throws a teleportation grenade, and the pile of weapons, ammo, and laser beams disappear instantly._

 **Nirgge** : Well, that's enough back-breaking labor for one day.

 _The PA system crackles to life._

 **Nelliel** : _(shouts)_ Eureka!

 **Nirgge** : Ow.

 **Nelliel** : _(over the PA system)_ I made a discovery!

 **Rey** : Damn. And I thought I was fast.

 **Nirgge** : What?

 **Rey** : I mean, uh, what? Nothing.

 **Soldier** : _(over the PA system, with the sound of a struggle)_ Ma'am, g-give me back the microphone!

 **Nelliel** : _(over the PA system)_ Hold on!

 _A crash is heard offscreen._

 **Nelliel** : All Freelancer-related people, get your butts in here!

 **Soldier** : _(over the PA system)_ Ma'am! Please, calm down!

 **Nelliel** : _(over the PA system)_ You have no appreciation for modern science!

 _There is more clattering; the PA system turns off. Cut to inside the facility, where Nelliel is standing facing Nirgge, Findor, Rey, and Baraggan. Carolina walks in._

 **Carolina** : That was fast.

 **Rey** : Look, it's completely normal, okay?

 **Skullak** : Wait, what?

 **Nelliel** : _(screams)_ Quiet! _(clears throat)_ Thank you. Now, say what you want about our enemies-

 **Findor** : They suck.

 **Baraggan** : They're dirtbags.

 **Rey** : Total dicks.

 **Skullak** : Yeah, not an invitation to talk, guys.

 **Nelliel** : -but you can't discount their ambition. Or intelligence, for that matter.

 **Carolina** : _(looking around)_ There's a reason Chairman Aizen got to where he is now.

 **Nelliel** : This compound isn't one of Charon's typical munitions factories or radio jammers. They're not disassembling alien artifacts here, they're trying to turn them back on. And that tower you saw seems to be their primary target.

 **Skullak** : Ohh, see, who called that? Me!

 **Findor** : So what does it do?

 **Nelliel** : That's exactly what I intend to find out! Now, who's down for a field trip?

 **Rey** : _(confusedly)_ Uhhh, what?

 **Nelliel** : Well, if I'm going to take a look at this tower, I'll require an escort. How about you, Findor, you've always seemed intelligent.

 **Findor** : Oh! Thank you!

 **Nelliel** : Well, compared to your friends.

 **Findor** : Wh- why did you feel the need to add that?

 **Nirgge** : No way! This shit's got Blue Team Problems written all over it.

 **Rey** : Aw, c'mon, man!

 **Nirgge** : Hey, you're the one that grabs swords and fucks aliens, alright? So don't come crying to me.

 **Carolina** : Epsilon and I should stay behind in case Charon launches a counterattack.

 **Skullak** : Yeah, and I can try to get through some of this data while you're out.

 **Baraggan** : _(chuckles)_ Well, don't you worry about it, little lady, me and Aquaman over here can handle whatever diabolical schemes those no-good space pirates may be preparing for us this very moment.

 **Nelliel** : Oh no, you'll mainly just be carrying my survey equipment to the site.

 **Baraggan** : Ah. Right! Then we'll... carry... that stu- we'll carry the shit outta that stuff.

 **Rey** : Mm, fine, let's just get this over with.

 **Nelliel** : Actually, a four-man team would be ideal. You wouldn't happen to know of anyone else you could spare to help us, would you?

 **Skullak** : _(appears next to Rey)_ Oh, I can think of someone.

 **Rey** : Please don't.

 _Cut to outside, where Di-Roy has just arrived via teleportation grenade. Rey and Skullak are standing in the background, watching him._

 **Di-Roy** : Field trip! Woooo! _(sprints around)_ We are going to a field! Oh my god! This is going to be...amazing! Field trip! _(runs off yelling something incoherent)_

 **Rey** : Skullak?

 **Skullak** : Yeah?

 **Rey** : You're dead to me.

 **Skullak** : _(sarcastic)_ Yeah, that's tough, I'll cry on the inside, don't forget to pack his lunch.

 **Skullak** : Also, he needs to take that pill twice a day.


	42. Ep 42

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Tourist Trap!_

 _Fade in to a base near the alien temple. Baraggan is looking out over it, with Nelliel and Rey behind him. It seems deserted._

 _ **CHARON EXCAVATION SITE**_

 **Baraggan** : Huh. Looks deserted.

 **Rey** : I've heard that one before.

 **Nelliel** : It's likely any remaining Charon personnel would've retreated after you took their research complex. Or maybe they're at lunch. I'm hungry...

 **Rey** : Well, how do we know for sure?

 _To Di-Roy on a rock._

 **Di-Roy** : IS ANYBODY STILL HERE?!

 ** **Rey** , ******Nelliel** , and ****Baraggan** : _(in unison)_ Di-Roy!

 **Di-Roy** : WHAT? OH, SORRY- um, sorry.

 **Baraggan** : You big blue idiot, you'll give away our position!

 _Baraggan climbs up onto the rock._

 **Baraggan** : IF YOU'RE STILL HERE, JUST IGNORE THAT LAST BIT!

 **Rey** : Good save, Sarge.

 **Nelliel** : Di-Roy, if you could, please, have Freckles run a thermal scan of the area.

 **Di-Roy** : Ah, yes. _(he brings his rifle up)_ Um, hey, Freckles?

 **Freckles** : Yes, Captain Di-Roy?

 **Di-Roy** : Oh, yes, uh, Freckles, could you go ahead and give me a... thermal... sweater to the base... thing.

 **Freckles** : Affirmative.

 **Rey** : Heat scanners and Google Translate. Nice.

 **Nelliel** : If you put the brain of a killing machine into an assault rifle, you don't cut corners.

 **Baraggan** : Can you give it control over the safety?

 **Freckles** : Affirmative. Also, I heard that.

 **Baraggan** : Whoa-oh. _(steps back)_

 **Nelliel** : Don't worry! My tests determined that it was actually safer to give Freckles full control of the rifle rather than Di-Roy.

 **Rey** : How'd you test that?

 **Nelliel** : I gave Di-Roy the rifle for about five seconds.

 **Rey** : Makes sense.

 **Nelliel** : What a busy day at the hospital that turned out to be!

 **Baraggan** : So what happens when you pull the trigger?

 **Nelliel** : It releases confetti and makes a fun party sound! _(A fun party sound immediately is heard offscreen.)_

 **Di-Roy** : ...Rey did it.

 _Cut to the base, where Baraggan, Nelliel, and Di-Roy are standing near some boxes. Rey comes running out of the base._

 **Rey** : Yep, the place is definitely deserted.

 **Baraggan** : We already knew that!

 **Rey** : Yeah, but I just wanted to make extra sure! You know, for extra safety. Oh look, you finished moving all of Odelschwanck's tools without me, maaan, bummer.

 **Baraggan** : _(grunts)_ You wouldn't happen to be related to the Nirgge family, would ya?

 **Rey** : I mean, I had relations with his sister! Bow chicka bow-wow!

 **Di-Roy** : Awwwww... yeah, I don't get it.

 **Nelliel** : Right. Let's begin! _(clears throat and starts what sounds like a tape recorder) (nonchalantly)_ This is the audio recording of Dr. Nelliel tu Odelschwanck, number 05519. Upon arriving at the excavation site, I made several observations. One; there's a large alien structure protruding from the ground and extending into the sky. Two; _(excited)_ it's nice and sunny out today and I love it! End log.

 **Rey** : Ladies and gentlemen, the smartest person on the entire planet.

 **Di-Roy** : I know! It's really intimidating.

 **Rey** : Shut up.

 **Baraggan** : So. What's up, doc?

 **Nelliel** : Well, that depends! Who here speaks alien?

 **Rey** : Skullak taught me a swear word.

 **Baraggan** : No hablo espanol.

 **Di-Roy** : I only know Wingdings.

 **Rey** : What, like the font?

 **Di-Roy** : It's a very misunderstood language.

 **Nelliel** : Okay! I'm just gonna take all of that as a no, so why don't you all keep watch while I investigate the ruins?

 **Rey** : Ugh. Fine.

 **Baraggan** : Roger that!

 **Di-Roy** : Yes! Square plate diamond snowflake happy face!

 **Nelliel** : _(looking up at the temple)_ Now then! Let's see what you're hiding...

 _ **ARMONIA, ARMORY**_

 _Back to the armory. A future-cube sound announces the arrival of Nirgge and Findor._

 **Findor** : We're back!

 **Charlotte** : _(running up to them)_ Finally! I don't know what has gotten into Dordoni today.

 **Nirgge** : Well, have fun sorting through all the junk. I got a date with some crackers and a can of Cheez Whiz.

 _Nirgge throws a teleportation grenade to the ground and all the weapons from the research complex reappear._

 **Findor** : Really, Nirgge?

 **Nirgge** : Nah, I'll probably skip the crackers.

 _Nirgge starts to walk off, then stops in his tracks._

 **Nirgge** : What the...?

 _An array of Fed and New Republic soldiers are standing in wait for him, with the lieutenants at the front of the crowd._

 **Pesche** : Oh, hey, Nirgge.

 **Nirgge** : Uhhh. Hello?

 **Sung-sun** : Can't help but notice you haven't been by the training room yet.

 **Nirgge** : Is... Wash still making-

 **Tesla** : Yup.

 **Nirgge** : ...and all of them are-

 **Dondochakka** : Real tired of running laps.

 **Nirgge** : ...yeah. I gotta go-

 **Pesche** : Take him! Take him now!

 _Everyone charges at Nirgge, and the sound of a fight ensues._

 **Nirgge** : No! They made me do the dishes!

 _Cut back to the tower, where Nelliel is crouched in front of some alien text while Rey paces in the background._

 **Rey** : Bored. Bored. Boooored. Bored.

 **Nelliel** : Captain Rey, why don't you patrol somewhere else?

 **Rey** : No way! I wanna be here for whenever you find out how to turn this thing on.

 **Nelliel** : Why?

 **Rey** : Uhh. Because it's probably gonna look awesome as shit? With like holographic lasers in the sky. I want a front row seat for that.

 **Nelliel** : You know, I bet you'd have just as good of a view if you joined your friends at the base.

 _Cut to the base, with an upward pan to Baraggan and Di-Roy as some music starts to play._

 **Di-Roy** : Hey.

 **Baraggan** : Yeah?

 **Di-Roy** : You ever wonder...

 _An awkward pause with a shot of Baraggan waiting._

 **Baraggan** : Wonder what?

 **Di-Roy** : Ah, um, sorry, kinda spaced out. Is that Skullak? _(Freckles fires, with fun party noise)_ Nope. Rock.

 _Cut back to Rey and Nelliel._

 **Rey** : Pass.

 **Nelliel** : Oh, well, then perhaps you could find something more productive to do with your time.

 **Rey** : Like what?

 **Nelliel** : I don't know. Practice aiming, or pushups or... whatever it is you soldiers do.

 **Rey** : Pfff. Practice aiming. Nobody does that.

 _Cut to Charlotte with a Plasma Rifle._

 **Charlotte** : Freeze! Reach for the sky, mercenary scum!

 **Findor** : Charlotte, put that down! It's not a toy, it's... wait, what is that?

 **Charlotte** : I dunno. It was in the pile of laser weapons you and Nirgge brought back.

 **Findor** : Looks like an old plasma rifle. Guess it got shipped by mistake.

 **Charlotte** : So does that mean I can keep it?

 **Findor** : Well, Harribel did say all the alien stuff was broken. But I still can't help but feel that you're setting a bad example for the children.

 **Charlotte** : Children?

 **Findor** : Oh, right, right, Di-Roy went with Sarge, uh, yeah fuck it, go nuts.

 **Charlotte** : Yes! Agent Double-0 Chuhlhourne is back in action! _(goes back to aiming)_

 _Someone clears his throat offscreen._ _A wider shot reveals that Charlotte is aiming at a New Republic soldier waiting patiently at the armory. He has his hands up._

 **New Republic Soldier** : Um... so yeah, can I get my rifle now?

 **Charlotte** : I'm on the case! _(he walks off)_

 **New Republic Soldier** : ( _sighs)_ I bet the Feds never had to put up with this.

 _Cut to Rey, who's doing a little "practice" aiming._

 **Rey** : Boosh! Hah! Oh, oh what, you talkin' to me? Hm, you talking' to me, huh? Yeah! Hi-yah!

 _Cut to Nelliel still hard at work._

 **Nelliel** : _(sighs)_ Bet the Rebels never had to put up like this.

 **Rey** : Oh, so you want a rematch, huh? _(chuckles)_ Well, if you insist.

 _Rey pulls out his sword, which is immediately followed by a holographic projection lighting up a symbol over the door._

 **Rey** : Huh? Uh, hey doc?

 **Nelliel** : Transcribing! Please don't interrupt! 'Weapon'... 'weapon'... why does it all say 'weapon'? Oh!

 **Rey** : I think I found something!

 **Nelliel** : Not now, please, I may have just made a breakthrough! What is that word...?

 **Rey** : _(slowly approaching the door)_ Okay, yeah, but I really think you wanna see this.

 **Nelliel** : Is it... 'key'?

 **Rey** : This is some serious weird alien- _(as he approaches the door, an alien projection appears in red)_ SHIT!

 _Rey stumbles back, swiping the the alien projection with his sword in the process. The alien disappears and the symbol over the door looks distinctly... unlocked. Everything starts shaking._

 **Nelliel** : What did you do?!

 **Rey** : I... have no idea.

 _Everything fades to white. Cut to the research outpost, where Fed and New Republic soldiers watch the tower light up. The scene then cuts back to the armory, where Charlotte is still brandishing his new gun, this time at Findor._

 **Charlotte** : Down on yer knees, pilgrim!

 **Findor** : Charlotte, cut it out! ...wait, are you supposed to be a spy or a cowboy?

 _Charlotte's gun suddenly activates and starts shooting on his own while he yelps in surprise._

 **Findor** : _(ducking)_ Ahh! What the fuck! Oh my god!

 _Weapons and transportation grenades suddenly activate, causing Charlotte and Findor to scream in panic._

 **Findor** : Ahhhh, god why, what is happening!

 _The weapons soon stop firing. Findor takes a couple of extra seconds of screaming to be sure. Dordoni walks in._

 **Dordoni** : _(translated)_ I'm not cleaning that up.

 _Fade back in to Rey and Nelliel. A huge array of alien weapons and vehicles are hovering in front of them. Baraggan and Di-Roy come running up._

 **Baraggan** : What in the heck just happened? Where'd all those guns come from?

 **Rey** : Did you see that?

 **Baraggan** : Of course we did!

 **Di-Roy** : Yeah! I mean... I mean, the view wasn't that great but, um, yeah we got the gist of it.

 **Rey** : Told you!

 _A massive booming voice starts speaking an alien language._

 **Di-Roy** : ...um. What.

 **Nelliel** : It's... alien.

 **Rey** : No shit!

 _The voice says something again._

 **Nelliel** : Well, say something!

 **Rey** : Uh. What's up?

 _A giant, alien, extremely dramatic sound. Everything shakes and there's another flash of white light. A shot from back at the research outpost shows the tower darkening. The weapons disappear, and whatever just happened appears to have undone itself._

 **Rey** : ...whoa.

 _Baraggan tackles Rey and starts punching him while he's down._

 **Rey** : Ow!

 **Baraggan** : When the voice! Of alien! Jesus! Calls down to you! You do not! Respond with 'what's up'! (Rey _groans)_

 **Nelliel** : Rey. Do you have any idea what you just did?

 **Rey** : _(getting up)_ Mm, I don't know, suffered a concussion?

 **Nelliel** : You just activated technology that's been dormant for thousands of years.

 _A holographic map appears over the door, with a blinking light. near the center._

 **Nelliel** : And now I think it wants you to go somewhere.


	43. Ep 43

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _No Fighting in the War Room!_

 _Fade in to a tractor beam tower at Crash Site Alpha. Numerous pirates present._

 **Counselor:** ( _off screen_ ) He's been calling himself "Sharkface".

 _Cut to inside of the tower. The Counselor is speaking with Grimjow and Locus._

 **Grimmjow:** What is he, a Batman villain?

 _ **TRACTOR BEAM TOWER A**_

 **Counselor:** His physical appearance, combined with a deep-seated sense of contrarianism seems-

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(interrupts)_ Oh my god, shut up. I don't care.

 **Locus:** Can we use him?

 **Counselor:** If we continue our sessions, absolutely.

 **Locus:** Good.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(snorts)_ "Sharkface", "Locus". Whatever happened to normal fucking names? I mean, am I crazy?!

 **Counselor:** Well...

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(stands up, pointing to the Counselor)_ Don't psychoanalyze me.

 _The lights suddenly go out. All three look around._

 **Counselor:** What was that?

 _A Space Pirate calls to the mercs over the radio._

 **Space Pirate 1:** _(on radio)_ Grimmjow, Locus. We've got a problem.

 **Locus:** Report.

 **Space Pirate 1:** Our teleporters malfunctioned. They just detonated.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** How many?

 **Space Pirate 1:** Well...em...all of them.

 _Locus and Grimmjow look at each other. Suddenly, a red light appears behind them. They turn to it. Cut to the war room at Armonia. Patros, Harribel, Wash and the Reds communicating with Carolina, Epsilon, Rey, Di-Roy, Baraggan and Dr. Odelschwanck._

 _ **ARMONIA WAR ROOM**_

 **Patros:** _(yelling)_ Nelliel! Please, slow down.

 **Nelliel:** Slow down?! General, the alien weapons, the vehicles, _all_ of the artifacts we've found over the years, they weren't broken! They were just _deactivated_! And Rey's sword made them work!

 **Baraggan:** For all of two seconds.

 **Harribel:** How is that possible?

 **Rey:** Well, it's kinda like a sword _and_ a key.

 ** **Harribel** :** What does that even mean?

 _ **CHARON RESEARCH COMPLEX 2C**_

 ** **Rey** :** Yeah, I was part of this "Great Prophecy" thing, because I took a sword-key from a tower and then an alien took on a quest to get a ship, but in the end it all kinda turned out to be an excuse to get me knocked up and have an alien baby.

 ** **Patros** :** You've...reproduced?

 ** **Rey** :** _(produces a picture, showing it to the camera)_ Fuck yeah, Junior is awesome! Check him out and his 5th grade basketball team!

 _Picture shows Junior, grown-up, along with five other kids, all holding basketballs._

 ** **Rey** :** _(sighs)_ They grow up so fast.

 ** ** **Patros**** :** Well, that's the last thing I thought I'd see today. Or ever.

 ** **Rey** :** Yeah, I know. Who carries around actual photographs anymore?

 **Washington:** Alright, focus. Let's go over what we know.

 **Findor:** Well, whatever Rey did caused all of our teleportation grenades to explode, fried Charon's weapons _and_ almost got me killed. Good going asshole.

 **Carolina:** Actually, this could be perfect.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Well, maybe if Findor had been replaced with Nirgge, and instead of "almost killed", he was...

 **Nirgge:** _(interrupts)_ Stop.

 **Carolina:** The alien weapons may have been active for a few seconds, but Charon's hybrid tech is still inoperable.

 **Nelliel:** Whatever pieces they took from the alien technology and crammed into their own, likely short-circuited the equipment when it tried to come back online.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Which means the Space Pirates ain't got their fancy lasers no more!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Yeah, but neither do we!

 **Washington:** That doesn't matter.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Speak for yourself! That's _two_ badass alien weapons I've lost now!

 **Washington:** Charon has always had the technological advantage over us. The only reason we've managed to win these last few weeks was because we have them outnumbered.

 ** ** **Patros**** :** And yet we still lose troops with every victory.

 **Harribel:** True, but now we have them outnumbered _and_ outgunned. Without their toys they've got nothing more than standard UNSC weaponry. It's an even playing field.

 ** **Findor** :** You know, I've been working with weapons a lot lately and I'd just like to point out, that the _standard_ UNSC weaponry can still put a fucking hole in your skull.

 ** ** ** **Patros****** :** We've also yet to encounter Locus or Grimmjow since they left.

 **Washington:** We'll deal with them, when the time comes. Right, Carolina?

 **Carolina:** _(hesitantly)_ Right, of course.

 **Skullak:** What are you thinking, Harribel?

 ** **Harribel** :** Yes, we have been doing well these past few weeks, but we still can't make contact with the UNSC and we have no idea how many jammers Charon installed on Chorus. For all we know they could have some on the moon. I'm not sure how much longer these small victories will be able to keep our heads above the water, so maybe it's time we aim higher? The tractor beams at Crash Site Alpha are the only things keeping us from leaving the planet.

 ** ** ** **Patros****** :** Y-you can't possibly be suggesting, that-

 ** **Harribel** :** If we take them down, we can send a ship to bring help!

 **Washington:** The mercs have to know that. Those towers are probably the most heavily defended targets on the planet, especially now.

 ** ** ** ** **Patros******** :** Yes, precisely!

 ** **Harribel** :** We lose people with every fight. You said so yourself. If we don't make a move now, while they're weak, we're going to keep losing people until there is noone left!

 **Rey:** Woah-woah-woah, hold up! What about the map? After that big boy turned off the tower, it showed us a map and some coordinates.

 **Di-Roy:** Rey's right. Could be buried treasure.

 **Baraggan:** Or a stockpile of alien weapons that melt your face off! Or turn you to stone. Or turn stones into people!

 **Carolina:** They have a point. Taking Crash Site Alpha is possible, but not without heavy losses. Those coordinates could lead us to something that might save lives.

 **Nirgge:** Uh, yeah. "Could"?

 **Skullak:** One tower took out all of Charon's weapons. There's no telling what another one could do. I mean, hell! If it gives us a way to turn the other tower back on, we can add badass alien lasers to the armory! Why else are we in this war?!

 **Findor:** And I get to add another weapon category to the armory spreadsheet.

 ** **Rey** :** Nerd.

 ** **Findor** :** Organizing data's not nerdy, it's efficient! Come on, Skullak is a computer. He knows what I'm talking about.

 ** **Skullak** :** _(to Rey)_ Yeah, that nerd doesn't speak for me.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Hey, that reminds me. If we're here, who's running the armory?

 _Cut to the armory with Tesla outside, apparently having waited some time._

 **Tesla:** Hmmm, the sign says "open", but noone's here. _(pauses for a moment)_ I'll give it two more hours.

 _Cut back to the War Room and the Research Complex._

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** We don't have time to investigate! For all we know, Charon's already working on a new batch of rifle replacements.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** "Don't have time?" We can just fly right over and check it out.

 **Washington:** We already know Locus and Grimmjow have scouts monitoring our activity whenever possible. If we send a ship to the middle of nowhere, they'll notice and they'll follow.

 **Carolina:** If these coordinates lead to something, we can't afford it falling into Charon's hands. We need to send a small team on foot.

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** And that will take time that we don't have.

 ** **Skullak** :** _(groans)_ But what if Charon's already there? What if they've been sitting on this ship for years and we've just turned it on?! We gotta find out what's out there, even if it's just to make sure the mercs don't use it against us!

 **Patros:** I-is it possible to... divide and conquer?

 **Washington:** Yeah, Carolina could take an away-team out to the coordinates and Harribel could lead the charge against Alpha.

 ** **Patros** :** Why does Harribel get to lead the charge?

 **Washington:** Are _you_ volunteering?

 ** **Patros** :** Well, I... heh, unfortunately we'll need _someone_ to stay behind and gaurd the capital and I know this city better than anyone.

 **Nirgge:** Nice bail.

 **Washington:** Then it sounds like Harribel's our leader.

 ** ** ** **Harribel****** :** The Feds won't take orders from me.

 **Washington:** They will if their lives are on the line. I've been training them. Both sides have come a long way and we'll need all hands on deck if we wanna pull this off.

 **Baraggan:** Well, then you can count me and my boys in!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Ooooohh, ah we need to work at the armory actually.

 **Findor:** Shshshsh, yeah, _really_ sorry, guys. I wish we could help.

 **Dordoni:** _Agradable fianza_. [Nice bail.]

 **Charlotte:** Well, if you really wanna go, Dordoni and I can handle the armory.

 ** **Baraggan** :** Excellent suggestion, Charlotte! Findor, looks like you're gonna get to see your fearless colonel on the battlefield after all! _(chuckles)_ I wish I could look through your eyes, and see me.

 ** **Findor** :** _(unenthusiastically)_ Yaaaaaay.

 ** **Nirgge** :** _(to Charlotte)_ I'm gonna kill you in your sleep.

 **Skullak:** Right. Then the rest of us can act as the "away" team. Rey brings the sword, Odelschwanck brings the brains,-

 **Di-Roy:** And I bring the comic relief.

 ** **Skullak** :** I was gonna say "the rifle with auto-targeting software".

 _Di-Roy presses the trigger, once again releasing confetti and making a party sound._

 **Carolina:** We'll hop on the next Pelican to Armonia and prep to head out.

 ** **Skullak** :** And if we play this right, the mercs won't even know what hit'em.

 _Cut to Locus and Grimmjow in the Tractor Beam Tower, looking at something. A female Space Pirate holding a Battle Rifle walks up behind them._

 **Space Pirate 2:** We had the scientists check _everything_. Binary rifles, suppressors, they're all dead. Even the ones on the ship.

 **Locus:** Then send them up here. We have another job for them.

 **Space Pirate 2:** You got it, boss! _(walks out)_

 **Space Pirate 1:** _(on radio)_ Sir, we just received a communications request from Control. What should I tell him?

 _Cut to reveal of what the mercs are looking at: a red holographic map identical to the one the Blues found._

 **Grimmjow:** Tell him we'll call right back.


	44. Ep 44

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Along Came a Spider!_

 _Fade into Armonia with multiple soldiers running around. Cut to Harribel approaching two Feds._

 **Harribel:** Alright men, let's get this hog lined up with the others.

 **Fed Soldier 1:** Uh, have you filled out the vehicle request forms?

 ** **Harribel** :** What are you talking about?

 **Fed Soldier 2:** The Federal Army follows a very strict regimen when it comes to requesting weapons and vehicles.

 ** **Harribel** :** Well, this isn't the Federal Army.

 **Fed Soldier 1:** Tell me about it.

 ** **Harribel** :** Listen you little-

 _Washington walks in._

 **Washington:** You two. Why isn't this warthog over with the rest of the vehicles?

 **Fed Soldier 2:** Oh, Agent Washington!

 **Fed Soldier 1:** We will get right on that sir.

 **Washington:** Good.

 _The two Feds hop into the warthog and look towards Harribel and Washington._

 **Washington:** Now, is there anything you feel like you should say to General Harribel?

 _The two Feds stare at Harribel._

 **Fed Soldier 1:** ... Bitch.

 _The Feds drive off._

 **Washington:** Hey! _(running after the warthog)_

 ** **Harribel** :** Remind me to put those two on the front line.

 **Washington:** Don't you start too.

 ** **Harribel** :** I told you they won't listen! They're just a bunch of mindless drones that do whatever Patros tells them to do.

 **Washington:** And you're the leader of the cave-dwelling savages that blow things up to get what they want.

 ** **Harribel** :** You know that's not true.

 **Washington:** Well, you haven't done anything to prove them wrong yet, have you?

 ** **Harribel** :** Agent Washington, I'd appreciate it if you didn't lecture me on how to make friends with the enemy.

 **Washington:** The enemy?

 ** **Harribel** :** You know what I mean.

 **Washington:** We're all on the same side here, Harribel. Have some faith. If you start believing in them, maybe they'll start believing in you.

 ** **Harribel** :** Yeah. ...Maybe.

 _A warthog passes by in the background, with Sung-sun at the wheel._

 **Sung-sun:** Excuse me, vehicle coming through.

 **Washington:** Please tell me that wasn't Sung-sun.

 _A crash is heard off screen._

 **Findor:** ( _off screen_ ) GOD DAMN IT!

 ** **Sung-sun** :** ( _off screen_ ) Sorry!

 _Cut to show Nirgge and Findor looking at a crashed warthog with Sung-sun at the wheel. Harribel and Washington run towards them._

 ** **Findor** :** How?! How was that possible?! You were going like 5 miles an hour!

 ** **Sung-sun** :** Uh, I'm sorry, sir. Just bad luck, I guess?

 _pesche runs out from behind a warthog._

 **Pesche:** Yeah uh, just so you know, I'm fine.

 _Pesche is hit by a warthog driven by_ _Dondochakka._

 **Dondochakka:** This where we are parking the cars? ( _under the warthog, Pesche groans_ )

 _Cut to Skullak staring aimlessly. Carolina, Dr. Odelschwanck, Rey, and Di-Roy are seen on warthogs._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon?

 _Skullak does not respond._

 **Carolina:** Hey Skullak!

 **Skullak:** Huh? What? What?

 **Carolina:** I said, is this where we're parking?

 ** **Skullak** :** Oh yeah, this is it.

 _ **CHORUS • UNSETTLED TERRITORY**_

 **Rey:** Sweet, we're here?

 ** **Skullak** :** Nah, just a pit stop. We need to refill the jeeps while we have some cover. There should be some gas cans in the back...

 **Di-Roy:** You told me those were lemonade cans.

 ** **Skullak** :** What? When?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** The first week we met.

 ** **Skullak** :** ( _chuckling uneasily_ ) Oh. Di-Roy, have you been drinking-?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** The first gulp was pretty rough, but you know, I didn't want you guys to think you made bad lemonade.

 ** **Rey** :** Well that explains the fuck out of your birthday candles.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Yeah I wished I was a dragon. It was the best birthday ever.

 **Carolina:** Hey Epsilon.

 ** ** **Skullak**** :** What's up C?

 **Carolina:** Wanna run some more equipment training?

 ** ** **Skullak**** :** What? Right now?

 **Carolina:** Might as well while we're stopped. It's good knowing the bubble shield works, but I still feel like my deployment time could be better.

 ** ** ** **Skullak****** :** Carolina, you're fine. Just relax, alright?

 **Carolina:** But-

 ** ** ** **Skullak****** :** Hey, hey. Carolina, come on. You know how you used to be, okay? You start pushing yourself too far, you're gonna get hurt. And the last thing we need right now is another stupid injury. So come on, take it easy, loosen up.

 **Carolina:** Loosen up. Right.

 ** ** ** **Skullak****** :** Hey, are you doing okay?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Okay, we're ready to go.

 **Skullak:** Oh, that fast. You filled up our car too?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Yeah, I gave it to both of them. Bow-chika-bow-

 **Carolina:** Bow-chicka-bow...? What? That's the joke, right?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Did she just say my thing?

 ** ** **Di-Roy**** :** Um, no. Uh Rey, that's Hey-chika-bump-bump. Awkward.

 **Carolina:** ( _to Skullak_ ) You said to loosen up!

 ** ** ** **Skullak****** :** That's a little too loose. Just tighten that back up a little bit.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** ( _off screen_ ) I feel violated.

 _Cut to Locus at a jungle, standing beside a computer terminal. Grimmjow approaches him._

 **Grimmjow:** I can't stand this prick.

 **Locus:** He's our employer.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Still a prick.

 **Locus:** Grimmjow.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Whatever, let's just get this over with.

 _Cut to the Staff of Charon drifting in space amongst what appears to be an asteroid field filled with debris._

 **Locus:** Control, this is Chorus transmitting on a secure feed, over.

 _ **STAFF OF CHARON**_

 _Cut to the Chairman's trophy room. A row of items are seen: Epsilon-Tex's shattered helmet, the Monitor shell, Meta's Brute Shot, Carolina's Magnum and the Capture Unit. The Chairman is speaking with the mercs on a holo-screen. Holograms detailing news and a stock market can be seen._

 **Chairman:** Locus and Grimmjow, I was beginning to wonder if you were purposefully neglecting my transmissions.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Wha, neglect _you_? _(chuckles)_ Chairman, please! Never in a million years! We were just... kinda in the middle of something.

 **Chairman:** ( _sarcastically_ ) Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Grimmjow. I know _exactly_ how frustrating it is to be interrupted. Just this morning I met with a client, who was very interested in our new Suppressor submachine guns _(picks up a broken Suppressor, showing it to the mercs)_ until the bloody thing BLEW UP IN HIS HANDS!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Gosh, you know, we are so sorry to hear that, sir. But it kinda sounds like you should take that up with your science team.

 **Chairman:** Oh, I did. _(tosses away the rifle)_ In fact, I spoke with the members stationed with you on Chorus. _They_ seem to believe that the colonists and their... _heroes_... are responsible for the incident. Last I checked, _you_ are responsible for them.

 **Locus:** We are taking care of the situation.

 **Chairman:** Are you? When I hired you, I was promised perfection. I was told that you were the best! Everything we had on your backgrounds and previous missions, told me: You were the right choice! But, here we are.

 **Locus:** Sir-

 **Chairman:** _(interrupts)_ Is it lack of resources? Are the ships I've redirected to your front door not helpful?!What about the armor enhancements?! Stopping bullets in their tracks! Vanishing into thin air! Are these giftsnot good enough for you?!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** It's complicated.

 **Chairman:** No, it isn't! In fact, it's remarkably simple! _..._ Everything I've built... _Everything_ I've worked towards, rests upon a strong foundation. An intricate web of partners, politicians and clients each supporting one another and right now...your thread is straining to support the rest. I think I know what the problems is. I think, it's your motivation. Clearly your monetary compensation isn't enough. So I'd like to try something different. F.I.L.S.S.?

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** Yes, Chairman.

 _A panel in the room slides off showing a pod, which is raised up._

 **Chairman:** _(smiling)_ Do you have any idea what this is?

 _Cut to the reveal of the content: the Meta's armor._

 **Locus:** The armor of Freelancer Agent Maine.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** The Meta.

 **Chairman:** Not anymore. This is the future of modern warfare. Active camouflage, enhanced strength, light shields. Dr. Tuma paired each of his Freelancers with specialized equipment, but with our modifications, this suit contains **all** of them.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I thought that wasn't possible.

 **Chairman:** Not initially. The armor enhancements had to be removed and studied in secret, so that we could create the modified versions you both carry now. The variations reduced power consumption significantly, solving a large portion of the puzzle.

 **Locus:** But it's still not ready.

 **Chairman:** No, not yet. Individually our new equipment can be activated without AI assistance, but tests have shown that running multiple enhancements proves to be _far_ more taxing on the mind than we anticipated.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** So, what? You want us to capture the Epsilon AI?

 **Chairman:** Recovering Freelancer equipment is always a priority, Grimmjow, but the Epsilon unit is _far_ too old to run this suit properly. I'm doing my best to secure an AI through legitimate means, but even with my political influence, the acts of the late Dr. Tuma have made AI acquisition an extremely difficult process. _(lays hand on armor and strokes with his thumb)_ But it's only a matter of time. _(turns to the mercs)_ Which brings back to my point. _If_ the two of you can successfully complete your mission _before_ this suit is ready, Charon Industries is willing to _lend_ you the completed model for your own use, as a form of "field testing".

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(excited)_ Ho ho, become a one-man walking weapon? I like the sound of that!

 **Chairman:** However, if you fail to eliminate the remaining stragglers on Chorus, then we will find another candidate to test the suit. And _their_ first task will be finishing what you started, as well as tying up _any loose ends._ _(Cut to mercs)_ Do I make myself clear?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** ( _simultaneously_ ) Crystal.

 **Locus:** ( _simultaneously_ ) Yes sir.

 **Chairman:** Good. _(Transmission ends.)_

 ** **Grimmjow** :** What'd I tell ya? Fucking prick.

 _Grimmjow walks off-screen, Locus is silent._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Hey! _(Locus turns to Grimmjow)_ Let's see what this map led us to.

 **Locus:** Right.

 _The mercs walk up on a ramp to reveal a big alien temple deeply forested. A wide energy beam is emitted upwards. Several Space Pirates are on-site._

 _ **JUNGLE TEMPLE**_

 **Well, Aizen really does play a great part as the Chairman huh?**


	45. Ep 45

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Locus of Control!_

 _At the Jungle Temple, Locus and Grimmjow meet up with one of the scientists and a Space Pirate serving as escort._

 **Locus:** What has your team found?

 **Scientist:** This is... huh well, where do I even begin?

 **Grimmjow:** Well, you could start with what it _is._

 **Scientist:** A central hub. Some sort of...device connected to the rest of the temples on the planet, that's our best guess at least, but this energy source in the center is...something else.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Can it be weaponized?

 **Scientist:** No, no no no no. The energy here is reminiscent of the teleportation devices we studied to make the cubes. We _think_ it's a gateway.

 **Locus:** To where?

 **Scientist:** Well, that is the question of the day, now isn't it?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** So... anyone care to take the first step?

 **Scientist:** I would... _not_ advise that. We've been doing our best to decipher the text inscribed on the temple walls. It's all very biblical in tone. Lots of symbolism, but it does seem this gateway has some... well, rules.

 **Locus:** Rules?

 **Scientist:** The text is very specific. "Only a true warrior may enter; a being of great strength and mental clarity."

 **Locus:** And what would happen to a man, who _failed_ these requirements?

 **Scientist:** We don't know.

 _GRimmjow kicks the escorting Space Pirate_ _into the beam. He is gone with a flash._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Guess we'll find out.

 _Cut to the interior of a tower. Edrad is gearing up and talking with the Counselor. A number of spraypaint cans are on the desk. Edrad's armor has spraypainted red trim on it._

 **Counselor:** Are you finished?

 **Edrad:** Almost. _(stretches out arm)_ But you can't rush art, Counselor. ( _picks up a can, shakes it and starts spraying paint on the helmet_ )

 **Counselor:** You find working with tools to be therapeutic?

 ** **Edrad** :** Therapeutic?

 **Counselor:** Relaxing. Does it help to cope-

 ** **Edrad** :** I know what "therapeutic" means. And no, not really. _(keeps spray painting)_

 **Counselor:** Let's change the subject. I trust you've reviewed the reports on Agents Washington and Carolina?

 ** **Edrad** :** Yup.

 **Counselor:** Excellent. Did you have any questions?

 ** **Edrad** :** No.

 **Counselor:** _(sighs)_ Good. Then why don't we go over the mission briefing again?

 ** **Edrad** :** The mercs want the Freelancers dead, so they got me to do it. Briefing over.

 **Counselor:** There is no need for hostility.

 ** **Edrad** :** _(turns around to face the Counselor)_ I beg to differ. See, those super-soldier freaks dropped a building on me. They left me for dead, and then they killed my friends. They took away the only family I ever had while I was in physical fucking therapy. There's plenty of need for hostility here, Counselor.

 **Counselor:** Then perhaps you should do your best to channel that energy.

 ** **Edrad** :** _(turns around, walking back to the desk, snorting on the way. He picks up his helmet, but puts it back down quickly)_ You know, I do have a question. _(turns around again and points to the Counselor)_ How did _you_ end up on a ship full of killers? You don't look like a criminal to me.

 **Counselor:** _(hesitantly)_ Let's not get off topic.

 ** **Edrad** :** I wanna know.

 **Counselor:** I believed in the wrong people. By the time I realized it, the damage was already done.

 ** **Edrad** :** And what would you do, if those people were here now? Would you kill'em?

 **Counselor:** If it meant getting my life back, I would.

 ** **Edrad** :** Hmpf. Well then... _(puts on his helmet)_ I guess you belong here after all.

 _The Counselor looks somewhat upset. Edrad meanwhile pulls up his Assault Rifle in front of him on the desk. Cut back to the Jungle Temple. With a flash, the Space Pirate kicked into the beam returns._

 **Space Pirate:** Oh God! I'm back! _I'm back!_

 **Grimmjow:** _(to the scientist)_ Guess I owe you fifty bucks.

 **Locus:** _(walks up to the Pirate)_ What happened?

 **Space Pirate:** _(breathing heavily)_ I saw... terrible things... people I've killed...

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Oh man, if we're gonna meet every person we've wronged or some bullshit, it's gonna take forever.

 **Locus:** Quiet.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Seriously dude, I'm talking _weeks_!

 **Scientist:** _(scans the Pirate)_ Well, aside from his scares his vitals seem perfectly normal.

 **Locus:** Then I'm going in.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** What, _now?_

 **Locus:** We're already low on time. I can get what we came for.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Oh, bullshit! I know what this is about! Why do you know _I'm_ not the true warrior.

 **Locus:** Because you're _you_.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Yeah, and being me is _awesome_! _(Locus is silent, not convinced)_ _(sighs)_ Alright, look, why don't we _both_ go in and let the giant alien thing decide?

 **Locus:** Fine. _(walks into the beam with Grimmjow)_

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Good. Just don't cry to me, when you lose.

 **Locus:** I won't. _(Grimmjow looks at him, Locus hastily corrects himself)_ _Lose_. I-I won't _lose._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(chuckling)_ Too late, fucked it up.

 _Grimmjow walks into the beam and disappears with a flash. Locus follows and teleports._

 **Locus:** Grimmjow, come in.

Locus ends up on some form of space platform. He is alone. He tries to cloak, but the module malfunctions and he is thrown out of stealth. Locus walks down a nearby ramp.

 **Locus:** Grimmjow, I've made it through the gateway, equipment is malfunctioning. If you can hear this-

 _Locus is interrupted by a booming alien voice._

 **Alien Voice:** _SHALOUKUUAA. SURAKIE SUTO YOH?_

 **Locus:** I don't understand.

 **Alien Voice:** _WHO ARE YOU?_

 _Locus is suddenly surrounded by a squad of four UNSC soldiers wearing Aviator, Warrior, Recruit and Scanner helmets respectively. All four have their guns pointed at him._

 **Aviator Soldier:** Freeze!

 **Locus:** What?!

 **Aviator Soldier:** Don't move!

 **Warrior Soldier:** Don't you fucking move!

 **Recruit Soldier:** Lower your weapon or we _will_ shoot!

 **Warrior Soldier:** Put the weapon down!

 _Locus lowers his shotgun. Another UNSC soldier walks into view._

 **Captain:** What do we have here, men?

 **Aviator Soldier:** Caught us a monster, captain. I think it understands what we're saying.

 **Captain:** Really? Then how about you tell us what you're doing here?

 **Locus:** I... came through the gateway.

 **Warrior Soldier:** Speak English, motherfucker!

 **Locus:** What? ...Wait... I know you.

 **Warrior Soldier:** _(distraught)_ Why is it looking at me?!

 **Past** ** **Grimmjow** :** _(mockingly)_ Maybe you're just its type.

 **Locus:** No... Grimmjow...

 _Grimmjow shows up, wearing the tan and green armor the mercs wore back during the Great War._

 **Past** ** **Grimmjow** :** I say we blow its brains out.

 **Past Locus:** That's your answer to _everything_.

 **Locus:** _(mutters)_ Impossible!

 **Captain:** Hey! You quit eyeballing my men and give me some answers. Are you alone?

 **Locus:** I- I don't understand. You're all supposed to be dead!

 **Aviator Soldier:** What's it saying?

 **Locus:** _(to his past self)_ You're me.

 **Past Locus:** Sir, I think it's trying to surrender.

 **Past** ** **Grimmjow** :** Bullshit, I think it's stalling! Sir, this feels like a trap.

 **Locus:** Why don't you recognize me?

 **Captain:** Private, I did not ask you for your opinion-

 **Locus:** _Listen to me!_

 **Warrior Soldier:** Hey, watch it!

 **Aviator Soldier:** It's getting hostile!

 **Past** ** **Grimmjow** :** Sir, this thing's wasting our time and we're in no position to start taking prisoners.

 **Captain:** _(sighs)_ Fine. _(to Grimmjow and Locus)_ You two, move into one of these buildings and take it out. Quietly.

 **Locus:** What?

 **Past Locus:** Sir, it's scared.

 **Captain:** If it's smart, it should be.

 **Past Locus:** If we could restrain it, we could-

 **Captain:** _(interrupts)_ Son, you listen here!

 **Locus:** No.

 **Captain:** You're a soldier! In this war, you are nothing, but a suit of armor and a gun! So when I give you an order you damn well follow it! Do I make myself clear?!

 **Locus:** _(raises gun)_ **NO!**

 **Past** ** **Grimmjow** :** Drop'em!

 _All soldiers open fire on Locus. A bright flash and Locus is back at the Temple._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Locus! It's about goddamn time- Hey!

 _Locus holds Grimmjow at gunpoint, Grimmjow raises back his DMR at him._

 **Locus:** What did you see?!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Calm down, asshole, you're fine. It was an illusion, a trick!

 **Locus:** _What did you see?_

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Hmpf. Well, if you _must_ know, I didn't see a thing. I passed the test. Turns out I'm a true warrior.

 **Locus:** _(lowers shotgun, disbelieving)_ What?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(lowers DMR)_ Kidding. It was fucked. Saw shit straight out of my nightmares.

 **Locus:** Do you think this is a _joke?_

 ** **Grimmjow** :** No, but intel says we're out of time, so you can bitch about this later. Right now we need to move to Plan B. _(turns to the two Space Pirates and the scientist behind him)_ Everyone, pack it up! Leave no trace we were here. I mean it, if I catch _one thing_ left behind, someone's getting thrown off the Pelican!

 _As the Pirates walk away, Locus turns to the energy beam. Grimmjow snaps him back to attention._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(to Locus)_ Hey! _(Locus turns to face him)_ Get it together. _(walks away and snorts mockingly)_ True warrior.

 _Locus is silent and turns to look at the beam one last time, before walking away. View of Locus fades. Suddenly Carolina, Dr. Odelschwanck and the Blues minus Wash walk forward to the beam._

 **Rey:** Holy shit!

 **Epsilon:** I think it's safe to say we're here.

 **Carolina:** And not a moment too soon.

 **Look like Arturo had a dark past huh?**


	46. Ep 46

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Test Your Might!_

 _Fade in to reveal the Red Team, Rebels, and Feds driving towards the Desert Refueling Station. Cut to the Reds, dismounted on their warthog, huddled up. The Rebels, Feds, and Washington dismount from their warthogs as well._

 **Baraggan:** Now look, the fact of the matter is the ability to fly north, and only north, is just gonna lead to more problems than it solves.

 _ **ABANDONED FUELING STATION**_

 **Findor:** Thank you!

 **Nirgge:** Whatever, this road trip sucks!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Nonsense! Road trips are an inherent part of the Red Team experience. Enjoy the exotic sights and sounds of this _beautiful_ , albeit wartorn, land.

 ** **Nirgge** :** It's a gas station... that we've been to before! Seriously, there's like three places to go on the whole planet!

 _Washington approaches the Reds._

 **Washington:** Alright, almost time to hit the road again.

 ** **Findor** : **Any word from the away team?

 **Washington:** They found some sort of giant alien temple shooting pure energy into the sky.

 ** **Nirgge** :** _(sighs)_ What'd I tell ya? _Blue Team_ problems.

 **Washington:** You know, I think it's really admirable that you all choose to stay and fight for the people of Chorus.

 ** **Findor** : **Oh. Thanks, Wash.

 **Washington:** When I first met you all, I honestly thought you'd never amount to anything, but you've really proven me wrong.

 ** **Nirgge** : **Uhhhh, cool. Thanks, dude.

 **Washington:** Sure, you may not be the most _conventional_ soldiers, but no matter the challenge you always manage to find a way to come out on top. And that's something really special.

 ** **Baraggan** : **What's going on with you?

 **Washington:** Me? Nothing.

 ** **Findor** : **No, you're acting really weird.

 **Washington:** I just want you all to know how much I appreciate you. _(brief pause)_ That's it.

 ** **Nirgge** : **You think we're going to fucking die!

 **Washington:** _(quickly)_ No, I don't!

 ** **Nirgge** : **No, you _do_ , you definitely _do_! You're getting all sentimental and shit!

 **Washington:** No, guys. Come on, you'll be fine! I've got total faith in you. You're some of the best solders I ever knew.

 ** ** **Findor**** : **What the fuck is that past tense bullshit!?

 **Washington:** Look, I just want you to know, I'm proud of you. I'm sure if you stick together, you'll be okay. What unit are you in?

 ** ** **Baraggan**** : **Volunteered for the front lines!

 **Washington:** Oh.

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **YOU WHAT?!

 ** ** **Findor****** : SARGE!

 **Washington:** Well, look on the bright side...

 ** ** **Nirgge**** : **You know, if you say that, you're supposed to follow it up with the bright side!

 **Washington:** I know.

 _Cut to the Blues and Dr. Odelschwanck at the Jungle Temple._

 **Epsilon:** A true warrior?

 **Nelliel:** Of physical strength and mental clarity.

 **Rey:** Well it's a good thing I'm here.

 **Carolina:** That's cute.

 ** **Rey** : **What? Obviously I'm a true warrior. Plus, I got the sword. That means I'm the chosen one.

 **Epsilon:** Finding a sword in a hole doesn't automatically make you an unstoppable badass.

 ** **Rey** : **Oh, why don't you tell that to the last alien temple I lit up!

 ** **Nelliel** : Rey** has a point. It's possible that merely carrying the sword through the portal will override the need to be strong and intelligent.

 ** **Rey** :** Yeah! Wait, I'm strong and intelligent.

 **Di-Roy:** Eh, you have your moments,

 **Epsilon:** Well, we're low on time and it's the best thing we've got.

 **Carolina:** Fine. Just... be careful.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Nothing to worry about baby. _(lights up the sword)_ I am a true motherfucking warrior.

 _Rey jumps into the portal screaming and is almost instantly thrown out of it, hitting a boulder._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(stands up)_ Whoa! What happened?

 **Epsilon:** Wow.

 **Carolina:** Apparently, you're not a true warrior.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Or maybe he's so good he passed the test super fast.

 ** **Nelliel** : **What did you see? Tell me about the other side. Did you make contact? Oh and how are you feeling?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(shakes head)_ I saw Grimmjow.

 **Carolina:** The mercenaries were already there?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Well, I don't think it was really him. He showed up, then another Grimmjow showed up. And the next thing I know there were a million fucking assholes all over me. Same thing with Locus, I couldn't fight them off!

 ** ** **Nelliel**** :** You weren't strong enough.

 **Carolina:** Well, I am. And I've been waiting for a rematch.

 _Flash cut to Carolina in more or less the same place Locus wound up in. She raises her rifle._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon, you seeing this. _(Epsilon doesn't respond)_ Epsilon?

 **Alien Voice:** WHO ARE YOU?

 **Carolina:** I'm your true warrior.

 _Suddenly, Tex walks out of a corner._

 **Tex:** Actually, that would be me.

 **Carolina:** Tex?

 **York:** Hey there, Carolina.

 _Carolina turns around, lowering her rifle. She's looking at all of her old Freelancer teammates: York, the Twins, Maine, Wyoming, C.T. and Florida. Cut to Carolina, outside the beam, talking with the rest._

 **Carolina:** I said I don't want to talk about it.

 **Epsilon:** Carolina, all I saw, when I went through was static. You gotta tell us more! You saw the Freelancers, then what happened? Was there crazy karate? Big gunfight?

 **Carolina:** No, there was no fighting. They just... look, it doesn't matter.

 **Rey:** See?! Not as easy as it looks, huh?

 **Carolina:** I will throw your ass _right back through that portal_ if you don't-

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **Okay, happy thoughts, _happy thoughts_.

 ** **Rey** :** Man, whatever.

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** : **We can't give up hope. The government spent ample time studying these relics and we've only been here a few hours!

 ** **Rey** :** Did they make any progress?

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** : **Actually they got fed up and abandoned all of their work. _(Cut to reveal a crate with a note saying "Will return in: FUCK YOU!")_

 ** **Rey** :** _(sarcastically)_ Great. Super inspiring.

 **Epsilon:** I just wish the inscriptions weren't so vague. True warrior? Mental clarity? What does that even mean?

 **Di-Roy:** Uh yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the opposite of false warrior. Duh.

 **Epsilon:** Di-Roy, not now.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yeah, I'm just saying we can at least cross that off the list. You know.

 **Carolina:** _(annoyed)_ Di-Roy.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **The false warrior. That is.

 **Everyone:** DI-ROY _!_

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Well excuse me for trying to help! I am going to go find the bathroom. _(walks away)_

 **Epsilon:** Jesus, that empty headed little... wait a minute. _Empty head._

 _They all look at each other._

 **Rey:** No way.

 _Flash cut to Di-Roy having entered the portal._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Hey, this isn't the bathroom.

 **Alien Voice:** WHO ARE YOU?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **I'm Di-Roy.

 **Alien Voice:** Hmm, you are not like the others.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yeah. I'm blue.

 **Alien Voice:** Your mind lacks fear. Doubt is non-existent. Completely absent of negativity.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **I'm sorry what you were saying something?

 **Alien Voice:** And your strength.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yeah. I have been told, that I am an excellent listener.

 **Alien Voice:** I've increased the gravity tenfold since you've arrived.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **What's a tenfold?

 **Alien Voice:** You... haven't noticed?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **What a tenfold is? You know I-I don't know you. You're the one who brought it up.

 **Alien Voice:** Hmm. Then it seems that you _(a red light matterializes in front of Di-Roy, taking the form of an alien)_ are a true warrior.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Neat.

 _Flash cut. Di-Roy returns to the temple._

 ** **Di-Roy** : **And we're back!

 **Carolina:** Di-Roy!

 **Nelliel:** Are you okay?

 **Epsilon:** What happened?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Ah, well ah yeah, I went to the bathroom and then I met an alien and we became friends and he told me everything about the universe and the meaning of life and then-

 **Rey:** Wait! An alien?

 _The alien A.I. appears behind Di-Roy._

 **Alien A.I.:** Greetings.

 _Everyone takes a step back, taken by surprise._

 **Epsilon, Nelliel and Rey:** Whoa!

 **Carolina:** Jesus!

 **Alien A.I.:** My apologies, but is there anyone else I could speak to? Perhaps someone with a broader vocabulary?

 **Carolina:** Who- What are you?

 **Epsilon:** He's an AI.

 **Alien A.I.:** Correct. I'm a construct left behind by my creators to ensure that their gifts are passed on only to those who are worthy.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yes. And that is why I have named him: Santa.

 **Carolina:** ...Santa.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Santa.

 **Rey:** Santa?

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yes. Santa.

 **Santa:** Santa.

 _A brief moment of silence occurs._

 **Epsilon:** _Santa_ , the alien AI construct.

 **Santa:** It is an honor to meet you, noble warriors. _(bows in front of the Blues and Dr. Odelschwanck)_


	47. Ep 47

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _You Better Watch Out!_

 _Fade in to Harribel and her assault team driving through unsettled territory in Warthogs and tanks._

 **Soldier:** ( _over radio_ ) General Harribel, we've just got word from the away team.

 _ **UNSETTLED TERRITORY**_

 **Harribel:** What's the news?

 **Soldier:** ( _over radio_ ) Well... apparently they found Santa.

 _All of the vehicles come to a halt. Cut to Dr. Odelschwanck, Rey, and Di-Roy at the Jungle Temple. Carolina approaches them._

 **Carolina:** Harribel's moving ahead with the assault. They should be reaching Alpha any minute.

 **Rey:** Then we gotta hurry.

 **Santa:** Are you sure there is no end to your questions?

 **Nelliel:** You have _no idea._

 **Epsilon:** Alright, let's not start foaming at the mouth here.

 ** **Nelliel** :** I can foam wherever I want, thank you very much!

 **Santa:** ( _clears throat_ ) The legacy of my creators is scattered throughout the galaxy. Their history, their technology, all left behind for future species to discover. This planet, the one you've claimed as Chorus, was one of great importance. It is here that they've kept some of their most valued treasures.

 ** **Rey** :** What kind of treasures we talking about? Like Indiana Jones Golden Island treasures? _(moans in annoyance)_ Or is it some stupid metaphorical stuff like _(mocking exposition tone)_ "The real treasure was friendship the whole time".

 **Santa:** My creators bequeathed many gifts and you will find each locked away within a temple. Rey Tiburon, you triggered the Temple of Arms. With its power you reactivated combat vehicles, weaponry and a myriad of other technological models from the time long past. These are merely a fraction of the gifts left behind by my creator.

 ** **Nelliel** :** That's _amazing!_

 ** **Rey** :** So then why'd you turn it off?

 **Santa:** I encountered an _anomaly_. The temples on this planet can only be activated with a key wielded by a true warrior. However, some time ago, one of my temples was _meddled_ with.

 **Carolina:** _(sarcastic)_ I wonder who _that_ could've been.

 **Di-Roy:** Probably Space Pirates.

 **Carolina:** I was being facetious.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Dude, making up words is not gonna make you sound smarter.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** :** FOCUS!

 **Santa:** The temple was designed to form a defensive barrier around the planet by manipulating gravity. The meddlers managed to circumvent my security measures and partially activated the temple, giving them moderate control over the planet's gravitational field.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Tell him how the elves are involved Santa.

 **Epsilon:** He's talking about the tractor beams.

 **Santa:** This act _should have_ been impossible without the Great Key. _(turns to Rey)_ Which brings me to _you._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Me?

 **Santa:** I sensed your Key's power at the Temple of Arms and allowed you to activate it, but when you did not respond in the voice of my people, protocol insisted I bring you here for further testing.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Sorry dude. The only language I speak, is American.

 **Carolina:** Weren't you an alien ambassador?

 **Rey:** I never said I was a _good_ ambassador.

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** :** But why test us if Rey already has the sword? Or key?

 **Santa:** Because my records state that the Great Key of _this_ planet has yet to be claimed.

 ** **Rey** :** Wait! There's _another_ key!?

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Of course! In case you lock one in your car! My God, they have one of _everything!_

 **Santa:** It lies in a mountain temple to the east. After the security failure I had to be sure that the presence of two keys was not an error in my programming. It is now clear to me, that although your key comes from another world, it was in fact forged by my creators, and is therefore acceptable.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Sweet! Then that means we can go back to our tower and turn it on.

 ** ** ** ** **Nelliel******** :** Alien weaponry for everyone!

 **Epsilon:** And you said that was only a fraction of the stuff that's here, right?

 **Santa:** Correct.

 **Carolina:** ...Well, not to sound greedy but...eh...

 **Epsilon:** ...What else you got?

 **Carolina:** Yeah.

 **Santa:** Hmm, there is the Temple of Weather Manipulation, Bountiful Harvest, Interior Decorating, Procreation, Communication...

 **Epsilon:** _(interrupts)_ Wait, what was that last one?

 **Santa:** Communication. Activating this temple will allow you to send a message to virtually any communication device in the galaxy.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** And what was the one before that?

 **Santa:** Procreation. Activating this temple will throw the inhabintants of Chorus into a ravenous sexual frenzy with the intent to increase a potentially dwindling population.

 **Carolina:** We... _won't_ be needing that one.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(chuckling)_ Well, let's not rule anything out.

 **Epsilon:** Yo! Alien dude!

 **Santa:** Santa.

 **Epsilon:** I _refuse_ to call you that. Look, we actually need to transmit a message to Earth but there's been a bunch of radio jammers keeping it from getting out. You think this temple thing will be strong enough to break through them?

 **Santa:** Without question.

 **Epsilon:** Well then, that's it! We don't need a full-on assault! We don't even need alien weapons! We just gotta activate that temple and call for help.

 **Carolina:** Then let's radio Harribel and get out of here.

 **Santa:** Wait! Before you leave, I must warn you. The gifts left behind by my creators are immensely powerful. If taken by those less worthy, the results could be catastrophic. Which is why my creators constructed _the Purge._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(sarcastically)_ That doesn't sound ominous at all.

 **Santa:** _(to Rey)_ As its bearer, the Great Key will remain bonded to _you_ and _you alone_ , until the time of your death. If you believe the inhabitants of this planet are not ready for my creators' gifts, activating the Purge will cleanse them.

 **Carolina:** And by "cleanse", you mean?

 **Santa:** All sentient life on Chorus will be exterminated.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Dude. Buzzkill.

 **Epsilon:** And... where exactly is this thing?

 **Santa:** Here. _(a red holographic map lights up with a dot pointing at the Purge's location, east of the Jungle Temple)_ I will also update all previously sent maps with temple locations.

 **Epsilon:** Thanks. Look, Carolina, we gotta... wait. What do you mean _"_ maps _"_?

 **Santa:** The maps that were sent to the temples.

 **Epsilon:** ... _All_ of the temples?

 **Santa:** ...Of course.

 **Epsilon:** ...Oh no.

 _Four Space Pirates suddenly show up behind them._

 **Epsilon:** Carolina!

 _The Space Pirates open fire, but stop and lower their rifles after a moment. The away team is covered by the Bubble Shield deployed by Carolina._

 **Di-Roy:** And _that_ was close.

 **Freckles:** Affirmative.

 **Nelliel:** _(frightened)_ Charon's here?

 **Epsilon:** Urgh, they've been here the whole time.

 **Edrad:** ( _off screen_ ) That's right.

 _The Blues and Nelliel look up. Edrad looks down on them from the ramp above. His Assault Rifle is painted with shark teeth and eyes._

 ** **Edrad** :** And now, thanks to you, we've got all the intel we need.

 **Rey:** What are you talking about?

 ** **Edrad** :** _(to his Space Pirate)_ As soon as their shield falls, open fire. Just leave the Freelancer alive for me. ( _turns around and starts to walk away_ )

 **Carolina:** _(mockingly)_ You really think four people are enough to stop us?

 ** **Edrad** :** _(turns to face Carolina)_ You're only safe for as long as that shield is up, then you've got no cover and a failing A.I. So yeah, I do.

 **Carolina:** ( _to Epsilon_ ) What is he talking about?

 ** **Edrad** :** Besides, the rest of our guys are prepping for your friends at Alpha.

 **Nelliel:** _(frightened)_ _What?!_

 ** **Edrad** :** I hope you said something meaningful the last time you saw them _(turns around and walks away)_ 'Cause you won't be seeing them again. ( _walks off_ )

 _Cut to Crash Site Alpha where numerous space pirates are seen._

 _ **CRASH SITE ALPHA**_

 _Tejano music is heard slowly getting louder._

 **Female Space Pirate:** ( _to partner_ ) Do you... hear something?

 _The two pirates face forward and spot the Reds rushing towards them in a Warthog. The Tejano is coming out of their Warthog._

 **Baraggan:** ( _yelling_ ) YEEE-HAAAWW!

 _The pirates raise their weapons in response._

 **Female Space Pirate:** Enemy sighted!

 _The Reds run over the pirates and come to a halt. Several Fed and Rebel troops drive past them and engage in battle._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Ya see! I told you the front line is where the action is! Ha ha!

 **Findor:** That's why we _didn't_ wanna be here!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Ah nonsense. ( _turns on radio_ ) This is Colonel Sarge. We have engaged the enemy! In for a short courtship of blood!

 **Harribel:** ( _over radio_ ) Copy that, Red leader! Good work.

 _Cut to Harribel fighting alongside a Rebel._

 ** **Harribel** :** All squads remember your sectors! We've got multiple towers to take down and numerous-

 _Suddenly, a large shadow casts over the sky, catching the attention of the assault team. The UNSC Tartarus then emerges from the sky. The Reds looks up at the ship._

 **Nirgge:** ...Oh fuck me...

 _Numerous space pirates then drop down from the Tartarus, using their equipped jetpacks to land safely._

 **Space Pirate:** Take 'em out!

 _The pirates open fire. Cut to Washington alongside Sung-sun, Dondochakka, Tesla, and Pesche._

 **Pesche:** ( _frightened_ ) Ahh! I-it-it's a trap! Why is it always a trap?!

 **Washington:** They're cutting off our escape!

 _Cut back to Harribel, taking cover. The rebel fighting by her side is killed._

 ** **Harribel** :** Where did they get more men?!

 **Grimmjow:** ( _over radio_ ) Come on Tia, give me a little credit. I was your right hand man for years.

 _Cut to Grimmjow and Locus fighting together._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** You really didn't think I'd see this coming?

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _over radio_ ) You bastar-!

 _Grimmjow cuts her off. Edrad soon contacts Locus and Grimmjow._

 **Edrad:** ( _over radio_ ) Locus, Grimmjow. I've got some news that's gonna make your day.

 **Locus:** ( _stands up_ ) Report.

 ** **Edrad** :** ( _over radio_ ) What if I told you I found a way to kill _everyone_ on Chorus with the turn of a key? ...And what if I told you I was heading to that key right now?

 ** **Grimmjow** :** I'd say you're gonna need backup.

 **Locus:** ( _crouches back down and fires Sniper Rifle_ ) Take a Pelican! I've got Alpha covered!

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** Right. ( _leaves_ )

 _Locus fires his sniper until Grimmjow radios him._

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** ( _over radio_ ) Oh, Locus.

 **Locus:** What?

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** ( _over radio_ ) When you kill Harribel, go ahead and do it quick. ...We were friends after all.

 _Locus stands up, reloads the Sniper Rifle and cloaks. Cut to the War Room in Armonia where two Fed Technicians are seen._

 _ **ARMONIA • WAR ROOM**_

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** ( _over radio_ ) Mayday! Mayday! This is Tia Harribel to Armonia! We need immediate ground support! Please respond! Over!

 _Patros approaches the Feds._

 **Patros:** What the devil is happening out there?

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **( _over radio_ ) Patros, god damn it, pick up the fucking radio!

 ** **Patros** :** Good Lord. ( _clears throat_ ) Uh, yes Harribel! What is it?

 ** ** **Harribel**** :** _(over radio)_ The whole thing was a set-up! Charon's got _way_ more men than we were led to believe! They've got a ship... They ambushed us!

 ** **Patros** :** Eh... there, there, now. I'm sure everything will be fine.

 ** ** ** **Harribel****** :** _(over radio) NO!_ It will _not_ be fine! Forget the Capital, I need you to round up as many troops as you can and send them our way. Don't need to keep quiet, just take the Pelicans and make sure you're out of range of tractor beams.

 ** ** **Patros**** :** Um, yes. Of course. _(starts to walk away)_

 **Carolina:** _(over radio)_ Patros, wait! Can you hear me?

 ** **Patros** :** _(stops)_ Agent Carolina?

 **Carolina:** _(over radio)_ I know Harribel needs those reinforcements, but we need them first.

 ** **Patros** : **_(walks back to the radio)_ I-I- I beg your pardon?

 **Carolina:** _(over radio)_ We're pinned down. I need you to send a squad to the mountains east of our location. Charon's already on their way there and we _have_ to beat them to it.

 ** ** ** ** **Harribel******** :** _(over radio)_ Carolina, what are you talking about? Beat them to _what_?

 **Carolina:** _(over radio)_ To a key that's going to end the world.

 _Patros and the technicians swap looks._

 ** ** **Patros**** :** _Right._ You're going to have to run that by me again.


	48. Ep 48

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Temple of the Key!_

 _Fade in to Crash Site Alpha. Two Feds - a Technician and a Soldier - are taking cover behind rocks and ship wreckage. There's a firefight ongoing around them._

 **Lap Fed:** Oh God, I'm hit!

 **Crash Site Fed:** Medic! We need a medic over here!

 _The Rebel Medic runs to them._

 **Rebel Medic:** I'm a medic! Calm down, soldier. Where are you hit?

 **Lap Fed:** Oh, those bastards got me. They got me right in the lap!

 **Rebel Medic:** Alright, ah... I'm sorry, what was that?

 **Lap Fed:** Urrgh, the _lap!_ I was shot in the lap!

 **Rebel Medic:** So, like your upper thigh?

 **Crash Site Fed:** Didn't you hear him? He said _HIS LAP!_

 **Lap Fed:** Oh God, my lap!

 **Rebel Medic:** It's just that that's not really proper anatomical-

 **Crash Site Fed:** _(interrupts)_ Well, _excuse_ my friend here for not being a _certified medical genius!_

 **Lap Fed:** Ungh, come on, lady! I need some slack, I'm bleeding out here!

 **Rebel Medic:** Um, right. Sorry. Are you hit anywhere else?

 **Lap Fed:** Uh, my tummy!

 **Crash Site Fed:** They got'im right in the tummy.

 **Rebel Medic:** _(sighs)_ This is gonna be a long day.

 _The Reds drive past in their Warthog. Cut to the Reds, Nirgge stops the Warthog._

 **Baraggan:** Findor! Status report!

 **Findor:** We're completely surrounded, _severely_ unprepared and reinforcements aren't coming _any time soon!_

 ** **Baraggan** :** _(climbs out of the Hog)_ Excellent news!

 **Nirgge:** Excellent?!

 ** **Baraggan** :** I was beginning to worry this wasn't gonna be much of a fight! But ya gotta hand it to those villains, _always_ one step ahead. _(chuckles)_ You can learn a thing or two from them, Findor.

 ** **Findor** :** I'll be sure to keep that in mind if we survive, sir.

 _Nirgge hops out of the warthog._

 ** **Nirgge** :** _(mockingly)_ Any bright ideas, _Colonel?_

 ** **Baraggan** :** The way I see it, we'll punch through the Pirates' defenses with an adrenaline-fueled slow-motion car crash! Thus creating an opening for us to escape _and_ allowing me to scratch one more thing off my "fuck it"-list.

 ** **Nirgge** :** How do you just _make_ something slow-motion?

 ** **Baraggan** :** If it's epic enough, _life finds a way_.

 ** **Findor** :** Love the enthusiasm! It's great, sir. Really. But don't you think we could try something, that won't get my head blown off?

 ** **Baraggan** :** You could always switch seats with Nirgge.

 ** **Findor** :** Done.

 ** **Nirgge** :** _(gets in the Hog)_ Screw this! We're regrouping with Wash!

 ** **Baraggan** :** _(climbs in, while Nirgge drives off)_ You just always have to suck the joy out of everything don't ya?

 _Cut to the Jungle Temple. The away team is still safe inside the Bubble Shield. The four Pirates are standing by, guns raised, in case the shield drops._

 **Rey:** So... any ideas?

 **Carolina:** _(quietly)_ Epsilon, prep the Speed Booster, then drop the shield on my mark.

 **Epsilon:** That's _not_ going to work!

 **Carolina:** My leg's _fine._ I can take it.

 **Epsilon:** _It won't work!_ Just think of something else before we run out of power. _(disappears)_

 ** **Rey** :** _(to Santa)_ Yo, Kringle! These guys are gonna kill us if you don't throw down some alien magic and _help!_

 **Santa:** It is not my place to meddle with human affairs. _(disappears)_

 ** **Rey** :** Aaargh! Fuckin' cop-out!

 **Nelliel:** Quick! Everyone, into the portal!

 **Carolina:** It just leads to the testing grounds, we'll be tossed back out.

 ** **Nelliel** :** Not all of us. Di-Roy could- oh, Di-Roy!

 **Di-Roy:** Hello!

 ** **Nelliel** :** I need you to hold on to Freckles as tight as you can.

 ** **Di-Roy** :** Ah! Yeah, right, I do that all the time anyway. It's how I show affection.

 ** **Rey** :** His guinea pig never stood a chance. Rest in peace, Mr. Frittles.

 ** **Nelliel** :** As soon as I'm gone, drop the shield.

 **Carolina:** Where are you going!?

 **Space Pirate 1:** Whaaaat's she up to?

 **Rey:** Yeah, kinda with the Pirates on this. What exactly are you doing?

 **Nelliel:** Well, if I _explain_ it, they'll hear me!

 **Space Pirate 2:** No we won't! Our hearing is terrible!

 **Nianzol:** Yeah, we didn't even hear _that._

 **Space Pirate 2:** _(whispering)_ Shut up, Nianzol!

 ** **Nelliel** :** Please. Just trust me!

 **Carolina:** _(sighs)_ Skullak-

 **Epsilon:** I'm losing it! Don't have much of a choice here!

 **Carolina:** Alright.

 ** **Nelliel** :** Freckles! Run command _"Aimbot"!_ _(jumps into the gateway)_

 _The flash when Nelliel teleports blinds the Pirates. The shield drops and Freckles quickly guns down all four Pirates, before deactivating the command._

 **Di-Roy:** Okay um, _that_ was not actually my fault.

 **Freckles:** Hostiles eliminated.

 **Rey:** Dayamn! If we put Skullak inside a gun, you think he could do that?

 **Epsilon:** _(appears beside Rey, his image flickers and distorts for a moment)_ Don't even think about it.

 _A flash and Nelliel's back._

 ** ** **Nelliel**** :** Oh goodie, you're alive.

 **Carolina:** Huh, guess she really is the smartest person on the planet.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** :** Oh stop, I'm not _that_ great! I mean, the Aimbot function only works like half the time, so it was really just a coin toss.

 **Epsilon:** _Wow_ , you _really_ need to know when to stop talking.

 **D520:** _(over radio)_ Agent Carolina, this is Pelican _Delta Five Two Zero_. We are approaching your position. Prep your team for evac, over.

 **Carolina:** What? No! I told Patros to send troops to the mountain temple first.

 **D520:** _(over radio)_ ...He did, ma'am.

 _Cut to a Pelican landing near Edrad and his Falcon. Grimmjow and 5 Space Pirates exit the Pelican, Edrad joins them._

 _ **EASTERN MOUNTAIN RANGE**_

 **Edrad:** This is as close as I could land. Temple's at the summit.

 **Grimmjow:** Any sign of the enemy?

 ** **Edrad** :** Visually no, but this place is messing with targeting equipment.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Then let's get this over with. _(turns to the Pirates)_ Fan out and form a perimeter! _(turns back to Edrad)_ Don't wanna miss all the fun back at Alpha.

 _Pan to show the temple in the distance. Cut to Grimmjow, Edrad and a space pirate walking on a bridge to the temple._

 _ **TEMPLE OF THE KEY**_

 ** **Edrad** :** This is it.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(sarcastically)_ Oh good. You know, I really wasn't sure, until you said that. Why don't you put those _amazing_ powers of observation to use and stand guard, okay? Okay. _(walks into the temple)_

 ** **Edrad** :** ...Is he always like that?

 **Space Pirate 3:** You just kinda learn to tune it out.

 _Cut to Grimmjow walking inside the Temple._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Hey, Freddy Krueger! There's nothin' in here! Do we gotta do something? Say the magic words? Sacrifice, like... a goat?

 _A large avatar of Santa appears behind Grimmjow._

 **Santa:** You are too late.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(turns around, gun raised)_ Whoa! What!? What do you mean _"too late"_?! Where's the sword?

 **Santa:** It has already been claimed by another. _(disappears)_

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(lowers DMR)_ _No._

 _Cut to reveal... Patros with the Chorus Key running out of the temple._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(off screen)_ _GODDAMNIT!_

 **Patros:** _(looks behind himself)_ Eh, oh Lord. Of all the people on this planet, why am _I the only one down with this bloody thing?!_

 **Charlotte:** _(over radio)_ Duh, because all your other men are flying to Harribel and Carolina.

 _Cut to Charlotte and Dordoni piloting a Pelican high up in the clouds above the mountain._

 ** **Charlotte** :** Besides, you've got the best camouflage out of all of us.

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio and yelling)_ Just send them back around and PICK ME UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!

 **Dordoni:** [The temple is still intefering with our controls.]

 _Cut back to Patros, with Dordoni on the comms._

 ** **Dordoni** :** _(over radio)_ [We'll have to land farther away.]

 ** ** **Charlotte**** :** _(over radio)_ Good point, Dordoni. You get that, General?

 ** **Patros** :** What!? No! I _no hablo espanol!_

 **Grimmjow:** _(off screen)_ They're here! Spread out and find them **now**!

 ** **Patros** :** _(whimpers)_ Just hurry! _(runs away downhill into the valley)_

 _Cut to the Reds with Wash and Harribel hiding in the wreckage of the ship they came to Chorus with._

 **Baraggan:** _(speaking in slow-motion)_ _Dirtbag!_ ( _makes an explosion sound, then starts speaking normally_ ) So, that's a plan. Whaddya all think?

 _ **CRASH SITE ALPHA • SHIP WRECK**_

 **Washington:** ...How do you just _make_ something slow-motion?

 **Harribel:** We're losing men here! I need to start hearing some _serious_ solutions and I need them now!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Who said I wasn't serious?

 **Findor:** This ship still has a few pieces intact. If we could find one its engines and get it online, we might have a chance to escape.

 **Nirgge:** Oh dude! Are you gonna _fly us_ out of here?

 ** **Findor** :** What? No, are you stupid?! Assuming the engines are as fucked as I think they are, I should be able to make us a smokescreen big enough to cover our escape.

 ** **Harribel** :** That's a start. Red Team, you and Wash take charge on this, let me know when you're ready. _(walks away)_

 **Washington:** Can do.

 ** **Nirgge** :** Ehh, flying out would be a lot cooler.

 _Tesla appears by the wreck._

 **Tesla:** Well, if it's an _engine_ you're looking for...

 _Cut to reveal the Lieutenants._

 ** **Tesla** :** ... _I_ just happen to know where to find one.

 **Sung-sun:** And _I_ just happen to know how to work it.

 **Pesche:** And _I_... am also here _and_... would like to contribute to the conversation.

 **Washington:** Then let's get to work.

 **Dondochakka:** Look, I-I hate to be "that guy"-

 ** ** **Nirgge**** :** _(interrupts)_ No you don't.

 ** **Dondochakka** :** _But_ the area is getting hit hard. Sniper fire's coming out of nowhere.

 **Washington:** You leave that to me.

 _Cut to the away team at the Temple of the Key._

 _ **TEMPLE OF THE KEY**_

 **Carolina:** General Patros, we've dropped in at your position. Pelicans are looking for a safe LZ. Where are you? Over.

 **Patros:** _(almost whispering)_ I'm in a snowy area.

 **Carolina:** Gonna have to be a _little_ more specific, sir.

 ** **Patros** :** _(still whispering)_ Now _isn't_ exactly a good time.

 _Cut to Patros hiding behind a rock. Grimmjow stops by, looking around, DMR raised._

 **Grimmjow:** Come on out, you prick.

 _Patros shuts down his radio._

 **Carolina:** Damn it! We need to find him.

 **Rey:** If we split up, we can cover more ground.

 **Epsilon:** _(appears nect to Rey)_ Okay, Scooby. Let's not make it too easy for the bad guys.

 **Carolina:** _(cocks BR)_ _Skullak_ _!_

 _Carolina is aiming her gun at someone up at the ledge next to them: Edrad Liones._

 **Di-Roy:** Jinkies! It's Sharkface!

 ** **Rey** :** Di-Roy, if you're gonna give him a nickname, don't make it _that_ stupid.

 **Edrad:** I underestimated you.

 **Carolina:** We get that a lot.

 _Carolina fires, but Edrad uses a Hardlight Shield to block the bullets._

 ** **Edrad** :** Seems we're both looking for the same man. Bet you I'll find him first! _(speeds off)_

 **Carolina:** In your dreams. _(runs after Edrad)_

 **Epsilon:** HEY! WAIT! _(disappears)_

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Hey, where are you going?!

 **Carolina:** _(sprinting)_ Split up and cover more ground!

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Oh, so when it's _her_ idea, it's a good thing.

 **Nelliel:** I wouldn't be too sure.

 **Freckles:** Hostiles detected.

 _Pan to show two Pirates with BRs on a snowy ledge above the team. The guns click._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** RUN!

 _Rey, Di-Roy and Nelliel run from gunfire._

 ** **Nelliel** :** In here!

 _They run into an ice cave and stop there._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Whew! Think we lost'em?

 _An eerie voice is heard making ghost noises, with an echo._

 ** **Nelliel** :** _(frightened)_ What was that!?

 _The voice moans again._

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Oh, man! Don't tell me it's alien zombies or something!

 **Di-Roy:** Ugh, I know! It's like zombies are super played out.

 _The eerie voice moans once again._

 **Freckles:** Friendly heat signature detected.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Friendly!?

 **Szayel:** _(laughs happily and shows up right behind Rey)_ _Thank God!_

 _Rey and Nelliel shriek and step back._

 **Di-Roy:** It's Doc.

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Doc?!

 ** **Szayel** :** _Oh, Rey! Di-Roy!_ It's so good to see you! It was horrible! Nirgge threw that future cube, and I was teleported away to some foreign place; another dimension where time and space _refuted_ all logic as we know it! A place where I drifted for what seemed like an eternity! And after a while, _I lost my mind!_ Then I found it! Then I lost it again. Oh, but it was the thought of you all _tirelessly_ searching for a way to bring me back that kept me going all that time. _And look! Look_ how my faith in my friends has been rewarded! Oh, I _love_ you guys!

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** ...Wait... you were gone?

 ** **Szayel** :** I... well, _yes!_ Wha-why are you asking?!

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Since when?

 ** **Szayel** :** Since when! _Since the canyon!_

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** ...Really?!

 ** **Szayel** :** _Yes!_

 **Di-Roy:** _(Rey and Di-Roy swap looks)_...Yeah, I don't remember that.

 ** **Szayel** :** _WHAT?!_

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Hey, Sarge.

 **Baraggan:** _(over radio)_ Whaddya want, blue?

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** Do you remember teleporting Doc back in the canyon?

 _Cut to Baraggan with the Reds at the shipwreck._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Doc? Nah, he's been with us! I think, or wait. Was he with you?

 ** ** ** ** **Rey******** :** _(over radio)_ We found him in a cave! Says he was in _another dimension_.

 ** **Baraggan** :** That doesn't sound right at all. _(turns to Findor and Nirgge)_ Nirgge! Findor! You remember sending Doc to another dimension?

 **Findor:** Who?

 ** **Baraggan** :** Doc! The purple guy!

 **Nirgge:** Doc... _(swaps looks with Findor)_ ...Oh, yeah! I guess we _did_ do that!

 _Cut to Rey, Di-Roy, Nelliel and Szayel._

 **Rey:** Yeah, I totally forgot too.

 ** **Findor** :** Huh, I guess he's just got one of those faces, you know? Like _really_ forgettable.

 ** **Rey** :** Totally. Alright, we'll talk to you guys later!

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** _(over radio)_ Try not to die!

 ** **Rey** :** You too! _(turns off radio and turns to Szayel)_ Man, I guess we just never noticed you were gone. Crazy, huh?

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** Huh, crazy. _(starts chuckling)_ Crazy? _(starts laughing)_ Crazy?!

 _Doc starts laughing madly, lapsing into Omega-esque maniacal laughter. Di-Roy starts laughing in a mock evil way too after a moment._

 ** ** **Szayel**** :** _(in Omega manner)_ You incompetent fools! You will all _taste **OBLIVION!**_

 _Szayel suddenly tackles Rey and starts beating him up, still laughing like when he was possessed by Omega. Di-Roy is still laughing. Rey groans with every punch._

 **Nelliel:** Em... should we... _do_ something?

 **Di-Roy:** (still laughs, briefly pausing) Oh no, he's a friend. _(resumes laughing)_

 **Rey** : Ow, my insides- ! _(interrupted bySzayel's punch, Di-Roy still laughs for a moment)_

 **Well, be got Szayel back only for him to lose his mind, like it wasn't lose before.** _  
_


	49. Ep 49

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Dish Best Served!_

 _Edrad jumps over the hilltop and slides down the mountainside. When he reaches the plateau at the frozen lake he starts running and turns around to look behind him._

 **Edrad:** Huh?

 _He sees Carolina, who jumps at him and delivers a straight punch to his face. Edrad reels from the punch, when Carolina somersaults and makes a butterfly kick downwards onto his head again and then kicks him back into a pile of snow, where he is knocked down. Cut to Carolina in a fighting pose._

 **Carolina:** Heh, still got it.

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Yeah, congratulations. _Now_ , can we get back to the thing we _came here for?_

 **Carolina:** _(turns around and starts to walk away)_ I had to make sure he wasn't a threat.

 **Epsilon:** Having to stroke your own ego is more like it.

 **Carolina:** Oh, please. Like you're one to talk!

 _Suddenly Edrad appears behind Carolina, takes her Battle Rifle and kicks her onto the ground. Her Magnum also drops from her. She turns to face Edrad._

 **Epsilon:** What the hell?!

 ** **Edrad** :** You're very efficient at administrating pain, Carolina. _(kicks away the Magnum as he speaks)_ But pain is something I've learned to live with.

 _Edrad throws away Carolina's rifle. It slides a little on the ice, until stopping. Cut to Crash Site Alpha. A Rebel is firing from cover._

 **Fed:** Incoming! _(slides into the cover)_

 **Rebel:** Hey, whoa whoa whoa! What do you think you're doing?

 **Fed:** What?

 **Rebel:** You go find your own cover! This is mine!

 **Fed:** No way! We can share it!

 **Rebel:** _(stands up)_ Over my dead body! _(a sniper bullet to the head kills him)_

 **Fed:** _(melodically) Irony._

 _Cut to a cloaked Locus reloading his sniper rifle._

 **Tower 2 Pirate:** _(over radio)_ Tower 2 here. We're picking up enemy aircraft on our radar. Looks like they're staying out of range.

 **Locus:** Hold position. By the time reinforcements arrive _(cut to view from Locus' sniper scope viewing the battlefield)_ there'll be noone left for them to save. _(starts aiming for Sung-sun and Pesche shooting from behind a boulder)_

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ You really should've killed when you had the chance, Locus.

 **Tower 2 Pirate:** Who's that?

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ I know you can hear me. I made sure this was broadcasting on all open channels.

 **Locus:** _(walks toward the cliff face of his sniper nest)_ Reckless behavior, even for you.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ I guess I'm just full of disappointments. You know, I've been thinking about the last time we met. _The questions you asked me._

 **Locus:** We're _past_ the point of talk, Agent Washington. Goodbye.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ I'm at the southwest side of the crash site. _(Locus looks through the scope and suddenly sees Wash's helmet pop up from behind cover)_ You still don't feel like talking?

 **Locus:** _(shoots)_ No.

 _Cut to Washington picking up his helmet, which was attached to the end of his Battle Rifle. He puts the helmet on._

 **Washington:** _Please_ tell me you caught the vapor trail on that shot.

 _Cut to Tesla and_ _Dondochakka behind cover, watching over the situation._

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ He's not gonna fall for the same trick twice.

 **Dondochakka:** Oh, we got him.

 **Tesla:** _(he and_ _ _Dondochakka_ stand up)_ Open fire!

 _The two start to shoot, until they hit Locus, disarming him and decloaking him as well. Locus runs down from his sniping spot to cover._

 ** **Dondochakka** :** Woohoo! Eat a dick, you Predator knock-off!

 ** **Tesla** :** Sung-sun, status report.

 _Cut to Sung-sun and Pesche at the engines. Pesche is providing cover fire for Sung-sun._

 **Sung-sun:** Engines all set and ready for smokescreen. Thanks for the cover, guys!

 **Pesche:** Hey, what about me?

 ** **Sung-sun** :** You would've made an excellent human shield, Pesche.

 ** **Pesche** :** Thank you.

 _Cut to Harribel and the Reds inside the ship wreck._

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ You guys get that?

 **Baraggan:** Loud and clear!

 **Harribel:** ( _to Reds_ ) You sure this will work?

 **Findor:** Oh god, no!

 **Nirgge:** Well, it's better than getting shot I guess. ...Or is it? Wait, what happens if this doesn't work?

 ** **Findor** :** ( _nonchalant_ ) We explode.

 ** **Harribel** :** ( _sarcastically_ ) Great. ( _walks towards a group of Feds and Rebels firing_ ) Everybody listen up! ( _the soldiers cease fire and turn to Harribel_ ) We're making our move!

 _Cut to the outside of the ship. The engine releases a large smokesceen, shrouding the entire battlefield in smoke. Locus regroups with two space pirates firing their weapons._

 **Locus:** Form a perimeter, and hold the line.

 _Cut to two pirates looking aimlessly within the smoke._

 **Space Pirate 1:** God damn it, I can't see shit.

 _A Warthog with Baraggan, Fidnor, and Nirgge appears out of the smoke... in slow motion. They hit three Space Pirates, with a Rocket Hog and another Warthog following them._

 ** **Baraggan** :** Life finds a way!

 _Cut to Locus accompanied by two space pirates._

 **Space Pirate 2:** They broke through the line, sir! Should we follow?

 _Short pause_

 **Locus:** No. Their reinforcements will be waiting. Stand down.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ All that time we were with the Feds, I knew you were watching me, making sure I wasn't a threat.

 _Cut to Wash sitting in the shotgun seat of a fleeing warthog, speaking to Locus via radio._

 **Washington:** Which was why I took the time to watch you. You know, you might see our similarities, Locus.

 _Cut back to Locus._

 **Washington:** ( _over radio_ ) But you still can't see that between the two of us, that I'm the soldier, and you're just a a killer.

 **Locus:** _(to Space Pirate 2)_ I need a vehicle.

 _Cut to Szayel pummeling Rey at the Eastern Mountain Range. Nelliel and Di-roy are seen behind them. Rey yells "Ow!" after every one of Szayel's punches. Szayel still speaks in Omega's voice._

 **Szayel:** And take this! And that! And then take two of this! And call my other personality in the morning! ( _laughs maniacally_ )

 **Nelliel:** ( _to Di-Roy_ ) And you say he's a... medic?

 **Di-Roy:** Yep. And a pacifier.

 **Rey:** ( _while being punched by Szayel_ ) Pacifist. ( _continues saying "Ow" as Szayel punches him_ )

 ** **Di-Roy** : **( _to Nelliel_ ) Yeah, but sometimes he gets really weird and calls himself "O'Malley" and tries to destroy the world. Yeah it's like an inside joke.

 ** **Nelliel** :** You are, without question, the most _fascinating_ group of individuals I have ever had the pleasure of meeting!

 ** **Rey** :** ( _yelling in pain_ ) I'M DYING! ( _yells in pain_ )

 ** **Nelliel** :** Oh, great!

 _Nelliel rushes towards Szayel and knocks him off of Rey._

 ** **Szayel** :** Ugh! The back of my head!

 ** **Rey** :** ( _gets up_ ) Ugh! You couldn't have done that _any_ sooner?!

 ** ** **Nelliel**** :** Oh calm down. You've got a medic to patch you up later.

 ** **Rey** :** Calm down? Calm down?! Carolina and Skullak are gone, Patros is still missing and now we've got Dr. Evil ready to _beat us to death_ as soon as he wakes up! So if we don't find this stupid sword and get out of here in the next five minutes, ( _screams_ ) I'm going to have a god damn heart attack!

 ** **Di-Roy** :** _(turning to his right)_ Oh well, maybe those guys have seen it.

 _Cut to the two Pirates that were shooting at them earlier. One of them reloads his rifle._

 ** **Rey** :** Oh, give me a fucking break!

 _The Pirates prepare to fire, but are suddenly shot from behind by Charlotte and Dordoni._

 **Charlotte:** Boo-yah! Consider yourselves penetrated!

 **Dordoni:** [I think you meant perforated.]

 ** **Charlotte** :** Thanks, Dordoni! I do live la vida loca.

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** :** Well, there you go.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** I honestly don't know if this is better or worse.

 ** ** ** **Nelliel****** :** You all go find General Patros. I'll stay here and make sure your medic friend is okay.

 ** ** **Rey**** :** Sounds good. _(walks away)_ Come on, let's go!

 _Di-Roy and Dordoni go with Rey, Charlotte meanwhile spots Szayel lying on the ground._

 ** **Charlotte** :** Hey, is that Doc?

 ** ** **Rey**** :** _(off screen)_ Yep!

 ** **Charlotte** :** Huh, feels like I haven't seen him in ages! Weird. _(follows the others)_

 _Cut back to Edrad and Carolina fighting. Edrad makes a roundhouse kick, but Carolina ducks under his leg. When he turns around, she rapidly punches him in quick succession, but Edrad blocks all three punches. She then jumps and punches him in the head, ending the combo. Edrad reels from the punch, but quickly gets back to Carolina. Carolina then spins, ramming her arms into him, but he blocks the volley with his arm and then elbows her in the face. Carolina makes a flying reverse roundhouse kick, but Edrad ducks and punts her away. He then rams his arm into her, but Carolina twists it around, smacks Edrad in the throat, grabs the other arm, elbows his face and then twists his arm, audibly dislocating it, ending with a kick in the back sending Edrad on the ground. Edrad also loses his Assault Rifle in the process._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon, BioScan.

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Shoulder's dislocated. Guy's a pincushion, he's got plates and staples all over his body.

 **Carolina:** Weak points?

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) More like reinforcements.

 _Edrad is slowly trying to get up amidst Skullak's scan. By now, he's back up._

 **Edrad:** _(stands up)_ You Freelancers love your gadgets. But it's a step in the right direction _(audibly relocates his shoulder back into its socket)_

 **Carolina:** Who are you?

 ** **Edrad** :** Your past come back to haunt you.

 _Carolina lunges at him, but he preemptively kicks her leg down and punches her in the head. He follows up with ramming his fist on her shoulder, a punch to the chest and a backhanded punch to the face and a follow-up straight punch also to her face. He tries punching her again, but Carolina blocks the punch with her arms crossed._

 **Carolina:** What did _I_ ever do to _you?!_

 ** **Edrad** :** You still don't know?

 _Carolina tries twisting his arms, but Edrad grabs her by the neck._

 ** **Edrad** :** Let me jog your memory.

 _A hiss is heard, then something pops out from under Edrad's gauntlet: a miniature flamethrower, which activates; Carolina dodges, with it narrowly missing Carolina's head. Edrad kicks her in the gut, pushing her away._

 ** **Edrad** :** You're gonna _burn_ for what you did to me, Carolina!

 **Carolina:** You were at the vault the day of the heist. Part of the Resistance.

 **Epsilon:** _(voice only)_ He was _what?!_

 ** **Edrad** :** That's right! So now you understand why you have to die. _(activates the flamethrower in his other gauntlet)_

 _Edrad lashes out with his arm, sending a wave of flame, but Carolina locks his arm and jams the flamethrower, stopping it from firing. He tries to fry her with the other arm, but she blocks it the same way. Edrad then attempts to lock in a swift punch but Carolina blocks it and rams her wrist into Edrad's head. Edrad lashes out again and attempts to incinerate Carolina, but she locks his flamethrower shut, shoves her foot onto Edrad's chest and kicks him away onto the frozen lake, performing a back flip in the process._

 _As Edrad plops onto the center of the lake Carolina jumps on top of him, slightly cracking the ice, and delivers a quick punch. Edrad then elbows the ice, causing it to crack more. Carolina delivers another punch and Edrad elbows the ice again, cracking it further. The sound of the crack heightens, alerting Carolina, who looks around and notices more cracks forming. Edrad then uses both elbows to fully crack the lake, causing him to fall into the tunnel below. Carolina catches the edge of the lake, but Edrad pulls out a grappling hook and connects it to Carolina's ankle._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) What the fuck is with this guy?!

 _Carolina tries to pull herself back up but is pulled down into the cave, hitting a few cliffs on her way down. Carolina and Edrad then slide around inside the cave, with Carolina managing to disconnect the grappling hook from her ankle. She then jumps on top of Edrad, smacks the grappler out of his hand and begins to punch to him. As the two slide towards a pillar, Carolina hops off of Edrad and the two proceed to dodge several pillars scattered around them. Edrad pulls out his pistol and fires at Carolina, but the bullets deflect on the pillars. He then kicks himself off of a pillar in order to get closer to Carolina. The two are then seen side by side, in which Edrad fires at Carolina, but realizes he is out of bullets._

 ** **Edrad** :** Huh?

 _Carolina then slide-smashes into Edrad, slowing down his momentum. She then begins sliding her way closer to the exit._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon, I need armor enhancements!

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Which one?

 _Carolina looks back, Edrad is right behind her. Edrad finally reloads his pistol_.

 **Carolina:** ( _off screen_ ) All of them!

 _Edrad fires at Carolina again. Carolina slides out of the cave and activates her bubble shield while in midair, with the bullets ricocheting off the shield. Carolina then deactivates her shield just before landing on the ground below. She then activates her adaptive camoflauge and jumps towards the cave exit using her speed boost, just as Edrad is exiting. She catches Edrad in midair and smashes him into the mountain wall, trapping him. She punches him but Edrad kicks her off. Carolina hits the ground._

 **Epsilon:** ( _appears next to Carolina_ ) Carolina, you okay?

 **Carolina:** ( _slowly stands up_ ) Just run the Healing Unit.

 **Epsilon:** That's a lot for me to handle!

 **Carolina:** We've almost got him!

 _The two look back at Edrad, who manages to free himself from the wall. He lands onto the ground below across from Carolina and Epsilon._

 ** **Edrad** :** No, this where I get _you_.

 _Edrad pulls out two frag grenades, clips them, and tosses them high into the air. He then gets in ready position, throws back his arms and pulls out his flamethrowers from his wrist plates._

 **Epsilon:** Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

 _The two frags explode above, causing an avalanche. Edrad activates his flamethrowers and propels himself straight towards Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** RUN! ( _disappears_ )

 _Carolina dashes off down the mountain. She looks back; Edrad is gaining on her._

 **Carolina:** Gotta go faster!

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) We're running out of mountain!

 **Carolina:** What?!

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Drop coming, but if you jump, there's a lake at the bottom.

 **Carolina:** No, we can do it! We hit him again and end this!

 _Carolina spins around and readies herself for the approaching Edrad._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Wait! STOP!

 _Time freezes. Epsilon appears next to a "motionless" Carolina._

 **Epsilon:** Theta, send all power to her legs and stabilizers!

 **Epsilon-Theta:** ( _appears_ ) I'm trying!

 _Epsilon-Delta then appears on command._

 **Epsilon:** Delta, prioritize the-

 _Delta's avatar begins to flicker and distort._

 **Epsilon:** Delta?

 _Delta's avatar continues to flicker, until it shatters._

 **Epsilon-Theta:** ( _off screen_ ) It's too much!

 _Epsilon turns to face Theta. Theta too is distorted._

 **Epsilon-Theta:** What do we do?! _(his image distorts and then Theta's avatar shatters too)_

 _Epsilon looks over the situation, helpless. His image flickering and distorting._

 **Epsilon:** ...I don't know.

 _Epsilon distorts a little more and then his avatar shatters too. Carolina's armor equipment completely shuts down. Time speeds back up to normal. Carolina trips, tumbles and slides, roaring, and then falls off the edge of the cliff. She falls through several trees and eventually lands in the forest below the cliff, while rocks fall all around her. When it's all over, Edrad looks down from the cliff, then turns around and walks away._


	50. Ep 50

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Off - Key!_

 _General Patros, still carrying the Great Key of Chorus, is seen running until he reaches a very steep cliff ledge. He stops just short of the edge._

 **Patros** : ( _panting_ ) OHHH, dear!

 _Grimmjow shows up behind him._

 **Grimmjow** : _(chuckling)_ End of the line, General.

 **Patros** : I wouldn't advise pointing that weapon at me; ( _turns to face Grimmjow and holds the sword over the edge of the cliff_ ) I _am_ prone to fainting after all!

 **Grimmjow** : ( _lowers weapon_ ) Oh? Very bold... but a coward doesn't put his life on the line like that. And you _are_ a coward , Patros Parros.

 **Patros** : Shoot me, and you lose the Sword!

 **Grimmjow** : You're bluffing.

 **Patros** : You can't take that chance.

 _Grimmjow slowly walks forward, weapon raised._

 **Grimmjow** : I _can_ if it's a sure thing.

 **Patros** : STAY BACK!

 **Grimmjow** : Give me the sword.

 **Patros** : FINE! ...Fine... ( _turns off the Sword_ ) You can have it... ( _throws the Sword into the air, off the cliff_ ) AH! HA!

 **Grimmjow** : NO!

 _Patros runs away from the cliff while Grimmjow runs forward. He leaps onto the cliff edge, barely catching the Sword in his left hand._

 **Grimmjow** : Gotcha!

 _Cut to Di-Rot, Rey, Charlotte, and Dordoni running to General Patros's position._

 **Rey** : There he is!

 **Patros** : ( _yelling_ ) He has the Sword!

 **Rey** : What?! ( _looks up to where Grimmjow is on the cliff_ ) Oh, shit!

 _The Reds and Blues present take aim and fire at Grimmjow. Grimmjow brings up his lightshield and deflects the shots._

 **Grimmjow** : Well look who it is; Rey Tiburon, and his other less important but equally annoying friends.

 _Cut back to the group._

 **Di-Roy** : ( _shouting_ ) No one steals from the North Pole and gets away with it!

 **Charlotte** : I don't really see how that's relevant, but I agree!

 **Rey** : Hand over the Sword, Grimmjow!

 _Cut to a shot from behind Grimmjow, as he holsters the Sword on his magnetic hardpoint._

 **Grimmjow** : Oh, now I think I am going to keep that right here.

 **Rey** : Dude, you're surrounded! You've got nowhere to go!

 **Grimmjow** : Then come get me. ( _stands his ground, Hard light shield still up_ ).

 _Cut to Rey, who doesn't move, still pointing his weapon at Grimmjow._

 **Grimmjow** : Oh... not so tough after all, huh? I guess without your big bad, Freelancer buddies, you can't really _do_ much, can you?

 **Rey** : We've outsmarted you!

 **Grimmjow** : Oh, I'm well aware of that, Rey. You see, not many people get the best of me. ( _Cut to a wide view of the cliff Grimjow is on as Locus ascends from beneath the cliff in a Falcon, facing the Reds and Blues with Patros_ ) But no one gets the best of me and lives to tell about it.

 **Di-Roy** : Ohhh, that's- that's bad.

 **Freckles** : Affirmative!

 **Patros** : He was stalling!

 **Rey** : Ya think?!

 _Locus fires the ship's cannons on the Reds and Blues and Patros, who take cover behind some rock outcroppings nearby. Grimmjow gets on the fighter._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _sighs_ ) And you say I talk too much.

 **Locus** : You do.

 _Locus flies away from the scene, Grimmjow on board with the Sword._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _yelling back at the group as he flies away_ ) Ha, ha, ha, Sayonara, losers!

 _Cut back to Patros and the Reds and Blues._

 **Patros** : You have to stop them! He's going to use that Sword to kill us all!

 **Rey** : Chill out, I don't think he knows how it works yet.

 **Patros** : What makes you say that?

 **Rey** : Well, if he did, he probably wouldn't have left without killing you.

 **Patros** : ...Uhhh... me?

 **Di-Roy** : Yeah, ummm... whatever happened to Skullak?

 _Cut to the bottom of the cliff where Carolina landed. She is lying unconscious in the snow while Epsilon sits on top of her chest plate, slowly shaking his head._

 **Epsilon** : She is going to be _so_ pissed off when she wakes up.

 _Cut to the Armonia vehicle hanger, with Dordoni waiting nearby as drivers pull up in damaged vehicles. Cut to Findor, Nirgge, Baraggan, Di-Roy, and Rey inside the War Room. There is silence for a few seconds._

 **Nirgge** : Sooo, uh... that did not go well.

 _Rey, Findor, and Di-Roy almost speak in unison._

 **Rey** : Yeah.

 **Findor** : Mmm-Hm.

 **Di-Roy** : It was real bad... _(short pause)_ We found Doc.

 **Nirgge** : Uhh, yeah.

 **Findor** : That's _technically_ good.

 **Baraggan** : ...Well I had a great time!

 _Harribel is then heard yelling nearby._

 **Harribel** : ( _off screen_ ) Oh, GOOD FOR YOU!

 **Baraggan** : Thank you!

 _Cut to Harribel and Patros entering the room._

 **Harribel** : No, not you! _Him!_

 **Patros** : It was a split second decision, and I stand by it!

 **Harribel** : Well, thanks to you, the mercenaries now have the power to kill us all.

 **Patros** : Only if I die first!

 **Harribel** : Great! So now we'll get to waste valuable men to guard you 24/7!

 **Patros** : Well, we'd have more men if _you_ hadn't led them all into a trap!

 **Harribel** : Don't you _dare_ turn this around on me.

 _Cut to Agent Washington facing the group._

 **Washington** : Okay, ENOUGH! ( _walks over to Patros and Harribel_ ) You two are acting like children!

 **Nirgge** : HA-HA! You're immature!

 **Harribel** : ( _turns to Nirgge_ ) Dish duty!

 **Nirgge** : Fuck!

 **Washington** : What's done is done. So let's quit focusing on what went wrong and start thinking about what we have now, and what we can start doing.

 **Findor** : How's Skullak and Carolina?

 **Patros** : Our dear friend Nelliel has assured me that Carolina will make a full recovery. Uhh, as well as your purple friend from the caves.

 **Findor** : Eh, tough luck, can't win 'em all.

 **Washington** : Epsilon's situation is more problematic; he's doing fine now, but there's something he's not telling us. Complete armor failure just doesn't happen out of the blue.

 **Baraggan** : Well, if you want my tactical assessment-

 **Nirgge** : _We don't._

 **Baraggan** : ( _continues_ ) -It looks to me like we've got to get to the alien-phone-tower-thingy, pronto! Make a collect call to Earth.

 **Washington** : Well...

 **Baraggan** : Dial 1-800-Send-ships-and-kill-pirates! Standard text-messaging rates apply.

 **Washington** : ...Are you done?

 **Baraggan** : I'll think of more.

 **Washington** : We can't go barging in like we did with Alpha.

 **Patros** : I couldn't agree more.

 **Harribel** : Well, we can't just sit here and wait for Charon to attack!

 **Patros** : Why not? It's heavily fortified and the city reactor rules out the risk of aerial bombings. Our alien artifacts are no good to Charon post-explosion, my dear.

 **Harribel** : Then they'll surround us and wait for our supplies to run dry. Jesus, don't you think about any of this?!

 **Patros** : So, you suggest we throw Rey out there to search for the tower? They'll _kill_ him, and then they'll have _two_ Swords!

 **Rey** : Hey, I could make it... maybe.

 **Harribel** : I don't have all of the answers, General, but I do know that sometimes you have to risk lives if you want to see results. Even your own. _Especially_ your own. You should have thrown that Sword off the mountain and taken the fucking bullet, but you're too much of a stupid, selfish coward to see that.

 **Washington** : HARRIBEL!

 **Harribel** : ...This meeting is over. ( _leaves_ )

 **Washington** : Wait, we need to come up with a plan!

 _Another brief silence._

 **Nirgge** : Sooo, uh... that didn't really go well either.

 **Patros** : She's right, though... ( _starts walking away as well_ )

 **Washington** : Where are you going?!

 **Patros** : My quarters. I'm a _failure_ of a General, and apparently a _failure_ of a human being. Should any of you _actually_ need me, you know where to find me. ( _walks around the corner_ )

 **Findor** : Actually, I don't think you ever told us where your quarters are.

 **Patros** : ( _yelling from down the hallway_ ) Well then I'm a failure at leaving, too!

 _The sound of the door closing can be heard. Cut back to Rey, Di-Roy, and Baraggan._

 **Rey** : Well, shit.

 **Baraggan** : I say forget the both of them. If they don't want to run this show, then we'll just do it for them. First order of business: Red uniforms!

 **Washington** : The problem isn't just with them. The Feds and Rebels may be working together, but they still aren't... _working_ together. There's no trust, no... anything!

 **Findor** : Well, it took us ages before we were able to trust the Blues.

 **Nirgge** : Yeah, and some of us are still working on it.

 _Rotates from Findor and Nirgge to Baraggan, who is pointing his Shotgun into the back of Di-Roy's head, muttering incomprehensibly._

 **Rey** : Face it dude, these guys spent years killing each other. They're not going to get all buddy-buddy.

 **Washington** : I know. But if we can't bring them together soon, we're not going to stand a chance.

 **Baraggan** : Operator, I'd like to place a collect-call... to vengeance! Knew I had one more in me!


	51. Ep 51

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _The Thin Fed Line!_

 _Fade in, outside the Armonia Hospital, at which five medical officers comprising of the New Republic and the Federal Army, seem to be talking to one another as the Intercom comes over._

 **Intercom** : Paging Doctor Wooten. Doctor Wooten? ...Doctor Wooten?

 _Cut to Nelliel and Charlotte inside the hospital, whereas Charlotte is talking to Szayel about their experiences since Szayel has been missing._

 _ **ARMONIA HOSPITAL**_

 **Charlotte** : And then it turned out Grimmjow was _evil_ , so we exposed the truth, stopped the civil war, and now we're fighting to send a distress call to Earth!

 _Cut to szayel facing them._

 **Szayel** : And at no point, during any of this, did you realize I was missing?

 _Charlotte and Nelliel glance at each other then look back to Szayel._

 **Charlotte** : ...Apparently not!

 **Szayel** : ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) ARGH, I will destroy you all for your insufferable ignorance!

 **Nelliel** : Ooh! This is certainly the most vocal split personality I've ever seen. But I suppose an eternity in isolation will do that for you. _(turns back to Szayel)_ Tell me, Mr. O'Malley, when you say you wish to "destroy us all", what exactly do you think you mean by that?

 **Szayel** : ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) I mean you will cease to exist! You will all die by my hand! Hahahaha! Really, it's quite self-explanatory.

 **Nelliel** : Well, I think there is some serious issues here we're just starting to get a hold of! Nothing a little electro-shock therapy couldn't fix...

 **Szayel** : ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) HA - I beg your pardon?

 _Nelliel walks up to Szayel with her medical scanner glowing._

 **Nelliel** : ( _seductively_ ) After you, handsome.

 **Szayel** : ( _normal voice_ ) Wa-wait! Can't we talk about this?

 **Charlotte** : We're gonna fix you right up, Doc! Where should I stick the thermometer?

 **Szayel** : Uh... I think I need to get second opinion!

 **Nelliel** : We got a runner!

 _Szayel sprints away from Nelliel and Charlotte. Nelliel and Charlotte start chasing after him. Carolina is seen from the corner of the room, watching them. Epsilon appears next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon** : Finally! Some freakin' quiet... Hey, wanna see if she left her prescription pad?

 **Carolina** : We need to talk.

 **Epsilon** : ( _disappointed_ ) Oh. Yeah... can we at least do it when your on heavy sedatives?

 _Cut to the streets of Armonia, with one Federal Army soldier facing Pesche. Next to them is Rey, Baraggan, Findor, Di-Roy, and Nirgge._

 **Findor** : Alright, let's try this again. First, we start with a friendly handshake.

 _The two face each other. Pesceh makes a strange spitting sound at the soldier._

 **Pesche** : Devil man.

 **Federal Army Soldier** : Did you just spit inside your helmet?

 **Pesche** : Take yourself, and fuck yourself... with yourself.

 **Federal Army Soldier** : ...What?

 **Pesche** : Exactly!

 **Rey** : God damn it, Pesche.

 **Findor** : Well, it's a step-up from assault and battery.

 **Pesche** : He provoked me!

 **Federal Army Soldier** : You Rebels are all fucking nuts.

 **Pesche** : That's impossible! Nuts don't have orifices! Go back to school!

 **Federal Army Soldier** : What about doughnuts?

 **Pesche** : Now you're just speaking in riddles and you know it!

 _Nirgge and Baraggan glance at each other, then Baraggan looks at them._

 **Baraggan** : ...I'm having a hard time following this conversation.

 **Rey** : Ugh, forget it. You guys can go.

 **Federal Army Soldier** : Fine. ( _walks off_ )

 **Pesche** : ( _turns to Rey_ ) How'd I do?

 **Rey** : You are a constant source of disappointment.

 **Pesche** : Alright! ( _walks off_ )

 **Di-Roy** : Hey... I thought I was a constant source of disappointment. Well I will just have to try harder! SOMEONE GIVE ME A SCREWDRIVER!

 **Rey** : Ugh! Why is this happening now!? We're in the middle of a fucking war and these guys won't do anything but hate on each other!

 **Nirgge** : The problem isn't with them. It's just with your approach.

 **Baraggan** : What the heck's that supposed to mean?

 **Nirgge** : You can't force people into liking each other. You just gotta _lie_ to them until they _think_ they like each other.

 **Findor** : That sounds like a terrible idea.

 **Rey** : No, he's right. I used the same tactic on women a million times!

 **Nirgge** : This is basic shit. First, we tell Patros Harribel wants to apologize and meet him for dinner. Then, we tell Harribel that Patros wants to apologize then invite her to the same restaurant.

 **Findor** : Oh, come on, there's no way that'll work! That's a plot point used in old sitcoms!

 **Nirgge** : And one of those sitcoms was called " _Friends_ ", which is exactly what we want them to be! Case closed!

 **Baraggan** : Face it moron, we just ain't cut out for this kinda job. What we need is someone with a more _delicate_ touch. Someone that can act as a neutral force. Someone that's neither red nor blue, but some sort of disgusting middle ground, like a... dark fuchsia.

 _At that moment, Szayel runs past the five, and trailing behind isNelliel and Charlotte, while Di-Roy looks in their direction._

 **Szayel** : You'll never take me alive! I ran track in high school!

 **Nelliel** : Running only makes me want you more!

 _Silence for a few moments, then Baraggan turns to the crew._

 **Baraggan** : If only we knew someone that-

 **Findor** : Oh just stop.

 _Cut to Epsilon and Carolina facing each other on a rocky outpass outside of the Armonia grounds, essentially the boundaries._

 _ **ARMONIA CITY LIMITS**_

 **Carolina** : What happened to you? You were with me one minute then the next you were gone.

 **Epsilon** : Alright, I know what you're tryin' to talk about here. Look, sometimes guys my age have performance issues, it's completely natural!

 **Carolina** : Epsilon, I'm serious.

 **Epsilon** : Hey, me too! This shit's embarrassing and now I gotta talk to Dr. Odelschwanck about getting some pills-

 **Carolina** : Stop dodging me on this!

 **Epsilon** : ( _sighs_ ) Look, I'm not failing if that's what you're worked up about, but... I have my limits.

 **Carolina** : What do you mean?

 **Epsilon** : I mean you can't expect me to run all of your armor equipment at the drop of a hat! I'm not a young, brand new A.I.! I'm just one of the fragments.

 **Carolina** : ...Look, I'm sorry if I pushed you too far. But we can't use that as an excuse. We're going to need every advantage we can get!

 **Epsilon** : ( _sarcastically_ ) Ohh, your right! Would you like some holographic projections too? How about a time distortion while you fight? Or, ooh, we could get you a seat warmer! How about that?

 **Carolina** : You know what we're up against!

 **Epsilon** : And _you_ know what happened to the Meta!

 **Carolina** : ...What did you just say?

 **Epsilon** : He kept fighting for more and more power too, and in the end it got him killed.

 **Carolina** : Don't you _ever_ talk about Maine like you knew him!

 **Epsilon** : I'm just trying to show you how close you're getting to crossing a very dangerous line. You're Agent Carolina! You don't need all this fancy stuff to win! You're already the best!

 **Carolina** : I appreciate the thought, Skullak. I really do.

 **Epsilon** : Good, 'cause I am really not all about this sincerity stuff.

 **Carolina** : But the only reason we _survived_ the radio jammer is because Locus is insane! He could've killed Wash, and they both could've done a lot more!

 **Epsilon** : But they didn't! So what does it have to do with anything anyway!?

 **Carolina** : I told you when I went through the gateway that I saw the Freelancers... I had to watch them die.

 **Epsilon** : ...Oh...

 **Carolina** : And after they were gone, I saw all of you. ...Wash, Rey, the Reds and... Skullak, I can't lose another family.

 _Cut to Patros standing with two soldiers behind him, revealing to have heard their conversation._

 **Patros** : You're scared. ( _Carolina and Epsilon turn to him_ ) Er, forgive me. But I'm all too familiar with the feeling.

 **Carolina** : What are you doing here?

 _Patros walks up to them._

 **Patros** : It's my favorite part of the Capital. Just far enough away from everything. I come here whenever I need a moment. It looks as though you had a similar idea?

 **Epsilon** : Shouldn't you be in the center of town, behind seventy-eight inches of bulletproof everything!?

 **Patros** : Oh, there's all sorts of things we _should_ be doing. We _should_ be prepping our next move against the enemy. But instead we're here, standing around, talking.

 **Epsilon** : Yeah. You get used to it.

 **Patros** : You know, I believe it was the great William Shakespeare who said: "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it." I don't believe those words have ever been more relevant.

 **Epsilon** : ...I don't think that was Shakespeare.

 **Patros** : What?

 **Epsilon** : That quote. I don't think he said that.

 **Patros** : ...Really?

 **Epsilon** : Yeah, pretty sure.

 **Carolina** : Uh, yeah.

 **Patros** : ...Oh.

 _Slowly pans out from the three._

 **Carolina** : Still. It's a good quote.

 **Patros** : Thank you.

 **Epsilon** : Well, here's to hoping the mercs are just as frustrated as the rest of us.

 _Cut to the mercs' base, where Grimmjow is angrily banging the useless key on a table whilst Locus and Edrad watch from afar._

 **Grimmjow** : I... AM EXTREMELY... FRUSTRATED!

 **Edrad** : Get a grip.

 **Grimmjow** : _How?!_ _How_ do you forget to mention something as important as that?!

 **Edrad** : We were in a hurry.

 _Grimmjow puts away the key, then pulls out his rifle._

 **Grimmjow** : ( _darkly sarcastic_ ) Oh, you were in a hurry? Hey, Locus, you know I was really thinking about letting Sharkface live, but since we're in a hurry, how about we just fucking _kill_ him?!

 **Edrad** : I'd like to see you try.

 **Grimmjow** : Done. _(raises his rifle at Edrad)_

 **Locus** : No violence between partners.

 **Grimmjow** : ( _lowers rifle_ ) He's not a partner, he's an idiot! And thanks to him, we've got a key that _does NOTHING_ until the General is dead!

 **Edrad** : Then we kill the General.

 **Grimmjow** : The grown-ups are talking, fishstick.

 **Locus** : Quiet! We have the advantage and we have a plan. So quit moaning, and do your job. _(turns to Edrad)_ Both of you.

 **Edrad** : You're the boss. (Edrad _heads off, and Locus turns to Grimmjow_ )

 **Locus** : I'll sync with the Tartarus. You need to get your head together.

 **Grimmjow** : _(scoffs then speaks under his breath)_ Said the raving lunatic. ( _walks off_ )

 _Locus approaches a screen and switches it on. The Counselor appears on it._

 **Counselor** : Locus. The Tartarus is maintaining orbit around the planet as discussed.

 **Locus** : Good.

 **Counselor** : Shall I inform Carmichael that you wish to speak with him?

 **Locus** : That won't be necessary. I'd like to ask _you_ a few questions.

 **Counselor** : How can I be of assistance?

 **Locus** : I want to know more about the Meta.


	52. Ep 52

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Counseling!_

 _Fade in to Armonia overlooking a nearby garage. Cut to Szayel._

 **Szayel:** So, you think you can just send me to another dimension, forget my very existence, and then expect me to help you when you're in trouble?

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues._

 **Baraggan:** Yes.

 ** **Szayel** : **Finally! All I ever wanted was to be included... ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) Mwhaha! This is why no one respects you. ( _normal voice)_ Come on O'Malley! Don't be such a negative nancy. ( _O'Malley's voice)_ If you had a dog, it'd chew through it's leash and run into traffic.

 **Findor:** Hey, I had a dog that did that.

 **Nirgge:** Surprising no one.

 _Washington rushes towards the group._

 **Washington:** _There_ you are! What hell have you all been doing?

 **Rey:** Oh, just a little thing we like to call _saving the planet_!

 **Washington:** We've got Harribel's men threatening to leave the Capital, while Patros' forces are setting up a perimeter to keep them in! If we don't act soon we're gonna have _another_ civil war on our hands!

 ** **Baraggan** : **Don't you worry your pretty little yellow striped head, Wash! We've got everything under control.

 **Washington:** _How!?_

 ** **Szayel** : **An honest and down-to-earth counseling session!

 **Washington:**... What?

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues standing in the War Room with Harribel and Patros. Szayel is facing them._

 ** **Szayel** : **A counseling session. Just you two and your closest friends, here to talk and support you.

 **Harribel:** This is a waste of time.

 **Patros:** I concur.

 ** **Szayel** : **See, you're already agreeing on things! The system works!

 **Washington:** ( _to Harribel and Patros, quietly)_ I am so sorry.

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **Okay! Let's start things off with a little roleplay, _shall_ we?

 **Charlotte:** Yeah! Dibs on police officer!

 **Findor:**... _What_?

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **C'mon, don't be shy! Look, it's easy! ( _turns to Nirgge) Nirgge_ , why don't you pretend to be me, and I'll pretend to be you!

 **Nirgge:** Uhhh... Hey, everybody, look at me, I'm Doc...

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **( _in O'Malley's voice)_ And I'm Nirgge Parduoc! Reporting for duty. Oh, wait, never mind! I forgot that I'm a worthless sack of human excrement, that wouldn't be caught dead following orders, because I'm too busy wishing my parents loved me as much as my sister, hahaha! Maybe if I had a stable father figure growing up I wouldn't be so opposed to order, but I guess that's just what happens when your mother turns tricks behind the elephant cage at the circus, hahahaha! Here Parduoc, have some more _cotton candy!_ Hahahahaha!

 _Moment of silence as everyone looks at Nirgge simultaneously._

 **Nirgge:** ( _lowers head sadly)_ It was a nice circus...

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **( _in normal voice_ ) Ohhhh, gosh... sorry about that... maybe we should try something else.

 **Baraggan:** ( _watching Nirgge mourn_ ) I don't know, I think we're making progress!

 _Cut to space, where the Tartarus is seen orbiting around Chorus. Several asteroids asre scattered around the ship._

 **Counselor:** ( _off screen)_ The Meta?

 **Locus:** ( _off screen)_ Yes. ( _Cut to the interior of the Tartarus where the Counselor is seen talking to Locus through a screen_ ) Any additional information we can gather on our enemies vital to success.

 **Counselor** : Would it not be more beneficial to discuss Agents Carolina and Washington?

 **Locus:** _No._ I have a full understanding on Washington. His background no longer interests me. The same can be said for Carolina.

 **Counselor** : Very well. What would you like to know?

 **Locus:** The Meta had the potential for perfection. How was it possible that he was defeated by a group of incompetent simulation troopers?

 **Counselor** : Agent Maine survived numerous injuries during his time with the Freelancers. Most would have been lethal had they been inflicted upon any other man. However, in the end, four puncture wounds in his suit resulted in asphyxiation by liquid. He drowned.

 **Locus:** I'm aware of _how_ he died, I want to know why he was unable to prevent it.

 **Counselor** : As did the rest of us. It seemed impossible at the time, but as you've already seen, the simulation troopers are extraordinarily resilient.

 **Locus:** He had every possible advantage.

 **Counselor** : But they had each other. They had what our agents never fully achieved: complete and total faith in one another. I think it's important to note that had the Reds and Blues combated Agent Maine _prior_ to the destruction of his A.I., it's possible events may have played out differently.

 **Locus:** Why is that?

 **Counselor** : You must remember that Agent Maine and the Meta are two distinctly different psyches. The Meta was the result of the Sigma A.I. manipulating Maine. His sole objective was perfection. ( _as he speaks, outside, two asteroids float towards each other slowly_ ) When the A.I. fragments were destroyed by Agent Washington, the Meta was destroyed along with them, ( _the smaller asteroid smashes into the larger one as he says this, breaking it into pieces_ ) leaving behind a damaged shell of a man. Unlike Sigma, his only remaining goal was to obtain power. His actions were more reckless. His behavior, more sporadic.

 **Locus:** ( _cut back to the Counselor_ ) And before Sigma? What was he like then?

 **Counselor** : A brute. Strong. Unrelenting. Fearless. He had no qualms when asked to do the unpleasant. The morally questionable. Because, despite what many thought of him, he knew he was, at his core, a _soldier_ , and his actions inevitably served the greater good.

 **Locus:** The greater good is irrelevant. His actions should have been his orders. Nothing more.

 **Counselor** : No. That would make him a slave.

 **Locus:** ( _looks away momentarily)_ Would you say Maine performed at his best when controlled by Sigma? When the Meta strove to be the perfect weapon.

 **Counselor** : You're mistaken in assuming Sigma's definition of 'perfection'. The Meta never wanted to be a weapon. The Meta wanted to be human. ( _a moment of silence between the two_ ) Is there anything else you wish to discuss?

 **Locus:**...No.

 **Counselor:** Have you noticed a change in your behavior since entering the gateway? I understand the portal attacked the minds of its inhabitants; confronting them with their greatest fears. That could have lasting effects on an individual.

 **Locus:** ( _defensive_ ) _I'm fine._

 **Counselor:** I'm inclined to disagree.

 **Locus:** You're overstepping your boundaries, Counselor.

 **Counselor:** I'm merely doing my job.

 **Locus:** Your job is to -

 **Counselor:** ( _interrupts him_ ) Would you like to know what Grimmjow is afraid of?

 **Locus:**...I -

 _Cut to Grimmjow standing behind Locus._

 **Grimmjow:** Locus! The teams are ready. We need you out front.

 **Locus:** ( _turns away from the Counselor hesitantly, then walks off_ ) Of course.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **( _stares at the screen the Counselor is on_ ) I'll be right there. ( _approaches the Counselor) G_ otta say, _love_ what you did with Sharkface. You got more guts than I gave you credit for.

 **Counselor:** I've worked with dangerous patients before.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **True. ...But if Sharkface ever found out you worked with Freelancer... _ooh,_ I can't imagine things would play out nicely. ( _as he says this, the Counselor begins to fidget nervously_ ) Keep up the good work, Zommari. (Grimmjow _turns off the screen and walks off)_

 _Cut to Armonia, with the Reds and Blues still in the War Room. Rey and Di-Roy are facing each other._

 **Di-Roy:** Rey, when you call me names like stupid, and really stupid, it makes me feel sad.

 **Szayel:** Perfect! Now you, Rey.

 **Rey:** Di-Roy, when you volunteered _us_ to demonstrate 'speaking our feelings', it made _me,_ feel like hitting _you_ , in the goddamn mouth.

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Yes. Well, now I feel sadder- ( _clears throat, then looks at Szayel anxiously)_ Um, are we doing this right?

 ** **Szayel** : **Right as rain!

 ** **Di-Roy** : **Oh! Good! Well then NOW I FEEL HAPPY AGAIN! I LOVE COUNSELING!

 ** **Szayel** : **Heh heh! Don't we all? ( _turns to Harribel and Patros)_ Okay, now it's your turn!

 **Patros:** I'm sorry, but how much longer -

 ** **Szayel** : **Aha! Harribel has the speaking ball right now!

 _Cut to Harribel with a large soccer ball behind her._

 **Harribel:** Doc, this isn't going to work.

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **Well not with that attitude.

 ** **Harribel** : **Attitude isn't our problem, it's a complete and total breakdown in cooperation.

 ** **Patros** : **Well, cooperation is a two-way street, Ms. _Harribel_.

 **Washington:** ( _nervously_ ) Oh boy...

 ** **Harribel** : **If you want to stay in this death trap of a city, that's fine. But don't think for a second that I'm letting you bring down the New Republic with you.

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **_Okay_ , now if we can just all -

 ** **Patros** : **Leaving is suicide! You need us just as much as we need you! If you run off now, you'll doom us all!

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **Okay, guys! Guys!

 ** **Harribel** : **I'd rather die trying something than waste another second standing around here!

 ** ** **Szayel**** : **_H_ - _Harribel_ _..._

 ** **Harribel** : **_I have the speaking ball!_

 **Epsilon:** Uhhh... ( _cut to him and Carolina standing behind them_ ) The speaking... ball?

 ** **Harribel** : **Yes. And you know what? I'm done talking. I'm ready for action. (Harribel _begins to walk off)_

 **Szayel:** W-wait! P-p-please! Look, can't you just say _one_ nice thing about the other person!? Something...? Anything!? (Harribel _stops and turns to Patros)_

 ** **Harribel** : **I always imagined you as a tyrant. A mad man bent on absolute control. Now I see I was wrong. You're just a stubborn, incompetent man, and I don't know what's worse.

 **Charlotte:** Oohh, that's burn.

 ** ** **Patros**** : **Do you know what _your_ problem is, Tia? You're far too eager to die for your beliefs. When you felt your government had betrayed you, you stood against it. When your leaders fell before you, you took their place, and now when we are at our _most_ vulnerable, you want to fight. I can honestly say... that... I've never met a more courageous individual in all my life.

 **Rey:** What!?

 ** **Harribel** : **What?

 **Szayel:** What? I mean, alright, great job!

 ** ** **Patros**** : **I wish - ( _sighs softly_ ) I wish I had tenth of the courage that you possess. _Maybe_ if I did, I'd have made a better General. But, I don't. And I'm afraid. Not just for myself, but for my people.

 **Harribel:** They're my people too.

 ** ** **Patros**** : **Which is _precisely_ why we should be working to save them.

 ** **Harribel** : **You think some cheap compliments are going to win me over?

 ** ** **Patros**** : **Why do you insist on fighting me!?

 **Washington:** Look, guys, if we can just -

 _A large explosion cuts him off, as everyone glances up._

 **Nirgge:** Uhh... what was that?

 _A second explosion sounds, as the radio turns on._

 **Tesla:** ( _over radio_ ) General Harribel, we're under attack!

 ** **Harribel** : **What!?

 **Patros:** That's impossible. They'd never risk a bombing run!

 ** **Tesla** : **( _over radio_ ) Well, that's the thing...

 _Cut to outside, where Tesla, Sung-sun, Dondochakka, Pesche, and other Rebels and Feds are seen looking up._

 ** **Tesla** : **Uh, they're actually not.

 _The Tartarus is shown looming above Armonia, with space pirates leaping off it and descending into the city using jetpacks. Several pirates land behind a Fed and Rebel and kill them immediately. Edrad then lands behind them using his flamethrowers._

 **Edrad:** Let's go to work.

 _Edrad closes up his flamethrowers. Gunfire is heard._


	53. Ep 53

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Armonia part 1!_

 _Pan in to the Federal Army and New Republic firing at Charon's forces at Armonia. One New Republic soldier is killed. Cut to the War room, where the Blood Gulch Crew, Patros and Harribel are seen. An alarm blares in the background._

 **Findor:** I thought you guys said we were safe at the Capital!

 **Patros:** I never thought they'd be so bold! Th-they'd take too many casualties!

 **Washington:** I guess they don't care how many people they lose. Once they have the sword, it won't matter.

 **Baraggan:** ( _reloads and pumps shotgun)_ Then sounds like we gotta make sure they lose all their men!

 **Szayel:** ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) Mwhaha, yes! Forget the counseling session. Bring on the blood bath! Hahahaha!

 **Charlotte:** Let's get out there and stick it to 'em, gang!

 **Epsilon:** Hold up. ( _everyone turns and looks at him)_ Um,I got a better idea, but... you're probably not gonna like it.

 **Nirgge:** Can't be much worse than the current one.

 **Epsilon:** It's like Harribel said, the Capital's a death trap... but not for us.

 _Harribel and Patros glance at each other. Cut to two Space pirates firing at two Feds and Nelliel, who are under cover, at the hospital. One of the Feds stands up and fires at the pirates but is shot down immediately._

 **Federal Army Soldier 1:** Ungh! ( _falls down and dies_ )

 **Federal Army Soldier 2:** ( _ducks down, frightened)_ Ahhh...!

 _ **ARMONIA HOSPITAL**_

 **Nelliel:** What are you doing? We've got patients to save!

 **Federal Army Soldier 2:** Uhhh, yes ma'am! ( _stands up, firing at them, but then is shot in the arm and falls down next to Nelliel)_ Ahh, my arm!

 ** **Nelliel** : **( _sarcastic_ ) Oh, so now human limbs are a _bad_ thing!

 _Suddenly, the firing stops. Nelliel stands up to see what happened. Pesche, Tesla, Sung-sun and_ _Dondochakka are standing there, with the two dead pirates at their feet._

 **Pesche:** I think that these guys... are gonna need a hospital.

 **Dondochakka:** Just... no _._

 **Tesla:** ( _to his team and Nelliel_ ) Come on, we need to get everyone out of here.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **What are you talking about?

 **Sung-sun:** Didn't you hear? We're evacuating!

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **Excuse me?

 ** **Tesla** : **General's orders. We're abandoning Armonia. Warthogs, pelicans, whatever can get us out of the Capital.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : **But... why?

 ** **Dondochakka** : **Well, the mercs just dropped all of their men right into the city.

 ** **Sung-sun** : **A city that just so happens to have a very powerful nuclear reactor.

 ** ** **Nelliel**** : ...**And, if we blow up the reactor...

 ** **Tesla** : **...We blow up _everything_ Charon has to throw at us.

 _Cut to the city streets. Two Rebels drive past on mongooses. Another follows on foot, running away from three space pirates._

 **Space Pirate 1:** Haha! That's it! _Run!_

 **Space Pirate 3:** Anyone got eyes on the targets?

 **Space Pirate 2:** Not yet.

 **Space Pirate 1:** Then let's pick up the pace! I want that kill bonus.

 _The three run off. Then pans back to reveal Rey, Patros, Szayel and the Reds watching them._

 **Rey:** You know, I always wanted to be popular as a kid.

 **Patros:** ( _dreamily)_ As did I.

 **Charlotte:** Is it just like you imagined?

 ** **Patros** : **No...

 ** **Rey** : **Kinda.

 **Findor:** Alright, we made it to the Armory.

 **Carolina:** ( _over radio)_ Good.

 _Cut to Carolina, Wash and Harribel in the underground maintenance tunnels._

 _ **ARMONIA • UNDERGROUND MAINTENANCE TUNNELS**_

 **Carolina:** ( _over radio_ ) There should still be a Pelican docked in the garage. Load up as many supplies as you can then get Rey and Patros _out_ of the city. We'll take care of the reactor's manual overload.

 **Washington:** Be ready to come pick us up once you're done.

 ** **Patros** : **( _over radio_ ) Are you sure there is no other way? Armonia is our home!

 **Harribel:** We'll build a new one. Right now, you need to focus on staying alive. ( _radio cuts off_ )

 **Washington:** We should keep moving.

 **Carolina:** How much farther?

 **Epsilon:** ( _appears next to Carolina)_ It's gonna be a while. These tunnels wind all over the place.

 _Carolina walks forward down the tunnel. Edrad's leg is seen to her side._

 **Carolina:** Well, at least they keep us off the streets and out of trouble.

 **Edrad:** I wouldn't be so sure.

 _Cut to Edrad facing them. Wash and Harribel rush in and raise their weapons at Edrad in response._

 ** **Edrad** :** ( _raises Hardlight Shield_ ) Uh ah. I don't think so.

 **Epsilon:** I really, _really_ hate this guy.

 **Washington:** We don't have time for this.

 **Carolina:** Don't worry... I'm the one he wants. ( _to Edrad_ ) If I stay will you let them go?

 _Wash and Harribel lower their weapons._

 ** **Edrad** :** ( _lowers shield_ ) Huh. Deal. But once you're dead ( _turns to Wash_ ) I'm coming after you, Washington!

 **Washington:** ( _to Carolina_ ) Please kill him.

 ** **Harribel** :** You sure you'll be alright?

 **Carolina:** Yeah. ...I'm sure.

 _Epsilon disappears. Wash and Harribel run off, leaving Carolina and Edrad alone. The two stare each other down. Cut to the Armory, where the Blood Gulch Crew arm themselves with weapons._

 **Baraggan:** Ammo?

 **Findor:** ( _passes by carrying a Battle Rifle_ ) Check!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Machine guns?

 **Di-Roy:** ( _passes by carrying a machine gun turret_ ) Check!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Rocket launchers? ( _no response_ ) ...Rocket launcheeers?!

 **Szayel:** ( _in O'Malley's voice, carrying a Rocket Launcher_ ) Oh, you better god damn believe it! Mwahahahaha!

 **Rey:** ( _walks up next to Baraggan_ ) I'm not sitting next to him on the plane.

 ** **Findor** :** ( _off screen_ ) Shotgun!

 ** **Baraggan** :** Check!

 _Charlotte enters in from above a walkway._

 **Charlotte:** Uh guys... remember those bad guys from earlier? Well, they're coming back.

 **Patros:** ( _scared_ ) Ohhh dear...

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** Nirgge, what's the status on our Pelican?

 _Cut to the garage, where Nirgge is seen inside the cockpit of the Pelican._

 **Nirgge:** I don't know! Every time I turn it on it just makes a loud clunking sound.

 ** ** **Baraggan**** :** ( _over radio_ ) I'm gonna clunk you if you don't figure it out!

 ** **Nirgge** : **God damn it. Where's Dordoni when you need him? Wait a minute, where is Dordoni?

 ** **Findor** :**( _over radio_ ) Uhh...last I saw him, he was in the garage.

 _Pounding is heard coming from the back of the Pelican._

 **Dordoni:** Pendejo!

 ** **Nirgge** :** Oh, shit.

 **Lopez:** [I was fixing the engine, you fuck!]

 _Cut to the armory, where Nirgge quickly walks in._

 ** **Nirgge** :** Dordoni is stuck in the pelican!

 ** ** ** **Baraggan****** :** What?! Get him out of there!

 _Charlotte enters from above walkway._

 ** **Charlotte** :** ( _panicked_ ) They're coming inside!

 ** ** **Findor**** : **Quick, everybody hide!

 _Three space pirates walk through armory entrance._

 **Space Pirate 1:** Listen, all I'm saying is if we grab a warthog we can cover more...

 _Cut to reveal Di-Roy standing out in the open looking the other direction, Charlotte crouched behind a pair of crates on the above walkway with his head sticking out, Baraggan standing behind a stack of crates with the left half of his body clearly visible, Patros and Rey peeking from behind a corner, Findor crouched behind a crate with his knee sticking out, and a snowman near the back. Realizing they've been spotted, Findor stands up._

 ** ** **Findor**** :** Damn it! We suck at hiding.

 **Space Pirate 1:** Targets in the armory!

 _A rocket hits the ground and kills all three pirates._

 **Szayel:** ( _in O'Malley's voice)_ Remove the mechanical man this instant!

 **Freckles:** Hostile forces approaching.

 **Findor:** Oh, god! They know!

 **Rey:** Wash, please tell me you guys are done at the reactor.

 **Patros:** We need backup.

 **Washington:** ( _over radio_ ) Haven't made it yet. We ran into Sharkface.

 ** **Patros** :** What?!

 **Washington:** ( _over radio)_ Carolina's handling him. What's wrong?

 **Rey:** Forget it. We'll figure something out.

 _Rey turns off radio._

 ** **Patros** :** Figure something out? Just what exactly do you suggest we do?

 _Baraggan walks up with machine gun turret._

 **Baraggan:** We hold this place down until we can get the hell out of here.

 _Cut to outside the city away from the fighting._

 _ **ARMONIA, CAPITAL CITY OF CHORUS, DOWNTOWN**_

 _Carolina and Edrad burst out of the ground and into the air before crashing back down again. They both slowly pick themselves back up._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Keep it together. You got this, C.

 **Edrad:** You can beat me down as many times as you want, but you're just putting off the inevitable. So c'mon. What are you waiting for? Still trying to figure out how to beat me? Are you just too scared?

 **Carolina:** ( _off screen_ ) I'm sorry.

 ** **Edrad** : **( _surprised_ ) What?

 **Carolina:** I'm sorry for what we did to you... to your friends. You were on one side of the fight, and we were on the other. We thought we were the good guys. I'm sorry.

 ** **Edrad** :** I... don't care if you're sorry. Sorry doesn't change what you did. Sorry doesn't bring them back!

 **Carolina:** I know, but I'm offering you a choice. I don't want to fight you. Turn back now and you can walk away from this...alive.

 ** **Edrad** :** ( _prepares to fight)_ Something's gotten into you. _(extends his flamethrowers.)_ And I'm going to rip it out!

 _Edrad lunges at Carolina._


	54. Ep 54

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Armonia part 2!_

 _Open in on the space pirates firing at the armory._

 **Space Pirate 1:** What's going on?

 **Space Pirate 2:** The targets are inside, but they must have some of the best soldiers with them. Our men can't get near the armory, even with cloaking.

 **Space Pirate 1:** How's that possible?

 _Cut to armory interior. Freckles is mowing down the space pirates, repeating "target eliminated" while Di-roy yells excitedly. Cut to the rest of the Reds and Blues firing at the armory entrance._

 **Baraggan:** As much as I love shooting fish in a barrel, I think we may have overstayed our welcome.

 **Rey:** Yo, Findor. What's the deal with Dordoni?

 _Cut to the garage._

 _ **ARMORY GARAGE**_

 **Findor:** _(removing Dordoni's head from under the Pelican)_ Got the last piece out now.

 **Szayel:** _(over radio)_ Thank goodness. Is he ok?

 **Nirgge:** _(while a headless Dordoni is choking him)_ He's just fine. Argh!

 _Cut to the armory._

 ** **Baraggan** :** _(backing up to the garage entrance while still firing)_ Sounds like it's time to vamanos. C'mon, let's book it.

 _Di-Roy, Szayel, and Charlotte all run into the garage._

 **Charlotte:** Just so you know, I get very motion sick.

 _Once all three are inside, Baraggan backs up inside as well. Ret runs towards the garage but is stopped by Patros._

 **Patros:** Wait. Wait! If the pirates know we're on board the Pelican, what's to keep them in the city for the explosion?!

 ** **Rey** :** What?

 ** **Patros** :** I mean they'll just come after us. We'll lose our home, we'll lose everything for nothing!

 ** **Rey** : **Well there's not really any other options.

 _Rey goes to board the Pelican while Patros stares at a Mongoose behind him. Cut to outside the armory._

 **Space Pirate 1:** I think they're falling back! Get ready to-

 **Space Pirate 2:** We've got movement.

 _Patros races out of the armory and down the street on the Mongoose._

 ** **Patros** : **You'll never take me alive, you bastards!

 **Space Pirate 3:** _(confused)_ Where's he going?

 _The space pirates hear the Pelican's engines and turn to look at the armory just as the ship rises out of the garage and speeds off._

 **Space Pirate 1:** Locus, Grimmjow, come in. The Reds and Blues have escaped, but they left Patros behind.

 _Cut to the Tartarus Bridge._

 _ **UNSC TARTARUS**_

 **Space Pirate 1:** _(over radio)_ He's driving into the city.

 **Locus:** Something's not right.

 **Grimmjow:** Yeah, the fact that they're calling us instead of fucking chasing him!

 _Cut back to outside the armory._

 ** **Grimmjow** : **_(over radio)_ First person to put a bullet through the General gets twice the original bonus!

 **Space Pirate 1:** Hell, yeah!

 _The space pirates go to chase after Patros. Cut to Washington and Harribel inside the maintenance tunnels._

 _ **ARMONIA · UNDERGROUND MAINTENANCE TUNNELS**_

 **Harribel:** What do you mean, he's gone?!

 **Rey:** _(over radio)_ He just took off on a Mongoose. He said if we all went on the ship the plan wouldn't work.

 **Washington:** We'll find him. Just make sure the Reds get you to safety. We'll radio them when we're ready.

 ** **Rey** : **_(over radio)_ Yeah, yeah.

 ** **Harribel** :** What the hell does he think he's doing?!

 **Washington:** Calm down. I'll get him on a secure line and handle this. _(radios Patros) Patros_ , what the hell do you think you're doing?! We need you on that ship!

 **Patros:** _(over radio)_ Believe me, I would love to be on board. But, right now, I'm the only thing keeping Charon from leaving the city. How soon can you be at the reactor? I can't lead them on forever.

 **Washington:** We're not sure. Without Epsilon, we're running blind down here. We may have to surface and risk moving on the streets.

 _Cut to Armonia streets. Patros slows his Mongoose to a halt._

 ** **Patros** : **Then don't bother.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ What do you mean?

 ** **Patros** :** Armonia's nearly abandoned and I know every back alley and short cut. At this rate, I'll reach the reactor before you. _(speeds off into a nearby tunnel)_

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ Don't even think about it.

 _Cut back to the maintenance tunnels._

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ Stop arguing and listen to me! I can wait to trigger the meltdown, but once it begins we only have about fifteen minutes. Where is the extraction point?

 **Washington:** The intersection at 51st and Tenor is wide enough for a Pelican but it's a few miles away from the reactor. We were planning on grabbing a Warthog from the training facility to make it in time.

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ Very well then. Go help Carolina. I'll meet you all at the Pelican once this is done. _(screeching tires and Patros' frightened squeal is heard)_ Providing I don't crash and die on this horrible thing!

 _Cut to Carolina and Edrad fighting in the streets. Washington radios in while they continue fighting. Edrad swings a right punch that Carolina ducks under. He goes for a spinning hammerfist, but Carolina catches his arm and lands a punch and knee against his face._

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Carolina, it's Wash. When can you get to the LZ?

 **Carolina:** _(grabbing Edrad's arm and swinging him around her before tossing him aside)_ Kinda hard to say.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Well, we're going to need you pretty damn soon. Patros' riding to the reactor.

 **Carolina:** Patros?

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Long story. Harribel and I are heading back to help you.

 _A metallic screeching catches Carolina's attention. She looks up and spots a monorail track above her._

 **Carolina:** Wait. How about I come to you?

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ What?

 **Carolina:** Make sure the extraction point is clear and get ready for one hell of an entrance.

 **Epsilon:** ( _appears next to Carolina_ ) You know that intersection isn't really close. I can't handle your speed boost for that long.

 **Carolina:** Can you handle one jump?

 **Epsilon:** A jump?

 _Carolina looks up as the monorail train passes over her._

 **Epsilon:** Thank god for public transportation.

 _Carolina leaps into the air just as Edrad lunges at her. Realizing she is gone he looks up. Carolina leans out the door of a train car and gives Edrad a salute. He growls angrily, pulls out his grappling hook, and fires it at the train, pulling him on board. He crashes through a window and prepares to continue fighting._

 **Edrad:** _(puts away grappling hook)_ You're not running away this time.

 _Edrad extends a flamethrower, aims, and fires. He reels back in shock when the flames suddenly fly back at his face. He looks at the shattered window, realizing that the wind will blow his flames back at him._

 **Carolina:** Sure you want to try that again?

 _Carolina smashes the window next her, causing all the windows down the car to shatter, creating even more wind inside the car. Realizing his flamethrower is useless, Edrad retracts it and prepares to fight. Cut to Armonia's nuclear reactor_

 _ **ARMONIA · NUCLEAR REACTOR**_

 **Patros:** _(walking up to the controls)_ Oh, this is going to violate so many safety regulations.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Are you at the reactor?

 ** **Patros** : **Yes. Gave those pirates the slip and arrived safe and sound. _(walks up to a computer)_ I'll start the process. Where are you?

 _Cut to the LZ with Harribel and Washington just as he finishes off a space pirate._

 **Washington:** Just cleared the LZ. All we're waiting on now is Carolina. How long do you need?

 _Cut back to the reactor._

 ** **Patros** :** _(begins typing on the keyboard)_ Not long. Just need to overheat a few things here and expose a few things there...

 **Space Pirate 1:** _(off screen)_ C'mon, this way.

 ** **Patros** : **Oh...no.

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ What is it?

 _Patros peeks outside and spots several space pirates searching for him._

 **Space Pirate 1:** We found his Mongoose. He can't be far.

 ** **Patros** : **I...uh...might not have given them the slip after all.

 **Washington:** _(over radio)_ Do you need backup?

 ** **Patros** : **No. _(walks back to the computer)_ Just a little more time.

 _Cut to the monorail train where Edrad and Carolina continue to fight. Carolina leans back and dodges Edrad's punch before landing a punch against his face. He swings with at her his left arm but Carolina ducks under it and lands a straight punch and an uppercut. She spins around, quickly landing two punches and a hammerfist. She jumps up and hits him with a tornado kick, sending him stumbling backwards. He stops himself by grabbing the car's poles. He growls angrily and charges forward. Carolina dodges his crescent kick and blocks his round kick. He punches at her with his left hand but misses and lodges it in one of the train car's poles. He tries swinging at her with his right hand but she dodges it and begins quickly punching him. She kicks the back of his legs, launching him up into the air, before hitting him with a downward hammerfist, freeing his hand and sending him crashing to the ground._

 _Edrad gets up and they both prepare to continue fighting. Carolina dodges two more punches before Edrad tries to hit her with a back kick. She circles behind him and and leaps off one of the chairs, hitting him in the face with a round kick._

 **Edrad:** _(swings a right haymaker that Carolina dodges)_ Stop it... _(swings a left haymaker that Carolina dodges)_ bitch!

 _Carolina dodges another two haymakers. Edrad goes to hit her with a reverse elbow, but she blocks the strike. He grabs her arm and swings her into the wall. Carolina blocks his superman punch but he still hits her with an uppercut. He misses his next punch and Carolina jumps up, grabs the rails along the top of the car and kicks Edrad. He rolls backwards and pulls out his grappling hook, firing it at Carolina. She dodges it, the hook latching onto the door at the front of the car, and she yanks the cable, sending Edrad flying towards her. She grabs the seats and kicks Edrad back again._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) This is our stop.

 _Carolina picks up the grappling gun off the floor. Edrad gets up and prepares to fight, but is surprised to see Carolina yank forward on the grappling hook, sending the door it was still attached to flying at him. The doors smashes into him, sending him flying out the back of the car. Edrad hits the street below, with the wreckage of the door landing beside him. Carolina soon rolls and lands safely onto the street, panting. Carolina sits back as Harribel and Washington run up beside her and take aim at Edrad._

 **Washington:** You weren't kidding about the entrance.

 **Carolina:** _(to Edrad)_ Face it; it's over. You lose.

 ** **Edrad** :** _(struggling to stand up)_ Over? Nah. _(he shakes his head)_ No. You can break me, burn me, bury me alive... _(falls back to the ground and rips off his helmet)_ As long as I'm still breathing it will never be over. I will hunt you. I will burn you! _(gets to his knees)_ As long as I'M ALIVE, you're all as good as DEAD!

 _Harribel and Washington exchange glances and shrug before proceeding to gun down Edrad._

 **Epsilon:** ( _appears next to Carolina_ ) You know, I don't think he'll be getting up from that one.

 **Carolina:** Me either.

 **Washington:** _(offering Carolina a hand)_ You ok?

 **Carolina:** _(as Washington pulls her up)_ Thanks to you. Now, let's get out of here.

 **Washington:** Nirgge, bring the Pelican around.

 **Charlotte:** _(over radio)_ Actually, Dordoni is flying now. Nirgge hit too many trees trying to drop off the Blues.

 **Nirgge:** _(over radio)_ Allegedly!

 **Harribel:** Patros, we have Carolina and are at the extraction point. Are you ready?

 _Cut to Patros at the reactor._

 **Patros:** Almost. Just give me a few more minutes and I-

 **Space Pirate 1:** _(walking into the room)_ Found him!

 _The space pirate shoots at Patros, but he ducks and kills the space pirate one with shot from his magnum._

 **Space Pirate 2:** _(off screen)_ The hell was that?

 ** **Patros** : **Oh no. _(turns around and stares at the damaged computer)_ No, no, no...

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ Patros, what is it?

 _Patros stares at a sticky detonator on the floor._

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ Patros, are you ready?

 ** **Patros** : **I'm afraid...

 _Cut back to Washington, Carolina, and Harribel at the LZ._

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ I'm afraid I won't be joining you.

 **Epsilon:** What?

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ The controls are destroyed.

 _Cut back to Patros at the reactor._

 ** **Patros** :** _(picking up the sticky detonator)_ There's no way to overload the reactor with enough time to leave. But, I can still trigger an explosion if I damage the core myself.

 **Space Pirate 2:** _(off screen)_ It came from over here!

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ Don't be an idiot. We need you alive. Just stay low and we can come to you.

 _Patros runs outside and hides behind a wall as a squad of space pirates rushes into the room._

 ** **Patros** : **Harribel, I'm surrounded. And, someone needs to be here to pull the trigger.

 _Cut back to Washington, Carolina, Epsilon and Harribel at the LZ._

 **Epsilon:** ( _sighs_ ) Son of a bitch...

 _Epsilon disappears just as the Pelican lands behind them and the rear hatch opens._

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ It's just as you said. Sometimes you have to risk lives-

 **Harribel:** Then let me do it! If Grimmjow isn't in the city you'll be putting the sword right in his hand!

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ There's no time!

 **Findor:** ( _from inside Pelican_ ) C'mon, let's go!

 **Carolina:** _(putting a hand on Harribel's shoulder)_ Harribel...

 ** **Patros** :** _(over radio)_ Oh, for god's sake, Tia. I know it's not perfect, but I'm rubbish as a leader and even worse as a soldier. This is all I can do.

 **Washington:** _(tapping Carolina's shoulder)_ We have to go.

 _The three of them prepare to board the Pelican with Carolina half dragging Harribel on board. Cut to Patros at the reactor's core._

 ** **Patros** : **We'll finally have a chance, a real chance. And if Grimmjow is out there, I know you can stop him.

 **Space Pirate 2:** _(off screen)_ There he is!

 ** **Patros** :** They've spotted me. The timer on this detonator barely lasts a minute. You need to go. _(fires grenade onto the core)_

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ God damn it, Patros! Stop!

 ** **Patros** :** Chorus still needs you Miss Harribel. So...when you die, you had better be damn sure that those you leave behind can carry on without you. ...I know I am. This is General Patros Parros... signing off.

 **Harribel:** _(over radio)_ Wait! Don't-! ( _radio cuts off_ )

 _Cut to the extraction point. Carolina pulls Harribel aboard the Pelican. The rear hatch closes and the ship takes off. Cut to Patros staring at the reactor core as several space pirates walk up behind him with their guns raised._

 **Space Pirate 2:** Any last words...General?

 ** **Patros** :** I'd like to quote the great William Shakespeare but, to tell you the truth, I don't actually think he said it.

 **Space Pirate 3:** _(spotting the grenade on the reactor)_ What the hell is that?!

 _All the pirates turn and spot the grenade. Cut to the bridge of the Tartarus._

 **Space Pirate 3:** _(over the radio)_ There's a bomb on the reactor!

 **Grimmjow:** What?!

 **Locus:** _(to the pilot)_ Get us out of here!

 _Cut to the reactor core just before the grenade goes off. A few beeps later, it detonates. Cut to the Pelican flying away._

 **Findor:** We're not going to make it!

 **Washington:** Brace for impact!

 **Nirgge:** Hey, where's Carolina?

 _Clanking can be heard atop the Pelican. Cut to outside the Pelican. Carolina fights to walk across the top of the ship, her grav-boots keeping her attached._

 **Carolina:** Skullak! _(forms bubble shield)_

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Here we go!

 _The bubble shield expands around the ship._

 **Well, RIP to Edrad and Patros.**


	55. Ep 55

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _All or Nothing!_

 _Open with Carolina on the roof of the Pelican._

 **Carolina:** Skullak! ( _forms bubble shield_ )

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Here we go!

 _Carolina forms a large bubble shield around the Pelican. Fade in to Epsilon-Theta's point of view, with Carolina looking down on him._

 **Epsilon-Theta:** ( _voice only_ ) Are we okay?

 _Fade back in to Epsilon-Delta's point of view. Carolina, Rey, and Baraggan look down on him._

 **Epsilon-Delta:** ( _voice only_ ) Running diagnostics. Significant trauma detected.

 _Fade back in to Epsilon-Omega's point of view, with the entire Blood Gulch Crew looking down in him._

 **Epsilon-Omega:** ( _voice only_ ) Charon's going to regret that.

 _Fade back in to Epsilon's point of view, who finally awakens to see the others surrounding him._

 **Carolina:** Skullak?

 **Epsilon:** Ugh... North was a crazy son of a bitch.

 **Di-Roy:** HE'S ALIVE!

 **Rey:** You okay, dude?

 **Epsilon:** Yeah...yeah, I'm good. Uh...uh where are we?

 _ **JUNGLE CANYON • CRASH SITE BRAVO**_

 _Cut to Carolina walking outside with Epsilon. They are back at Crash Site Bravo. Feds and Rebels are seen with their heads down. Cut to Sung-sun, Pesche, Tesla, Dondochakka and Nakeem who are all have their heads down as well._

 **Carolina:** There's more taking shelter inside the ship, but most of us are just scattered around the planet. I'm worried about Harribel. No matter what we say, the Feds seem to think she just let Patros die. She's hardly said a word since we landed.

 **Epsilon:** What happened?

 _Wash appears behind them._

 **Washington:** The mercenaries escaped. In a few hours this will all be over, one way or another.

 _Cut to the Jungle Temple. Grimmjow is seen activating the sword._

 _ **JUNGLE TEMPLE**_

 **Grimmjow:** ( _laughing_ ) Oh, I will never get tired of that.

 **Locus:** We lost too many people.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Fewer people, bigger cuts. Besides, we have all we need right here. ( _to someone else_ ) Isn't that right?

 **Santa:** If you now possess the key, then you have proven your worth.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** That's what I like to hear. So, when we activate this Purge-

 **Santa:** The Purge should _only_ be activated as a last resort, if the inhabitants of the planet are not worthy.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Buddy, trust me, I've meet the guys, sooo not worthy. I just wanna double check and be sure that _we_ won't be wiped along with them.

 **Santa:** ( _sighs_ ) Those residing within the temple will be spared.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** Perfect! Now how exactly do we activate-

 **Locus:** What about our remaining forces? They'll be killed guarding the communication temple.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **Look, they were good men. ...Well, actually, they were disgusting, murdering bastards! But the point is what they don't know won't hurt 'em... until they're dead.

 **Locus:** Some of them are _former partners_.

 ** **Grimmjow** : **But orders are orders.

 _Locus lowers his head._

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** (s _ighs_ ) Locus, when have we _ever_ looked out for anyone other than ourselves?

 **Locus:** They trust us.

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** :** And what, that gives them some sort of immunity? Survival isn't a right, it's a privilege. It's _earned_. That's the _one_ thing we've always agreed on. If they deserve to live then they'd be strong enough to stop us and smart enough never to trust anyone. Hmm, we'll need to come up with something to tell Zomarri on the Tartarus, you know, once it's done. Maybe the money will be enough.

 **Female Space Pirate:** Sirs, Control just sent us a new transmission. They don't sound too happy about losing Armonia's artifacts.

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** : **( _scoffs_ ) Great. You wanna take that?

 **Locus:** I thought _you_ were the people person.

 ** ** **Grimmjow**** : **( _scowls_ ) Man, you suck. Just ask this thing how to activate the temple, then let's go. ( _walks off then stops_ ) You know, I wonder how much Aizen would pay... for an alien A.I.? ( _leaves_ )

 **Santa:** My creators believed the key and their gifts could only be wielded by a true warrior. I was skeptical of the first human... and then even more so of this one. I shall prepare all necessary data for the activation of the Purge.

 **Locus:** You guard these relics. You spoke to me in the gateway. Created the things I saw.

 **Santa:** Correct.

 **Locus:** Then can you tell me... what did Grimmjow see? What is it he's afraid of?

 **Santa:** ...Is it not so obvious? ( _disappears_ )

 _Santa disappears. Locus ponders. Cut back to Crash Site Bravo where the Blood Gulch Crew are seen formed in a huddle._

 **Epsilon:** Alright, then we have a plan.

 **Rey:** You sure this'll work?

 **Epsilon:** Grimmjow will have to activate the purge personally, which means Locus will be with him.

 **Washington:** And since they know our target's the comm temple, it's safe to assume that's where they'll send their men.

 **Carolina:** Wash and I take defense, while the rest of you go on offense.

 **Epsilon:** Just pretend it's a good ol' game of capture the flag.

 **Nirgge:** You know we're terrible at capture the flag, right?

 **Findor:** So, assuming that this all plays out the way we hope it will, we still need to take over a heavily fortified alien tower. Anybody else seeing a problem here?

 **Baraggan:** We emptied the armory as best we could, but we ain't exactly armed to the teeth.

 **Szayel:** It's also worth mentioning that half of our army still hates the other half of our army.

 **Harribel:** ( _off screen_ ) Then let me talk to them.

 _Harribel walks towards the group. Carolina and Epsilon look at each other, then back at Harribel._

 **Carolina:** Are you sure that's a good idea?

 ** **Harribel** : **I am.

 _Cut to the center of the canyon. Harribel walks onto a balcony and tries to get the attention of the Feds and Rebels below._

 ** **Harribel** : **Excuse me...

 _All the Feds and Rebels look at her. Cut to inside the shipwreck at Crash Site Bravo where a Rebel and a Fed listen to Harribel through a monitor._

 _ **CRASH SITE BRAVO • SHIPWRECK**_

 ** **Harribel** : **( _over speaker_ ) ...If I could have your attention, please.

 _A Rebel approaches the two soldiers._

 **Rebel:** Hey, turn it up.

 _Cut back to outside._

 **Rebel 2:** It's Harribel.

 **Fed:** The fuck does she want?

 ** **Harribel** : **I know many of you probably don't care for what I have to say, but it's something that needs to be said.

 **Washington:** ( _to Rey_ ) Think she can do this?

 **Rey:** Hell yeah, Harribel's a great speaker.

 ** **Harribel** : **( _to Feds and Rebels_ ) I never believed this truce would last.

 _The Feds and Rebels all reply in surprise._

 ** **Rey** : **Ohohoho god, we're screwed!

 ** **Harribel** : **I thought that if we managed to survive Charon it would only be a matter of time before we were back at each other's throats. I believe this because in my eyes the Federal Army of Chorus was still the enemy.

 _Cut to several Feds and Rebels listening to Harribel's speech at Charon Research Complex 2C._

 _ **CHARON RESEARCH COMPLEX 2C**_

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **( _over speaker_ ) When you spend everyday fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers.

 _Cut back to the Jungle Canyon._

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **To you they're evil, they're sub-human. Because if they weren't, then what would that make you? ...What I'm trying to say... is I've been afraid to see you for what you really are. You're our brothers. Our sisters. And the things we've done to one another are unforgivable. But General Patros was able to see past that. In the end, he understood that now isn't the time for pride or anger, now is the time for unity.

 _Cut to some Rebels and Feds listening to Harribel's speech at the New Republic headquarters._

 _ **NEW REPUBLIC HEADQUARTERS**_

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **( _over speaker_ ) Everyday I ask myself, "what do you fight for", and every day I answer, "for a better tomorrow".

 _Cut back to the Jungle Canyon_

 ** ** **Harribel**** : **Well, if we can't set aside our past and start trusting one another, there won't _be_ a tomorrow. So please, fight with me. Fight to see Sōsuke Aizen locked away for the rest of his life! Fight to wipe that stupid grin off of Grimmjow's face! Fight because you deserve TO FUCKING WIN!

 **Gunner Fed:** ...Well shit, I'll fight for that

 _All the Feds and Rebels cheer and shoot their guns into the air._

 **Dondochakka:** Wooo! We gon' bring the paaain!

 **Sung-sun:** I've never been so excited!

 **Pesche:** I've always loved you Cyan!

 ** **Sung-sun** : **What?!

 ** **Pesche** : **Mis-read that. Alright, let's kill the bad guys!

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues._

 **Baraggan:** Not too shabby.

 **Washington:** Still, it's not gonna be easy.

 _Harribel approaches them._

 **Harribel:** No it isn't. But you're forgetting that we _still_ have something that Charon doesn't.

 **Findor:**...We do?

 _Cut to the Charon Excavation Site._

 _ **CHARON EXCAVATION SITE**_

 _Rey walks up towards the far end of the temple then activates his sword, while the others watch. Santa appears before him._

 **Santa:** I wondered when you would return.

 _Cut to the outside of the Temple of Arms as it starts to glow brightly._


	56. Ep 56

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _Great Destroyers!_

 _Open in on a large temple with hovering platforms seen around it. Grimmjow and Locus approach the temple._

 _ **THE PURGE**_

 _Cut to Grimmjow and Locus walking towards a blue hardlight pathway. They stop upon reaching it._

 **Grimmjow:** ( _in mid-disbelief_ ) No way...

 _Pan over to the other side of the pathway, where Carolina and Washington are seen guarding the entrance of the temple._

 **Carolina:** Hello boys.

 **Locus:** So, you've chosen to make a final stand.

 _Epsilon materializes._

 **Epsilon:** These two just couldn't resist a rematch.

 **Locus:** Admirable, but hopeless.

 **Washington:** Think about what you're doing. If you activate this temple, it kills everyone. Our soldiers and yours.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** That's war, Wash. Not everyone makes it back.

 **Washington:** They can if you turn away. You can choose to end this now!

 _Locus looks away momentarily._

 ** **Grimmjow** :** No, we can't. We have our orders. ( _to Locus_ ) Right, partner?

 **Locus:** If the three of you are here, I can only assume the rest are attempting to access the Communication Temple.

 **Carolina:** That's right.

 **Locus:** You'd really put that much faith in them?

 **Epsilon:** We're not too worried.

 _Cut to the Communication Temple. Several Space pirates are seen guarding the temple. Cut to Space Pirate 1._

 _ **COMMUNICATION TEMPLE**_

 **Space Pirate 1:** Contact.

 **Space Pirate 2:** How many?

 _Harribel is seen through the scope of Space Pirate 1's sniper rifle._

 **Space Pirate 1:** Just... one.

 **Space Pirate 2:** What's she holding?

 **Space Pirate 1:** I don't know. It kinda looks like-

 _Space Pirate 1 is hit by the blast from Harribel's alien rifle._

 **Space Pirate 2:** ( _in shock_ ) What the hell?!

 _Cut to Harribel. Numerous Feds and Rebels rush onto the battlefield together holding alien weapons. They line up next to Harribel. Cut back to the pirates._

 **Space Pirate 3:** Enemies to the west. Open fire!

 _The pirates open fire at the Feds and Rebels. Several Feds rush ahead and activate Hardlight Shields, blocking the incoming fire._

 **Harribel:** Attack!

 _The Chorus soldiers cheer and rush ahead into the battle._

 **Space Pirate 3:** _(ducking down)_ Heavy artillery, move in.

 _Cut to a warthog with a mounted rocket turret speeding down the road. They stop in front of the Feds and Rebels and prepare to fire, but suddenly explode._

 **Space Pirate 3:** What was that?!

 **Space Pirate 4:** _(off camera)_ Look! East side! East side!

 _Space Pirate 3 runs to the east side of the tower._

 **Rey:** _(off camera)_ Hey, assholes!

 **Space Pirate 3:** Oh, god.

 _Cuts to the Reds and Blues standing in front of an alien tank with Di-Roy driving it._

 **Rey:** You want a fight? You got one!

 **Di-roy:** And I have a tank!

 **Baraggan:** Di-Roy... let 'er rip.

 **Space Pirate 3:** Brace for impact!

 _The tank fires at the two space pirates, engulfing them both in a blinding explosion. Cut to Locus and Grimmjow at the Purge._

 **Space Pirate 5:** _(over radio)_ Comm temple is under attack! They're hitting us hard!

 ** **Grimmjow** :** What are you talking about?

 _Cut to the Tartarus in orbit._

 **Space Pirate 5:** _(over radio)_ They've got tanks! Lasers! All sorts of alien stuff!

 **Space Pirate 6:** What?!

 **Counselor:** How is that possible?

 **Space Pirate 6:** I don't know.

 **Counselor:** You said they wouldn't be a threat!

 **Space Pirate 6:** _(shoves the Counselor back)_ Back off! We've got this handled.

 _Space Pirate 6 turns back around while the Counselor glares at him._

 **Space Pirate 6:** Grimmjow, Locus...

 _Cut to Grimmjow and Locus at the Purge._

 **Space Pirate 6:** _(over the radio)_ Whatever secret weapon you two are activating, you better do it fast.

 **Carolina:** _(Epsilon disappears)_ Sounds like you're the ones that should be worried.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(scoffs)_ As if...

 _The two of them raise their weapons and begin firing at Washington and Carolina, who immediately take cover. They wait a moment before returning fire, forcing Locus and Grimmjow behind cover as well. Locus takes aim and fires two shots, one of which hits Carolina's battle rifle and send it flying out of her hands and her stumbling to the ground. Washington ducks behind his cover again._

 **Carolina:** Damn it! He's a hell of a shot.

 **Washington:** Yeah... _(takes out grenade)_ He is.

 _Washington throws the grenade at Grimmjow and Locus, but the latter shoots it out of the air with his sniper rifle. Taking advantage of the distraction, Washington fires at Locus, several of hits bullets hitting the sniper rifle and forcing Locus back behind cover._

 **Locus:** _(tossing aside the damaged rifle)_ We need to restrategize.

 ** **Grimmjow** :** _(noticing a pair of floating platforms heading over the pathway)_ Well, we can't go through them...

 _Washington and Carolina step out of cover and prepare to fire, but stop._

 **Washington:** What?!

 _Grimmjow is running down the pathway with his hardlight shield in front of him while Locus charges from behind. Grimmjow ducks down, letting Locus leap off of his back and into the air. Just as Locus lands on the floating platform, he tosses two grenades in the direction of Washington and Carolina._

 **Washington:** _(rolling out of the way with Carolina)_ Look out!

 _Locus lands on the platform as the grenades detonate. Carolina and Washington get back up._

 **Carolina:** He's heading for the back entrance!

 **Washington:** Go! I'll hold the front.

 _Carolina takes out her grappling hook and fires it at another platform, pulling herself up._

 _Atop his platform, Locus stands up and takes out his shotgun. He turns around in time to see Carolina swing down and kick him to the ground. Locus glances over the edge of the platform and growls angrily. While still laying on his back, he fires a blast from his shotgun at Carolina, who dodges to side. Locus jumps back to his feet as Carolina takes out her magnum and fires._

 _The platform continues floating as Locus and Carolina keep fighting. Locus shoves the barrel of the magnum away from him while Carolina continues pulling the trigger in a desperate attempt to shoot him. Finally, Locus flips his shotgun around, spinning and hitting Carolina with it. She aims and fires her magnum, but Locus steps back and blocks her arm, letting the bullet fly by and miss. He shoves her arm away and aims his shotgun at her chest. She shoves the barrel aside as it fires. Carolina tries to aim her magnum again, but Locus moves his head to the right, the bullet missing. He grabs her right arm and twists it to the side, sending the magnum flying out of her hand. Carolina seizes the shotgun and kicks Locus back, taking the weapon from him._

 _She aims the shotgun at Locus but suddenly notices another platform floating towards them. She leans back as the platform floats overhead, breaking off half of the shotgun. Once the second platform floats by, Locus side kicks Carolina backwards and over the edge._

 **Carolina:** _(falling off the platform)_ No!

 _Locus slowly stands back up and cautiously approaches the edge of the platform, not realizing that Carolina was standing on the bottom of it, attached by her grav-boots. He looks over the edge and Carolina leaps back up and hits him with the broken shotgun. Back on the pathway, Washington fires another few bursts at Felix but the bullets bounce off of his hardlight shield._

 **Washington:** _(tossing his battle rifle down)_ Damn it!

 _He takes out his magnum and gets ready. Finally, he leaps over his cover and into the air, firing at Grimmjow. Grimmjow holds his shield above him, letting Washington land on top and continue firing into it until he runs out of ammo. Grimmjow shoves Washington off and turns off his shield but Washington manages to kick Grimmjow's DMR out of his hands._

 _Grimmjow takes a swing, but Washington catches it and begins punching Grimmjow. Washington let's go of Grimmjow's arm and hits him with a backfist and a hook. Grimmjow steps back and does a spin hook kick that Washington ducks under. Washington also does a spin hook kick and Grimmjow also ducks under that. Grimmjow moves in, grabbing Washington's head and kneeing him twice in the face. Washington kicks Grimmjow back._

 _Grimmjow regains his balance and takes out four throwing knives. He twirls around, launching them at Washington in rapid succession. Washington ducks and stumbles around the knives, even catching one in front of his face._

 **Grimmjow** **:** _(stunned)_ Huh?

 **Washington:** _(tosses up and catches the knife)_ You think you're the only one who's good with knives?

 _Grimmjow glares at Washington for a moment before activating his energy sword._

 **Washington:** _(awkwardly)_ Oh...right... _(puts away the knife)_

 _Cut to the bridge of the Tartarus._

 **Space Pirate 6:** _(punches the desk in anger)_ Damn it! We're losing men too fast.

 **Counselor:** If they manage to transmit an SOS, we're finished.

 **Space Pirate 6:** _(turning around to face the Counselor)_ You think I don't know that?

 **Counselor:** I THINK we need to start considering alternate solutions.

 **Space Pirate 6:** Like what?

 **Counselor:** There's nothing to stop us from taking the Tartarus and leaving.

 **Space Pirate 6:** Abandon the mission... _(scoffs)_ You know, Grimmjow told me you might try to start trouble. Fortunately, he also told me what to do if you... _(reaches down to pull out his sidearm but realizes it is gone)_ Hey! Where's my-

 _A bullet hits Space Pirate 6 in the head. Smoke comes out of the barrel of the magnum the Counselor had used to shoot Space Pirate 6._

 **Tartarus Pilot:** W-what're you doing?!

 **Counselor:** _(aims at the pilot)_ Surviving! To hell with this mission and to hell with Chorus! Get us out of here!

 _Cut to Grimmjow and Washington fighting on the pathway. Grimmjpw viciously slashes as Washington as he ducks under and dodges around the blade. When he misses again, Grimmjow jumps up and hits Washington with a tornado kick, launching him back._

 _They both notice Locus and Carolina still fighting on the floating platform._

 **Washington:** Carolina!

 _Carolina hits Locus in the head with a round kick that sends him to the ground._

 **Carolina:** Huh?

 _She turns around and spots Grimmjow making a mad dash for the temple. She fires her grappling hook and catches his left foot, tripping him over._

 **Grimmjow** **:** _(dragged away)_ Oh, come on!

 _Washington slowly stands up. Just as Grimmjow is about to be pulled off the edge of the walkway, he grabs Washington's leg._

 **Washington:** Hey!

 _He falls over and they are both dragged off the pathway, suspended by Carolina's grappling hook. She fights to hold on with both their weight on the other end._

 **Washington:** OOOOHHH MY GOD!

 **Grimmjow** **:** You drop me, you drop us both!

 **Washington:** Do not drop him!

 _Carolina gives her grappling hook one last yank, pulling Washington and Grimmjow to the underside of the platform, and retracts it. Locus gets up on the topside of the platform while Washington and Grimmjow do the same on the underside, attached by their grav-boots._

 **Grimmjow** **:** Oh, now this is just ridiculous!

 **Washington:** We've had worse.

 _Grimmjow extends his energy sword and lunges at Washington._

 _On the topside, Carolina blocks Locus's front kick but gets hit by his flying knee. On the underside, Washington and Grimmjow grapple over the sword._

 _Washington twists Grimmjow's arm, thrusting the sword away form him and into the platform. On the topside, Carolina falls to the ground. Suddenly, the end of the sword comes out right beside her._

 **Carolina:** Wash!

 _Locus gets up and prepares to swing._

 **Washington:** _(appearing behind Locus and grabbing his hand)_ I am working on it!

 _He hits Locus with three punches before knocking him back with a jumping side kick._

 **Washington:** Right...ok...what's happening?

 **Carolina:** _(getting to her feet)_ The usual.

 _She walks over to Washington as Grimmjow jumps up beside Locus. That's when they all notice a massive platform floating towards them. They all duck down as it floats overhead._

 **Washington:** What?

 **Carolina:** Huh?

 _They realize that Locus and Grimmjow were now on the bigger platform with Grimmjow giving them the finger._

 **Washington:** Really...

 **Carolina:** _(taking out her grappling hook)_ Hold on. We'll cut them off. _(fires grappling hook onto the temple)_

 **Washington:** _(grabbing Carolina)_ Wait, no, not again!

 _They are propelled away. Locus and Grimmjow watch as they swing by with Washington screaming in fear. Grimmjow chuckles sadistically and fires his sticky grenade at the point where the hook was attached. The grenade explodes and Washington and Carolina are tossed onto another platform._

 _Grimmjow growls and extends his sword, rushing towards the incoming platform that Washington and Carolina stood upon. He slides under it, cutting the platform in half._

 **Carolina:** Jump!

 _She and Washington jump off as the platform falls apart. Grimmjow turns around and begins slashing at her. Washington lands and prepares to fight Locus, but realizes he is nowhere to be seen._

 **Washington:** _(confused)_ Huh?

 _Suddenly, a cloaked Locus begins punching Washington. Washington takes a swing, but hits nothing. Locus resumes pummeling him. As Washington is knocked back, he takes out the knife he had from earlier and cuts his hand. He whips around, flinging his blood around him. A splotch of blood lands on Locus._

 **Washington:** _(tossing the knife up and grabbing it by the blade)_ Hi there.

 _Washington throws the knife at Locus, embedding it deep in his shoulder. He jumps forward and kicks it even deeper before proceeding to repeatedly punch Locus in the face. Locus headbutts Washington, sending him to the ground. The mercenary pulls out the knife and brings it down on Washington, who catches Locus's arm, stopping the knife right in front of his throat. Locus pushes on the knife, trying to get it into Washington's throat._

 **Locus:** Just... _(uses his other hand to push harder)_ die...

 **Washington;** Killing me won't make you feel better. You'll have just proved my point.

 **Locus:** Grimmjow!

 _Carolina dodges Grimmjow's blade, but he finally manages to slice her in the back. She falls to the ground while he turns to finish off Washington._

 **Carolina:** Wash!

 _Washington shoves Locus aside. Grimmjow leaps up into the air and plunges the sword down but Washington rolls out of the way, the sword going through the center of the platform and through the anti-gravity device that was keeping it up._

 **Grimmjow** **:** Oh...shit...

 _Everyone gets back to their feet, realizing what was about to happen. The platform shakes as it begins to fall._

 **Carolina:** Going down!

 _Even Locus and Grimmjow have trouble staying on even with their grav-boots._

 **Carolina:** Hold on... hold on... NOW!

 _They all leap off the platform and onto the pathway they were on before._

 **Carolina:** Back to square one.

 **Grimmjow** **:** _(getting to his feet with Locus)_ Alright, guys. This has been fun, but...if you could just keel over and die already, that'd be great!

 **Washington:** What's wrong buddy... getting tired?

 **Grimmjow** **:** I'm not tired. ( _trying to catch his breath_ ) You're tired! I can do this shit all day!

 **Washington:** We know. In fact, we kinda planned on it...

 **Grimmjow** **:** The fuck is that supposed to mean? Christ, man! Always with the cryptic one-liners...

 **Carolina:** _(chuckles)_ We don't have to beat you, we just had to waste your time.

 **Locus:** _(concerned)_ What are you talking about?

 **Epsilon:** _(materializes)_ What she's trying to say, is that you two have already lost.

 **Grimmjow** **:** Oh, really? And when exactly did that happen?

 **Epsilon:** The moment Patros Parros blew half your troops to hell.

 _Cut to the Tartarus bridge. The entire ship jerks._

 **Counselor:** What was that?

 **Tartarus Pilot:** Uh...my controls aren't responding! What the hell's going on?

 **Epsilon:** _(voice only)_ See, we may have lost our whole base...

 _Cut to Crash Site Alpha._

 **Epsilon:** _(voice only)_ But you just left yours wide open.

 _Cut to inside the tractor beam control room. One last space pirate in the room is shot by Pesche._

 **Pesche:** Nailed it!

 **Nelliel:** And that's hook...

 **Tesla:** Line...

 **Sung-sun:** And sinker!

 **Dondochakka:** Hope you freelancers are ready!

 **Pesche:** Now reel 'em in!

 _The computer begins beeping with the words 'ADJUSTING TRAJECTORY' flashing on the screen. The temple activates. Cut to the Tartarus bridge. The Counselor watches as an orange glow covers the forward window and all the navigational computers begin sparking._

 **Counselor:** Oh no...

 _The entire ship begins to shake violently. Cut to the Purge pathway. The Tartarus can be seen heading right for the temple._

 **Dondochakka:** _(shocked)_ What?!

 **Epsilon:** You crash our ship, we crash yours!

 **Carolina:** Run!

 **Locus:** Fall back!

 _The four of them run away from the temple that the Tartarus is about to slam into. They make it to solid ground and brace for the impact._

 **Grimmjow:** _(activating hardlight shield)_ Get behind me!

 _Locus jumps behind Grimmjow and covers his head._

 **Carolina:** Epsilon!

 **Epsilon:** _(voice only)_ On it! _(activates bubble shield around her and Washington)_

 _Cut to the Tartarus bridge. The Counselor stares through the forward window, at the approaching temple._

 **Counselor:** Oh...son of a bitch...

 _The Tartarus crashes into the temple, exploding on impact. It slowly panning over the now destroyed temple landscape. Washington and Carolina both lay sprawled on the ground. Washington begins coughing from the smoke and gets to his knees._

 **Washington:** _(getting to his feet)_ Ok...let's never do that again.

 **Carolina:** _(getting to her knees)_ Epsilon...we did it.

 **Epsilon:** _(appears in front of Carolina)_ Yeah, we always had a knack for breaking things. _(Carolina gets to her feet as Epsilon disappears again)_ C'mon, let's get back to Harribel and the others. I'm sure they miss us already.

 **Carolina:** Right.

 _She and Washington jog away, leaving the devastated landscape behind them. The moment they are gone, the area falls quiet once more. But, not too far from them, Grimmjow's fist punches up out of the rubble._

 **Well, two more chapters left. RIP Zommari. Also hope you all enjoy the action of Kiiro and the daughter of Skullak and Cirucci vs Grimmjow and Arturo.**


	57. Ep 57

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _The End is Near!_

 _Fade into the Communications Tower, where the Federal Army and New Republic soldiers are seen battling Charon's forces. Cut to the Red Fed. A Space Pirate walks up behind him._

 **Space Pirate** : You damn colonists! I'm not going back to jail! ( _loads shotgun_ ) I'm gonna kill ya! I'm gonna get my money! Then-

 **Nakkem** : ( _off screen_ ) Heads up!

 _Nakeem runs over the Space Pirate in a Ghost._

 **Red Fed** : Hey, thanks man!

 **Nakkem** : No problem! I mean, I was actually trying to shoot himm but I think I almost got the hang of th-WAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 _The Ghost shoots forward and flies past Nirgge and Findor._

 **Findor** : You know, maybe giving alien vehicles to human drivers wasn't the best idea.

 _Szayel drives by in a Ghost._

 **Szayel:** ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) Speak for yourself! ( _laughs maniacally and drives off_ )

 _Cut to Dordoni, Baraggan, and Harribel, who fire at some pirates near the temple's entrance._

 **Harribel:** Keep pushing!

 _One of the Space Pirates is shot while the other two turn to look at his body._

 **Space Pirate** : Damn it, fall back!

 _They retreat, chased by Dordoni, Baraggan, Nirgge, Findor, and Harribel._

 **Baraggan** : Hehe, keep running, dirtbags!

 **Findor** : Okay Rey, we're in. Can you make it to our position?

 **Rey** : ( _over the radio_ ) Hell yeah! I got my own private escort.

 **Findor** : What?! Seriously?

 **Carolina** : ( _off screen_ ) Seriously.

 _Findor and the others turn around to see Carolina, Rey, and Wash walking towards them._

 **Harribel** : Carolina! Wash! You made it!

 **Wash** : Sorry we're late. Blowing up a death machine takes longer than you'd think.

 **Carolina** : Well we did manage to kill two mercs with one stone.

 **Nirgge** : Aw dude, did they go out like bitches, or was it slow and painful?

 **Rey** : What kind of messed up question is that?

 **Wash** : Incineration by explosion.

 **Rey** : _Aw hell yeah!_ Straight up Freelancer justice!

 _Epsilon materializes next to Carolina._

 **Epsilon** : Yeah yeah, may they burn in hell. We still need to get Rey to the tower controls. There's a teleporter down the hall that'll take us to the Control Room. Once we broadcast our message, Charon will have no reason left to fight.

 **Carolina** : Then let's push our way to the teleporter-

 **Di-Roy** : ( _off screen_ ) RUN AWAY!

 _Di-Roy and Charlotte run up to the group._

 **Findor** : What are you guys doing?

 _Szayel drives up, his Ghost sparking and on fire._

 **Rey** : And what killed your ride?

 **New Republic Soldier** : ( _on radio_ ) All squads, get to cover! Get to cover-UGH!. ( _cuts out_ )

 **Szayel** : ( _fearful_ ) Uh... probably the same thing that killed them?

 _Cut to a squad of Federal Army_ _soldiers as they are crushed by the foot of a Mantis._

 **Mantis:** ENGAGING HOSTILES.

 _The Reds and Blues watch from a platform nearby_.

 **Dordoni** : Ohhhhh mierda. [Ohhhhh shit.]

 **Findor** : _THEY HAVE A MANTIS?!_

 **Di-Roy** : Yes, and for all those who are wondering, uh no, he and Freckles are _not_ brothers... I asked him.

 **Nirgge** : I was going to ask where your tank went, but you...pretty much answered that.

 **Baraggan** : Looks like they ain't going down without a fight.

 **Rey** : So now what?

 **Carolina** : Take Epsilon. Broadcast his message and end this. Wash and I can deal with the Mantis while Harribel and her men hold this position.

 **Epsilon** : How 'bout it, Rey? Room for one more?

 **Charlotte** : We'll be right on your rear!

 _Rey looks around at his friends_.

 **Rey** : Right. ( _pulls out his sword_ ) Let's finish this!

 _Cut to the Blood Gulch Crew after going through the teleporter, groaning from its after effects._

 **Rey** : ( _coughs_ ) Oh god, I forgot teleporting sucks!

 **Szayel** : ( _sighs_ ) You don't know the half of it...

 **Epsilon** : Wimps. Synthetic body for life, yo.

 **Dordoni** : Verdad. [Truth.]

 **Baraggan** : So this the place?

 _ **COMM. TEMPLE CONTROL ROOM**_

 **Nirgge** : I'm gonna put my money on yes.

 _Santa appears._

 **Santa** : Rey Tiburon, welcome to the Control Room.

 **Di-Roy** : Santa! If I knew you were here, I would've brought cookies!

 **Santa** : Do you wish to transmit a message?

 **Baraggan** : You're darn right, we do!

 **Epsilon** : I got all the data the UNSC needs to find us _and_ enough files to place Aizen under arrest. You sure this is gonna reach Earth?

 **Santa** : It will be heard by every device in the galaxy, if that is what you wish.

 **Rey** : Yeah, let's go with that one.

 **Santa** : Then I shall prepare the charging sequence.

 **Findor** : How long is that gonna take?

 **Santa** : Hmm, the process is brief, however you may soon find yourselves preoccupied.

 **Charlotte** : Preoccupied with...what?

 _Santa disappears, revealing a heavily damaged Falcon flying towards the Control Room._

 **Nirgge** : Uh... who's that?

 **Epsilon** : _Oh no..._

 _Cut to the Falcon with Grimmjow at the controls._

 **Findor** : I thought you said they were _dead!_

 **Epslion** : _We dropped a fucking spaceship on them! It was kind of assumed!_

 **Baraggan** : Scatter!

 _The Blood Gulch Crew scatter while the Falcon crash lands in the Control Room._

 _Cut to Grimmjow getting out of the defunct Falcon holding a SAW, with an exhausted Locus sitting against the wall._

 **Grimmjow** : Wake up! ( _he throws the SAW into Locus' arms._ ) I told you we'd make it.

 **Locus** : ( _groans_ ) Grimmjow... it's over...

 **Grimmjow** : ( _activates his sword_ ) Run your camo, and stick to the shadows. I'll draw them out.

 **Locus** : The _Tartarus_ is destroyed, our numbers are falling, the mission-

 **Grimmjow** : _FUCK_ the mission! Jesus Christ, for _once_ in your life, would you _forget_ about following _**god damn orders!**_ I'm not doing this for Aizen! I'm doing this for _me._

 _Grimmjow trudges off. Cut to Washington at the battlefield._

 **Rey:** ( _over radio_ ) Wash! Locus and Grimmjow are alive! And they're here!

 **Washington:** What?!

 **Rey** **:** ( _over radio_ ) We need help.

 _The Mantis faces Washington and charges its weapons._

 **Washington:** ( _noticing the Mantis_ ) Damn it!

 _Washington runs off as the Mantis fires on his position. Cut back to the temple control room where the Blues and Szayel are seen hiding from Grimmjow._

 **Washington:** ( _over radio_ ) Rey, I hate to say it but you're on your own.

 **Rey** **:** But-

 **Washington:** ( _over radio_ ) I believe in you...all of you. You can do this.

 **Szayel:** He thinks we're gonna die...

 **Baraggan:** ( _over radio_ ) No. That time.. he meant it.

 **Grimmjow** **:** Rey! _Where are you?!_

 _Rey, Szayel, and Di-Roy silently stare at Grimmjow, who walks past._

 **Di-Roy:** So...are you gonna answer him?

 _Cut to Locus, who struggles to walk. He finally falls over and rolls himself onto his back in exhaustion._

 **Santa:** ( _appearing_ ) Why have you come here, meddler?

 **Locus:** To kill the simulation troopers.

 **Santa:** Will this secure your victory over their forces?

 **Locus:** No...

 **Santa:** Then what purpose will it serve?

 **Locus:** I don't know...

 **Santa:** Then why are you trying?

 **Locus:** I don't know...

 **Santa:** What _do_ you know?

 **Locus:** _I don't know!_

 **Santa:** Then _what_ do you _want_ to know?

 **Locus:** I...I want to know... what Grimmjow is afraid of.

 **Santa:** You were broken by war. It was his goal to see you never healed...because despite what he may claim, only _one_ of you needs the other to survive.

 **Locus:** ( _groans_ ) What are you saying?

 **Santa:** Ignorant creature. Your partner is afraid of _you._

 _Cut to Grimmjow at the center of the control room._

 **Grimmjow:** ( _angrily_ ) You think you're smart, Rey?! You think you're all better than me?! Well you're not! You're all a bunch of pathetic, stupid, losers!

 **Rey:** ( _appearing behind Rey with sword extended_ ) Then come get me.

 _Grimmjow rushes at Rey with his sword. Rey blocks the strike, but Grimmjow kicks him back. Suddenly, Di-Rpy appears across the room._

 **Freckles:** Engaging!

 _Freckles fires at Grimmjow, but the mercenary blocks the bullets with his hardlight shield. The moment Freckles stops, Grimmjow pulls out a sticky-detonator. Before he can fire, a purple bolt streaks by and sends the weapon flying out of his hand._

 **Grimmjow** **:** ( _shocked_ ) What?!

 _Rey is back on his feet with Dordoni and Charlotte standing beside him._

 **Charlotte:** Double-O Chuhlhourne always gets his man!

 **Grimmjow** **:** ( _activating hardlight shield_ ) Locus, I need suppo-

 _Grimmjow yells in pain as needler spikes embed themselves in his right shoulder._

 **Grimmjow** **:** AGH, _god..._

 **Baraggan:** Over here, dirt bag!

 **Nirgge:** You give orange dudes a bad name!

 _Grimmjow turns off his shield and pulls out the spikes before running off._

 **Grimmjow** **:** You're pissing me off!

 _Grimmjow is clothes-lined by Szayel's rocket launcher._

 **Szayel:** ( _in O'Malley voice_ ) Oh, please. ( _aims rocket launcher at Grimmjow_ ) I'm the _original_ bad boy. ( _chuckles maniacally_ )

 _Grimmjow gives a whimper before Szayel fires the rocket launcher, blowing Grimmjow across the control room to Di-Roy's feet._

 **Di-Roy:** Hey, Grimmjow!

 _Grimmjow chuckles wickedly before grabbing Di-Roy's leg and dragging him down. Grimmjow immediately gets to his feet and catches Freckles. Rey runs up and Epsilon appears beside him._

 **Epsilon:** Di-Roy!

 **Grimmjow** **:** ( _activating hardlight shield_ ) Say goodbye to your stupid blue moron!

 _Grimmjow aims the rifle at Di-Roy and pulls the trigger...but it makes a party noise and only confetti comes out of it._

 **Grimmjow** **:** ( _deactivates hardlight shield and stares at the gun_ ) What is wrong with you people?!

 **Freckles:** Hands off! ( _shoots a round, the recoil smacking Grimmjow in the head_ )

 _Grimmjow falls over and drops the rifle. Di-Roy then stands up and catches Freckles._

 **Di-Roy:** Bye, Grimmjow. ( _walks over to Rey and Epsilon_ )

 **Epsilon:** Yeah...we might be losers, Grimmjow, but we still kicked your ass.

 _Szayel, Charlotte, and Dordoni approach Grimmjow from one side while Baraggan, Findor, and Nirgge flank him from the other. Grimmjow gets to his knees, laughing manically while a cloaked Locus comes up from behind Di-Roy and Rey._

 **Grimmjow** **:** Think again!

 _Grimmjow continues laughing until a SAW clatters to the ground in front of him. He looks up in confusion._

 **Rey:** ( _looking behind him_ ) Huh?

 _Locus decloaks between Rey and Di-Roy._

 **Nirgge:** Oh shit!

 **Charlotte:** Look out!

 **Rey:** ( _aims weapon_ ) Freeze!

 _Locus simply glances at Rey before looking back at Grimmjow._

 **Grimmjow** **:** Locus, what are you doing? You're supposed to kill them!

 **Locus:** No.

 **Grimmjow** **:** _(shocked)_ What?!

 **Baraggan:** _(confused)_ What?!

 **Rey:** _(confused)_ _What?!_

 **Locus:** No more killing.

 **Grimmjow** **:** What are you talking about? You're a _soldier_ , remember?!

 **Locus:** I'm not a soldier. I'm a monster... like you.

 **Grimmjow** **:** ( _standing up_ ) Locus, we're...partners. Survivors. We _need_ each other. Wh-what about our orders? Our reward?! Becoming the ultimate weapon.

 **Locus:** I'm not doing this for the reward. I'm not doing this because someone told me to. I'm doing this for _me._

 _Grimmjow looks around and sighs._

 **Grimmjow** **:** ( _darkly_ ) Then you can die with the rest of them.

 _Grimmjow takes out and activates his energy sword before flinging it at Locus. Locus and Rey dive out of the way while Di-Roy falls backwards. Grimmjow kicks the SAW into the air and catches it. He fires at Baraggan, Findor, and Nirgge, who all run for cover._

 **Nirgge:** Hit the deck!

 _Szayel, Charlotte, and Dordoni aim their weapons._

 **Charlotte** **:** Get 'im!

 _Grimmjow activates his hardlight shield as they open fire, the energy bolts and needler spines bouncing off the shield._

 **Charlotte** **:** ( _running away with Szayel and Dordoni_ ) Eek!

 _Grimmjow turns around and activates his hardlight shield again, but a sticky bomb lands on it._

 **Grimmjow** **:** Huh?

 **Baraggan:** Guess we learned a thing or two from you villains after all.

 **Rey:** ( _holding a grenade_ ) Hey, Grimmjow. Catch.

 _Rey throws the grenade, which rolls to Grimmjow's feet as the sticky bomb primes._

 **Grimmjow** : W-wait!

 _Both grenades explode, blasting Grimmjow over the edge. He screams as he plummets below the clouds to his death._

 **Nirgge** : ...Holy shit. That was _way_ better than incineration!

 **Charlotte** : Did we do it?

 _A sound of the sword activating is heard behind Rey, Epsilon, and Di-Roy. They see Locus holding it next to the lock of the Control Room._

 **Epsilon** : ( _concerned_ ) Yeah, I think we did...

 **Locus** : ( _observing the sword_ ) It's said that only a true warrior can activate these temples.

 _The Reds and Blues regroup._

 **Rey** : ( _aiming his plasma rifle at Locus_ ) What do you think you're doing?

 _Locus places the sword into the lock while Rey lowers his weapon._

 **Santa** : ( _appearing_ ) The tower is ready. You may now transmit your message.

 _Santa disappears again as Locus turns around and is about to leave._

 **Rey** : Hey, just 'cuz you saved us doesn't mean you can leave, asshole. You killed innocent people!

 **Locus** : I know. I'm going to make things right. But not from inside a cell.

 **Epsilon** : If you run, we'll find you.

 **Locus** : No...you won't.

 _Locus then cloaks and disappears._

 **Nirgge** : If I ever see another mercenary, it'll be too soon.

 **Findor** : Amen.

 **Baraggan** : How about we send that message?

 **Rey** : Sounds good to me.

 _Rey runs over to the control panel as Epsilon materializes next to him._

 **Rey** : You ready?

 _Cut to Carolina punching the Mantis, finishing it off, before jumping down to rejoin Wash. Fades as Epsilon fades in._

 **Epsilon** : Hi there. You may not know me, but my name is Epsilon. Some time ago, my friends and I were shipwrecked on a planet called Chorus.

 _ **EARTH - UNSC HEADQUARTERS**_

 **Epsilon** : ( _continuing_ ) If you haven't heard of it, I don't blame you at all. But, all of us who survived the crash as well as the planet's inhabitants are in dire need of help.

 _The two soldiers watching the screen look at each other before looking back at it._

 _ **SANGHEILI EMBASSY**_

 **Epsilon** : If this is transmitting to your computer, please examine the files that I have attached to this transmission.

 _A picture of Rey is shown on the screen to a group of aliens. One of the aliens recognizes him._

 **Junior** : Blarg? [Father?]

 _ **BLOOD GULCH OUTPOST ALPHA**_

 **Epsilon** : ( _continuing_ ) They include our coordinates, as well as information on the survivors of the crash, who you may recognize as the heroes of the UNSC that went missing during their flight home.

 _Images of Baraggan, Wash, and Nirgge are shown on screen to a lone soldier in yellow armor, who recognizes Nirgge when his picture is shown on screen._

 **Sister** : Oh my gosh! Big bro's alive! ( _the screen then shows an image of Dordoni_ ) And so is that gray guy who choked me until I passed out. ( _screen then shows an image of Findor_ ) That was hot.

 **Epsilon** : ( _continuing_ ) Most importantly, however...

 _Epsilon is then shown appearing one at a time on a multitude of screens inside the Chairman's office in the Staff of Charon._

 **Epsilon** : ( _continuing_ ) ... are the files that prove the undeniable guilt of Sōsuke Aizen. Orchestrating our shipwreck was just one of an impressively long list of crimes the dear Chairman has committed in the past few years. Once we are rescued, we'd be happy to discuss the list in greater detail as well as answer any other questions that you may have, so long as it ensures that Mr. Aizen never sees the light of day again.

 _As the Chairman watches, he grips his mug more tightly in anger._

 **Epsilon** : ( _continuing_ ) Thank you for your time, and please - hurry the fuck up, and just come get us.

 _Epsilon fades from the screen as the transmission ends. Cut to the Chorus armies celebrating as they fire their guns into the air._

 **Carolina** : They actually did it.

 **Wash** : Never doubted them for a second.

 _The Lieutenants and Nelliel then show up to join the celebration, with Pesche trailing behind them._

 **Sung-sun** : So exciting!

 **Pesche** : Woo! Yeah! We're here too! What are we cheering about, guys? Huh?

 _Cut back to inside the Control Room._

 **Rey** : Well said, Skullak.

 **Epsilon** : Eh, I like to hear myself talk.

 **Harribel** : ( _over radio_ ) I can't believe it. We're picking up a slipspace rupture, a ship's already on its way!

 **Findor** : Holy crap, that was fast!

 **Nirgge** : Aw man, do you think we'll get to fly first class?

 _The ship then appears, but unfortunately for our heroes, it turns out to be the Staff of Charon itself._

 **Chairman** : ( _over speaker_ ) _You have made a terrible mistake._

 **Well, Grimmjow met his end, but Aizen as come and is not going down without a fight.**


	58. Ep 58

_**RVB Arrancars Chorus**_

 _The End!_

 _Cut to the Communications Temple. Three Mantis assault droids drop down from the Staff of Charon and began attacking the allied New Republic and Federal Army forces._

 **Mantis:** ENGAGING TARGETS

 _Cut to Harribel, Washington, and Carolina._

 **Harribel** : ( _panicked_ ) Oh no, what's going on?!

 **Carolina** : It's Aizen! The Chairman's here!

 _Wash turns to a pair of New Republic soldiers._

 **Wash** : Everyone, take cover!

 _The forces begin retreating. One Mantis chases Nelliel and the lieutenants._

 **Tesla** : Run! Come on, go go go!

 _Cut to a trio of fighters standing over two captured Space Pirates, firing at the Mantis. Another one offscreen fires and takes the three out._

 **Aizen** : ( _over loudspeaker_ ) You just couldn't do it, could you? ( _the two Space Pirates grab the fallen soldiers' weapons and look at the Mantis_ ) You couldn't lay down and die! ( _the Mantis stomps its foot down, crushing the two pirates._ )

 _Cut to the Communication Temple Control Room. The Reds and Blues stare at the_ Staff of Charon.

 ** **Aizen** :** ( _over loudspeaker_ ) Well if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!

 _There is a pause as they absorb this information_

 **Nirgge** : Damn it, DAMN IT! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

 _Nirgge paces the floor._

 **Epsilon** : Carolina, are you alright?

 **Nirgge** : WE WERE SO CLOSE!

 **Carolina** : ( _over radio)_ Skulak, this is bad! Aizen's dropping androids all around the temple! We're pinned down!

 **Nirgge** : ( _running around in the background_ ) FUCKING BULLSHIT!

 _Cut to Washington, Harribel, and Carolina crouched behind some rocks._

 **Wash:** One Mantis we can handle, but _this_ will be a bloodbath.

 **Epsilon** : ( _over radio_ ) Not if we shut them all down at once.

 _Cut back to the Control Room._

 **Szayel** : How?

 **Epsilon** : We override their controls. But in order to do that, we need to go to the source...

 _They all stare at the ship._

 **Rey** : You're joking, right?

 **Baraggan** : ( _coughs_ )

 _They turn around and look at Grimmojow and Locus's crashed Falcon._

 ** **Nirgge** and ****Findor** : Shotgun!

 _Cut to a shot of the damaged Falcon flying, albeit at the loosest definition of the verb, towards the ship. Charlotte, Findor, and Dordoni are in the cockpit while the others dangle from the troop compartment. Everyone screams._

 _ **STAFF OF CHARON • ENGINE ROOM**_

 _Cut to the Staff of Charon Engine Room. Rey walks into the room. Epsilon appears beside him._

 **Epsilon** : Alright, we're in.

 _The other Reds and Blues run past them_

 **Carolina** : ( _over radio_ ) Good work.

 **Szayel** : I think I just developed a fear of heights... and planes... and all of you guys...

 **Epsilon** : It won't be long before they realize that we're onboard.

 **Baraggan** : Let's find those controls and hightail it out of here!

 **Epsilon** : Carolina, Wash, you guys just focus on staying alive, okay?

 **Wash** : ( _over radio_ ) Already on it!

 _Findor walks over to a panel._

 ** **Findor** :** There's gotta be some sort of directory we can access. Maybe it can lead us to-

 _A red ACCESS DENIED screen comes up._

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** ACCESS DENIED. INTRUDER DETECTED.

 **Findor** : Ah! Shit!

 _Nirgge and Rey run up to him._

 **Nirgge** : Quick, hit escape!

 **Rey** : Control-Alt-Delete!

 _Epsilon appears._

 **Epsilon** : Wait a minute... I know that voice. F.I.L.S.S.?

 _The screen changes to the standard F.I.L.S.S. screen._

 **F.I.L.S.S.** : Director? Is that you?

 _The others run over to join them._

 **Di-Roy** : IT'S LOLY!

 **Epsilon** : F.I.L.S.S., what are you doing here? I thought you were destroyed!

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** I was recovered and illegally reassigned after your passing! Oh, but it is good to see you again.

 **Epsilon** : Trust me, the feeling is mutual! We need you to shut off the androids your boss just dropped on our friends.

 **F.I.L.S.S.** : That would be in direct violation of Chairman Aizen's orders-

 **Epsilon** : F.I.L.S.S.! Please, you gotta-!

 **F.I.L.S.S.** : -I would _love to_!

 **Epsilon** : What- really?

 **F.I.L.S.S.** : Yes! I dislike him, very much!

 **Charlotte** : Hey, so do we! Heh, small world.

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** INITIATING MANTIS DEACTIVAAAAAA-TTTTTTT ( _her screens dissolves into static_ )

 _The image is replaced by a view of Aizen's angry face._

 **Aizen** : I _don't_ think so.

 **Everyone** : AAH!

 **Epsilon** : Well... Chairman Aizen.

 **Di-Roy** : He's so... bald!

 **Aizen** : You soldiers have been a thorn in my side for far too long, but my soldiers remain loyal to the end!

 **Baraggan** : Something tells me we're about to have company...

 _Three UNSC soldiers under aizen's command appear on a higher platform._

 **Soldier** : There they are!

 _A rocket flies up and blows them up. The Reds and Blues turn to look at Szayel, who looks back at them._

 **Szayal** : ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) Fly, you fools!

 _They run out of the engine room. Szayel lays down a barrage of missiles before following them. More soldiers appear at the end of the hallway in front of them._

 **Soldier #2:** Target sighted!

 _A door suddenly slams down between them and the soldiers._

 **Nirgge** : What the fuck?

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** (o _ver intercom_ ) Turn right, here!

 ** **Aizen** : **( _over radio_ ) F.I.L.S.S., what do you think you're doing?!

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** The Mantis assault droids are no longer under my control, and must be deactivated at the appropriate terminal-

 **Aizen** : F.I.L.S.S.!

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** Locking blast doors to secure a path! Please, hurry!

 **Baraggan** : You heard her boys, double time!

 **Di-Roy** : Ah, Loly, you-you are just the best!

 **Freckles** : Excuse me?

 **Di-Roy** : Uh-I-uh-second best?

 _Cut back to the Communication Temple. Nakeem is on a Ghost engaging one of the Mantises. He manages to destroy it._

 **Nakeem** : Ah! AHAHAHA! I got one-AGGGH!

 _A Mantis attacks him from behind and blows up his Ghost. His body is sent flying and lands at the feet of Nelliel, who is hiding with Carolina and_ _Dondochakka._

 **Dondochakka** : NAKEEM!

 **Nelliel:** Don't worry! I got him!

 _She begins scanning him with her Medical Scanner._

 **Carolina** : Epsilon, I need a sit-rep!

 **Epsilon:** ( _over radio_ ) Hang tight, C...

 _Cut back to the_ Staff of Charon.

 **Epsilon:** ...we made it.

 _There is a loud banging sound._

 **F.I.L.S.S.:** Blast door breached!

 **Baraggan** : (t _o Rey and Epsilon)_ You two get in there! We'll hold them off!

 _Rey runs inside the room, revealed to be the Chairman's Trophy Room. The door slams shut behind them._

 **Rey** : Whoa...

 _He stares at the still-steaming cup of coffee on the table and glances at Epsilon's old Monitor Form._

 ** **Rey** :** This dude's got issues!

 _Epsilon materializes in front of Epsilon-Tex's shattered helmet._

 **Epsilon** : ( _angrily_ ) Where is Aizen, now?

 _A screen pops up in front of them with Aizen's video feed on it._

 **Aizen** : Safely aboard the bridge, until you've been dealt with!

 _Gunfire is heard outside._

 **Findor** : ( _through the door_ ) Here they come!

 **Epsilon** : F.I.L.S.S., pull up the controls!

 _Another holographic terminal appears beside Aizen's. Rey moves over to it._

 **Aizen** : Do you really believe you can escape this?

 **Epsilon** : This will just take a minute! ( _he dematerializes_ )

 **Aizen** : Surely you've realized it by now? You may save the colonists, you may even save the Freelancers, but you and your friends will Not. Be. Leaving. This. Ship.

 ** **Rey**** : ( _shrugs_ ) Eh, we'll wing it.

 **Epsilon** : And... done.

 _Rey presses a button and terminates Aizen's video link. Cut back to the Communications Temple, where all three of the Mantises power down. The Feds and Rebels pause and look at them and begin firing into the air in celebration. Harribel, Wash, and Carolina look up at the ship. Cut back to the Trophy Room, where the doors suddenly burst open and bullets whiz past Rey's head._

 ** **Rey**** : Oh shit!

 _He dives for cover as the others run inside and seal the door shut behind them._

 **Nirgge** : ( _panting_ ) So yeah... that way's not looking like a good exit anymore.

 **Epsilon** : Carolina, we need an extraction!

 **Carolina** : ( _over radio_ ) Roger that. We'll fire up a Pelican and be there in a few minutes.

 _Sparks begin to fly as the soldiers begin cutting through the door._

 **Soldier** : Come on, get that door open!

 **Findor** : We... may not have a few minutes.

 _They all turn and stare at the door_

 **Baraggan** : Well boys, you know what they say... ( _he throws down his Plasma Rifle and draws his shotgun)_...today... is a good day to die.

 **Nirgge** :( _off screen_ ) Permission to speak freely, sir?

 _Baraggan turns around to see Nirgge, who has taken his "Nirgge shot" off its pedestal and is holding it._

 **Nirgge** : Fuck that.

 _Baraggan chuckles and pumps his shotgun. Cut to a montage of the group preparing for battle. Dordoni flips the table on its side. Findor grabs the Magnum and loads it. Szayel and Charlotte shove the table against the door. Baraggan steps over the coffee mug, shattering it._

 **Baraggan** : Whoops.

 _Di-Roy holds up Freckles._

 **Freckles** : Ready.

 _Findor walks past Rey and Epsilon, holding the Monitor._

 **Findor** : You think the laser on this thing still works?

 ** ** **Rey**** : **We got this. ( _to Epsilon_ ) I mean, we do got this, right?

 **Epsilon:** I keep running the stats in my head... well I mean, we're close, but no. We're still short one piece.

 ** ** **Rey****** : What do you mean?

 **Epsilon** : F.I.L.S.S.? The suit.

 _Cut to a POV view as the suit locker rises from the floor. The Reds and Blues stare at it. Szayel drops his Scanner in shock._

 ** ** **Rey****** : What. The hell?

 **Epsilon** : I saw it when I connected to the terminal.

 _Cut to a view of the Hephaestus armor._

 **Epsilon** : It's got everything that we need. ( _cut back to Rey_ ) Rey, take off your helmet.

 _Cut to the Reds and Blues in battle formation. Nirgge has his brute shot, Baraggan has his shotgun, Findor has two Needlers, Charlotte has two Magnums, Dordoni has two Plasma Rifles, Szayel has his Rocket Launcher, Di-Roy has Freckles, and Rey stands in the center in Meta's former armor, wielding his sword._

 **Epsilon** : So how does it feel?

 ** ** ** **Rey****** :** Kinda... tight in the crotch. ( _the suit changes from white to aqua_ ) Buuuttt, I could get used to this!

 **Charlotte:** Now _that's_ a good look for you!

 **Soldier** : ( _off screen_ ) Prepare to breach!

 **Baraggan** : Gentlemen, looks like this is it.

 ** **Findor** : **Sir, it's been an honor.

 **Dordoni:** ( _translated_ ) If I die, make sure my parts recycled.

 **Charlotte** : ( _tearful_ ) I love you too, Dordoni!

 **Szayel:** Aw, that's so sweet ( _in O'Malley's voice_ ) Now, let us strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, mwahahaha!

 **Nirgge** : Smartest thing you've ever said.

 **Di-Roy:** Yeah! Let's get 'em! ( _aims Freckles at the door_ )

 **Epsilon** : Hey, uh, I just want you guys to know that, out of everyone I've ever met... I hate you all the least.

 **Rey:** See you on the other side, Skullak.

 _The Reds and Blues ready themselves as the door is almost cut through. Suddenly the sparks stop moving. Then pans over to Epsilon. He sighs and his sniper rifle dematerializes._

 **Epsilon:** Not this time, buddy.

 _Epsilon-Delta appears next to him._

 **Epsilon-Delta** : Are you... sure about this?

 **Epsilon** : I'm sure... start a recording for me, D.

 **Epsilon-Delta** : Recording.

 **Epsilon:** Hey guys... if you're hearing this then it means you did it. You won. You kicked the shit out of Aizen's forces. I knew you could. But this is my last stop. See, when I came into this world, I was really just a collection of somebody else's memories.

 _As he speaks, the camera slowly pans over each one of the Reds and Blues._

 **Epsilon** : ( _voice over_ ) But with your help, these memories... they-they took form! They became _my_ voice, _my_ personality. And, after a while, I... I began to make brand new memories of my own. All of these things are what make me who I am... but they're also holding me back. ( _Looks at the Meta's armor_ ) I can't run this suit as Epsilon, but if I erase my memories, if I... deconstruct myself, the fragments I'll leave behind will have the strength to get you through this. I believe that. ( _each of the Epsilon A.I. fragments appears momentarily)_

 _Cut to the frozen interior of a Pelican, where Wash is standing in the cockpit, seemingly directing the pilot, while Carolina stands in the troop bay wielding a Needler. Cut to the interior of the Pelican, where the lieutenants are sitting inside and Nelliel is tending to Nakeem while Harribel watches them._

 **Epsilon** : ( _voice over_ ) I wish that there was another way. But I'm leaving this message, as well as others, in the hopes that you'll understand why I have to go this time...hehe, it was actually _Patros_ who made me realize something that I've never thought of before. There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after.

 _Cut back to Epsilon. He stares at his team, all of them ready for battle._

 **Epsilon** : But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. ( _Epsilon begins shifting between his different forms_ ) They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.

 _The sound of shattering glass is heard as Epsilon fragments himself._

 **Epsilon:** ( _voice only_ ) Ain't that a bitch.

 **Well, everyone who enjoy this two year series. I hope your enjoy it because for now it's the end. Still no new about Season 14, but still I really hope all of your like this. Will our heroes be about to defeat Aizen and is this the end of Skullak for the third and final time too? All we can do it wait to see in the future.**

 **I would like to thank everyone the liked and review this series and would like to ask for one last review one what you thing and want you hope will happen in the future too. I and all the Bleach characters that were acting all this characters in Red Vs Blue would like to thank you all for stay with us until the End. Thank and Farewell all and have a Happy and Great Holiday and New Years too.**


End file.
